I kinda got this idea while I was having a haircut. Again, Kishimoto-sensei owns Naruto. I would be ecstatic if he let me own the manga too but well, that's not gonna happen so…yeah. Enjoy.
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'White Zetsu' 'Black Zetsu'
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Being two halves joined in a body sometimes brings about numerous comical situations. Black Zetsu and White Zetsu, despite common belief, actually hold very different opinions about various matters.
So no one in Akatsuki is surprised when one day, they decide to argue about the mundane topic of hair.
You see, White Zetsu thinks he wants his hair long. Well, Zetsu is a plant, one way or another, but he is also a bit…human. And humans have urges to beautify themselves. It should be no wonder that White Zetsu suddenly feels like growing out his hair just for the hell of it.
The only problem is Black Zetsu doesn't seem to approve of said idea very zealously.
"What the fuck is wrong with long hair?" White Zetsu whines. "We've been keeping this hairstyle for who knows how long!"
"Then I must say that not changing anything doesn't… change anything." Comes Black Zetsu's lame retort. "Besides, I'm black. And I tend to absorb sunlight, and you have no freaking idea how hot it gets in summer. That plus your long hair will literally fry me… which means we both will suffer."
"But come on! I didn't say loooooonnnggggggg fucking hair, I said long hair! See the difference, will ya?!"
"I absolutely refuse to see your point."
"Urg! Don't you get it? Keeping our hair short means wasting time cutting it when it gets just a centimeter longer. Didn't you tell me last time that you don't have all freaking day doing meaningless stuff?!"
"Having a haircut doesn't count as meaningless or time-consuming. Konan does a good job every time, in case you haven't noticed."
"… Are you for real?"
"Are you for real, that's the bigger question. I have yet to understand why exactly you want to keep this thing we call hair longer than necessary."
"… KONAN!"
The one and only female member of Akatsuki comes strolling into the lounge. "What is it you want?"
"Do we look better with short or long hair?" White Zetsu points at himself, a cute (if he could ever be called cute… never mind. The image is horrendously traumatizing. Never try this at home, people) pout present on his face.
"Konan, he is being unreasonable. Just ignore him." Black Zetsu growls.
"…"
"But Konan! Even you can see we look better with our hair long, right?!"
"…"
"I told you, I don't fucking want to become fried vegetable!"
"… Wait. I think I have the solution for you." Konan suggests.
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A month later, the Akatsuki basement nearly explodes with laughter and a certain plant's scream in despair when Zetsu presents himself with his hair half-short, half-long.
White Zetsu then has to admit his other half was right and gets a never-ending humiliating cackle from Black Zetsu afterwards. Konan does the organization a favor and fixes the horrible mess that is Zetsu's hair before their basement has the chance to blow up like firework.