Sorry about the title, it's terrible, I'm just not very good at titles. So I'm supposed to be writing a paper for World Politics. However, I'm a HUGE procrastinator, so instead of doing that, I wrote this instead. Enjoy, and review please! Thanks! And happy first day of November!

Disclaimer: Oh, but if only they were mine. Alas, they are not.

Kirsten was the only one home. Since her stay in rehab, this was a rare occurrence. She found through Seth's babbling that Sandy had requested that one of the three of them be with her at all times. She appreciated the gesture, but she didn't need to be babysat, and she had finally told Sandy so. He had apologized and backed off, and for the first time since she had gotten home from Charlotte's, she was by herself in the house. And she hadn't remembered how big it was. How much empty space there was when no one else was there.

Kirsten also wasn't sure what to do with herself. Without work she was lost. She kept waiting for the phone to ring and have her father demand that she come into the office. She kept waiting for her father period. It was strange to remember that he wasn't there. She felt sometimes as if she hadn't truly faced up to her grief. What with rehab and having to deal with being away from her entire family, it had felt to Kirsten all summer that when she came home her father would be there too. Being away from Sandy and the boys and anything else that had to do with Newport or her father made it very easy for her to live in denial and pretend that he wasn't dead. Sure, she had talked about him in therapy, but about how she had to be perfect for him. About the way that he had made her feel was he was alive. They had surprisingly barely touched on how Kirsten felt now that he was gone.

It was actually Ryan that had made her realize that he was really and truly gone. They had been sitting at dinner one of the first few nights she was home, and for once Sandy roped Seth into helping him clean up, leaving her and Ryan outside on the patio where they had been eating. Kirsten felt strange to not have a glass of wine in her hands, and she had been nervously twisting her rings, and finally Sandy, as if he sensed it, brought her and Ryan out a glass of lemonade. It was a gorgeous night, as most were in Southern California, and she and Ryan sat in easy silence listening to the ocean and the faint sounds of Seth and Sandy in the kitchen arguing good naturedly.

"I'm sorry," Ryan spoke up.

"For what sweetie?" Kirsten asked surprised. She had apologized to him. It had been one of the first things that she had done. Apologized for the drinking, and for not being there that summer when he needed her the most, and for failing him. He had forgiven her easily, telling her that he understood that she had lashed out to protect herself, and that she hadn't failed him. It finally was Ryan who was convincing Kirsten that he loved her, that nothing she could do would change that.

"Your dad. I don't think I ever told you that I was sorry that he died, that you lost him." Lost him was a funny choice of words for Kirsten. It wasn't as if she misplaced him.

"Thank you," she replied quietly.

"I know that he and I didn't really get along, but I mean, he was still your dad, and I know that you loved him, and I know that you probably miss him, and I'm just…you're probably angry that you really didn't get to say goodbye, and it's hard you know? When they're just gone and you don't get to tell them what they mean to you?" And Kirsten realized that Ryan was speaking from experience. His father, his mother, and Trey. His family. They weren't dead, but they were still gone. Like her father. God, her father. He was lost. She had lost him.

An overwhelming sense of grief came over her, and she doubled over and began to weep into her hands. Ryan, surprised at her reaction, didn't know what to do, and looked panicked into the kitchen for a moment trying to seek out Sandy's eyes and silently call him out to help him. Ryan had only seen Kirsten crumble like this once, and that had been at her intervention. Finally he had scooted his chair closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. It was awkward, her bent over and Ryan trying to hold her, but she sat up and buried her head in his chest and she sobbed. Sandy finally looked up, and made a move to come out to comfort his wife and relieve Ryan. He stopped outside, short of them, as he noticed that Ryan was whispering soothing words to Kirsten, and she was calming down. He let him hold her for a moment longer before he finally approached the two.

"Hey baby, you okay?" He had asked, and she had looked up at him tearfully, and Ryan easily transferred Kirsten from his arms into her husband's, and Sandy held onto her as she cried herself out.

Now Kirsten sat at home by herself and despite having wished for some solitude and alone time, found herself wishing that someone else was home with her. When the doorbell rang, she almost forgot that it would not be her dad on the other side. Instead Summer stood there.

"Hi Mrs. Cohen, is Seth here?" Summer asked moving her sunglasses to the top of her head and smiling at her boyfriend's mother.

