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Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal, nor the characters in it.
A story of Ed falling for Envy and Envy falling for Ed. The events in the story lean more towards the show than the manga. Is somewhat angsty, especially in the beginning, but will get better.
It picks up somewhere after the Lab. 5 incident, but as I don't really follow either version of FMA, I can't tell you much more than that. Sorry.
Any additional warnings will be put at the beginning of each individual chapter.
Also, I've rated this fanfic T, but if anyone thinks it should be under M, please notify me immediately as I do not want to get in trouble! Thankx!
Enjoy!
"Why! Why won't you fight back Pipsqueak!" Envy roared, pinning Edward against the wall. Edward didn't even react to the insult. This isn't right, is all Envy could think.
Edward looked at Envy through his blood stained bangs and gave him a weak smile. "There's no reason to."
"What?" Envy cried, jabbing deeper into the wound on Edward's shoulder. "Why not?"
Edward grunted as the new wave of pain hit him. He dropped his head. "I know what you are Envy. I know what you think you are, and that idea is too different from mine. What's the point in fighting if I know I couldn't do it in the end," he said in such a whispered voice that Envy had barely heard him.
"We're homunculi! How can we be anything but that? What can't you do?" Envy yelled. This couldn't be happening! The runt couldn't be giving up! Not now!
Edward lifted his head until he was eye level with Envy. His expression was pain filled and oh so sad. Envy didn't like it. It was like those golden orbs could pierce through anything, but that wasn't the most horrifying thing to him. Those eyes had always held a fire that fueled Edward's entire being, but now it was reduced to a weak spark. That scared Envy most of all. It felt like eons passed as Envy was looked upon with that gaze, but in realty not even a couple of seconds had passed.
In the same whispered Edward replied, "I couldn't kill you."
Envy was left silent. He didn't know what to do with that statement, so he said not a word.
Edward lowered his gaze and asked, "Why do you want the stone?"
"We've already told you runt, we want to become human!" Envy hissed, taking another jab at his height, hoping to get a reaction out of the boy, but nothing. Not even a flinch.
"Why human? What's wrong with being a homunculus?" Edward pressed.
"Why does that matter?" Envy yelled.
"Because from what I see, you're not too different from us." Envy was shell-shocked by this point. He didn't know what to say, but that was okay as Edward kept speaking. "You have feelings, they might not be the best at times, but you experience things like joy and triumph. I can see that every time we fight, every time when you've beaten me." He took in a ragged breath. "You feel physically. I can see that too in our fights when I actually hit you," he let out a breathless laugh at the end of that statement. Envy couldn't process all of this. All he, they, have been known as were monsters, and here, their worst enemy, was saying something otherwise. That couldn't be possible. "You have wants and desires. You're selfish and egotistical, not to mention vain," and as Edward continued, Envy could help but get the feeling that Edward was talking more about himself, Envy, than the other homunculi. "You're physical makeup is similar as well from what I've seen. So for me, that's all too human."
Now Envy was getting angry. He grabbed Edward by the shoulders and flung him across the room. Edward didn't fight the motion, and only managed to land on his feet. Envy sprang over to him and tried to strike at the boy. Do anything to make him fight back. Edward just blocked near every move. This was too much for Envy. He tripped Edward and pinned him to the floor.
He had his hands on either side of Edward's face, knowing that Edward wouldn't make any attempt to push Envy off of himself. Not looking at him Envy asked, "Why do you want your brother to return to the flesh, FullMetal?"
Edward was silent for a moment. He looked up at the ceiling of their current battleground. When he did answer, his voice was stronger, more resolved, and that much more sad. "I want him to get back what he lost because of me. This leg and arm of mine is fine with me. I have it because of my own choices and my mistakes. I'll carry this burden as a constant reminder to never fall off track again, but Al…," His voice broke at his brother's name. "It was all my fault. I wanted something bad enough and was reckless enough to go after it, and I had to drag Al along with me. He protested against it all the way through, but I never listened, and there was no way Al was going to leave me to do it alone, and I knew that." There was a pause and Envy took that chance to give Edward a sidelong glance. His face was pained. His eyes were closed and his breathing had become more irregular. When he did open his eyes again, they were hard with resolve. "That's why I have to get his body back. My motives are nothing but selfish and so I can lessen my own guilt. I know that, but Al shouldn't have to suffer because of me." Edward looked back to Envy. "Is I really that bad? You're the very thing we humans have wanted to obtain for years. To be invincible. Immortal. An ever-lasting weapon that has no pure motives or intentions. Alchemist or no, everything thinks of living forever."
There was a long moment of silence before Envy answered. "Do you know what it's like to live forever?" Another moment of silence. "We don't die. We can't, at least not by human measures. We don't have to eat, yet when we do, the taste is dulled. We can choose not to sleep, but when we do, we're not lulled by dreams. We're controlled and used, and all we want is to break away from it all. After awhile, eternity becomes unbearable."
All while Envy spoke, Edward watched him. He watched his every movement since he couldn't see his face. He heard how every word was spat with bitter sarcasm. How his fist clenched at the mention of being controlled, and how his tone got angrier.
"I don't mind this form. Usually I find it quite fun and very enjoyable. Living for eternity doesn't bother me, nor the trivial humanesque pleasures, all I want is this leash off my neck," the last was spoken so softly but with a ferocity Edward didn't think was possible at that volume.
