Unbreak Me

by ALittleBitOfDrarry

Harry & Draco are back at Hogwarts for their 8th year, but this year instead of psychopath dark wizards and an impending war, the boys have to deal with PTSD, memories of an abusive father, living up to a world known name, and...babies? As the two boys realize their feelings for each other will they be able to find themselves enough to find each other? #Drarry

1. Chapter 1

Harry sighed as he stepped off of the Hogwarts express and gazed up at the large castle that was Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a place that over the years he had come to call home when no other home was apparent. Over the course of the past year Harry had often longed to come back to this place, to be surrounded by the familiar atmosphere of learning, the scent of food wafting from the great hall, the never ending buzz that consumed the school as familiar faces joked and laughed and complained about upcoming potions tests and quidditch scores, but now as Harry looked up he did not see the same castle nor did he feel the same comfort that had once been his salvation. It was true that the castle looked different, for much of it had been destroyed and replaced due to the battle that took place on its soil last December, but that alone was not the thing that caused its homey appeal to vanish. Terrible things had happened here. Things that Harry had taken a part in. He could never look at this castle again and see his childhood home, no, all he saw now was a battle ground, a place where a war swept through his life stealing the people he loved, a place where a different war now raged, the war within his mind and the depths of his soul threatening to consume him every day. As Harry stepped through the inviting doors of a once innocent place to begin his eighth year at Hogwarts, he took a breath, and closed his eyes to the oncoming storm.

"Harry cheer up! We're back at Hogwarts! I know you love it here."

Harry looked up, acknowledging Hermione's attempt to stir him.

"Harry you've hardly eaten a thing. Please, what's the matter?"

She was right. The food on his plate had begun to grow cold, the only noticeable difference a small indent in his mashed potatoes. He didn't want to sulk, he was back at Hogwarts, a place he had loved for so long, and he knew he was expected to be happy, but he couldn't find it in him. Just as he was preparing to excuse himself a familiar Weasley sat down beside him.

"Hello Harry! Ron, Hermione." Ginny Weasley grinned, her fire red hair bouncing as she turned her head to acknowledge her table mates. "Isn't it nice to be back? You know, without an inevitable war hanging over us."

Harry smiled. Ginny was surprisingly close to Harry these days, even more so than Ron or Hermione. They were still friends of course, but now that they were together romantically the relationship between the three of them was different. Not that Harry was angry about that, he was happy for them. His relationship with Ginny, on the other hand, was slightly complicated. She and Harry had dated for a while, over a year actually, and everyone if not themselves had expected them to become married, but Harry had broken up with Ginny at the very end of August right before the start of term. There were no hard feelings though. The breakup had been mutual. In fact, Harry knew that they were both much happier this way. It wasn't their fault that they were both, well, not exactly fit to each other's preference. Harry had suggested continuing a fake relationship in order to keep face, but Ginny had insisted that this would only make them both miserable in the long run, and Harry had to agree. Now he and Ginny were the best of friends, closer In fact than they had ever been while they were dating. He felt a sense of trust and comfort with Ginny that he had never felt with Ron or Hermione, as if he could tell her anything in the world and she wouldn't care. It could be the fact that they had in common a rather sizable secret, one that they had, in a way, used each other to confirm, or it could be the fact that she was just so, Ginny. There was no other way to describe it. Feeling renewed by Ginny's familiar presence Harry managed to eat the rest of his dinner before making his way to the ever familiar Gryffindor common room where he and Ron were sharing a dorm with just the two of them since there was a limited number of eighth year students. Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas were the only other male eighth year Gryffindor students that Harry knew of. Neville Longbottom had considered returning, but changed his mind upon receiving an offer as an overseas intern to a herbology professor at Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in America. A sizable number of female students had come back including Hermione, Parvati Patil, and a few others Harry didn't know nor care about. There were thirteen eighth year Ravenclaws, seven Hufflepuffs, and only four Slytherins. Harry imagined most of the Slytherins did not want to show their face after the things their families had done during the war. However, one Slytherin who came back, and seemed to be a constant presence in Harry's life, was Draco Malfoy.

Harry woke up on the first day of classes feeling more hopeful than he had yesterday. At breakfast he felt comforted by the loud banter produced by countless students having a thousand different conversations. The familiarity calmed Harry down. Maybe this year wouldn't be so bad after all. Hermione and Ron were not at the table yet, and judging from the fact that Ron hadn't been in their dorm last night or this morning Harry assumed that he had spent the night with Hermione who had her own dorm this year. He imagined they were grateful to get away from the crowded atmosphere of the burrow and the watchful eye of Mrs. Weasley who in her own way acted as a method of birth control. No one was brave enough to fool around with Mrs. Weasley on the prowl. The few times he and Ginny has been involved in that manner Harry had cast protective spells in order to keep out unwanted visitors, but he didn't doubt Mrs. Weasley's determination or ability to surpass his attempts at privacy.

