"Well you had better just hope to hell that you didn't bring anything else back," Regina growled dangerously.
Turning her back she fled the diner before anyone could stop her, not that anyone tried. When she got home she walk to the fire place where less than twenty four hours before she had thought she had a chance at happiness. She threw fireballs into it until she was totally spent, silent tears running down her face.
Then she looked around for anything that would remind her of him. The blanket that they had used for their little picnic was draped on the couch, but a flick of her wrist had the forest scented thing crackling in the fire. She was about to do the same to the little wooden train Roland had left on the table, but she couldn't. It wasn't his fault. White smoke enveloped the toy and a second later it materialized in the forest camp. With nothing else to release her anger on, she made her way up the stairs.
The minute she opened her bedroom door though, she knew it was a mistake. The whole room smelled like apples and forest. Slamming the door shut, she resisted the urge to vomit. How could she have already forgotten what their late night had led to? Her body was still aching from his gentle but thorough treatment.
She considered sleeping in Henry's room, it wasn't like he slept there these days, but she knew she didn't need another reminder of how alone she was. There was only one place that was safe. The one place where she knew she could let go of all the hurt that was radiating from her chest. Without another thought, she found herself in her vault. It was dusty and dank, but it would have to be enough.
With her last bit of strength, she conjured a sleeping bag. She was still kicking herself for wasting all that energy on fireballs as she lowered herself to the stone floor. Her heart slowed as she tried to find rest, but every time her eyes closed she saw them again, the happy family being reunited. The smile that lit Robin's eyes. The way that Roland's voice whispered mama.
She swallowed thickly, fighting tears that she refused to let fall again. Something had to be done, but as dark thoughts flooded her mind, she knew that she could not react as she had in the past. She cared for Robin in a way that she had never cared for anyone. She couldn't let the darkness in her heart hurt him.
Desperation began to fuel wild thoughts. Her mind flashed to the day she had split Snow's heart. If Snow could live with part of her heart, maybe Regina could too, after all her heart was the most resilient. The idea was so perfect that she jumped up from floor and began flipping through her spell book. She need to make sure that all her feelings for Robin, Roland, and even her anger at Marian and Emma would be in the part of her heart that she removed.
At last, she found what she was looking for and began to work on the potion. When it was ready she reached into her chest and tore out the treacherous organ with a little more force than necessary. It was redder than she remembered, but she couldn't think about that. She poured the potion on her heart, before collapsing on the dust floor.
As she came to she had the distinct feeling of being torn apart. It must have worked, she thought. Soon she was able to stand again. Her heart lay in the cooper bowl were she had left it, only now instead of red and black, the wretched thing was blue and purple. Grabbing with both hands, she pulled, splitting it right down the color divide.
The purple portion was put in a box, locked away, while the blue was returned to her chest. She felt a little empty, but it was worth it. The deep ache that had been with her for hours was gone. She tried to magic herself back home, but nothing happened. Choking it up to being tired, she decided to try to get some sleep.
The next morning she woke up late. Checking her watch, she decided that she should just magic herself to work. She closed her eyes and thought of her office, but nothing happened. When she opened her eyes she was still in the crypt. Confused, she tried something simple, conjuring an apple. But even as she imagine the juice taste and bright color, still nothing happened.
"Magic is fueled by emotion, dearie," came the distinct voice of Rumple.
"What are you doing here?" she growled. She was tired, dirty, and hungry, and the last thing she needed to deal with was Rumple and his mind games.
"Take away your emotions, and you take away your magic," he continued as if she hadn't spoken.
"With Zelena gone I won't need magic, and if I do, I know where to find it," she said, surprised by how easy it was to accept life without magic.
"Ah, but will it allow you to use it again, if you choose to lock it away?"
"I don't particularly care. Magic and that thing people call a heart have brought me nothing but pain. I am better off without them."
"If you say so…" The imp grinned, before popping back to where ever he came from.
"Could have at least popped me home," she grumbled, as she made her way up the stairs.
She was half way home with a blister the size of Jupiter, when Emma pulled up.
"Regina, where have you been? We looked all over for you," the blonde said, worry clear in her voice.
