DISCLAIMER: All the characters and locations belong to George . This is just my own version of what happened. P.s This is just stupid.
I just wrote it in 10 minutes and one of the jokes relates to someone,(YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE I still haven't forgiven you for what you
did to my teddy!)
Enjoy.
DUEL OF THE FATES (The twisted version)
Obi-wan raced to catch up with his master. Just then the energy doors closed in front of him.
"WOOOOHOOO!! yelled Obi .I don't have to fight him! Don't have to fight him! Qui-gons going to
get his ass kicked...going to get his ass kicked!" Qui-gon gives Obi a strange look and Obi stops
singing.
Stopping Qui-gon asks "What do you mean by my ass kicked??"
Darth Maul is continuing to stalk about muttering something about having to go to a 'Beauty
commercial' next and having to wrap it up within the next 5 minutes."
Obi stutters "oh uh eh, it's just an expression master...nothing to worry about." (Please doors
don't open I like my life, sort a)
Maul and Qui-gon keep battling, ducking, swinging, and yodelling
"Yodelling!!!!!! What the sith are you doing, shouts Qui-gon, you're ruining my concentration."
" Sorry mumbles Maul but I thought it would add to the atmosphere." Suddenly Maul begins to be
hit by rotten tomatoes and eggs by the onlookers off stage.
Qui-gon is heavily panting when suddenly he hears beeping. He puts a hand up. "Oh sorry it's my
pace maker, I have a heart condition.... not meant to do more than 50 lightsabre swings per
minute. Let me just fix it."
Qui-gon begins to twiddle with the pacemaker.Then Maul seizing the opportunity swings his
lightsabre forward through Qui-gons pacemaker.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "Screams Obi-wan. "How could you!? He only had one day till retirement left!
Then I would get to take a piece of him. And look his robes they are all covered in blood. How
am I going to wear them now!!"
"Uh, sorry mutters Maul. I didn't know you wanted to kill him too. Next time we will get him
together," he finishes smugly.
"NEXT TIME! There's not going to be a next time. This time you have gone too far. I'm going to
kill you maul! Sister or not!"
Maul glared at him. "I told you to stop telling everyone that! If Palpatine, uh I mean Sidous
finds out I'm not going to be allowed be a Sith. Especially if I'm related to wimp boy Obi."
Maul charges at Obi-wan and begins to furiously attack him. After a while Maul gets bored and
pushes Obi wan into the power conduit.
" Hey!! Yells Obi, that's not fair!! No pushing allowed."
"Well who you going to run to and tell now, Maul taunts." He stalks about at the top glaring down
at Obi.
Obi calls his Maters lightsabre to him but on the way he loses control and it clunks Maul on the
head. "OUCH!! You idiot. Watch it!"
Suddenly he realises he his falling forward down past Obi.
"Why you little Banta fodder "Maul yells.
Obi jumps back up and smirks, " that's what you get for decapitating my little Jedi teddy. Ha!"
Kneeling down beside Qui-gon. "He begins to speak Master I'm sorry, I failed you. (It should have
been me who killed you long before this) Can you ever forgive me? (And give me your bank account number
while you're at it too)"
"Obi its all right, he just hit my, pace-"
Just then "Staying Alive" begins to blast out of the surround sound speakers. "AUH, AUH, AUH,
STAYING ALIVE, STAYING ALIVE!"
"NOOO!! You can't be! Why can't you just die and leave me in peace. I wanna become a knight."
Obi then begins to sob like a baby.
Staying alive is still blasting away and Qui-gon finds himself humming along with it. "Auh ,
Auh, Auh, I'm staying alive, staying alive."
"Someone shut that damn music up!!" Regardless the music carries on.
The End.
All feedback is appreciated. Review please
I just wrote it in 10 minutes and one of the jokes relates to someone,(YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE I still haven't forgiven you for what you
did to my teddy!)
Enjoy.
DUEL OF THE FATES (The twisted version)
Obi-wan raced to catch up with his master. Just then the energy doors closed in front of him.
"WOOOOHOOO!! yelled Obi .I don't have to fight him! Don't have to fight him! Qui-gons going to
get his ass kicked...going to get his ass kicked!" Qui-gon gives Obi a strange look and Obi stops
singing.
Stopping Qui-gon asks "What do you mean by my ass kicked??"
Darth Maul is continuing to stalk about muttering something about having to go to a 'Beauty
commercial' next and having to wrap it up within the next 5 minutes."
Obi stutters "oh uh eh, it's just an expression master...nothing to worry about." (Please doors
don't open I like my life, sort a)
Maul and Qui-gon keep battling, ducking, swinging, and yodelling
"Yodelling!!!!!! What the sith are you doing, shouts Qui-gon, you're ruining my concentration."
" Sorry mumbles Maul but I thought it would add to the atmosphere." Suddenly Maul begins to be
hit by rotten tomatoes and eggs by the onlookers off stage.
Qui-gon is heavily panting when suddenly he hears beeping. He puts a hand up. "Oh sorry it's my
pace maker, I have a heart condition.... not meant to do more than 50 lightsabre swings per
minute. Let me just fix it."
Qui-gon begins to twiddle with the pacemaker.Then Maul seizing the opportunity swings his
lightsabre forward through Qui-gons pacemaker.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "Screams Obi-wan. "How could you!? He only had one day till retirement left!
Then I would get to take a piece of him. And look his robes they are all covered in blood. How
am I going to wear them now!!"
"Uh, sorry mutters Maul. I didn't know you wanted to kill him too. Next time we will get him
together," he finishes smugly.
"NEXT TIME! There's not going to be a next time. This time you have gone too far. I'm going to
kill you maul! Sister or not!"
Maul glared at him. "I told you to stop telling everyone that! If Palpatine, uh I mean Sidous
finds out I'm not going to be allowed be a Sith. Especially if I'm related to wimp boy Obi."
Maul charges at Obi-wan and begins to furiously attack him. After a while Maul gets bored and
pushes Obi wan into the power conduit.
" Hey!! Yells Obi, that's not fair!! No pushing allowed."
"Well who you going to run to and tell now, Maul taunts." He stalks about at the top glaring down
at Obi.
Obi calls his Maters lightsabre to him but on the way he loses control and it clunks Maul on the
head. "OUCH!! You idiot. Watch it!"
Suddenly he realises he his falling forward down past Obi.
"Why you little Banta fodder "Maul yells.
Obi jumps back up and smirks, " that's what you get for decapitating my little Jedi teddy. Ha!"
Kneeling down beside Qui-gon. "He begins to speak Master I'm sorry, I failed you. (It should have
been me who killed you long before this) Can you ever forgive me? (And give me your bank account number
while you're at it too)"
"Obi its all right, he just hit my, pace-"
Just then "Staying Alive" begins to blast out of the surround sound speakers. "AUH, AUH, AUH,
STAYING ALIVE, STAYING ALIVE!"
"NOOO!! You can't be! Why can't you just die and leave me in peace. I wanna become a knight."
Obi then begins to sob like a baby.
Staying alive is still blasting away and Qui-gon finds himself humming along with it. "Auh ,
Auh, Auh, I'm staying alive, staying alive."
"Someone shut that damn music up!!" Regardless the music carries on.
The End.
All feedback is appreciated. Review please