The Fairy Tale Girl
By~ LadySiri
Disclaimer- Don't own anything 'cept the plot.
A/N- I posted this a while back and I just went and revised it.
Lily Evans was no normal girl. For one thing she was a witch. She was 15 years old and today she was taking the Hogwarts Express to start her 5th year at Hogwarts. For another thing she didn't look forward to the holidays. Since her parents were dead, she had to spend them with her mean and abusive sister, Petunia.
Lily was also very beautiful. She had bright, emerald green eyes. Her red hair was waist length and curly. But as beautiful as she was, she was never noticed. She had only one friend, but he was in Slytherin so they barely got to talk. Instead she talked to inanimate objects.
Lily's mind was full of fairy tale fantasies. Since she was the only Gryffindor girl in her year, she had a whole dorm room to herself. She had plastered the walls with drawings of fairy tales, writings, and bookcases. Most of the books were fairy tales, but there were also a lot of journals filled with her own stories. She wrote everything she ever thought in them. Most were about her prince coming and taking her away.
Lily was writing in another one of her journals when the compartment door opened. In stepped Severus Snape. Most people would be worried if he stepped into their compartment when they were alone, but Lily was not. She didn't even notice him until he took her journal away.
"Writing another story, Lily? What's it about?"
At he comment Lily started blushing a lot. She made a quick grab for the journal and succeeded in getting it back. "Oh, it's like all the rest. You know, with the prince coming and taking the girl away?"
"So if it's like all the others, why can't I see it? Is it something different?"
"Well, I guess I can tell you. But you got to swear not to tell anyone. I'm starting to like James, James Potter. I know he'll never notice me, so I started a book filled with my dreams of dating him. But Sev, you have got to promise not to tell anyone."
"Surely you know me better than that, Lil. I won't tell a soul."
Lily and Sev continued talking for the rest of the train ride. They arrived at the station and took one of the carriages to the school. Inside the Entrance Hall they parted ways and went to their respectful tables. Lily watched the sorting intently and ate a lot at the feast.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Before Lily knew it, it was November. In two weeks time she would be sixteen. But she didn't care. The only person who took notice of her birthday was Sev. Lily spent the days up to November fifteenth in the library. She was a prefect that year and needed to keep up with her studies while disciplining the children.
November fifteenth that year was a Saturday. So after eating a hurried breakfast, Lily made her way to the library. Just as she expected, Severus was there. He was at their usual table waiting patiently for her.
"Good morning, Lily. I believe today is your birthday."
Severus pulled a medium sized box from behind his back and gave it to Lily. Lily took it and carefully took off the wrapping.
"Geez. If I would have known you'd care about the wrapping so much I would have given you the whole roll."
"Sorry. I just want to be careful."
When Lily finally got all the wrapping paper off, she opened the box lid. Inside there were a pair of dark green dress robes and a ring. The ring had a snake and a lily on it.
"Oh my gosh! They are so beautiful! But why did you get these for me? A formal event isn't coming up, right?"
"Lily, don't you read the bulletin board notices? Over Christmas break a masquerade is being held. I knew you had no dress robes, so I figured I'd get you a pair. You can make your own mask."
"There is? How long? When? Thank-you!" Then Lily got up and hugged him.
"Lils, you're choking me!"
"Opps! Sorry."
"There really is a masquerade. It's all Christmas vacation, the 16th- 31st, from 7-12. At midnight on the last day you're supposed to take your mask off."
"Wow! That's so cool! But Sev, won't you recognize me."
"No. I know a few girls who have robes about the same color as these ones. Besides, you'll have on the mask you made."
"Okay."
Little did Lily know that those robes were a part of Sev's plans to get her and James together. If you got to know Sev -and not judge him, just because he was in Slytherin- he was really nice. He was glad to have Lily as a friend, so he was doing everything in his power to get her and James together.
Lily and Sev stayed in the library for the whole day. They left for 20 minutes just to get some lunch. When 6 o'clock came, they left to bring their books to their dorms. They met back at the library and walked down to dinner together.
They split apart and left for their different tables. Lily sat in her usual seat, furthest away from everyone. While she was eating she pulled out one of her favorite books, Fellowship of the Ring. It was one of the best books she owned.
