"Serena, we need to talk," Nate said seriously with a nervous look on his face.
"I have to tell you something, too," Serena said somewhat happily but also with a nervous expression.
They sat on the couch in the Archibald living room. "I uh think we should take a break," he stuttered slightly, knowing what was going to happen when he said this.
Serena's world crumbled and her bottom lip trembled, "Why? Did I do something wrong?" A tear rolled down her tan cheek as he shook his head no.
"Serena, it's not you, it's," he was cut off by Serena's commanding voice.
She fumed, "Don't you dare. Do not even think about using that line on me. We've been together since we were fifteen and we are now twenty. Five years, Nate. That's all you can say to me? I thought I was going to marry you! I spent five years of my life with you and you are going to use some cliché that you would use on a girlfriend of a week. Not someone that you spent half of a decade with!" Tears were rolling down her face and there was no way she could stop them.
"Serena, I don't want to break up with you. I just want to take a break. I need some time for myself," he said without looking at her gorgeous blue eyes because he knew he would break if he looked at them.
"You can't even look at me now? Am I that revolting?" she questioned between a sob.
Her tears stopped suddenly and the look of sadness was replaced with a stone cold mask, "Okay, if you want to break up that's fine but if you do, you will never see me again." He looked confused.
She continued, "It won't be a break. It will be over. For good. Do you understand?"
He said, "What do you mean I'll never see you again?"
She replied with no emotion, "I'll leave the Upper East Side."
He still looked confused, "Where would you go? The Upper West Side? SoHo?"
She laughed. It was now cold and calculating instead of the warm chuckle it used to be, "I meant New York. I'll leave the state."
Nate's eyes bulged out of his head, "What? You can't leave New York; it's your home."
Serena replied, "If you really cared you wouldn't have broken up with me. Now that I'm not your girlfriend, I am none of your concern. It's not like you care anymore."
He shook his head, "Serena, how can you think I don't care? I've loved you since I was fifteen."
She mimicked his motion with a shake of her head, "Since when is 'love' in the past tense? You know what Nate, this is great. No, this is freaking fantastic! Maybe little Jenny Humphrey still wants you! Why don't you give her a call!"
She stormed away feeling nothing but rage. Nate caught her by the arm in the foyer, "What did you have to tell me? You said when you first got here that you wanted to talk to me about something."
She rolled her eyes, "I guess I will just do it alone."
She yanked her arm from his grasp and hailed a cab. He watched her leave and realized it was the biggest mistake he ever made. She headed to the Waldorf Penthouse, which was currently her 'dorm' while attending Columbia. She ran up to Blair's room with tears streaming out of her eyes. Blair heard the sobbing of her best friend and opened the door of her room just as Serena reached the door.
"He broke up with me! It's over!" Serena sobbed into her best friend's shoulder while she embraced her.
"What in the world are you talking about? Nate adores you," Blair said to Serena.
She replied in a barely coherent voice, "He said he thinks we should take a break. He even used the line 'It's not you, it's me.' I can't believe it is over, B. I thought I was going to marry him and then he just dumps me like we dated for a week. It's been five years, Blair! Five! I can't stay here. I need to leave."
Blair's eyes widened but she knew her best friend was in pain. Serena never cried over a guy and she has been dating since she was eleven, for crying out loud! Even then, when everything seemed like the end of the world, she used to say with her head held high, "I don't need him. I'm Serena van der Woodsen. I don't need anyone except you guys." She was referring to her best friends, Blair, Nate, and Chuck.
"I'll help you, S. Where do you want to go?" Blair questioned.
"Anywhere. How about LA?" Serena replied.
"I can go with you. It's summer. We can go there instead of the Hamptons," Blair offered.
"You know you are the best friend a girl could ask for, right?" Serena smiled slightly. Blair nodded. It made Serena laugh a little bit.
