"You know, Remus, you're like my gay friend." Tonks said, gliding into the room and sitting down opposite Remus, who was reading a book. His head shot up and his eyes were widened in suprise.
"Er, Nymphadora, I'm not gay."
"Right...I know you're not, doll. It's a Muggle thing -- gay men are supposedly the best friends a girl can have. They tell you things like what pants make your bum look odd and remind you when you skivvy from your diet. And you can to them about girly things like men and such."
"I've never done any of that."
"I know, I figured that out mid-way through what I was saying," she said, smirking, and rolled her eyes, "Anyway."
"Would you like me to listen to you talk about men, then?"
"It'd be like talking to Sirius about men! He gets all territorial and says things like 'Andromeda's baby' and 'watch yourself' and its like talking to Dad, only worse!"
"Here's a sentence I never thought I'd say, but I promise I won't act like Sirius."
"Oh it doesn't make any bit of a difference because there are no men in my life!" Tonks sighed dramatically, sinking into the aged armchair.
"Sure there are. There's me, and Snape of course, Mundungus --"
"No! Not men like that,"
"I figured you weren't talking about things like that. But Nymphadora, you are only 20. Perhaps you--"
"You promised!"
"Well, what about Kingsley? You two seem to be pretty amicable -- er, except for the bickering."
"King?! I've known him since my school days, hung out with him cos he was in my house and year. He didn't take a liking to me and I didn't like him much either, but Bill stuck us together and so the three of us formed our right odd friendship. 'Course, I thought I'd be washing my hands of 'im after Hogwarts, but we've ended up in the same place."
"So, nothing? No attraction?"
"Well, I didn't say that. But I did. It's just, it's Kings, and it is rather fun to bicker with him. We enjoy some of the same things, and he is very cute. Always has been. I don't really know what'd I do without him."
"Can I tell you a story?"
"Not if it begins with 'when I was your age,'" she said, in a mock-senior voice.
"Er, it kindof does. See, every great couple fights. Some mercilessly, much like Kingsley and yourself. Alice and Frank Longbottom used to bicker about silly things, as did Lily and James Potter. But the best example I can give is everyone's favourite, tragic love tale between a cold-hearted Slytherin and a Ravenclaw, whom both fought so horribly, dueled constantly, daily announced sentiments of hatred."
"Remus, you're being overly dramatic. Two people who hate each other so much could never fall in love!"
"Really? Well, you see. The Slytherin was a girl named Andromeda Black and the boy was known as Ted Tonks."
Tonks's mouth opened wide, then she laughed. "Touche, Mr. Remus."
"Of course. And was it not you who commented on Hermione and Ron having some relationship in the makings? And Sirius and I bick--" Remus suddenly stopped, and continued, blushing a bit, "cos Sirius and I are such good friends. Yes. We're good friends cos we bicker."
"You know," Tonks drawled, looking down at her fingertips, "Snape thinks the two of you are more than friends."
"WHAT?" Remus said, sitting up.
"I dunno Remus, the two of you are just so compatable. You make him happy, you know, don't pretend you don't. And you seem happier to be around him, as well."
"And it doesn't matter that we're blokes?"
"Of course it doesn't, cos now I can ask you what pair of trousers are better for my bum!" She said gleefully, and before Remus could come up with a response to defend himself, the dark head of Kingsley popped into view.
"Dora?" he said, and she rose to leave the room with him, winking at Remus on her way out.
Author's note: errr, never written slash. Didn't like this much. What is UP with me writing diolauge pieces?! Haha. Will be excepting flames for the slash because I, quite honestly, don't like it either. I just accepted this piece cos Snape's movie-verse in PoA "...you two still bicker like an old married couple." Tonks and Kingsley are a favorite ship of mine, and the Andromeda/Ted love/hate relationship is the best. Smiles! Writing this cleared up my head, though its not my best piece. OH and here's a BIG apology to the British ficcers -- the "gay friend" thing may be a total American thing, so my deepest apologizes. I rather like the word 'bum' though. Heh.
Review, please!