Extremists from the Turkey Liberation Front have run off with the disclaimer telling you that I do not own any GI Joe or X-Men characters. This is just a fun holiday fic! Enjoy!

No Thanks For Giving

"Professor why in the world did you agree for us to go over to Misfit Manor for Thanksgiving?" Scott complained to Xavier as they went into the kitchen.

"It was a very nice gesture Roadblock made," Xavier explained.

"I could make a few gestures of my own to the Misfits," Logan grumbled as he drank his coffee. Hank was sitting next to him doing the same.

"And did you really want the Misfits to come here?" Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"Not really but at least we'd be on home turf when they do the usual insanity they usually do," Scott pointed out. "Who knows what they're planning to do when we get there?"

"Scott…" Xavier began.

"I don't know Charles," Logan interrupted. "The kid has a point."

"Oh don't be such a spoilsport Scooter," Tabitha walked in blowing a bubble with some bubble gum. "Just because Jean's seeing her family for Thanksgiving doesn't mean you have to go all doom and gloom on us."

"No, but hanging around the Misfits is a reason for doom and gloom if there ever was one!" Scott told her. "Every time we go over there, we get into a huge fight and something insane happens."

"As opposed to the serenity and calm of the Institute?" Hank asked.

"Come on guys," Tabitha said. "It'll be fun! You know back in the days of the Brotherhood we didn't have much but Thanksgiving was a blast! Quickie always made sure we had enough with his special chili dog recipe!"

"Chili dogs?" Hank looked at her. "On Thanksgiving?"

"Turkey Chili dogs," Tabitha said. "Believe it or not it's the one thing Pietro can cook well."

"I believe it," Scott said.

"So who's going?" Logan asked.

"More accurately who is not going," Hank corrected. "Since most of us don't have any families."

"True," Scott agreed. "Paige and Sam went to see their family. Jean, Jamie, Danielle and Everett went to see their families. Warren's trying to make peace with his family. That's about it."

"Yeah," Bobby grumbled as he walked in. "Most of us either don't have a family or they don't want us."

"Wait, what about Kitty?" Logan asked. "She's still here and I know her family…"

"Is completely nuts! That's all I am going to say," Kitty stormed in. "I am so not looking forward to Hanukkah."

Soon the other X-Men were gathered and ready to go. "All right now, remember," Xavier said. "I want this to be a pleasant visit. Or at the very least get through this with as few explosions and fistfights as possible. So please try to be on your best behavior."

"We are so going to get them," Bobby whispered to Ray and Kurt.

"I say turnabout is fair play," Ray said. "Let's trash the Misfits' place!"

"For once they are going to be on the receiving end of the disasters," Kurt grinned. "Got everything?"

"Yeah the shaving cream and silly string are all ready," Bobby snickered as he looked in a bag he was holding.

Arcade and Angelica teleported in. "All aboard the Misfit Express!" Arcade cheered. "We set our watches to maximum range so everyone can come without holding hands."

"Still please stick together as much as possible," Angelica told them. "Or else you might end up falling apart. Shall we go?"

"Why not?" Scott resigned himself to a day without Jean and full of complete insanity. "Who better to visit on Turkey Day than the Royal House of Turkeys?"

"Scott please," Ororo chastised. "They are not…"

Before they knew it they had teleported into the middle of the Misfit living room. It was covered with silly string, feathers, shaving cream and there were crayon drawings on the walls. "Well maybe you have a point," Ororo looked around.

"Welcome to our Thanksgiving feast yo!" Todd waved. Althea was in the room with him. "And boy do we have a feast!"

"We got a turkey in the oven, two on the grill and the rest of them we're deep frying out back," Althea explained.

BOOOM!

"Whoa! That one flew five feet into the air before exploding!" Fred could be heard yelling.

"Let me take a wild guess," Scott said. "Althea your Dad's cooking those, right?"

"Yup," She said. "He's using his 'special blend' of propane."

"Special blend of…?" Scott blinked.