"Why don't you go to your room and pack your things. I'll charter a plane because I have a feeling I am going to have a very drunk Serena on my hands," Blair suggested and Serena rolled her eyes. They left at midnight, bags packed and their goodbyes said to everyone but Nate. Blair called Chuck and told him that she loved him and that she would tell him where they were going when she could.
Later that night, back in the Upper East Side, Nate stopped by the Waldorf's to talk to Serena. "Dorota, is Serena here?" he questioned the housekeeper.
She responded with a confused look, "Miss Serena didn't tell you? Her and Miss Blair go on vacation."
He was out of words. He didn't know how to respond because he knew that when Blair returned, she would be alone. She wouldn't be with her blonde, lively, best friend and the love of his life. Serena wouldn't come back to the Upper East Side or him. He lost her. He went up to her room and sat on her bed. There was a letter for him written in her perfect handwriting. She knew him too well. He scoffed at the greeting. She never called him by his full name. Ever. Not even during an argument.
Dear Nathaniel,
By the time you get this, I will be halfway to my destination so don't bother asking where I am because no one knows. Not even Chuck. I know you will eventually find out where Blair and I are but it would be a waste of time to come. I told you what would happen if you ended us. I can't be just your friend. I've never been able to be just your friend. You've known that for a long time. I will never forgive you for doing this to me, for treating me like this. I loved you more than anything in the world, more than life itself, actually and you just dumped me like I was nothing. I hope we can be friends one day, but as of right now, I despise you Nathaniel Archibald.
Goodbye, Serena
A steady stream of tears was flowing down his face. She was really gone with no intentions of returning. He did this to her. He pushed her away and made her leave her friends, family, and home. He would never forgive himself for it either. He put the letter in his jacket pocket. He went into the bathroom and grabbed a tissue from the sink and wiped his eyes. As he threw the tissue away, he saw it; a pregnancy test with a little plus sign. That was what she had to tell him before he broke her heart. Her words were swirling in his brain, 'I guess I'll just do it alone.' She was going to try and raise their child alone. He ran out of the penthouse and went to the Palace to see Chuck.
Chuck was not that pleased to see him, "Seriously, Nathaniel? Even I am not that much of an asshole. This will probably be the one and only time you will ever hear me say this but why the hell have you not proposed yet? It's been five years. How many people have assumed that you two were married already? I don't think Einstein could count that high for Christ's sake."
Nate still couldn't process anything except Serena's words that were echoing in his mind. "Serena's pregnant, Chuck," he said to his friend.
Chuck turned and looked at him with his eyebrows raised, "So that's why you broke up with her? What the hell is wrong with you? I'm Chuck Bass and I wouldn't even abandon the woman carrying my child. So that has got to say something."
Nate shook his head, "She didn't tell me. I went to Blair's a while after she left and went up to her room but she wasn't there which you knew, of course, and read the letter she left me. I went to throw something away in her bathroom and the test was in the trash can with the little plus sign staring right at me. She was going to tell me but I broke up with her first and then she stormed out and ran away with Blair."
Chuck just shook his head, "What possessed you to break up with her anyway? If you really wanted a break you would've done so years ago, but you didn't so why now?"
Nate just shrugged, "It all just hit me. I realized that I had only one serious relationship in my entire life and I was twenty so I just reacted without thinking. I guess I just wanted to go out and have fun and not worry about a girl hitting on me because Serena could find out. Now, it's ruined."
Chuck said, "You know that Serena would've probably laughed in the girl's face if she tried to hit on you but maybe you can fix your problem."
"No, you didn't read the letter she wrote me. She hates me. She told me very clearly that I wouldn't see her again and I figured she was being dramatic but she wasn't and now she's gone. She said she would never forgive me for doing this to her," he replied.
"Nate, Serena may be dramatic but she almost always sticks to what she says. You of all people should know that. You know everything about her," Chuck said to his heartbroken best friend. Chuck added, "But, another thing about Serena is that she always comes back whether it's for revenge or a birthday, she always comes back."