Harry was startled from his thoughts as that same spunky redhead took a seat across from him at the table. "Ello, Harry. Sleep well?"

The question was just a formality, a normal thing that you said when you greeted someone in the morning, but Harry knew that Ginny didn't really mean the question for she was aware of his constant nightmares and failure to engage in a normal sleep cycle. Many nights Harry would wake Ginny up with nightmares and vice versa. They would sit up together into the sinful hours of the morning comforting each other with their presence. They didn't normally speak of their nightmares, but would just sit holding hands, curled up in the safety of human touch, and eventually fall asleep next to each other their breath becoming one.

"Suppose so," Harry answered, another formality. "You?"

Ginny just smiled and filled her plate with toast and eggs. "So Harry," she wriggled her eyebrows and Harry felt he knew where this conversation was headed. "Now that we're back at school, anyone caught your fancy?"

"Oh come on Ginny we've been back for one day how do you expect me to already have my mind on someone?"

Ginny's grin widened. "Yes I know, but there are so many attractive guys Harry you have to at least pick some eye candy!"

Harry blushed and glanced around to make sure no one was listening. He wasn't yet comfortable with people knowing about his sexuality which Ginny was well aware of.

Ginny noticing his suddenly tense demeanor scoffed. "Oh come off it Harry no one can hear us. Plus I don't see why you're so worried. People are going to find out eventually and it's not like it's this horrible thing."

"Maybe not for everyone else, Gin, but I'm 'the chosen one.' When people find out about this they are going to have a field day. I need to be careful about how I go about this." He was aware of the ginger rolling her eyes as she shoveled some eggs into her mouth. "Well how about you then?" Harry grinned slyly. "Any girls caught your fancy?"

Ginny swallowed her food before speaking, a slight blush had creeped into her cheeks. "Like you said Harry it's only been a day, but I'll have you know there are many attractive girls here, and I may or may not have my eye on a couple."

"Oh do tell," Harry grinned. He enjoyed discussing these things with Ginny. He couldn't imagine talking so casually about relationships with anyone else, but Ginny got him and he her.

"Nothing solid yet, Harry." She said between bites of toast and mouthfuls of eggs. "Besides I haven't told anyone in my family yet and I feel like I should do that before I start dating someone."

Ginny was so much more open about her sexuality than Harry although he knew she was more nervous about it than she let on. Other than himself and Hermione, Ginny hadn't told anyone that she was a lesbian. She kept insisting that she was going to say something soon, but he knew it was hard for her to admit. He knew her parents would be understanding if not disappointed. Bill, Charlie, and George probably wouldn't care, but Percy and Ron were a different story. An ache shot through Harry's chest as he thought about the fact that Fred was no longer included in that list, but he knew Fred would have been supportive of him and his sister.

Finishing her last bite of toast Ginny stood to leave. She smiled, "keep an eye out, Harry," winked, and made her way out of the great hall. As the redhead walked away her seat was taken by Hermione accompanied by Ron.

"So, Ron, what happened to you last night?" Harry asked, knowing very well where his best mate had been.

Hermione blushed and Rom grinned. "Oh you know, Harry, just enjoying the freedom that Hogwarts provides."

Freedom apparently contributed to a large appetite because Ron began to fill his plate with everything he could see and easily grab. Soon he had three plates full of eggs, plump little sausages, pancakes dripping in golden syrup, and about five different kinds of pastries. Hermione sighed and took a pastry for herself. "So, what do you guys have as your first class of the year? I'm starting off with ancient runes."

Both of the boys began ruffling in their bags for their schedules, neither of them having memorized their classes.

"Transfiguration," Ron said. "I'm not even sure why I'm taking that class honestly. I don't think it has anything to do with becoming an Auror."

"But it would still be very helpful," Hermione pointed out.

Ron rolled his eyes. "You think every class is helpful 'mione. How bout you 'arry?"

Harry glanced at his schedule and groaned. "Potions, go figure. Ron if we're both aiming to be aurors then why don't we have the same class schedule?"

Ron shrugged, unable to supply words as his mouth was preoccupied with chewing five different types of food at once.

"Well no matter what classes we have we had better get going. We wouldn't want to be late on our first day back."