When she was just about to leave, someone sat down next to her. She didn't feel like talking, so she tried to leave. But the person grabbed her arm and forced her to sit down again.
"Are you new here? I don't remember seeing you."
"I've been here for the past 5 years. Now let me go before I have to hurt you!"
"Woah! Calm down! If you've been here for 5 years, why haven't I seen you?"
"Because you're the 'Oh so popular and perfect' James Potter, who is just a big blind jerk! I told you to let me go, but since you haven't I'm gonna pull through on my promise and hurt you!"
Lily took her free arm and punched James in the stomach. It was surprisingly hard considering her size. James, taken by surprise, let go of Lily's arm. She took the opportunity to run. She had gotten up to the second floor when she ran into someone.
Lily fell backward and looked up. Her vision was blurred because of her tears. She wiped them away and looked up. The other person had been much luckier and didn't fall. It took her a minute to recognize who it was. It was one of the last people she wanted to see, Remus Lupin, a best friend of James.
"You okay?"
Lily, surprisingly cold, answered him back. "What do you think?"
"Well judging by the fact that you've just fallen and you're crying, I'd say no. But why are you crying?"
"Oh, let's see. Your friend, James, managed to cut off the circulation from my arm for 5 minutes, I punched him and will probably get in big trouble, and I just told you what happened. And judging by the fact that you're one of his best friends, you're gonna hurt me. Aren't you?"
"No. It must have been something pretty stupid that James did for you to punch him and I think he needed it. His ego has been becoming way too big these days. It's almost the size of the USSR. Could you tell me the whole story? And what's your name?"
"I'll tell you the story, but let's go in one of these classrooms. I don't like talking in the hallway looking like trash. And my name is Lily, Lily Evans." Remus and Lily went into an empty classroom and talked. She told him the whole story, and they talked about other things. But Lily did notice that when she finished the story, Remus had a look of surprise and anger on his face. When 9 came around Lily started to leave.
"Lil, where you heading to?"
"My room. It's getting late and I still have to write something."
"Okay. I'll walk you up. That's where I was heading in the first place."
Lily and Remus talked the whole way up to the Gryffindor tower. When they got there, they found James lying on a couch with ice over his stomach. Hoping to sneak up to her room without James noticing she started walking up the stairs to the girls' dorms. But Remus got her and dragged her over to James.
"James, I believe you met Lily?"
"Yeah I remember you. What right did you have punching me in the stomach?"
"Just the same right you had cutting off circulation in my arm! Goodnight, Remus. And make sure Potter's ego doesn't go to space again."
"Okay. 'Night, Lils."
'Gods, she is one cute girl!'
'Wait! Who said that?!'
'You did, James. I'm just your subconscience.'
'Well shut up! That girl is a pain in the arse! There's no way in hell she's cute!'
'First off, I can't shut up, as I am you. And second she's cute and you know it.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
Everyone had the day before the Masquerade off. Lily spent the whole day in her dorm making a mask. She had first conjured up 5 full mask and 5 half masks. She carefully decorated each one in different ways. Then she put on her dress robes. She put each mask up to her face and looked in her mirror.
She picked the last one. She liked it the most and it went the best with her robes and the ring. The mask covered half her face, and was silver, outlined in gold. There were two small holes so she could see, but they weren't big enough that someone could see her eyes. Around the eyes was a pattern of lions, snakes, and lilies. The rest of the mask was plain.
After writing a new story in her journal, she went to bed. The next morning instead of getting up at her normal time of 7, she slept till noon. That was explained by the fact that she had been up till about 4 in the morning trying to finish the story. She got up and dressed in her school robes. She went down to the Great Hall to eat some lunch and spotted Sev waiting for her in the Entrance hall.
"Hey, Sev. You ready for the ball tonight?"
"Yep. And I'm guessing you are too, right?"
"Well, I do have to eat a quick lunch so I can figure out what to do with my hair. I'm the only girl with hair as bright as this. Plus I need a hairstyle and make-up. I hope I can dance with you tonight."