Nate nodded thankfully at his friend and went over to get the decanter of scotch. He poured a glass for Chuck and took the bottle for himself. He needed to be drunk to ease the pain of losing Serena even if it was his fault entirely. He drank until he passed out on the floor. Chuck dragged him to the guest room and put his depressed friend on the mattress. On his stomach, of course, just in case he got sick, he wouldn't choke to death. He was sad for his best friends. Even Chuck, the womanizer who didn't believe in love, knew that Serena and Nate were in love, a concept he didn't believe in until he saw the way the way they looked at each other. You could see it before they were even together. As friends, people thought they were a couple. They were always in sync. If Serena shifted in her seat, Nate would follow. They didn't even realize they did it. It was just how they were.
Serena and Blair's plane just touched down in LA and they were exhausted. They got in the limo that was waiting for them and Blair noticed that Serena hadn't drunk anything on the long plane ride besides sparkling apple juice and about three milkshakes with everything but the kitchen sink mixed into them.
"Serena, why didn't you drink on the plane ride? Whenever you fight with Nate, we go to a bar and drink," Blair questioned inquisitively.
Serena looked around nervously and twisted her birthstone ring, something she does when she's anxious or nervous. The ring that she wears is beautiful. Nate bought it for Serena. She was born in July so it is a gorgeous heart-shaped, red ruby in the center, the band full of diamonds. It is breath-taking. Underneath the band, is an infinity sign etched in the white gold of the ring. It leaves an imprint in her skin when she takes it off although she never does. She only takes it off to be cleaned.
"What's wrong, Serena?" Blair asks once again. Then she realizes that her friend has had a 'cold' that only seems to appear in the morning and has been craving ice cream with strange toppings and is also quite moody sometimes. "You're pregnant!" Serena's eyes widen and she starts to cry.
"That's what I was going to tell Nate today but I didn't get the chance," she cried as Blair hugged her, "What am I going to do?"
"Sweetie, I think we have to call Nate even though he doesn't deserve it," Blair said to Serena in a motherly voice.
"I can't talk to him, B! I can't think about him without crying my eyes out!" Serena said while sobbing.
"Serena, this is his baby, too. You have to at least tell him," Blair said firmly.
"Can you, please? I can't even think about it," Serena begged.
"Only because you're my best friend and I love you," Blair smiled as they checked into the Montage, the hotel they were staying at. They walked into their suite and sat on the bed.
"Thanks, B. I am going to go sit in the jacuzzi while you call him. It's been a long day," Serena said as she walked into the master bathroom and shut the door.
Blair dialed Nate's number furiously and pressed the phone to her ear. He answered the phone.
Drowsily he said, "Hello?"
"Who the hell do you think you are?! I have never met someone so insensitive and straight out mean in my entire life! Serena has worshipped the ground you walked on for five years and then you just drop her like a used napkin! I cannot even describe the level of sickness and disappointment I feel towards you and not to even mention the anger along with it! By the way, do you know she's pregnant?" Blair screamed and shouted through the phone.
"Yeah, I know," Nate replied.
"So you knew she was pregnant and you still dumped her? You make me sick, Nate! I'm guessing you didn't know that Serena has been crying for the entire flight here? I am surprised she isn't dehydrated from all of the tears pouring out of her system!" Blair continued to yell.
"If I knew where she was I would be on a god damn plane right now! You of all people should know that, Blair! I would never make her raise our child on her own!" Nate hollered right back.
"Well, if you wouldn't have broken up with her then she would've have told you and we wouldn't be in this situation, Nate. There is no way you can victimize yourself in this situation. This is your fault. You broke her heart and then you expected her to tell you? I wouldn't have even told you now. You're lucky it was up to Serena and not me because I wouldn't have told you at all. You're despicable but for some unknown reason, Serena thought you were worthy of knowing. But you obviously already do so goodbye," Blair said angrily but she wasn't screaming anymore.
"Tell Serena I want to talk to her and that I-I love her," Nate stuttered.
"Are your freaking insane?! Do you honestly think that I would tell her that after what you did to her? That would upset her even more!" Blair shouted once more.