"Please call me Kirsten, and no, sorry sweetie, he's not right now. He and Ryan went to the pier I think. For some uninterrupted 'Seth/Ryan time'. You know how he gets about that kind of stuff."

"Oh," Summer said frowning slightly. "We were supposed to get lunch. I guess he forgot." She resumed smiling and shrugged. "I'll yell at him later about it." Kirsten couldn't help but laugh a little. "Thanks though Mrs…Kirsten."

"Summer?" Kirsten called out as Summer turned away and started down the steps to her car. Summer turned back around. "I just wanted to…at my father's wake? I just…I'm sorry for…"

"It's okay," Summer said. "I understand."

"No, it's not okay, I wasn't very nice to you, and all you were doing was trying to help." Kirsten paused, and before she had time to think about it, and about how much her son was going to kill her, she blurted out, "Would you like to have lunch with me?" Summer looked surprised for a second and Kirsten shook her head. "An apology lunch. On me. For being there for Seth this summer, and for the way I treated you."

"Sure," Summer replied smiling. "That would be nice." Summer had always liked Seth's mom. Always thought that when she grew up she would like to be like Kirsten. Her stepmother wasn't a very good model, and while Mrs. Cooper was always cool, and very nice to her, she wasn't exactly role model material either. Mrs. Cohen was always so in control, everyone adored her. Her sons, her husband. And Summer knew that Kirsten's desire to be perfect for everyone, especially her father (something Summer could certainly identify with), had led to her drinking, but she had realized that she needed help, and she let herself be helped. Summer admired that.

"Great," Kirsten said with a smile. "Let me grab my purse. Come in." She held the door open to allow Summer to pass. Summer stood in the front hall while Kirsten ran into the kitchen to grab her purse and keys. She reappeared and led the way to the Range Rover. She hadn't driven since her accident. While Sandy had somehow made it so that she had no legal ramifications from the accident, he had taken the keys from her, and then there was no need to drive all summer, and since she had gotten home, Sandy had driven her everywhere. She preferred to think that he missed her and didn't want her out of his sights. It almost made her nervous as she and Summer climbed in.

"Do you want me to drive?" Summer asked sensing Kirsten's hesitation. Kirsten shook her head, and thanked Summer, and started the car.

"Where to?" Kirsten asked as she pulled out of their driveway.

"Um. I don't know?"

"Well, what are you in the mood for?" Kirsten asked. Summer was really in the mood for some chili cheese fries and a burger, but she figured that Kirsten was used to more upscale restaurants. Somehow Summer couldn't see Kirsten in a diner, despite the fact that she was relatively dressed down today.

"I don't know," Summer claimed. "Anything you want."

"Summer, seriously, wherever is fine. What are you in the mood for?" Kirsten pressed.

"Chili cheese fries," Summer finally admitted.

"Well, then chili cheese fries it is," Kirsten said heading towards the pier. "So, how's school going?" Kirsten didn't know what was appropriate to ask Summer. What she could talk about without Seth wanting to kill her. Although she was fairly certain that he wasn't going to take the news of their lunch very well. Lots of words were probably going to be involved, knowing Seth. And knowing the protective stance that Sandy had taken lately, he was probably going to give Seth one of those looks that told him to stop harping on his mother. God forbid they do anything to make Kirsten upset. She was more upset by the fact they were tiptoeing around her. She would prefer things go back to normal. Instead Sandy would probably pull Seth from the room and remind him to be nice to Kirsten. As if Kirsten was going to fall apart if Seth was annoyed with her. As if at the slightest hiccup in her life she was going to go straight back to the bottle and once again drown her sorrows.

But Kirsten knew that she had scared Sandy, and that she had to gain his trust again. And she was working on it. Allowing him to shield her from everything, and allow him to create a little bubble around her. And she couldn't help but admit that she was scared too, scared that something serious would go wrong and she wouldn't know how to handle it. Scared that she would fail her boys, all three of them, for the second time.

"School's…fine," Summer answered. "I mean, it's just me and Seth there, you know? It's weird not to have Coop there with me, we've been in class together since like the fourth grade. And this year was supposed to be all time. Senior year. But now, it's all…messed up."

