"Off we go Sexy"
The Psychic paper had binged in the Doctor's pocket telling him he had received a message; so he had taken it out and it had read:
"Please come quick Doctor
Xxx"
It also had co-ordinates in the base code of the universe. Straight away he knows who it is from his wife, his true love, his all, his life. It is from the erotic River Song. Quickly he starts flying the TARDIS typing in the co-ordinates and landing her, also quicker still he does the environment checks and rushes out the door expecting to have to save the notorieties River Song but he does not know what he is up against.
As he comes out the Doctor feels cold hands on his face, then her warm lips crash into his driving them into a passionate kiss. He tastes entirely around her mouth; River is trying to gain control over the kiss but the Doctor has dominance he keeping control starts to undo his bowtie and at the same time River is helping him with his suspenders, kissing all the time they were so caught up in their love that the Doctor misses one important detail. River breaks it off knowing about this important detail and almost busting out of her shoes she says her famous line.
"Hello sweetie"
"Hi honey I'm home" the doctor replies lovingly, cradling River's face in his hands " so what was so important that you had to call me" he says sarcastically "I was just about to go have a game of chess with Winston Churchill"
"Well sweetie I wanted you to meet someone" she says to him lustfully "Doctor may I please introduce our granddaughter, Miss Clara Oswin Oswald, junior entertainment manager, star ship Alaska"
Quietly the Doctor, speechless all the while runs over to his granddaughter, to Oswin, and he conceals her in a giant bear hug "hello" he says softly "how River"
"Well we have been together a long while you've got to expect it to happen sometime"
"But River I've been traveling with her all this time and you were there for some of it, why you didn't tell me earlier, plus you could have warned me, no offence Oswin"
"None taken granddad"
"Sweetie you know our timelines are all mixed up, this is the first time I've had to be able to tell you" as she crosses her legs River takes out her prayer leaf Lorna made her as a baby but also gets out another and this one she hands to the Doctor saying " I will always tell you sweetie but I'm sorry my love I couldn't contact you earlier, we've been on the run ever since she was born as she is also not entirely human, if I'm correct I think you'll find that she is human plus timelord like me, but not like me when she regenerates she does not change her face or mannerisms".
Three months later (in the TARDIs)
The Doctor, River and Oswin are flying the TARDIS together and doing the normal dance around the console. Everyone is happy and they are on their way home to visit Oswin's dad slash the Doctor and River's son–in –law.
This is the story of when the doctor finds out about whom this impossible woman Clara Oswin Oswald really is and this is never the end.