An increased heartbeat
Can mean many things
But usually
It's associated with
Passion
.
How long until that mission is done? Three weeks, right? I can wait that long.
.
Heat and desire
Hatred and love
Disgust and lust
All the lines blur
To incomprehensible messes
.
What was it for? The Hollows in the 67th District, South, right? It won't be an issue.
.
For oh so long
The lines didn't matter
And still they don't
Even when they blur
Even further than before
.
The three weeks pass uneventfully, and I wait by the barracks for his return. He doesn't return. I worry something's happened, but a week's leeway is always given.
.
More and more
Over and over
Mixes and messes
Combinations that shouldn't be
But happen anyway- caring, naw
.
The week goes by so slowly. I feel as if I'm dying. He promised to come home. He promised, this time, there wouldn't be an accident. He better not have lied.
.
Forbidden, maybe, but
Since when has that ever
Been an issue
The passion changes color
From pink to hot red rage
.
The group doesn't return. He doesn't return, and I plead with my Captain to let me lead a team out after them. He doesn't allow it. He says that he can't afford to loose me, not when there are other teams being sent out in my place. That night, at the end of the week without any sign of them, I sit in my room and cry silently. Please, don't let him be dead.
.
With the change comes tears
And the endless lines shift
Passion moves and loses fire
They are apart, so only
Only one looses the love
.
Please, please, please. Pleading doesn't work, and my appeals aren't answered. Weeks go by, and there is no change. I sit under the window of his bedroom, knowing I can't go in there without him- the guards will not allow it. When a Captain's meeting is called, I can't help the relief that courses through me. I'm too busy to listen in, unfortunately, since that lovely little girl needs me for this single night.
.
So few things
Are capable of
Igniting a spark
That was lost
For the one
.
Four more days pass, and my nails are worn down completely from worry. My hair is in a constant state of disarray. My Captain can't figure out why I'm so worked up over the missing group. I don't tell him that I couldn't care less about the group, just as long as their leader makes it home.
.
Barely making it back
The spark is feeble
But only on one end
The other burns
Brightly like the sun
.
When he returns, I have to wait to see him until after visiting hours are over at the fourth. The wait kills me, but at least I know he's safe. He will get a piece of my mind when he wakes up.
.
The white-hot rage
Curls violently, full of fuel
Only a glimpse sets it aflame
Still, however, relief
Is also present
.
How dare you make me wait nearly two months for your return? How dare you lie to me, make a false promise? How dare you make me worry about you so? How dare you nearly leave me? How dare you, how dare you, how dare you?
.
One night shifts the passion
Heartbeats increase
The rage nearly gone
It was almost as if
The brush with death hadn't been
.
I'm sorry, he tells me. I'm sorry. There were more than we had anticipated, and finding them had been taxing. We were outnumbered. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lisa-chan.