Lily looked up and saw Sev wiping a fake tear from his eye. "My little girl is growing up. It's so sad *sob, sob*."
"It might do you good to grow up too."
Lily starting running so Sev couldn't get her. She had made it into her seat before he could get her, she was safe, or so she thought. Sev had a look of defeat on his face and Lily began eating her lunch peacefully. But then she started laughing and laughing and she couldn't stop.
Sev had got her bad. He had aimed a tickling charm right at her and at the moment she was on the floor, crying from laughing so hard. After a few minutes he took it off her and she got in her seat. After eating a hurried lunch she went back to her room and looked through all her muggle magazines.
She had lied to Sev about changing her hair color. She liked it how it was. Plus she overheard a few girls saying they were gonna charm their hair to be red too. Finally she found the perfect hairstyle. Now all she needed was make up. She conjured up everything she knew she would need and in the colors that would match.
Six hours later, Lily was finally ready. She had almost all her hair up, except in the front. The front was curled around her face and made her look stunning. The back was pulled back and braided into many tiny braids. On her nails were lilies that moved back and forth on a green background. She had on very little make up. There was only a very small amount of red lip-gloss on her lips.
She went down to the Great Hall. The doors had just opened and few of tables were full. She chose one in the corner that no one else was at. A few minutes later a man dressed in blue robes with a sliver and green mask on came to sit with her.
"Good evening, Lily. I must say you look absolutely gorgeous.'
"Sev, how did you know it was me?"
"Oh I have my ways."
"Well don't tell anyone who I am."
"I won't. I won't"
The rest of the night went uneventful. When midnight came Lily left for her dorm. The next day she didn't want to stay inside so she went to sit by the lake. An hour later she was signing a fairy tale song when she heard someone come down and sit by her. Little did she know it was James Potter. He had known he would find a beautiful girl out here because Sirius (it was Severus but he didn't know that) told him that she would be.
"What are you doing here?" asked Lily.
"I don't like balls that much.'
"Ok." Lily turned and faced the stranger. Somehow she felt she knew him, but she knew it wasn't Sev.
"Wow! You look beautiful!"
"Thanks. So you want to talk?"
Lily and the stranger talked for the rest of the night. She talked about fairy tales and he talked about Quidditch. They spent all the nights of the masquerade like that. On the last night at 11:50, Lily suggested they go in for the last dance. They walked in the Great Hall just as the music started playing. They stepped onto the dance floor and danced the slow song together. Lily had never had so much fun in her life. She felt like she had known the man forever, although she had no clue who he was.
At midnight she took off her mask just when he did. She almost fainted in surprise, it was James Potter. She had spent 15 nights with him. It was a dream come true for her. It was also a dream come true for James. Ever since he had met Lily on her birthday, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He did the only thing he could think of and kissed her. She was a little reluctant at first but then she kissed him back.
In the corner of the room Sev watched his best friend as she got what she always wanted. He felt so good and left quietly. He would be able to talk to her about it tomorrow.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lily and James stated together for the rest of their lives. Lily had made many friends in the process. She had met Sirius Black and he and Remus were like brothers to her. Sirius was the best man at the wedding and Remus; well he really didn't have a job, he was just happy to be there with his friends.
Remus was really happy because a few weeks later James and Lily got together, he told Lily that he was a werewolf and that James, Sirius, and some other kid -Peter was his name- were animagus. Lily had never really been a friend with Peter because she just sensed something evil from him.
Sirius was named Harry Potter's, the second Potter child, godfather. He was going to be Elizabeth's godfather but she had died a day after being born. Remus would have to wait for the 3rd child to be a godfather.
But there was never a 3rd child. Lily and James had been murdered by Lord Voldermort. Lily had been a few months pregnant before she died. Harry wouldn't know that until he was older and his godfather free. But until then Harry will never know his full history.
Severus on the other hand knew even more that Sirius and Remus. He had always been there for Lily and she told him everything. He felt a strong bond towards Harry and knew it was because of his friendship with Lily. He felt responsible for her death. He had known Peter was a Death Eater, but never told them.
He would never fully recover from losing Lily because she was a little sister to him. He felt that he could never befriend another person in his life because he would kill them. I think this explains our Potions professor better.