"But I do love her, Blair. Both you and I know that. But you can think what you want. Goodnight, Blair. Please tell her what I said but I understand if you don't," Nate said to his angry and very loud friend.
"Whatever, Nate," she said as she hung up the phone.
Nate sat there on the guest bed in Chuck's suite and thought about all of the mistakes he made in that one day.
Chuck came in the room and asked, "What's all of the shouting about?"
"That was Blair. She told me about Serena and a whole lot about me," Nate responded.
"Did you find out where they were?" Chuck questioned.
"About that… Can you get your PI to trace the location of her phone? I need to talk to her Chuck," Nate pleaded with his friend.
"Fine, but if either of them asks you hired your own PI and left me out of it. We can take the Bass Industries jet. It's much quicker than either waiting for a plane or chartering one," Chuck stated while taking his phone out of his pocket.
Nate couldn't sleep that night and neither could Serena, both tossing and turning all night. Chuck woke up with a message from his PI on his phone simply saying: The Montage, LA. He went out to the living room to see Nate sitting on the sofa with a tumbler of scotch in his hand.
"They are at the Montage, no surprise there, in Los Angeles. Go pack. I'll call Arthur. He will drive you to your house and wait for you there. Be quick, Nathaniel," Chuck told his now smiling friend. Nate was beaming. He was going to see Serena today. He went and packed and they were on their way to the Bass jet in no time.
Back in LA, due to the time difference, Blair and Serena were eating lunch in their room. Well, Blair was eating lunch. Serena was eating a huge bowl of ice cream with every topping imaginable.
"Be right back," Serena said as she walked into the bathroom. A minute later she screamed for Blair. Blair ran into the bathroom to see Serena covered in blood. She helped her out of the bathroom while she was screaming in pain and called an ambulance. They were there in record time with Blair holding Serena's hand in the ambulance, both with tears on their faces. They arrived at the hospital speedily and Serena was taken away from Blair. Nate was calling Blair from outside of the hotel they were staying at and she answered in tears.
"Nate, you have to get to LA," she sobbed, "There's something wrong with Serena. I'm at the hospital now. Please get here."
"I'm in Los Angeles, Blair, and what hospital? I'm on my way," he said while running back to the car with Chuck in tow.
"UCLA Medical Center," she said quickly and then she hung up.
"What's wrong?" Chuck asked a frantic Nate.
"It's Serena. Something's wrong," Nate said after shouting the location at their driver.
Chuck didn't ask any more questions. That was all he needed to hear to understand Nate's hysterical state. They arrived at the hospital very hastily. Nate practically sprinted through the halls of the hospital to find Blair. He couldn't find her so he called her. She was in the fourth floor waiting room. Chuck and he took the elevator to the fourth floor to find a crying Blair.
"Do they know what's wrong? Where is she?" he asked in a panicky voice.
"They didn't tell me anything yet because I'm not family and believe me, I have tried everything I could," she said, irritated.
"Excuse me? Are you here for Serena van der Woodsen?" the nurse asked. All three of them nodded in response. "Follow me."
They all walked quickly, following the nurse to Serena's room. They got there and Serena was hysterically crying in her hospital bed. Nate ran up to her side.
"What's wrong, Serena? What happened?" Nate asked worriedly.
The doctor started speaking and caught all of their attention. She informed them, "She miscarried. It usually happens from stress this early in the pregnancy. It could have very well happened from something else but with someone your age it is common. The mothers tend to get very nervous and stress themselves out about the situation at hand and this occurs. I'm very sorry for your loss, Miss Van Der Woodsen."
The doctor left and they all turned back to Serena; all with tears in their eyes. Nate was crying. In the few hours he had known about the baby, he already seemed so attached to he or she.
"Blair and I will leave you two to talk," Chuck said and the two walked out of the room.
Nate and Serena look at each other and the pain in each other's eyes.
