AN: Wow, to have clicked on the link to read this, you must be deathly bored or very fucking curious.
Keep in mind, this was written by me and my friend around five o'clock in the morning for the hell of it. I'm Melissa-chan and he is Robbie-chan.
Just to answer a few inevitable questions now: Yes, he was over my house and we were sharing the keyboard while typing this Yes, we have issues. Yes, this is disgusting. No, he doesn't know I'm posting this. Yes, he would kill me if he did. No, he hasn't come out of the closet, yet. Yes, I know you're not allowed to post things like this on and call it a story, what makes you think I care?
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, but if it did Itachi would be fucking Sasuke's brains out constantly, and I would add clips of Kakashi playing with a My Little Pony, because I'm that sick and twisted.
Stupidity At It's Finest
Melissa-chan: Yay.
Robbie-chan: pay me to fuck u
Melissa-chan: Um, no. Too fugly.
Robbie-chan: I know, you are arnt you, thanks for stopping me
Melissa-chan: You're welcome, I wouldn't want you to cheat on Kevin.
Robbie-chan: Your mistaken, if I even touched kevin i would burn up and die. The person you must have seen with me was kankuro on a bad hair day
Melissa-chan: Kankurou is too busy fucking Kiba. I mean, he came to the guy's rescue, isn't it obvious they're madly in love and wish to make thousands of little assbabies?
Robbie-chan: You are again mistaken, Kanuro only spends half his time playing kinky sex games with kiba, the other half is when were having three/ways. And Im the one whose in charge of having the assbabies
Melissa-chan: ...Damn, that is kinky.
Robbie-chan: I know. If you want we could go out on a double date together. I would bring Kiba or Kankuro and you could bring itachi or sauke or any of the many men/females you like
Melissa-chan: ...Well, we could do that, or you could bring both of your bitches and I could bring two of mine, the sex would be oh so much more sweeter.
Robbie-chan: Well, wouldnt that be a little awkward when all of a sudden I start fucking them 4 ft away from you? In public. I dont like that idea though. Its another thing when were in bed but another when werfe out in public, id feel bad becuz i might give one more attention then the other you have a BFFDD.
Melissa-chan: What makes you think we would all do the nasty in public? I'm am not into that either, you fuck after the date, Kid. I love all my bitches equally...well, okay, I don't but I make them think I do. I'm a good actress, and I have a big heart. No, I don't have a dick.
Robbie-chan: I love mine equally its just mine tend to get jealous so it would be hard. I could just take one on the date then after he went homne called the other one over for some sweet lovin. And yes, you do have a dick.
Melissa-chan: I do not. Did you know that Gaara gets loving from his Ji-Ji?
Robbie-chan: gasp Hes cheating on me?!?!?!
Melissa-chan: Yes, and that's not the only person, we've rolled around in the sheets too.
Robbie-chan: WOW THAT SOUNDED LIKE SUCH A WHORE COMMENT
Melissa-chan: ...It was supposed to...
Robbie-chan: Wow, thats makes me wonder what you do with SAkura
Melissa-chan: Heh, I'll never tell, that is purely confidential.
Robbie-chan: Is it some good pussy
Melissa-chan: ...You're sick! Jesus! Yes...
Robbie-chan: OMG OMG OMG I just had one of those deja vue thingies. OMG OMG OMG Tongith me, and Kiba and Kankuro and all my bitches are gpoing to have a big giant f fest WOOOOO
Melissa-chan: I'm having one with my bitches tomorrow, tonight I'm only having a foursome. Mm, origies.
Robbie-chan: Thats a problem though becuz some of your bitches are my bithes. Were going to have to make a calendar and start planning this olut or something
Melissa-chan: You're right. At least I don't have to share Sakura with you.
Robbie-chan: Yes, Im not really into transvestites. You forgot Sasuke and Itachi too. Oh, and Naruto
Melissa-chan: ...I can't believe you don't want to go at it with Naruto-
Robbie-chan: you're going to say somethng about his penis aren't you.
Melissa-chan: I mean, the guy must have some awesome fucking stamina. No, I save all the dick jokes for Kakashi.
Robbie-chan: Now that I think about it hes somewhat hot when hes older. So maybe I will add him to the list
Melissa-chan: That's fine, everyone else does the poor guy, why not you too? AIDS.
Robbie-chan: I get Kiba on Saturday becz for some reason he reminds me of a Saturday. Kankuro on Mondays. Shikamaru on wednesday. Kakashi on Friday morning, Gai on Tuesday night, Gaara on Tuesday morning, Kisame on Thruday night, Jiraiya on Friday night, and Zabuza on Sunday. Thats all I can think of right at the moment
Melissa-chan: Okay. Um, you know it would take me forever to type all mine out, so I'll just work around your schedule and take whatever bitches are available.
Robbie-chan: OMG i forgot Asuma I dont know what day thoygh...Ill just switch off between him and Kakashi
Melissa-chan: Okay. Mm, Kakashi. He has a massively huge penis.
AN: Added some end notes for the hell of it.
By reading this your IQ has dropped by six percent, congratulations.
Robbie's spelling and grammar is atrocious and I was tempted to slap him while we wrote this for using chatspeak.
Kevin is my older brother who takes monthly showers.
BFFDD stands for big fat floppy donkey dick, which you have.
"Ji-Ji" is a nickname I bestowed upon Neji, because I have issues.
Robbie doesn't hate Sakura, even though he called her a trans.
Neither of us have anything against transvestites or homosexuals. I mean, he's gay and we're best friends.
The only bitches we share are Kiba, Shikamaru, Kakashi and Gaara. The rest of his bitches are really fucking awesome though.
Review and I'll hate you forever.
I've never written such long author notes.
Happy fucking New Years and a happy birthday to Gai, you know Melissa-chan, Robbie-chan, Lee and (secretly) Kakashi all love you.
Cheers!