By~ LadySiri
Disclaimer- Don't own anything 'cept the plot.
A/N- I posted this a while back and I just went and revised it.
Lily Evans was no normal girl. For one thing she was a witch. She was 15 years old and today she was taking the Hogwarts Express to start her 5th year at Hogwarts. For another thing she didn't look forward to the holidays. Since her parents were dead, she had to spend them with her mean and abusive sister, Petunia.
Lily was also very beautiful. She had bright, emerald green eyes. Her red hair was waist length and curly. But as beautiful as she was, she was never noticed. She had only one friend, but he was in Slytherin so they barely got to talk. Instead she talked to inanimate objects.
Lily's mind was full of fairy tale fantasies. Since she was the only Gryffindor girl in her year, she had a whole dorm room to herself. She had plastered the walls with drawings of fairy tales, writings, and bookcases. Most of the books were fairy tales, but there were also a lot of journals filled with her own stories. She wrote everything she ever thought in them. Most were about her prince coming and taking her away.
Lily was writing in another one of her journals when the compartment door opened. In stepped Severus Snape. Most people would be worried if he stepped into their compartment when they were alone, but Lily was not. She didn't even notice him until he took her journal away.
"Writing another story, Lily? What's it about?"
At he comment Lily started blushing a lot. She made a quick grab for the journal and succeeded in getting it back. "Oh, it's like all the rest. You know, with the prince coming and taking the girl away?"
"So if it's like all the others, why can't I see it? Is it something different?"
"Well, I guess I can tell you. But you got to swear not to tell anyone. I'm starting to like James, James Potter. I know he'll never notice me, so I started a book filled with my dreams of dating him. But Sev, you have got to promise not to tell anyone."
"Surely you know me better than that, Lil. I won't tell a soul."
Lily and Sev continued talking for the rest of the train ride. They arrived at the station and took one of the carriages to the school. Inside the Entrance Hall they parted ways and went to their respectful tables. Lily watched the sorting intently and ate a lot at the feast.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Before Lily knew it, it was November. In two weeks time she would be sixteen. But she didn't care. The only person who took notice of her birthday was Sev. Lily spent the days up to November fifteenth in the library. She was a prefect that year and needed to keep up with her studies while disciplining the children.
November fifteenth that year was a Saturday. So after eating a hurried breakfast, Lily made her way to the library. Just as she expected, Severus was there. He was at their usual table waiting patiently for her.
"Good morning, Lily. I believe today is your birthday."
Severus pulled a medium sized box from behind his back and gave it to Lily. Lily took it and carefully took off the wrapping.
"Geez. If I would have known you'd care about the wrapping so much I would have given you the whole roll."
"Sorry. I just want to be careful."
When Lily finally got all the wrapping paper off, she opened the box lid. Inside there were a pair of dark green dress robes and a ring. The ring had a snake and a lily on it.
"Oh my gosh! They are so beautiful! But why did you get these for me? A formal event isn't coming up, right?"
"Lily, don't you read the bulletin board notices? Over Christmas break a masquerade is being held. I knew you had no dress robes, so I figured I'd get you a pair. You can make your own mask."
"There is? How long? When? Thank-you!" Then Lily got up and hugged him.
"Lils, you're choking me!"
"Opps! Sorry."
"There really is a masquerade. It's all Christmas vacation, the 16th- 31st, from 7-12. At midnight on the last day you're supposed to take your mask off."
"Wow! That's so cool! But Sev, won't you recognize me."
"No. I know a few girls who have robes about the same color as these ones. Besides, you'll have on the mask you made."
"Okay."
Little did Lily know that those robes were a part of Sev's plans to get her and James together. If you got to know Sev -and not judge him, just because he was in Slytherin- he was really nice. He was glad to have Lily as a friend, so he was doing everything in his power to get her and James together.
Lily and Sev stayed in the library for the whole day. They left for 20 minutes just to get some lunch. When 6 o'clock came, they left to bring their books to their dorms. They met back at the library and walked down to dinner together.
They split apart and left for their different tables. Lily sat in her usual seat, furthest away from everyone. While she was eating she pulled out one of her favorite books, Fellowship of the Ring. It was one of the best books she owned.