"Where I've been is none of your concern, Miss Swan. You can either give me a ride home, or leave me the heel alone. Honesty, I don't really care at this point."
"Are you okay? I mean, I know I really messed up with the whole bring back your boyfriend's dead wife and all, but is there anything I can do?" Emma asked, looking rather like kicked puppy in Regina's opinion.
"What you can do is not invade my personal life and give me a ride home, but clearly since that seems too complicated for you. I will be on my way," Regina said, stepping around the sheriff to continue toward her destination.
"Wait Regina, of course I can give you a ride. What were you doing this far out of town anyway?"
Regina raised an eyebrow, glaring hard at the savior.
"Never mind, none of my business. Just get in and I will have you home in two shakes."
When she finally got to the office an hour later, Henry was sitting at her desk.
"Mom!" he called tackling her in a tight hug. "Are you okay? I went by the house last night, but you weren't there. I was so worried. Emma, Hook and Charming were out half the night looking for you, but no one could find you and I was starting to worry that you had fallen through a portal or been kidnapped or something."
"I'm fine, Henry," she answered unwrapping the boys arms and moving around to sit at her desk. "I had something to do."
Henry looked at the woman who had raised him, and he knew that something was off. Outwardly, she looked as she always had, not a hair out of place, but something was missing. Her eyes were dull and her voice was lacking its trademark snap. As he stared at her, a terrible thought entered his mind.
"Mom, where is your heart?" he asked as calmly as her could.
"In my chest, Dear. Now, I know I worried you and I am sorry, but you are already late for school and I have a lot of work to do. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight and we can talk then?" she offered not even looking up from her paperwork.
"Can I see it?" he asked ignoring most of her reply.
"See what?"
"Your heart?"
Her eyes still on the paper in front of her, she pulled out her heart and put it on the table without even flinching.
"Why is it blue?"
"I suppose that's something you might learn if you were at school and not here asking me a million questions," she replied, finally looking up at him with a scowl.
"Are you going to put it back in?"
"Are you going to go to school?"
The boy nodded and his mother placed her heart back in its place. Not sure what else to say, Henry left the office and headed to school.
It wasn't until school was out that he was able to talk to anyone. He was sitting in a booth at Granny's when the story came out.
"It was blue?" Emma asked in disbelief.
"Like midnight blue," Henry insisted.
"But how can that be?"
"I was doing some research during lunch, but the only thing I could find was that blue blood means there is no oxygen, and that doesn't make any sense."
"Yeah, I don't think that is the problem. Maybe it has to do with magic, was there anything else you can remember?"
"It was just small and blue. She just left it there like it didn't even matter."
"What is small and blue and doesn't matter?" Robin asked coming up to their table. He had seen Henry and Emma in the window, and thought talking to them might be the best way to make sure that Regina was okay.
"Nothing you need to worry about, thief," Henry growled in a perfect imitation of his adoptive mother.
"If it has to do with Regina, I would beg to differ," the thief replied in a way that made it clear he had no intention of backing down.
"I think you lost the right to worry about my mother, when you ran off with your wife without a second glance," the boy fired back.
"I know you don't understand Henry, but please, I care about your mother very much. If something is wrong with her, I would do anything to help."
Henry glared at Robin for a moment, but the sincerity in the thief's eyes was undeniable.
"Her heart… her heart is blue. She was acting weird. So, I thought she had taken it out, but when I asked to see it she just ripped it out and threw it on the table, and it was just sitting there blue as could be."
"Blue?" Robin choked. Instantly he knew that something was very wrong. Only a few days ago, he had rescued her bright red heart from the clutched of her wicked sister. "Where was she when you last saw her?"
"I was waiting for her at her office this morning. She went missing last night after your big reunion," Henry answered his voice laced with sarcasm not fit for such a young boy.
Without another word, Robin was out the door and on his way to city hall. Regina's secretary had tried to stop him, but he brushed right past her.
"What have you done to your heart, Madam?" he demanded forgoing the usual niceties.
"Well hello Mr. Hood, I amuse you are here to finally work on getting a camping permit. Those can be acquired…"
"Cut it out, Regina. Your son told me what he saw," Robin interrupted.
