Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

are proud to present

THE ANCIENT AND MOST SECRET CODE OF THE MARAUDING BRETHREN

as written by the legendary GODRIC GRYFFINDOR and rediscovered by the Publishers in the bowels of the HOGWARTS LIBRARY

with annotations and appendices by THE HOGWARTS MARAUDERS (the selfsame Messrs. MOONY, WORMTAIL, PADFOOT and PRONGS) themselves

and featuring

further annotations by Ms LILY EVANS

The Prankster's Bradshaw

in a new expanded and revised edition

Section one: The Ten Precepts

being a collection of the ten foundational rules of marauding

1. Never reveal everything you know.

2. Always, always improvise.

3. Don't hit on Lily Evans.

Shut it, Moony! – Prongs

This is actually pretty funny in hindsight – Lils

Yeah, Moony, I proved you wrong, didn't I? – Prongs

4. Sirius always lies. Always. Except for when he's telling the truth.

Very helpful, I'm sure – L.E.

Hang on, what's she doing with this? – Wormtail

Oh dear… didn't you notice, Peter? As I write this, this is the second time I've nicked your precious guidebook as a punishment for James and Sirius being mean to Sev. I'll return it when I've finished laughing at your egos. Oh, and by the way, 'Wormtail' is a bloody stupid nickname. – Lily the Almightily Invincible Prefect Whose Wrath Knows No Bounds.

I'll stop being mean to Snivellus if you go out with me, Evans – Prongs.

That's IT. This is my THIRD time taking this book, and having seen that comment, Potter, I'm keeping this for a fortnight. At least. And even you can't get into the girls' dorms. – L.E.

Melodramatic sigh… honestly Prongs, see Rule Three, you dolt. Oh, and Evans: challenge accepted. – Padfoot.

5. Never miss an opportunity to snark.

i) Corollary – always pass up on any and all opportunities to snark at McGonagall.

6. If they're in Slytherin, whatever you're planning to do to them is automatically morally right.

i) Corollary – that doesn't mean you should actually put them in genuine mortal danger, Padfoot.

7. Developing indispensable skills in legitimate areas of Hogwarts life is a useful way of maintaining a passable reputation among the staff while being an irrepressible prankster.

Like being the greatest Seeker Gryffindor has ever seen. No wonder they made me Head Boy! – Prongs

Bighead boy, more like. – Padfoot

8. Nobody likes a prank that picks on the weak and defenceless.

i) Corollary – Severus 'Snivellus' Snape may be small and weedy-looking, but he knows more curses than half the seventh-years and most of his friends are Death Eater material (not to mention the Indestructible Evans). He was, is, and always shall be an acceptable target, the little shit.

9. If after a moment's thought, it seems like a bad idea, discuss it with your friends and see if there's a way to make it a good idea.

10. There's always a better prank.