"I am so sorry, Serena. I didn't even think through what I was doing. I never wanted to hurt you. It was never what I wanted to do. I just-I don't know what I was thinking. Can you forgive me?" Nate begged.
"I don't care what you did. I just need you right now. Please," she cried.
He walked right over to her bed and pulled her into a hug, both of them crying into each other's embrace. She moved over to let him in the bed with her. He put his arm around her shoulders and she laid her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head and they both fell asleep. Chuck and Blair came in shortly after they fell asleep and sat in the two chairs in the room.
"How can their relationship survive anything? I just don't get it. They don't even try to make it work. It just does," Blair said to Chuck while watching the couple who hours ago were broken up. It sure didn't seem that way now.
"I am going to sound like some type of romance novel right now but they are just meant to be. It is just how they are. They can be screaming at each other one minute and in bed the next. That is just how their relationship works but it doesn't mean that it is any stronger than ours," Chuck leaned over and kissed Blair. Blair smiled and rested her head on Chuck's shoulder and they fell asleep also.
The next morning, Nate woke up to a whimpering Serena.
"Please, stop. Don't take him away from us, please," she cried in her sleep.
"Babe, wake up," he rubbed her arm soothingly.
She jolted out of her sleep, her face moist with tears and her heart beating out of her chest.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Nate asked, concerned. Serena shook her head, no, and buried her head in his chest, crying. He put his arms around her and saw Chuck and Blair waking up in the two chairs.
Blair heard Serena's whimpering and woke up. She rose from her chair and came over to the bed, "Is she okay? What happened?"
"I think she had a nightmare," he whispered to the concerned brunette, "You two should go to the hotel and get showered and dressed. I will bring S to the hotel after they bring her discharge papers." Chuck and Blair nodded and they both hugged Serena, murmuring apologies again. They both walked to the car waiting outside and went back to the hotel.
"Serena doesn't deserve this. No one does," Blair said sadly.
"It isn't Serena's fault. It isn't anyone's fault Blair. This kind of stuff just happens," Chuck walked over and hugged an upset Blair.
Nate was signing Serena's discharge papers as she was getting dressed. Nate called a car to pick them up and saw Serena looking at something in her hands.
"Hey, what's that?" Nate questioned curiously.
Serena had a sad smile on her face, "This was what I was going to give you to tell you that I was pregnant."
He took the small piece of material out of her hands and spread it out. It was a pale green onesie that said 'Hi, Daddy!'
"We were having a boy?" Nate asked with tears threatening to spill. Serena simply nodded.
"How far along were you?" Nate asked while still holding the onesie.
"About twelve weeks. I didn't even realize it until I looked at the calendar and noticed I was late. About two months late. I was just so busy it didn't even come to mind. When I came to your house, I just got back from the doctors and they told me I was about twelve weeks along and it was a boy," she smiled sadly.
"Serena, I am so sorry. I just panicked because I realized I had really only been serious with one woman for my whole life and it just frightened me, I guess," he continued to ramble but Serena cut him off.
"I don't care anymore. You're here now, when I needed you and that's what matters. It shows me that you still care," Serena said lovingly.
"I never stopped caring, Serena. I couldn't even if I wanted to," he said convincingly. They walked out and got in the car.
"Blair just texted me. She wants to know if we want to go to lunch at Urasawa. It's a sushi restaurant on Rodeo Drive. It has excellent reviews she says," Serena said with a small smile on her face. She just doesn't want to be treated like she is broken. She wants to be treated normally, like nothing happened in the last twenty-four hours even though they were the most painful twenty-four hours in her life.
"Sure, sounds great," Nate says, smiling at Serena. He just wants to make her happy.
They drove back to the hotel with a conversation flowing about what they could do on this vacation. LA was a beautiful place so why not enjoy it? They reached the hotel and went up to the suite Blair and Serena rented.
"So, about Urasawa…" Serena said.
"What about it?" Blair questions.
"I was more in the mood for French…in Paris." Serena stated.