When she was just about to leave, someone sat down next to her. She didn't feel like talking, so she tried to leave. But the person grabbed her arm and forced her to sit down again.
"Are you new here? I don't remember seeing you."
"I've been here for the past 5 years. Now let me go before I have to hurt you!"
"Woah! Calm down! If you've been here for 5 years, why haven't I seen you?"
"Because you're the 'Oh so popular and perfect' James Potter, who is just a big blind jerk! I told you to let me go, but since you haven't I'm gonna pull through on my promise and hurt you!"
Lily took her free arm and punched James in the stomach. It was surprisingly hard considering her size. James, taken by surprise, let go of Lily's arm. She took the opportunity to run. She had gotten up to the second floor when she ran into someone.
Lily fell backward and looked up. Her vision was blurred because of her tears. She wiped them away and looked up. The other person had been much luckier and didn't fall. It took her a minute to recognize who it was. It was one of the last people she wanted to see, Remus Lupin, a best friend of James.
"You okay?"
Lily, surprisingly cold, answered him back. "What do you think?"
"Well judging by the fact that you've just fallen and you're crying, I'd say no. But why are you crying?"
"Oh, let's see. Your friend, James, managed to cut off the circulation from my arm for 5 minutes, I punched him and will probably get in big trouble, and I just told you what happened. And judging by the fact that you're one of his best friends, you're gonna hurt me. Aren't you?"
"No. It must have been something pretty stupid that James did for you to punch him and I think he needed it. His ego has been becoming way too big these days. It's almost the size of the USSR. Could you tell me the whole story? And what's your name?"
"I'll tell you the story, but let's go in one of these classrooms. I don't like talking in the hallway looking like trash. And my name is Lily, Lily Evans." Remus and Lily went into an empty classroom and talked. She told him the whole story, and they talked about other things. But Lily did notice that when she finished the story, Remus had a look of surprise and anger on his face. When 9 came around Lily started to leave.
"Lil, where you heading to?"
"My room. It's getting late and I still have to write something."
"Okay. I'll walk you up. That's where I was heading in the first place."
Lily and Remus talked the whole way up to the Gryffindor tower. When they got there, they found James lying on a couch with ice over his stomach. Hoping to sneak up to her room without James noticing she started walking up the stairs to the girls' dorms. But Remus got her and dragged her over to James.
"James, I believe you met Lily?"
"Yeah I remember you. What right did you have punching me in the stomach?"
"Just the same right you had cutting off circulation in my arm! Goodnight, Remus. And make sure Potter's ego doesn't go to space again."
"Okay. 'Night, Lils."
'Gods, she is one cute girl!'
'Wait! Who said that?!'
'You did, James. I'm just your subconscience.'
'Well shut up! That girl is a pain in the arse! There's no way in hell she's cute!'
'First off, I can't shut up, as I am you. And second she's cute and you know it.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
Everyone had the day before the Masquerade off. Lily spent the whole day in her dorm making a mask. She had first conjured up 5 full mask and 5 half masks. She carefully decorated each one in different ways. Then she put on her dress robes. She put each mask up to her face and looked in her mirror.
She picked the last one. She liked it the most and it went the best with her robes and the ring. The mask covered half her face, and was silver, outlined in gold. There were two small holes so she could see, but they weren't big enough that someone could see her eyes. Around the eyes was a pattern of lions, snakes, and lilies. The rest of the mask was plain.
After writing a new story in her journal, she went to bed. The next morning instead of getting up at her normal time of 7, she slept till noon. That was explained by the fact that she had been up till about 4 in the morning trying to finish the story. She got up and dressed in her school robes. She went down to the Great Hall to eat some lunch and spotted Sev waiting for her in the Entrance hall.
"Hey, Sev. You ready for the ball tonight?"
"Yep. And I'm guessing you are too, right?"
"Well, I do have to eat a quick lunch so I can figure out what to do with my hair. I'm the only girl with hair as bright as this. Plus I need a hairstyle and make-up. I hope I can dance with you tonight."
Lily looked up and saw Sev wiping a fake tear from his eye. "My little girl is growing up. It's so sad *sob, sob*."
