Samuel the squirrel hopped over to the next tree branch. He loved being a squirrel on this squirrel-ful day. There was no other thing he could possibly imagine being. Squirrels were just so squirrel-ful, and he, Samuel, was happy to be one.
Samuel stopped hopping for a moment to take in his surroundings. He became aware of a few voices behind him.
Samuel pricked up his ears and turned toward the source of the sounds. He saw two men walking behind some creature he had never seen before in his life.
Samuel knew about all the creatures in the forest: the fox-ful foxes, the bird-ful birds, and the bear-ful bears. But he had never seen an animal quite like this.
"…why we can't just say 'Get Out'." The shorter of the two men was saying. "Cryptic messages never work."
"A simple one will work less." The creature said. "In case you haven't noticed, I tend to over-analyze things. Besides, we don't want to reveal where we came from. This is our best bet."
"You've already come here. You already know." Said the shorter man. "Why don't we just knock on the door-"
"You know how much that will mess everything up." The creature stopped suddenly under the tree Samuel was sitting in. The two men nearly crashed into him.
"All right. We're pretty much alone." The creature said. He somehow managed to pull a rock out of his hip and handed it to the taller man. "Draw the door, and an arrow pointing out. Animate it."
The taller man pulled a green glowing rod out of his pocket. The creature's eyes lit up.
"I haven't ever seen a green one."
The taller man smiled. "Made this one myself. Does up to seventy frames instead of fifteen."
"You never told me you made a custom animator." The shorter man said, with a slightly hurt tone of voice.
"You never told me you revolutionized time travel." The taller man retorted.
"Shut up with the bickering or I'll smack you both across the face." The creature snapped. "Come on. This is the day, and I have no idea when they're gonna come."
"They might not even come." The shorter man said. "They could have left the information to throw us off."
"They're robots." The creature said. "I doubt they have the conscience to create a plan like throwing us off."
"They have a conscience." The shorter man said defensively, with a hint of pride. "They're very self-aware. Their programming is one of a kind."
"Look at you, defending them even after they've planned to kill you." The taller man snarled. "How darling."
"You two. Cut it out." The creature pointed at the rock. "Do it."
The taller man began to trace a pattern in the rock with the green rod, but Samuel saw no difference in the rock's surface.
"Did you connect them to Glow Alert?" The creature asked.
"Of course. We have to." The shorter man said.
"Good. Hook the rock up, and let's get moving."
The two humans and the creature began to walk again. Samuel watched them go.
He had no idea what they had been doing. Humans were strange and mysterious creatures. Very human-ful.
Sampson began to hop from tree-branch to tree-branch again. Maybe if he was diligent, he would find a squirrel-ful nut.
...
Perry hadn't had a very good night, and the new day wasn't looking so promising either.
He tried to open the door of his lair, but it wouldn't budge.
"Stupid… door… thing… you shoulda recognized my stupid pawprint… you accepted it and everything…"
He rested his back against the door and tried pushing it again.
"It's February." Clara the chicken said, passing him as she walked down the hall.
Oh. That made much more sense.
Perry gave the door a much harder shove. It inched open just enough for him to crawl in.
Valentine cards and boxes of chocolates were the culprits blocking the door. Perry groaned and began to shovel them into a different section of the room.
Most of the chocolates were from Peter the panda, and some were from Darren the duck. The cards were from a few people Perry knew, and tons he hadn't ever met.
Finally he cleared a path away from the door. He sat down in his chair, exhausted.
A knock sounded on the door.
"Great." Perry called. "If you're bringing anything, PLEASE don't put it in the mail slot. Open the door and put it in Valentine Mountain instead."
Pinky the Chihuahua entered, carrying a brochure. He looked around the room.
"You always get a pretty good haul."
"It was blocking my door." Perry muttered. "Would you like to add to the pile?"
"It's not really a pile-thing. I hope it means more to you than everything making up Valentine Mountain."
"I don't know. It may be hard for you to trump Peter's bamboo-flavored chocolates."
Pinky handed him the brochure. "Happy Valentine's day from me. Take a look."
Perry looked at the front. Two kissing people were pictured, with a small person looking on in the background.
"Open it." Pinky said.
Perry did. He began to read.
Congratulations! You, your lover, and your third-wheel friend can go together to Disney for free on the amazing LOVEY-DOVEY (And third wheel) CABIN GETAWAY! Stay at our lovely wilderness resort cabins! You can sleep anywhere, and your friend can take one of the bunk-beds or have a wonderful time feeling single in a gigantic double-bed all their own! Free access to all parks! Dinners included. See you soon on the week of Valentine's day!
Perry looked up. "Wow… thanks. They really know how to make dreams come true. And single people miserable."
"I heard you had a break that week. I figured you could take that girlfriend of yours and one of the boys." Pinky said.
"I'd have to take both the boys. Can't just leave one at home. That would be a double-third-wheel trip."
"It's only a three-person trip, though. I guess you wouldn't have to take a third person, though."
"No worries, I'll take the boys. We make three."
Pinky frowned. "Wouldn't you want to take your girlfriend? I mean, it's a Valentine's day thing."
"The boys love Disney. I'd have a great time with them. Thanks, Pinky. This really did trump the chocolate." Perry smiled.
"I guess… I just don't get why you wouldn't want to… wait. Where's your fedora? You always wear it."
"I had kind of a rough night last night and forgot it somewhere. I'll get it later… oh dang. It's with the thing I was gonna give you for Valentine's day. I'm sorry, Pinky. My head's really scrambled."
"You do seem a little out of it. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Okay. Well… see ya."
"Bye."
...
Phineas and Ferb were moping in the kitchen, a plate of heart-shaped cookies in front of them.
"You guys, too?" Perry asked when he came in.
"It's just been that kind of day." Phineas sighed.
"That kind of day when you eat too many heart-shaped cookies and you feel all bloated." Ferb said.
"Well, get un-bloated and cheer up. I rented a giant red truck and we're going to Disney."
"You're not funny." Phineas said.
"I'm serious. I got a free trip from Pinky. Three people."
"No way." Phineas sat up. Then he slumped down again. "Mom and dad though. How are we gonna fool them?"
"We tell them we'll be with Baljeet at Disney." Ferb said.
"That's a good idea. You can do Baljeet's mom's voice over the phone really good." Phineas said. "Let's ask them!"
They sped out of the kitchen.
...
"Are you supposed to go through three parking lots to get to Disney?" Ferb asked.
He was sitting next to Phineas, who was in the tiny seat in the front. Perry sat next to Phineas in the driver's seat.
"I'm scared to make turns in this thing." Perry said.
"Why'd you rent such a big truck?" Ferb asked.
"To take all our purchases home in."
"This seat's really uncomfortable." Phineas said.
"Your knees are blocking the cupholders." Ferb said.
"Stop it, you two. We're almost there."
"Can we clear that?" Ferb asked.
Perry had to drive on the grass in order to avoid the wooden Disney tollbooth. The man inside stared at them.
Perry handed him the brochure.
"Third-wheel Romantic Vacation?" The man asked.
"Yep." Phineas said. "Two kids and a platypus who's thirty in platypus years."
"I'm not THAT old yet." Perry scowled.
"Okay then. Cabin 487." The man handed the brochure back. "Um… enjoy your stay… I guess."