Harry mentally rolled his eyes. They still had fifteen minutes until class started, and Harry knew he could be in the dungeons in less than five, but to satisfy Hermione he packed up his stuff and prepared to make his way to his most loathed class.

"I'll see you guys at lunch," he said as he made his way out of the great hall and down to slughorns classroom. When he arrived he noticed that he didn't really know anyone in the class. Most of them looked like sixth years and a couple stray fifth years. Not wanting to impose on anyone Harry slipped into a seat at the far left of the classroom near the window so that he could gaze out of it when he got bored (which knowing him would probably be within the first five minutes of class).

The seats began to fill and still no one sat with him. Knowing his luck he would be the only one without a partner and be forced to group with two people he didn't know and who didn't want to know him. The clock showed two minutes till class started. Harry looked around the room and almost cried when he noticed that the only other person without a partner was Pansy Parkinson. There was no way in hell he was going to work with her. He began to frantically glance around the room hoping to catch the eye of someone he could join, but no one was looking at him. He was about to give up when two more students entered the classroom. Harry let out his breath thankful to be safe from working with Parkinson, but the happiness did not last long. Striding into the classroom was Greggory Goyle and none other than Draco Malfoy, Harry's only sworn enemy. Harry buried his head in his arms, despairing at the idea of working with either Goyle or Malfoy, or maybe they would work together and would force Parkinson to move with Harry which was even less desirable. Harry closed his eyes not daring to see how short of a straw he was going to pull when someone sat down next to him and a familiar, drawling voice said. "Already sleeping, Potter? I can see the semester is promising for you."

Harry snapped his head up and glared at the white blonde head and squinting grey eyes that taunted him. "Malfoy," was all he said and placed his head back into the safety of his arms.

"What, not going to speak to me?" Malfoy sneered. "If we're going to be partners all year you will have to learn to be civil." His voice was taunting, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"This is just great," Harry thought, but out loud he said, " I didn't know the word civil was in your vocabulary, Malfoy."

At that Malfoy's features switched from amusement to annoyance. "I will have you know, Potter, that I can be quite civil if it is in my benefit."

"Well if you want to pass this class then you had better make it a top priority."

"Please, Potter, like you're going to be any help to me in this class. I predict that I will do most of the work and you will leech off of my grades and talent."

Before Harry could supply a comeback, a fat, bald wizard appeared before the class and cleared his throat. "Hehm, we will begin today's lesson with a review. You will find on your desk a list of common, everyday potions. You will correctly match the name of the potion to the use of the potion and then you and your partner will agree on one to brew. These are all simple potions that you learned about in your first three years at Hogwarts so I presume none of you will have issues in brewing them. None of them are toxic however if brewed wrong can produce unsavory results, so brew carefully because you will be testing these potions on each other."

A loud murmur went through the classroom at the professor's words. "Alright calm down. None of you will die. Now I suggest you get busy because you only have an hour and fifteen minutes left to successfully match and brew your potions."

Harry scanned the list of potions and uses. There were a couple that he recognized, but for the rest of them he was lost. As he was squinting at his paper he heard Malfoy sigh.

"Can't even match a few potions potter? Honestly you're a nightmare. How did you even get into this class?"

Harry, choosing to ignore this, continued to squint at his paper.

"Here, Potter, please. You're giving me a headache."

Malfoy pushed something against Harry's arm to get his attention. When the struggling wizard looked over he had to force himself to keep his mouth from gaping open as he realized what Malfoy was giving him. A completed list of the matched potions. Harry squinted his eyes and glared at Malfoy. "Is this a joke?"

Malfoy gasped and dramatically held his hand to his chest in mock insult. "Why would you say that, Potter, my poor feelings. I only want to help my dear dear potions partner with his work."

"Shove off," Harry supplied.

"Tsk tsk, Potter, it seems you're the one having trouble being civil. Anyways, I think we should brew the gingfretta potion. It's an easy little potion that supplies the drinker with hours of fresh breath despite eating and other activities." At other activities Malfoy wiggled his eyes in a suggestive manner. "It is quite easy to brew and uses simple ingredients. Plus it is hard to mess up which will be good for you. I think the only side effect is that if brewed improperly your teeth will take on a slightly yellow tinge for a few hours. Nothing worth a hospital visit. I wrote down the ingredients, so if you will go fetch these from the storeroom we can say you contributed to the potion in some way, shape, or form." Malfoy handed Harry another sheet of paper with a short list of ingredients.