"It might do you good to grow up too."
Lily starting running so Sev couldn't get her. She had made it into her seat before he could get her, she was safe, or so she thought. Sev had a look of defeat on his face and Lily began eating her lunch peacefully. But then she started laughing and laughing and she couldn't stop.
Sev had got her bad. He had aimed a tickling charm right at her and at the moment she was on the floor, crying from laughing so hard. After a few minutes he took it off her and she got in her seat. After eating a hurried lunch she went back to her room and looked through all her muggle magazines.
She had lied to Sev about changing her hair color. She liked it how it was. Plus she overheard a few girls saying they were gonna charm their hair to be red too. Finally she found the perfect hairstyle. Now all she needed was make up. She conjured up everything she knew she would need and in the colors that would match.
Six hours later, Lily was finally ready. She had almost all her hair up, except in the front. The front was curled around her face and made her look stunning. The back was pulled back and braided into many tiny braids. On her nails were lilies that moved back and forth on a green background. She had on very little make up. There was only a very small amount of red lip-gloss on her lips.
She went down to the Great Hall. The doors had just opened and few of tables were full. She chose one in the corner that no one else was at. A few minutes later a man dressed in blue robes with a sliver and green mask on came to sit with her.
"Good evening, Lily. I must say you look absolutely gorgeous.'
"Sev, how did you know it was me?"
"Oh I have my ways."
"Well don't tell anyone who I am."
"I won't. I won't"
The rest of the night went uneventful. When midnight came Lily left for her dorm. The next day she didn't want to stay inside so she went to sit by the lake. An hour later she was signing a fairy tale song when she heard someone come down and sit by her. Little did she know it was James Potter. He had known he would find a beautiful girl out here because Sirius (it was Severus but he didn't know that) told him that she would be.
"What are you doing here?" asked Lily.
"I don't like balls that much.'
"Ok." Lily turned and faced the stranger. Somehow she felt she knew him, but she knew it wasn't Sev.
"Wow! You look beautiful!"
"Thanks. So you want to talk?"
Lily and the stranger talked for the rest of the night. She talked about fairy tales and he talked about Quidditch. They spent all the nights of the masquerade like that. On the last night at 11:50, Lily suggested they go in for the last dance. They walked in the Great Hall just as the music started playing. They stepped onto the dance floor and danced the slow song together. Lily had never had so much fun in her life. She felt like she had known the man forever, although she had no clue who he was.
At midnight she took off her mask just when he did. She almost fainted in surprise, it was James Potter. She had spent 15 nights with him. It was a dream come true for her. It was also a dream come true for James. Ever since he had met Lily on her birthday, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He did the only thing he could think of and kissed her. She was a little reluctant at first but then she kissed him back.
In the corner of the room Sev watched his best friend as she got what she always wanted. He felt so good and left quietly. He would be able to talk to her about it tomorrow.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lily and James stated together for the rest of their lives. Lily had made many friends in the process. She had met Sirius Black and he and Remus were like brothers to her. Sirius was the best man at the wedding and Remus; well he really didn't have a job, he was just happy to be there with his friends.
Remus was really happy because a few weeks later James and Lily got together, he told Lily that he was a werewolf and that James, Sirius, and some other kid -Peter was his name- were animagus. Lily had never really been a friend with Peter because she just sensed something evil from him.
Sirius was named Harry Potter's, the second Potter child, godfather. He was going to be Elizabeth's godfather but she had died a day after being born. Remus would have to wait for the 3rd child to be a godfather.
But there was never a 3rd child. Lily and James had been murdered by Lord Voldermort. Lily had been a few months pregnant before she died. Harry wouldn't know that until he was older and his godfather free. But until then Harry will never know his full history.
Severus on the other hand knew even more that Sirius and Remus. He had always been there for Lily and she told him everything. He felt a strong bond towards Harry and knew it was because of his friendship with Lily. He felt responsible for her death. He had known Peter was a Death Eater, but never told them.
He would never fully recover from losing Lily because she was a little sister to him. He felt that he could never befriend another person in his life because he would kill them. I think this explains our Potions professor better.