Sorry if you lose a braincell or two.
"No, no, there… there must be… there must be some kind of mistake. Are you sure this is our child?" Sumia, tired and aching from labor, was unable to sit up and look at the midwife. All she could do was crane her neck from the pillow it was resting on to try and look at the woman in the eye.
"But… my queen, this… you bore this from between your legs." the elderly woman looked like she was about to suffer from a heart attack, her eyes wide open in disbelief. "A-And the Mark of the Exalt, it is here as well! It… It must be of your blood!"
"Chrom… Chrom! I don't… I don't even…" the queen did her best to speak with him. But the prince, who had entered the room hoping to see his newborn child, had now fallen into an empty chair, his face buried in his hands.
Strangely though, he found himself going into the recent past.
A flying rock saved Lissa from a Risen before it could strike her down, its body melting to ashes before it even hit the ground.
A flying rock somehow knocked out Lon'qu before the tournament began, leaving the West Khan without a champion.
Not to mention that the assassins meant to kill Chrom were defeated by more flying rocks.
And these were not mere pebbles, the rocks that Frederick the Wary would seek to remove. These rocks were large and heavy. Even Vaike, arguably the strongest in their band, had difficulty moving them sometimes.
Was this retribution? The gods extracting payment for their services? This was supposed to be physically impossible.
Suddenly the door swung open.
"Chrom! Is everything alright? I saw you run in, but then it became quiet." It was Robin, his tactician. For a moment, his face lit up. Surely the man would have a solution to this debacle!
Before Chrom could speak though, Robin's eyes traced to the bundle that the midwife was holding. His body froze momentarily, but he slowly reached for the body seated on the blankets and held it up.
"Wow…" he softly whispered, "she's adorable!"
"Geodude!"
Sumia aptly fainted.
And thus, Lucina the Geodude was born into the world with much confusion.
A/N: So way back in late February, before I started designing the poll on my profile, I was playing around with the phrase "time traveler". Then I realized that if you switched out one letter, it became Graveler, and then suddenly images of Lucina as a time-traveling pokemon could not leave me. To class up into a Graveler, you would need to feed her a ground-up master seal. Cynthia would wield the Falchion because Lucina's arms are too stubby. And being a rock pokemon, she would resist lightning and wind magic and take minimal damage from fire (at least that's what it used to be like...). And since Robin's technically a dragon, too, we might as well give him Dragon's Rage.
The rest is, thankfully, history.
Then not long after I started thinking about April Fools and I decided to create a poll spot for this one as well. From day one, that option was just a gag option. It would never have resulted in a true lemon between the two. I know nothing of their dynamic outside of what I saw on youtube and other authors. I don't enjoy writing about characters when they are this deep and require quite a bit of forethought prior to writing.
And it's not that I dislike Lucina. I think she's a perfectly good character and enjoy seeing her in other pairings. I just find that I'm not a very big fan of this pairing. What's weird is that I tend to gravitate towards the seemingly canon pairings in other fandoms I visit. But this one I just can't seem enjoy beyond a simple passing. Now I have been warming up a little, but I still find myself glazing over fics that focus around them. Maybe it's the whole "we can't be together because I'm from another time dimension" that is gone over again and again (and I realize RobinxTiki also features something similar to this, but that is for another day). But I feel like whenever I read the pairing, I already know how it's going to happen, even when I don't and I feel bad that I pre-judge. But alas, that's just me.
So you could consider this as my little trick of sorts. I'm sorry for leading you on, RobinxLucina fans, but I at least hope you got a strange laugh out of this. I do not expect myself to update this, despite having some short, fun ideas to further this little thing.
I do not own Fire Emblem.
Also I feel bad because all these notes are actually more than the length of the actual piece. Sorry everyone. At the very least, I have other things in motion that I intend to work on, so we'll see how those turn out.