"I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about, Sir. As I was saying…"
"Regina," he drew out her name with impatience.
"Mr. Hood, I do not appreciate your forwardness. It is Madam Mayor or Ms. Mills, if you please," she persisted, but he too notices that her voice lacked bite.
"You will tell me what I want to know!" Robin hollered hoping to draw a reaction.
"I can tell you where to get a camping permit, or I can call the sheriff and have you removed from this office," she answered calmly.
"What not going to try to choke the life out of me?" he taunted.
"Without magic that becomes a relatively difficult prospect," she shrugged as if it weren't worth the effort.
"Without magic?"
"Yes, the part of me that was magic is gone and trying to throttle you without it seems unwise and unwarranted."
"Why is your heart blue, Regina?" he asked this time barely above a whisper.
"I took out the part that cared," she answered because she couldn't make herself care whether he knew or not.
"You broke your heart?" he asked in horror.
She stared at him for a moment, surprised that he didn't know.
"I didn't break it," she insisted, "you did."
"How do you fix it?" he asked, trying not to dwell on her announcement, even as bile worked its way up his throat and dread rathered in his stomach.
"I can't, no magic," she replied waving her fingers as if to show that they were empty.
"But you kept it, right? You kept the other piece?"
"Of course, I just can't put them back together."
"What if you needed magic?"
"Emma has her power back and Rumple is free to protect the town."
"But what if we need you?"
"Then I suppose I could put the other half in. It is kind of purple, so I would bet that it has my magic," she answered thoughtfully.
"So, let's go get it," he said moving around the desk, taking her hand and pulling her toward the door.
"Why? I don't want it. There is no threat and I am happier without it. Why do you want to torture me?" she whined pulling her hand from his grasp, but he wouldn't have it and instead scooped the flailing woman into his arms.
"Tell me where it is," he demanded softly nuzzling her neck.
"It's in my vault at the cemetery, but please I don't want it."
"Just trust me," Robin whispered, putting in the car and heading to the cemetery. When they got to the gates he could almost hear it like a bird begging to be released from it's cage. He didn't have to ask which drawer. His hand found the box like it was being drawn by a magnet.
"May I have the other piece?" he asked holding glowing purple organ in his hand. He cringed when she tossed it to him, catching it with a sigh of relief. Once both pieces were in cupped in his, he did something he swore he would never do again. Focusing on his feelings for Regina, he pictured her heart knitting itself back together again and in a burst of white light the heart was whole again.
"You are magical?" she frowned.
"I have magic, but I choose not to use it. All magic..."
"Comes at a price, I know. And I suppose the price for my wielding magic is that I should live with a broken heart?"
"Well, I had hoped that you would let me love you, but if you cannot, I suppose we could be broken hearted together."
"But your wife..."
"My wife died long ago, but my true love is right in front of me."
Regina's mouth opened but no words came out. She had never been so shocked in all her life. He had chosen her. Even after all her abuse in the enchanted forest, even when he knew her past, he had chosen her.
"Shall we put this back where it belongs and then go ease your worried son's mind?" he asked, placing her heart gently in her hands.
"Henry," she gasped suddenly overcome with guilt at having frightened him.
"It will be alright, my love. He was just a little worried. Once he knows that you are feeling better he will be right as rain," he smiled reassuringly, lifting her hands and give her a little push.
With her heart back in place, Regina launched herself into Robin's arms, kissing him like it was her last chance. When lack of air became a problem she pulled back enough to look into his eyes.
"I love you," he whispered.
"And I love you," she grinned, finally feeling the pieces of her fractured heart starting to mend.
a/n: so I started this piece and then I remembered that Regina had feeling even without her heart because she felt with her soul, but for the sake of this fic, lets pretend that the potion binds her feelings to her heart, and i know she is a little OCC for a bit there but that is because she is without her heart. Also sidenote, I have this head cannon that Robin in fact can wield magic, but chooses not to, because in the tower he same he choose not to use the "easy way" magic to get over his fears. plus he has an enchanted bow and like never misses, so, you know... Magic... ok thanks. no flames please :(