"Paris? I'm in!" Blair exclaimed excitedly and hugged the smiling blonde. The two turned around to see the two guys repacking the things Chuck unpacked for them. The girls smirked at each other.
"I think we should go back to New York first. Neither of us have enough clothes for a summer in Paris!" Blair said ecstatically. Serena nodded eagerly in agreement. Chuck and Nate sigh but agree. Chuck calls the airport and charters a plane for a flight to Manhattan. Serena and Blair never got the chance to unpack so they just called the concierge to retrieve their bags and load their bags into the limo. They arrived at the airport fairly quick and were on their way to the Upper East Side. Before they knew it, they were home, at the van der Woodsen Penthouse.
"Serena, um does Lily know about what happened? Did you talk to her?" Nate asked a sleep Serena.
"No, I will tell after we get back from Paris," she mumbled in her sleep. Nate carried Serena up to her room as did Chuck for Blair. They were exhausted. They climbed into bed with their girlfriends and fall asleep instantly. Once again, Nate is awoken from Serena's whimpering.
"Please, don't take him! Chace! Please, stop!" she cried and screamed.
"Serena! Wake up!" he whispered urgently. She shot up out of her sleep.
Nate rubbed her back comfortingly and asked, "Babe, what are your nightmares about and who's Chace?
Serena, who was breathing heavily, could barely talk through her heart wrenching sobs. Nate picked her up and brought her out into the kitchen and heated her some milk with honey and cinnamon. She calmed down and sat at the dining room table with her milk.
"I'm sorry I keep waking you up every night," she apologized.
"Please, don't be sorry. You have no control over it. What is going on in those nightmares, babe? I hate seeing you in pain," he said with understanding and comfort.
"I keep dreaming about him. What he would've looked like; what color eyes he would've had. Then, he just disappears. He is just gone," she says with tears brimming in her eyes.
"Who's Chace?" Nate questions.
"That was the name I was considering…for him," she replies with a single tear sliding down her cheek.
"Chace," Nate says with a smile, "I like it."
She smiles back at him, "I knew you would."
She continues, "When I see him, I see a mini you; blondish-brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes, perfect bone structure and completely flawless."
"Well, before I knew it was a boy I pictured the baby as a girl and just like you; beach blonde hair, shining blue eyes that light up everyone's world, and your little freckles that you get in the summer. I would've had to kick a few asses to keep boys away from her. She would've been beautiful but I was ecstatic when you told me it was a boy. I could've taught him how to play lacrosse and pick up girls," he smirked.
"You would do no such thing with my little baby boy! The lacrosse is fine but no girls until he is thirty!" Serena laughed. They laughed for a while and talked about what I would've been like.
"You would really consider having a family with me?" Serena asked with happy tears in her eyes.
"Seriously, Serena? I can't think of anyone else to have a family with," he said lovingly, kissing her lips sweetly.
"Babe, I have to run home to grab something for the trip to Paris, I will be back in a half an hour. I promise," he said while kissing her once more before grabbing his coat and throwing on his shoes. He hailed a taxi and went to his mother's house.
"Mom!" he called out into the silent house.
His mother came running down the stairs, quite frightened, "Nathaniel, what are you doing? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Can I talk to you?" he asked.
"What is it, Nate?" she questioned, concerned.
"I want to marry Serena. Can I please have the Vanderbilt diamond ring?" he asked pleadingly.
"Well, it's about time you proposed to that girl," she said with a sigh and a smiled. She slid the ring off of her finger and gave it to Nate. "I will go get the box from my dresser," she stated. It's an exquisite ring. It holds a large, beautiful diamond in the center, surrounded by tons of smaller diamonds in a flower-like shape.
"Thanks, Mom," he smiled. He ran up to his old room and grabbed his passport so he could say that is what he went home for so Serena didn't get suspicious. He hailed a taxi once again and went back to Serena's. Serena was sitting on the couch with her feet tucked under her and a cup of tea in hand reading The Beautiful and Damned. He could picture coming home to her like this and he wouldn't have to for long. That fantasy would become a reality.