Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Song used is Kendall Payne's Scratch, which I also do not own.
Okay so I know it's been months since I updated OIFAN and I really should have spent my spare time writing that but this idea came to me today I couldn't get it out of my head and here we are. Hopefully this spurt means I'm back on the writing train and I'll be more inspired. For now I hope you all like this one shot!
Scratch
It's a big girl world now
Full of big girl things
And everyday I wish I was small
Walking down the streets of Tree Hill, she was amazed to see how little it had changed since the last time she'd been here. Granted, the scenery was identical but the woman walking the streets could not have been more different than she was last time.
Haley had done a lot of growing up since graduating high school. At the end of summer after senior year she left for college all the way across the country at Stanford. It had been hard saying goodbye, sure but she loved the experience of being in a place so different than the one she had spent the first eighteen years of her life. Leaving behind the friendships she had formed along the way proved to be the hardest. Of course she had adapted after leaving and formed new friendships and experienced a load of happiness at Stanford, but California had gotten old and wore out its welcome in her life.
At some point, she had let her life there become monotonous and dull. Those were two words that had never described her life or personality when in Tree Hill and it sparked a deep longing for her hometown. At what point had her life transformed to that kind of misery? At the thought, she only wished to transport herself back to high school and relive some of her happiest memories. The place and people surrounding her could never be beaten by California or all the fake and self-obsessed people it held.
Which is why she had returned home after being gone for nearly five years. She wanted that spark back in her life and Haley James was fully cognizant that Tree Hill was the place she would get it. She didn't exactly know how, but the simplicity and beauty of the town was already having an effect on her after mere hours. She let a small smile paint her features at the realization she had made the best decision quite possibly she's ever made.
She hadn't even told any of her old friends or family that she was returning, instead opting for the surprise effect she so hated being sprung onto herself. She had kept in contact with just about everyone but lately conversations had been few and far between and she wasn't quite sure how to spring the latest development of her life on everyone.
Three months ago, when her musician boyfriend proposed to her, she was so shocked she couldn't even speak. They had been dating for six months, but both were so focused on their careers that the relationship often came second. She didn't think it was that serious between them, they were just supposed to be having light fun together. Then out of nowhere, once his first album came out and gained a fair amount of success, he was so elated that he popped the question. After a few minutes of stunned silence, she managed to utter a soft no. Haley knew that Chris' proposal came more out of gratitude to her for being one of the first people that believed in his career. She saw is talent and used her intern position at an L.A record label to get his name in conversation. She ended up getting her start at music producing with him and the journey had brought them closer – more as good friends than lovers she came to realize.
It had been hard on them both after that. Chris surprisingly took her response in stride and understood where she was coming from. They agreed to be friends still but it was strained and causing heartache on them. Chris really thought he loved her and was still heartbroken by the loss and Haley felt all consuming guilt at not being able to reciprocate those feelings and continuing to hurt him in the process.
So she made the decision to leave. Chris was her only real close friend in California and the loss of him made her feel more isolated than ever. She needed to get away from that pain and the first thing that popped into her head was Tree Hill. Home. She could escape from the grown up world and all her problems in California for a little while at least.
'Cos I've been counting on nothing
But he keeps giving me his word
And I am tired of hearing myself speak
Do you ever get weary? Do you ever get weak?
How do you dream when you can't fall asleep?
Downtown Tree Hill was one of the most comforting places she'd ever been. From her spot on the Riverwalk she could make out the glow of the sign for Karen's Café and subconsciously began making her way over to it. Her mouth salivated at the memory of all the delicious foods she had eaten there once upon a time.
She swung the door open and smiled at the familiar bell that chimed above it to signal her arrival. It was later in the evening, after the dinner rush so the place was fairly empty. The brunette woman behind the counter looked up at the noise and Haley's grin widened at the sight of her surrogate mother.
"Haley James?" Karen half shouted with a large smile painting her face in surprise.
"The one and only," Haley shrugged non-chalantly and made her way across the café quickly. The two women embraced in a tight hug and Haley reveled in the comfort of it, she had been needing a Karen Roe-Hargrove hug for a long time.
"I didn't know you were coming to town! Lucas never mentioned anything."
"Actually, Lucas doesn't know. I'm kind of surprising everyone," she chuckled lightly.
Karen still looked thrilled to see her despite pulling away from the hug. "Well it's definitely a wonderful surprise. We've missed you around here. How long are you staying?"
