TITLE: Won't you be my honey bee
AUTHOR: Tardisangel21
WORD COUNT: 522
RATING: M
PAIRING: Dean/Castiel
SPOILERS: Season 6 finale
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a crack fic that hit me when I heard Dean's statement to Sam about Cas showing up covered in bees. Enjoy!
Dean awoke with a start from his sex dream of an orgy with six Asian beauties all moaning his name. Looking around he wondered what had awoken him from his fantasy when he heard a strange buzzing sound that seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once.
"What in the hell?" Dean muttered, as he looked around the cabin for any electrical outlet that may be on the fritz about to cause a fire hazard.
Walking toward the door he heard the buzzing getting louder interspersed with porn like moans of pleasure.
Opening the door he was so shocked by the sight that assailed his eyes that he slammed the door shut and made a mental note to get lots, and lots of brain bleach. That's when he heard it… A very pornographic sigh of "Dean…."
Taking a few calming breaths he opened the door again and stared at the bizarre sight before him.
Before him was Cas laid spread eagle on the hood of the Impala covered in thousands upon thousands of bees.
"It had to be Bees…" Dean muttered as he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms to make sure he was seeing this correctly.
Yep. Cas was on his car covered in bees.
"Bees, mother fucking bees" Dean thought "My life can't get any more fucked up than this."
He was snapped out of his reverie by a very loud moan emitting from his angel.
Before he could say a word, Cas turned his head and amongst the yellow and black pulsating mass two pools of blue stared back at him.
That's when it hit Dean like a ton of bricks, Cas was naked. Naked, and covered in bees and on the hood of his Baby.
"What in the holy hell Cas?" Dean roared as his pants got just a little bit tighter at the sight of his angel withering in ecstasy caused by the vibrations of bees. He hoped Cas wouldn't notice how this was affecting him.
"You really must try this Dean. It's an amazing feeling to be communing with bees." Cas said silkily. "Ohh, that tickles" Cas said lifting his head and staring down at his groin.
"Yea, I'll remember that. Dude, could you go commune with your bees elsewhere. Somewhere that's not the hood of my car?" Dean asked.
Cas tilted his head and looking at Dean nodded before he and his hoard of honey makers disappeared.
"Dude, he was on my car naked covered in bees." Dean said looking at Sam as he tried not to shiver in repulsion or was it attraction.
"Sorry I missed that" Sam replied turning a few shades of green.
It did take Dean everything not to laugh when Cas pulled out a small plastic baggie filled with honey and went to hand it over to Crowley.
"He's off his rocker." Crowley said staring in disbelief at Cas and his baggie of honey.
"Serves him right to get butt crack honey" Dean thought smugly.
Shaking his head he thought "I wonder if honey makes a good lube" before smacking himself mentally for even going there.
FIN