Authors Note

Alright, this is my first attempt at writing in Nolan's world so do be patient with me I will give you my best. The first time I posted this chapter I made a mistake and used the version of the Joker I am used too writing with, I fixed that problem thanks to one of my reviews. Without farther delay or idiotic mistakes on my part I hope you enjoy this warped little love story. Crane is portrayed by the wonderful Cillian Murphy and Harley by Brittney Murphy

Chapter One- Of men who talk in the dark

A small gasp escaped the pert mouth of a mortified Harley Quinn as her crystal blue eyes rested on the figure that had just filled the doorway of her apartment in the dead of night. Shaking frantically her ivory hand trembled around the door knob as her dear friend fell to his knees at her feet. Warm crimson pooled around him staining the floor as his rough hands gripped her hips as if to keep from falling backwards "Harley" his voice was a rasp, not the charismatic charming husk she had grown so used to.

WIth every fiber of her entire being she willed herself not to scream "Jonathan" she swallowed the knot in her throat as rested a hand on the back of his head which was still covered by a burlap mask "What happened to you?" Without another word he pushed her backwards, causing the leggy blonde to stumble a bit as he crawled into her apartment on his hands and knees, thrusting his foot backwards he kicked the door shut and collapsed on the white carpet.

Harley dropped to her knees and moved to curl her fingers beneath the hem of his mask "Johnny this can't be at all comfortable or easy ta' breathe in" her brooklyn accent flowed through full lips. The master of fear snatched the girls hand up before she could pull his mask off "I need you to do me a favor, Harley" was all he said huskily "Call that clown of yours up...tell him to come down here...now"

"Gee Johnny" Harley said carefully "Mistah J and I are kinda' fightin'" she rubbed her arm nervously as she stared down at him concerned as he rolled over on his back very slowly.

"He owes me...just tell him to come down here...tell him I need that favor now...tell him to bring some peroxide and a needle with a spool of thread…"

Slowly the blonde stood up and sauntered off into the kitchen. "Oh Mistah J's gonna kill me for this" was all she muttered under her breath when she glanced at the clock….12:47 am. Crossing the cold tile floor on her bare feet Harley snatched the wireless phone up off the counter and dialed her lovers number biting her lower lip hard. Each ring sounded like a siren going off in her head before his voice finally made her jump in place "What?" he snapped loudly in her ear.

"M...Mistah J" whimpered the blonde as she switched her weight to her other leg "Um...J..Johnny is here and he"

"Why is he with you right now, little girl?" Her puddin's usually lose tone tightened as if something had closed up inside of his throat. Harley struggled to find words only a small whimper ever made it past full trembling lips. "Harley" The Joker warned in a tone so clear that the blonde could picture his coal black eyes going obsidian in her head. It was such a vivid image it was as if he were towering over her, the corners of his mouth turned down with distaste contradicting with the morbid smile his scars created on perfect grease paint covered cheeks. "Oooh Harley, puuuuumpkin? Are you there…." the pitch in his voice told her her was growing impatient. Her puddin was not a patient man. Thats why he never had a plan. He needed things to go quickly and catastrophically. A plan was to organized and it took too long. Just like she was taking too long to answer him now.

"I'm going to be honest here, Harley...You're beginning to bug me...now speak up...you know how daddy hates the mumbling...and the waaaiting" she was going on her final warning and the beat of her heart matched the rate her fingers tapped rapidly against the counter top as she tried to find the words. In the back of her head she knew if another man were demanding this of her she'd sing like a canary but...Mistah J was a different story. Harley chewed on her lower lip until the taste of iron spilled over her tongue.

"Last chance Harley, Daddys getting….angry….you know how I feel about...men being around what's mine….now tell me baby girl" his tone was low...irritated..dangerous and she knew his eyes were blacker than night just from the sound of it. He started out very slowly as if she were a child that did not understand something "Who is in charge here?"

Harley knew that answer, she'd learned to pipe up to that question the moment it was asked over time "You are da..daddy but listen he's" tears filled her eyes as she tried to explain only to be cut off but her non too happy lover once again.

Mistah J chimed in subtly but clearly "Very good...thats my girl...my pretty little...Harley-girl...my doll...now because I happen to know for sure...thhaaat" he dragged out the 'A' sound causing Harley too chew her lip even harder. She knew she was in trouble shifting around so she was sitting on the countertop with her feet hanging off she listened as her Puddin said "my girl is a one man loon….tell me Harley...what's my baby wearing? Tell daddy that….and be quick about it…" the severe darkness that marred his tone was enough to tell her to speak up now.

"Skinny jeans and one of your button downs, P..Puddin" the girl rasped.

His tone calmed a bit, he was just a little more pleased still not happy "Good girl now about Crane...put him out...now…:

"He's hurt real bad Mistah J" Harley chimed in loudly.

"I'm going to hurt him when I get there Harley" the Joker husked just as Harley began to fear for her friend a strong hand gripped the phone pulling it from the blonde's ear. Jonathan set the phone down on the counter beside Harley as she kicked her legs back and forth slowly. Her full lips parted slightly "Johnny" her voice was gentle. The master of fear leaned his weight on the countertop, throwing a strong arm around Harley's waist he laid his cheek against her shoulder. Blood dripped from his fingers as they glided over her phone pressing the button to turn it too speakerphone as his free arm came to rest on the marble counter.