Haley shrugged indifferently. "I'm not sure yet. I kind of just packed up all my stuff and came back, don't really have a set plan yet."
"All of your stuff?" Karen asked with a raised brow.
Haley smiled at her. "Yeah. I'm done with California for a while."
"Well, have a seat. I'll grab you something to eat."
"Thanks, Karen," Haley smiled graciously and sat down at one of the barstools beside her.
Karen disappeared to the back, leaving Haley alone at the bar. She drummed her fingers against it nervously and tried to figure out how to spring her return on everyone else. Actually, more like one person in particular. So lost in thought, Haley didn't hear the bells chiming again or another person approach the bar right next to her.
He had sure noticed her though. Even from behind, this woman was gorgeous. She had long honey blonde hair that reached the middle of her back, perfectly sun-kissed skin and a dress that accentuated what curves he could see perfectly. If he craned his neck to the side enough he could catch a delicious view of her toned legs that were crossed over each other. His heart raced at the thoughts going through his mind and approached next to where she sat innocently.
He spluttered and coughed in shock when he looked down and saw a very familiar face. "Haley?"
Haley looked up at the sound of her name being called and almost fell off her stool in surprise. "Nathan! Oh my God!"
She leapt up quickly, trying to recover from the widened eyes, deer in headlights expression she was most likely sporting a moment ago. He looked at her appraisingly and she noticed but brushed it off. He opened his arms slightly awkwardly and she stepped into them easily, allowing herself to transport back five years to when they were in this position quite frequently.
"It's been a long time," he mused softly while still holding her to him and she nodded against his chest softly. "How have you been?"
"Good," she managed to get out shakily after a moment of silent pondering of her answer. "Yeah, good. How are you?"
"Good," he repeated her word choice with a small smile down at her. He gestured to a booth off to the side of the café, "Would you like to eat with me? We can catch up."
Haley hesitated for a moment, not sure if it was the best idea to let herself be alone with him just yet.
"Come on, I won't bite," he joked lightly and flashed her the same smile he often did in high school. "I promise."
"Yeah, okay," she agreed and followed him over to a table quietly. They sat across from each other in silence for a moment before Nathan finally broke it.
"So what brings you back to Tree Hill? Lucas told me you were practically becoming a big shot music producer out there!"
"Just needed to get away from it all," she shrugged easily and he looked at her questioningly, to which she diverted her gaze from.
"I know what you mean," he agreed. "Trust me, there's nothing like taking a break and coming back home to reset for a while."
Promise? Trust? Why was he saying these things to her? The way things had gone the last time they spoke didn't exactly scream promises or trust. She was surprised they were even sitting across from each other so simply right now in fact.
Just as she was about to formulate a response to him, Karen came back out into the dining area and noticed them together. She smiled wryly and approached delicately, aware of their history and placed Haley's meal in front of her in silence. She must have known Nathan was coming in as well since she had food for him already too. "Enjoy kids," she smiled and retreated in the same silence.
"So, any particular reason you decided to come back now?" he prodded after a moment.
Haley shrugged and looked away. "Nah, California just got to be a lot to handle I guess."
"Do I need to beat up that boyfriend of yours?" he asked toughly and she shook her head slightly, surprised at his remaining uncanny ability to read what was going on with her.
"Its fine," she shrugged.
"Obviously not if it was bad enough for you to come running across the country," he pointed out.
"Let it go, Nathan," Haley responded tensely and looked at her food as she ate in silence.
"Nope. It's my job to find out what's going on with you and make sure no one is messing with my girl."
Haley tensed at that and dropped her fork harshly on her plate. "No it isn't! I'm not your girl anymore Nathan and you made damn sure of that. Enough with the charade and acting like we're still close or something! There is a reason we haven't talked in years, you know."
"Haley, I-"
"Just stop. We don't need to rehash our past, it's done. I don't need another explanation or another promise for the future because it's all bullshit, Nathan. Yes, I'm home, but that doesn't mean you can just jerk me around and play the role of overprotective boyfriend because that isn't who you are anymore and it's not fair."
Nathan sighed deeply and stood from the booth and she refused to look at him. "Haley."
His tone left no room for argument and she looked into his piercing eyes for the first time that night. She felt her breath catch her in throat at the intensity staring back at her. He held out a hand to her and cocked his head slightly towards the door. "Take a walk with me."