"Don't ask," Roadblock walked into the room. "Let's just say we prepared for this and got a few extra dozen turkeys."

"Uh…Why is the living room covered with silly string?" Kurt looked around.

"Because Shipwreck, Low Light, Xi and Pietro used up all the shaving cream in the basement," Arcade told him. "There was a slight disagreement over what to watch after the parade. The dog show or the movie about a dog show."

"Oh…" Kurt blinked. "Why don't they just watch a football game?"

"They have football games on Thanksgiving?" Arcade blinked.

BOOM!

"Dang it Shipwreck, did you blow up another turkey?" Roadblock yelled as he stormed out back.

"So much for the plan of trashing their place," Bobby blinked.

"Does seem like a moot point doesn't it?" Ray agreed. "Like setting fire to a building that's already burned down."

"I give up," Kurt groaned.

"Does that mean you're not gonna use the stuff in your bag?" Todd asked.

"Help yourself," Bobby simply handed them to him.

"All right!" Todd grinned. "Hey guys! I got more supplies! Now we can do Beach Head's bedroom!" He hopped into the next room.

"Hey it's really getting messy out there," Alex walked into the room. "But on the upside the whole place smells pretty good. Scott! How's it going?"

"Alex?" Scott hugged his brother. "What are you doing here?"

"Cover Girl and the others thought it would be nice for us to see each other!" Alex told him. "My folks and Firestar's Dad are here too. They're out back…"

BOOOM!

"Helping Shipwreck with the turkeys…" Alex finished. "My dad always did have problems with propane."

"I've already got a headache," Logan groaned.

After a while of preparing and 'family bonding' the entire group prepared to eat. They all gathered at a large table outside. Although everyone was looking forward to eating, many of them were still a bit wound up from the days festivities.

"That was supposed to be a game of touch football!" Low Light grumbled. "Not the Blitz League!"

"I almost had to eat my Thanksgiving dinner though a straw!" Shipwreck said.

"Yeah you didn't have to get so rough!" Shane grumbled.

"Oh quit whining," Jubilee told him. "I didn't shove you into the mud that hard!"

"You're lucky you will be able to eat at all after what you put me through!" Ororo snapped.

"Is this still about our one night…?" Shipwreck began. "OW! OW! LEGGO MY NOSE STORMY! OW!"

"New rule, next year no more guys verses girls games," Bobby groaned.

"Amen to that…" Low Light groaned, rubbing his shoulder. "I think you dislocated my shoulder!"

"I did not!" Cover Girl told him.

"Well I definitely heard something pop!" Low Light snapped.

"Out there couldn't have been any more dangerous than inside," Rogue told him. Her hair was mussed. "I had to break up a fist fight between these guys!"

"All Remy said was that the gravy could use a little cayenne pepper," Remy grumbled. He had a band-aid on his cheek.

"Do you really want to start that again?" Fred glared at him. His mohawk was slightly singed. "Because I am ready to go another round."

"Nobody touches my bird and that is the final word!" Roadblock warned them.

"Can we just eat?" Kurt groaned. "I'm starving!"

"Me too!" Fred said. "I love Thanksgiving! It's probably the greatest American Holiday ever!"

"Not for some of us," Forge grumbled. "For some of us it marked the beginning of the end."

"There went the continent," Spirit agreed.

"I'm hungry!" Barney yelled from his high chair.

"Me too!" Claudius did the same. They were sitting near Logan and Hank.

"You know what?" Barney asked Logan and Hank. "After Thanks-givening Christmas is coming! And I'm gonna get lots of presents and see the tree and…"

"Guess what?" Claudius hiccuped. "Beaky and me went up and then we went to the room and we saw all the toys and then we were firemen and there was a fire and everything we had to save them and…"

"And I wanna see Santa and all his reindeer," Barney continued. "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Rudolph…Uh…Comet…Uh, Rudolph…"

"You know I miss the days when those two could only speak one or two words," Logan groaned.