"Heh" he laughed through his mask "You're gonna hurt me, Puddin'" teased the scarecrow, voice threatening "You owe me a favor, Clown and if I recall correctly you claim to be a man of your word"

"Did I say that? I guess I did….what do you need...Crane?" The Joker sounded irritable but at least now that Johnny was the one doing the talking he didn't sound so mad. Harley tipped her head back, pigtails falling behind her as she reflected on the fact that her puddin had been doing some business with Jonathan for the past few months.

Jonathan's smooth voice rolled off his tongue sexily "I got into a bit of a dispute...now if you would be ever so kind as too hurry up and get here with some medical supplies...I might keep my hands off lil miss quinn here" Harley searched for the hint of insincerity on that last part but to her astonishment could not find it.

A low predatory growl escaped from the Joker's throat "Don't...I'll be there in a bit. Be lucky if I'm feeling gracious enough not to shoot you in the head, Crane" and with that the Joker hung up and an annoying dial tone filled the air.

Harley's delicate finger pressed the end button. Jonathan moved too stand himself up glancing at Harley through the eyes of his mask. The beauteous blonde rushed to get an arm around Jonathan "You really shouldn't provoke him, Johnny"

"Daring, I can provoke him as much as I like for the next two months, He needs my fear toxin for his latest scheme and he can't get ahold of it without me" Jonathan's raspy voice was almost relaxed as Harley guided him back into her bedroom so he could lay down comfortably on her bed.

"Mistah J would go into one of your labs and shoot the place up, believe me he'd find a way to make it without ya" Harley warned as Jonathan laid back on her bed.

"Yet some how, miss Quinn, he can't make it without you" Jonathan said slowly staring at her through the tattered eyes of his mask. Deep blue met her crystal orbs. Jonathan's eyes were marvelous radiant blue and like gravity they held her drawn to him. Harley had always loved his eyes but she would always be faithful to her Mistah J.

"Whatcha mean? He's fine without me" Harley crossed her arms over her chest and tipped her head too the side "Thats why he's always kickin' me out"

Jonathan only chuckled "The mans a wreck without you, kid. But I mean what would I know I only watch almost everyone of his plans go wrong when you aren't around….he keeps you because he needs you...uses you….and it's sad too because….you are a truly beautiful woman Harleen"

Harley felt a shiver run up her spine "You're inhaling too much of your own drug, Doc"

His laughter started in soft and then grew tremendously "Maybe"

The sound of a revolver going off made the little clown princess jump "And...that would be Mistah J at the door...I'll be back" Four bullet holes marred her door causing her to frown in distaste when she opened it "I have a doorbell ya know"

The Joker gripped her by the left pigtail and pulled her into a bruising kiss 'Where is the bird repellent?"

"Johnnys back in the bedroom" Harley explained slowly gaging his reaction. Her puddin's face fell sullen "Oh he's in your room is he?" Before Harley could open her mouth to explain the Joker's gloved hand flew across her pretty face. The sound reverberated throughout the entire room. Tears slid down her ivory cheeks as the slender blond flew across the floor. Rolling over trying not too show her lover her tears Harley found herself whimpering when she finally started to pick herself back up "M..Mistah J"

"We will discuss this…. later" hissed the clown prince as he sauntered down the hall way back toward Harley's bedroom. Harley's lower lip quivered. Her insides ached. Lifting her hand to her heart she felt the rate rise and drop as strangled sobs erupted from the back of her throat. It was always like this...always...he would hit her than walk away from her...sure he would apologize in the end but it was getting to be painful. She thought back on a time when she told Red "Gee after living with Mistah J you'd think I'd be used too a little pain"

Harley stiffened up her lower lip...should anyone ever be used to pain? Picking herself up Harley made her way to the doorway of her bedroom. Through her closed bedroom door she could hear stirs of voices. Her puddin's and the scarecrows. Careful not to make much noise she opened the door. Blue eyes searched the little bedroom, peering in just slightly she was surprised to find that no one was dead and The Joker was in fact tending to Jonathan's wounds. Jonathan now sat up shirtless on the side of the bed, wearing black slacks and his mask only. Joker with the most irritated expression possible stitched up his deep fresh wounds. Wow...was all she could think...Mistah J must really owe Johnny big time. Her puddin's face relaxed "You put on quite a show for her, didn't you? Hahaa…" his frantic laughter pierced her ears "Honestly I can't imagine what use you'll have for her...Johnny-boy"

"That is my business, Joker" Muttered the master of fear as he tipped his head back.

"Anyway, thanks for making this little deal, Johnny-boy, it's been loads of fun" The Joker snickered as he finished stitching up the last of the scarecrows wounds.

Harley's blue eyes went wide as saucers as her hand flew up over her mouth to suppress the want too gasp. Jonathan's face was completely unreadable behind his mask but his voice was relaxed "It's well worth it, an unlimited supply of fear toxin for Harley...I can't help but feel I'm getting the better end of the deal, old friend"

Authors Note

Oh my! What can ensue from this little situation? How will Harley handle being sold off by the man she loves most? Just wanna say I do love Harley and Jonathan together but it doesn't mean I love the Joker any less, he and Harley will always be my favorite couple. Please review, I do like to know what you think. I will try to update as often as possible my lovelies. I know the description sucked so thank you for taking time to read it.