She tried to rack her brain for an appropriate excuse as to why she couldn't but came up with nothing. Reluctantly, she took his proffered hand and allowed him to begin leading her out of the café. The shouted a good bye to Karen and were off in to the beautifully lit downtown.
I've been wondering what you're thinking
And if you liked my dress tonight?
Would you still say you love me
Under this ordinary moonlight?
I'm so afraid of what you'll say
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance
They strolled along the Cape Fear in silence. Haley's mind was running rampant trying to process how she had made it to this point with Nathan. She had caught him once again checking her out as they left the café but didn't point it out. She had changed since high school – new hair colour, tanner skin, lost some weight, new and better wardrobe, and most dramatically gained a lot more self-confidence. He was probably just taking a moment to observe the changes after so long and making judgments off them. Did he like the new her? Suddenly she felt self-conscious standing next to him wearing a much shorter and revealing dress than she would when they were together. It was still modest enough for her to feel comfortable in public, but he wasn't used to this in her and she found herself dying to know what he thought about it.
She spared a sideways glance up at him and saw that he was looking straight ahead. His face was unreadable and she had no idea how to interpret what he may be thinking anymore. It infuriated and frustrated her to no end to know she didn't have the right to know him like that anymore.
"Is your wife going to be okay with you taking a night time stroll with your ex?" she tried to speak harshly but her words came out sounding more hurt than mean.
He chuckled softly and shook his head much to her annoyance.
"What?" she demanded.
"I don't have a wife," he shrugged lightly and smiled down at her.
Haley took a step back in slight shock. "Wait, but you told me that-"
"I told you a year ago that I was getting married," he finished for her and she nodded. "That doesn't mean we made it all the way down the aisle though."
"Couldn't make the plans happen that fast?" she assumed.
"Nah, I broke it off with her," he revealed and it was then that Haley noticed he was still holding her hand in his. She felt herself start to sweat a little despite the chill to the cool summer night.
"W-Why?" she asked curiously and winced as soon as the words left her mouth. She really didn't want to hear him talk about his ex-fiancée and yet the question left her before she could even process the thought.
"She wasn't the girl I wanted," he spoke truthfully and gazed at her honestly. "I think she was the first girl that wasn't just a basketball groupie throwing herself at me and I jumped at the opportunity to feel less lonely. It was never love or a relationship I could be in for the rest of my life. We were fooling ourselves thinking it would last. Especially when my heart was still very much with the girl that had come before her."
"Don't," she replied softly, brokenly.
"Why not? It's the truth!"
"You can't just say sweet things like that and expect everything to fall back in to place for us, Nathan. Life doesn't work that way."
"Why, Hales?" he questioned her. "We always said that we'd be together again someday."
"Someday ended when you called me from across the country and said you'd met someone else. It was shattered when you called again and said you were marrying another woman. You always told me someday and you also ended any chance we'd ever have at it," she explained to him sadly.
"I'm sorry, Haley. I meant it when I said that we would be together again someday. Loving each other was never the problem and you know it. We were both going to school on opposite ends of the country! We had different dreams and goals to accomplish before we'd be ready for each other. I got caught up in the meantime and I'm so sorry for the pain that must have caused you. I think someday is here now though. We're finished school and we've both had the chance to pursue our aspirations. You came back here for a reason, right?"
Haley looked up at him is disbelief, sure that this conversation was not taking place. He had definitely crossed her mind when she decided to come back to Tree Hill, but as far as she knew he was a happily married man and off limits. Maybe subconsciously she had hoped for the opposite though?
Still, his implications that their love wasn't the issue and someday was finally here unnerved her greatly. She had gone the last two years believing he was in love with someone else and now she was being told that was completely untrue. Could it be possible that he actually did love her? Or was he just trying to revert back to an old relationship to give him comfort for a few nights?
"Come on, Hales. Whaddya say?"
"Hmm?" she looked up at him again in surprise after being lost in her thoughts.
"Give us another shot," he spoke calmly and flashed a dazzling smile that had her knees going weak.
I used to think I was special
And only I have proved me wrong
I thought I could change the world with a song
But I have ended up in India
With no map to guide me home
The strangest place I think I have ever been
And all this time I thought that we were friends
My stubborn will is learning to bend
"It isn't that simple, Nathan."