"It must be hard," Kirsten acknowledged. "Is Seth…I mean, how is he handling being at school without Ryan? I just…he doesn't really tell me…no one is really telling me anything that could be…upsetting, and I just know…you don't have to answer if you don't want to…" Kirsten shook her head. Summer must think she's an idiot. Kirsten almost feared that Summer would jump out of the car at the next red light, rather than sit there with her boyfriend's crazy mother.

"No, he's doing…well I guess he's doing okay. He misses having Ryan there, of course," Summer answered. "And they're just trying to protect you. I mean the whole not telling you anything, that's just...they really missed you this summer. I mean, the house was a mess, and Mr. Cohen, he was a mess. It's like he shut down without you. And with everything else that was going on, the summer was really hard. On everyone." Kirsten nodded; she knew that it had been hard on Sandy. She knew that he really needed her at home, and she felt terrible about it. She couldn't help but the tears that began to snake down her face. Never before had she felt like she had disappointed Sandy so thoroughly. He had needed his wife, and she had been at posh resort going through rehab because her little appreciation of alcohol had gone too far. He had been left to deal with their sons and their problems.

Kirsten tried to wipe away the tears before Summer noticed, but she was not fast enough and Summer soon spotted the few tears rolling down Kirsten's cheeks.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, I'm such an idiot," Summer exclaimed.

"No, it's okay," Kirsten said. "I need to know what happened this summer. I need to know all of it, good or bad. I need to know what I missed." She pulled into the parking lot of the diner and wiped the remaining tears. She gave Summer a shaky smile. "Let's go eat?"

"Yeah," Summer said climbing out. She led the way this time, and they were seated in a booth by the windows and Kirsten peered at the menu. Summer did have to admit that Kirsten didn't look exactly like she fit there. She had heard stories about Kirsten and Sandy when they were younger and somehow just couldn't see Kirsten being a wild child. According to Seth, they lived out the back of a mail truck for awhile. Summer struggled to envision Kirsten sleeping on a dirty mattress in a mail truck. Seth had showed her pictures of him when he was little when his parents had taken him backpacking through Thailand. Backpacking implied a lack of running water, and Summer wondered how the same woman who sat in front of her in Prada could have been the same woman who went without showering and slept on a beach.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kirsten asked smiling a little at Summer.

"I was just thinking…well Seth said that you guys once backpacked through Thailand with him? And I just…"

"Can't see it?" Kirsten asked laughing.

"Well, no, I can't," Summer replied.

"Oh God, Thailand, I haven't thought about that trip in forever," Kirsten smiled nostalgically. "I was young. I was in love. I wanted to be free. Sandy…he was the same way, and we did live like Bohemians. My father hated it. But it was wonderful." She paused. "I was really young when I got married, and when I had Seth. I still had a lot of growing up to do. But I highly recommend living without any real responsibilities for awhile, it's really great while it lasts." The waitress appeared to take their orders interrupting Kirsten's trip down memory lane.

"Why did you move back here? Seth never said, he just complains about how much better he would have fit in at Berkeley. How there's people like him there," Summer said with a little laugh. "As if there's people like Cohen anywhere."

"We moved back because my mother got sick," Kirsten answered. "We never intended to stay, but…you'll learn this eventually, there's something about home. You never actually let go of it, or really I don't think it ever really lets go of you." She had once told Sandy that she thought that was the reason that he had never gotten used to being in Newport. That California wasn't his home, New York was. Sandy had looked at her seriously, taken her hand and placed it on his chest and told her,

"You are my home."

"It's going to be weird," Summer said suddenly. "Being away from Newport for college. Not being with Coop, or Cohen, or Ryan."

"Do you think you and Seth will stay together?" Kirsten asked, again not too sure if these were appropriate questions to ask Summer. She was pretty sure that Seth would have rolled his eyes and said his patented, "Mom!" if he had heard.

"I don't know," Summer said truthfully. The truth was that she thought about it all the time, but didn't really have anyone to talk to about it. Marissa, although a great person, was too wrapped up currently in her own problems to hear about Summer's. Every time Summer would bring up the discussion of where they would all be next year, and what would happen, Marissa would almost immediately change the subject and Summer just gave up. It was nice of Kirsten to ask. It was nice that Kirsten cared. It was nice to have someone to talk to; even it was her boyfriend's mother.

"After all you've been through," Kirsten said. "I'm sure you will." It was exactly what Summer had wanted to hear and she gave Kirsten a grateful smile.