This was the most open the homunculus had ever been with him. He was actually quite surprised, but that surprise was dulled by the sheer pleasure it brought Edward. Edward was brought out of his musings though when the voice of Envy entered his thoughts.
"Fight me FullMetal," he said before jumping off of Edward, landing not five feet from him.
Edward stood and just looked at Envy who was looking back just as intently. "No."
Envy physically bristled at this. "Why not?" he cried for the second time during their encounter.
"I already told you why."
"And I told you that your reasons were wrong! You should have no problems now!" Envy yelled, getting angrier and more desperate as the moments went by, though the second he refused to show.
Edward just stood there.
Envy leapt.
He kicked for Edward's jaw, but was blocked my his automail arm. Edward pushed the leg away and took a step back. Envy landed gracefully back on his feet and swung a punch, also for his face. This one got caught by Edward's other hand. Envy pulled his hand back and did another barrage of attacks. Most of them either got blocked, caught, or simply avoided, while the blows that actually landed did little damage.
"Fight me runt!" Envy yelled as he threw another punch, which Edward caught.
"I said no!" Edward yelled back as he pushed the fist away, taking more steps backward.
A few more punches and kicks. "I need you fight me!"
Edward lost his concentration, earning his a kick in a stomach that pushed him back, running him into the wall. "I need you to fight back!" Another kick, again blocked by Edward. "Because when you fight back, I know I don't have to hold everything back. I know I can fight you and that you can take it!" The statement ended up with Envy punching the area just right of Edward's face, and creating a hole in the stonewall.
They stood like that for a while, the only movement being Envy uncurling his fist, but not brining away from the hole. The blood loss was getting to Edward. His vision was starting to become riddled with black dots, and his legs swayed dangerously under him. At the same time, he couldn't ignore the feeling of Envy's breath landing on his neck, nor their close proximity.
"Dammit," came the fierce whisper from Envy before he turned and walked away.
Edward watched him walk away, ignoring his want to call out to him and the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Edward looked at the ceiling for a while, trying to get his vision under control, before deciding it was time for him to leave.
He pushed himself off of the wall and took slow steps toward the entrance, picking up his coat and putting it on as he did so. He had a long way to go before reaching Central Headquarters, and he knew it would be that much harder to reach if he gave his body any sort of rest now.
So he slowly made his way back to headquarters, using the walls as support and thanking whatever deity that made it to where the streets were empty. The closer he got to Headquarters, the more he thought of the Colonel that he had to see there. He would probably go one about how could he have possibly gotten this banged up with such a simple mission.
Edward had been given the assignment to check out an abandoned factory that had been reported as having some suspicious activity. When Edward got to the factory however, instead of seeing the usual low-level thugs that he expected, he was greeted with the scene of Envy. Luckily for Ed though, the other two had already left the sight so he was only left with one. On the other hand, it was the one he wanted to see the most as well as the least.
They had fought at first, Ed halfheartedly, until he had absolutely refused to do so. What happened next followed the exact scene that happened not twenty minutes ago.
Edward looked around himself to see how much farther he had to go. At least fifteen more minutes, his tired mind calculated. He stopped walking, slumping against the wall to catch his breath.
If it had been either of the other two, Edward would have been fine, or finer, but instead fate had to work its cruel webs and send him Envy.
Envy.
Edward knew he should hate the sin, especially after that Lab. 5 incident, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to. Well, that's not exactly correct. Ed knew why he couldn't hate the sin, but it certainly didn't make the circumstances any easier.
Ed pushed himself off of the wall and started to walk again, trusting his feet to know wear to go as he let his mind wander.
He had fought Envy so many times before this, but this time was different. Edward didn't exactly know why that was. Maybe because they were alone, or he just finally couldn't do it anymore. Every other time he had fought Envy, it had been exhilarating, if not fearful, and something that, strangely, Edward had enjoyed. The more encounters Edward had with the sin however, the more he had realized he couldn't stop thinking about him.
He walked up the steps of the Central building, and made his way to the Colonel's office when he was inside.
The thinking had started with the usual spew of insults and other vulgar language, all aimed at Envy, but slowly it became more tame and inquisitive, and then, finally, this. Edward couldn't remember when he had actually realized he had fallen in love with the sin, since it was such a slow and gradual thing, but he knew that it was a devastating thing to realize.
He turned the corner, passing the sleeping quarters, and quickly debated whether just to sleep there since the office was no doubt empty, but just continued to walk towards the office.
At first he was sickened with himself for loving such a monster, until he had come to the, however atrocious, excuses he had told Envy earlier. But with those excuses came the sinking sorrow of it all. It was impossible, completely unfathomable, and so thoroughly heartbreaking. Seeing the sin tonight in no way helped that either. All that had done was made Edward realize just how impossible the very notion of it was.
He stepped into the office, completely empty, but seeing as how he had already guessed that, he just shrugged. Being as tired as he was, instead of going back to the sleeping quarters, he feel unto the couch. There he let a few of the tears that wanted to so badly get out escape, and let himself break just a little bit more.
The beginning's kinda confusing, I know, but I explain in later chapters what's happening.
Critisism is always desired, but I really don't want to read flammers. Be warned if you do put a flammer, I will mock it incessantly.
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Sin and Sinner!