"Yes it is," he countered easily with the smile still intact.
Haley sighed deeply and finally retracted her hand from his. She began pacing in small circles in front of him and couldn't be bothered that she was so obviously showing the frantic nerves running through her.
"This isn't high school! We can't just play games like this and pretend everything is okay. Things have changed. We've both grown up and I'm not the only girl you've ever been committed to anymore. How do I know you won't pull the same shit that you did with what's-her-face and call it off right when I think we've reached forever?"
"College obviously changed us both, Nathan. I'm not naïve anymore and I know the world is a shitty place that can't be made better no matter how much I try to make my contribution. You know, aside from producing, I also write songs for a living and sell the rights to other artists. I try to believe that the love song of the day I'm writing might have an impact on at least one person, somewhere in the world and I can help make it a better place. I was wrong though. The world is just as screwed up as it will always be."
"Well that's not a very happy outlook," he commented strangely and peered down at her.
"Yeah, well," she trailed and sighed deeply to give her a chance to catch her bearings and then began to chuckle.
"What?"
"Nothing. It's just, I'm home. Tree Hill has always been home. Yet, I feel like I'm on a completely different planet. It's nothing like the way I left it because the people I left behind have all grown and changed just like I have. I don't know how to navigate myself here anymore. It's strange."
"We've haven't changed that much. I know the way people feel about each other when it really matters hasn't changed. Love has stayed the same through it all, Hales."
"God Nathan! I can't, you can't," she stuttered in frustration trying to explain her emotions. She shouldn't have agreed to this walk with him, she knew it would only lead to rehashing their relationship.
They broke up because of the distance and how busy they would be – too busy to deal with a long distance relationship for four years. As hard as it was, they had put it to bed and although he had promised they'd find their way back to each other someday, she had effectively let go after a while.
They had been able to remain friendly with each other after that, at least until news of his new girlfriend broke. They did the whole civil thing and it hurt like hell but they made it work. It wasn't fair to take back all the heartache and work it had taken to let go and now proclaim they were still the same and meant for each other. They weren't the same and maybe their chance had already come and gone.
"You always were stubborn," he chucked lightly and she wondered in anger how he managed to be so calm and upbeat about the conversation. It was like he knew what the outcome would be already and was just waiting for her to cave.
His confidence had always driven her crazy and yet at the same time made her love him even more. It was clear to her that the man standing in front of her had the utmost faith in them being together. Should she just let go of her stubbornness for a minute?
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance
It's a big girl world now
Full of big girl things
And everyday I wish I was small
"We haven't been together in five years. How do we even know we still work together?" she questioned weakly.
"Because it's you and me, Haley. Everyone always went on about how we're meant to be. I don't think a little time a part has changed the fact that we'll always be destined to be together," he replied sincerely.
"You're still charming as ever, you know," she smiled wryly up at him and let her frustration ebb away for the first time.
"Oh, I know," he replied with his trademark smirk and took a step closer. "So does that mean you agree?"
"Agree to what?"
"Give us another chance? Whether you like it or not right now, we both know you and I are it for each other, Hales."
Haley laughed up at him. "Is that so?"
"Yup. Take this chance with me and I'll spend the rest of our lives together proving to you how perfect we are for each other, how perfect we've always been."
"Our entire lives, huh?"
"Every. Single. Day."
Haley was awed by the surety behind his words and the intensity from his eyes boring down into hers. She was positive she had never had such a surreal and intense encounter with anyone. She could see the love shining in his eyes and knew in that instant that she was a goner. No matter how hard she fought, Nathan Scott was not about to let her go again.
"This is scary," she commented softly and let the fear shine in her eyes.
Nathan nodded in agreement. "But as long as we're together, we can face anything."
"I'm starting to realize that," Haley replied and stepped so their chests were touching.
Nathan smiled at the movement and took it has an invitation to wrap his arms around her petite form. "I love you," he spoke matter-of-factly.
"God, I love you too," she whispered back and allowed him to swoop down and capture her lips in his.
They had spent five, long years apart. They had both grown up and although Haley was terrified at the rekindling of their relationship, it made the world feel a little less scary. She felt safe and protected in his arms like she always had as a carefree teenager. She had come to Tree Hill thinking it was home, when in reality Nathan's embrace was her true home. She had made her way back home, they were going to start things from scratch, and everything was right in her world.