"You think?"

"I do," Kirsten said smiling and nodding. "You guys have something special." The waitress brought over the chili cheese fries and their burgers and set it down in front of them.

"Oh that looks so good," Kirsten exclaimed. "Sandy's going to kill me when he finds out I went here without him. He's always complaining about having to eat the fancy food."

"Are you too…I mean, Seth was kind of worried that…well, I mean this summer must have been…" It was Summer's turn to ask a question that she wasn't sure if she had the right to ask. She half feared that Kirsten would be outraged with her for asking such a personal question. But Kirsten smiled kindly at her.

"We're good," Kirsten said. "We're actually better than we have been in a long time. Last summer…with Seth and Ryan gone…it was hard, and we didn't ever quite get over it. We stopped talking to one another, and all that happened this summer made us realize that we were not invincible. And we had to stop and make things work again, but they are working again. We're talking, and listening, and it's great."

"You really love him," Summer said softly watching as Kirsten blushed at the thought of her husband. "Like still. After all these years."

"Yes," Kirsten replied just as softly. "I really love him." Summer wondered if she and Seth would ever be like that. Would they ever be so lucky to love like the Cohens loved? They stopped talking for a few minutes, sitting in comfortable silence as they ate their lunches.

"We should do this more often," Kirsten finally spoke up. "I mean, if you want to of course. It's just that I'm so outnumbered at home. It's nice to have a girl to talk to."

"I would like that," Summer said smiling. It wasn't as if her social calendar was overflowing right at that moment. And she liked that Kirsten treated her as if she was an equal, and not a child. "And maybe we could shopping some time? I mean, you have fabulous taste…"

"Thank you Summer," Kirsten said accepting the compliment. "And that would be great. I would love to go shopping." Summer nodded and continued to eat her lunch. They moved on to different subjects: what Julie Cooper was going to do now, and what Kirsten was now doing with her free time. Summer was invited over for the first successful meal that Kirsten learned how to make.

"I'll keep Cohen from making too many smart ass comments," Summer promised. "Although it's hard to keep him from talking, as I'm sure you know."

"Oh I know," Kirsten said grinning. "Ever since his very first word he has not stopped talking. Every once in a while, I wish he would just stop. For like five minutes, you know? And just be okay with silence. But the day that happens, Newport will have it's first blizzard." Summer laughed. They talked about clothes, and television shows, Kirsten admitting that she did indeed watch The Valley, and before they knew it, they had been sitting there for a couple of hours, talking and laughing about everything and nothing at the same time. Kirsten drove back home, and saw Sandy's car waiting in the driveway. She also saw him glancing out the window, and wished that she had the foresight to leave him a note to tell him where she had gone. She had turned her phone on silent, so that it wouldn't interrupt their lunch, and sure enough there were several missed calls from him. They climbed out of the car, and headed towards the front door.

"Thank God! There you are…hi Summer," Sandy said slightly confused. Kirsten leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Sorry sweetheart, I meant to leave you a note," Kirsten apologized. "Summer and I went to lunch."

"Excuse me?" Seth came into the front hall. "I thought you just said that you and Summer went to lunch?"

"We did," Summer confirmed. "And it was really nice. We're going to go shopping next Saturday."

"Dad? Did aliens take over the planet? What's going on?" Seth questioned looking from his mother to his girlfriend, both who were smiling.

"Thank you again Kirsten," Summer said. "Come on Cohen." Summer grabbed him by the hand and dragged him away. Kirsten could hear her son sputtering and demanding an explanation the whole way. Sandy couldn't help but grin at the smile on his wife's face.

"I'm really sorry, Sandy," Kirsten said again.

"No, honey, don't worry about it," Sandy assured her wrapping his arms around her. "I'm glad that you had a nice time."

"We did," Kirsten said. "We had a really nice time." Sandy leaned in and kissed her. "She's really great, Sandy. And she's really good for Seth." She gave him a kiss back. "We're going shopping!"

"I heard," Sandy grinned back at her. It had a while since he had seen his wife this excited about anything, and he almost wanted to find Summer and pick her up off the ground and spin her around. "So how much money is this shopping trip going to cost us?" Kirsten didn't answer, instead turning around and grinning at him as she walked away. "Kirsten? No seriously…Kirsten, honey? How much money are we talking about? Kirsten!"