"Okay," Roadblock counted off as the Misfits set the table. "We've got the turkeys…Most of them. We've got the stuffing, the cranberry sauce, the cornbread, corn on the cob, salad, potato salad, sweet potato pie, two kinds of gravy, mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, fried greens, green beans, baked beans, dates, date bread, pumpkin bread, crescent rolls, wheat rolls, lasagna, artichoke hearts, applesauce, onion relish, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, chocolate pie, chocolate pecan pie, apple pie, blueberry pie, chocolate cake, vanilla cake, marble cake…"

"And last but not least, my famous Turkey Chili Dogs Ala Quicksilver!" Pietro set a huge tray of chilidogs on the table.

"All right!" Kurt licked his lips. "Now this is a holiday feast!"

"Hold it Kurt," Scott stopped him from taking one. He looked at Pietro. "What exactly is so special about these things? I mean this isn't like that Squirrel Casserole you guys made a while back is it?"

"No it is not," Pietro took offense. "This is one hundred percent rodent free beef! And I even made some vegetable ones for Kitty."

"It's the purple ones," Lance pointed out. "I think they're made out of eggplant or something."

"All right! Commence shoveling!" Todd yelled. Suddenly the Misfits started eating with very enthusiastic relish.

"Don't you think we should say grace or something first?" Kitty asked. "I mean none of the X-Men are…" She looked over at Kurt, Bobby, Ray, Tim and Tabitha.

"Are what?" Kurt said with his mouth full.

"Never mind…" Kitty sighed. "Pass the vegetable chili dogs."

"Well this is a typical Thanksgiving," Scott sighed. "I'm with a bunch of turkeys stuffing themselves."

"Scott…" Xavier warned. "Let's just enjoy our meal and be thankful that we are all together and have a nice peaceful Thanksgiving."

AOOOHGGGGHAAAA! AOOOOOHHHHHGAH!

"What's that?" Mr. Masters yelled.

"The alarm," Low Light told him. He looked upwards. "Oh great!"

"Please tell me I am not seeing a giant platoon of Cobra BATS falling from the sky," Jean groaned.

"You are," Althea said.

"I told you not to tell me!" Jean said. "Everybody run!"

"Into the house!" Shipwreck shouted as he stood up. "You know the drill!"

"No, we don't!" Mr. Masters screamed.

"Just get inside the house!" Althea grabbed Claudius. "Grab the babies and the civilians and the pecan pie! Move it!"

"Come on! Time to flee for our lives!" Shipwreck clapped his hands as everyone ran inside.

"We are not fleeing for our lives!" Cover Girl snapped as she took Barney inside. She placed him in the nearest playpen and grabbed a large gun out of the cupboard. "We are evacuating the civilians and grabbing the weapons."

"Okay Dragonfly, Dead Girl, Shooter, Jubilee, Firestar, Arcade, Xi and Toad your job is to stay in here and protect the civilians and the babies. Trinity, Spider you get up to the secret turrets and man the cannons!" Spirit ordered as he grabbed a bow with rocket propelled arrows. "Everyone else either grab a gun or get your powers warmed up and get out on the lawn! Now!"
"You know they only sent these things to annoy us," Roadblock grumbled as he grabbed a huge high caliber machine gun from the closet. "I mean there must only be two hundred or so BATS out there."

"Yeah it's like they're not even trying," Pietro scoffed. He ran outside. The rest followed him and started to fight off the BATS.

"Let's see, exploding turkeys, fist fights and now an army of robots is attacking," Rogue groaned as she prepared to clobber the robots. "Yup, it's a Mutant Thanksgiving all right!"

"Don't take this the wrong way Scott, but there are times I'm actually glad I'm not in the X-Men," Alex said as he blasted a few BATS with his powers.

BOOM!

"There goes one of the turkeys!" Fred grumbled. "But on the bright side it took out a BAT."

"Alex there are times that I'm actually jealous of you for not being in the X-Men," Scott groaned.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!