Harry, surprised by Malfoys actual attempts at civility, despite the few jabs that he threw into his speech which Harry had indeed caught, only managed,"whatever, Malfoy," as he made his way towards the storeroom to gather the ingredients.

As Malfoy brewed the potion, stirring, adding ingredients, and giving Harry the occasional instruction, Harry found himself oddly captivated. Captivated by Malfoy? He would never admit that, but there was just something about the concentration on his face, the furrow of his brow as he focused on the task in front of him that was so mesmerizing.

"Potter. Are you even listening, Potter?"

Harry snapped out of the trance he had been in.

"I know I'm pretty, Potter, but honestly there's no need to gawk," Malfoy grinned.

Harry tried to hide the blush that began to creep it's way onto his cheeks. Why was he blushing? It was true he had been staring at Malfoy, but it wasn't because he's pretty. It wasn't, he reassured himself, mentally scolding himself for entertaining the idea that he could find Draco fucking Malfoy attractive. No he was merely impressed by his mastery in potions.

"I wasn't gawking." He said finally.

Malfoy gave him a look that seemed to say "yeah right" and then held up a glass with a pleasingly colored blue substance in it.

"Well I was trying to tell you that the potion is ready, and I'm going to test it."

Harry just shrugged. Malfoy rolled his silver grey eyes and threw his head back swallowing the potion.

"Did it work?" Harry asked.

"Well I'm not sure. I can't very well smell my own breath." The slytherin moved towards Harry until his face was inches from the boy who lived. Harry felt his heart stop in his chest. Having Malfoy so close seemed strangely intimate. Malfoy's eyes locked with Harry's. They were full of amusement, but as Harry stared he caught something else in the boy's eyes. Confusion? Longing? Then slowly the blonde blew a gentle breath across Harry's face. Harry gasped not trusting himself to move or breath as the tingling sensation of spearmint danced across his skin. What was wrong with him? It seemed like an eternity before Malfoy realized how close they were. He quickly backed up and coughed.

"Ehhem, did it.. Did it work?"

There seemed to be a strange awkwardness passing over the two of them. Harry had never seen his enemy look so stunned. Harry, finding his voice said," er, yeah I guess it did."

"Well boys what do we have here?" The overweight potions master said a little too loudly startling both Harry and Draco who simultaneously jumped. Slughorn didn't seem to notice as he was checking out their potion. "Ah a fresh breath potion, very easy, very good choice." He dipped his finger in the potion and tasted it. "You appear to have perfected it! But I wouldn't expect less from my top two students!"

Harry had forgotten that Slughorn saw him as a top student. The last time Harry had been in this class he had been using tips from The Half Blood Prince, who he now knew to be Severus Snape, the previous potions master. Harry knew that Slughorn would not think so highly of him if the boy was forced to do his own work, but he had Malfoy, who was actually gifted in potions, as his partner which now that he thought about it, was quite lucky.

"Excellent work boys! You're free to head to your next class."

Harry quickly shoved his quill back into his bag and left the classroom before he had time to speak to Malfoy, but he had the odd feeling that the Slytherin's eyes were on him the whole way out of the classroom.

Draco was stunned. What had he been thinking putting himself so close to Harry Potter? "Distance, Draco, distance," he thought. "You've spent all these years distancing yourself from that boy, and there's no reason to stop now. It doesn't matter that the war is over and the dark lord is gone, it doesn't matter that your own parents are out of your life forever.."

Draco's heart skipped a beat at his own thoughts. He hated thinking about his parents. His mother, forced to live the rest of her life in the Azkaban prison, his father, dead. Nothing was left for him. The Malfoy name was shattered. All that he had was an empty mansion that he never wanted to return to and a flimsy education that was his only hope for a future. If he even had a future. No one would want him, not with the hideous mark that was branded into his left forearm. Draco had tried so many things to remove that mark, the mark he had never wanted. So many methods of torture, potions, he had tried to carve the skin off with a knife, burn away the image because he would rather have a hideous scar than the mark he now bore, but every morning when he woke up, the mark was back, a reminder of his failures, the horrible things he had done. It had become a sort of ritual for him, trying to remove the mark. A way to punish himself while simultaneously trying to make up for his past. And Potter.. Potter who had been a constant presence in his life while not technically being a presence at all. How could he think Potter would want him after all these years of hatred? Draco had never wanted to be Potter's enemy. He had actually wanted to be his friend rather badly that first year of Hogwarts when he was eleven. He wasn't particularly sure when the longing for friendship had changed to something else, a longing for something more, something physical, emotional, passionate. A secret obsession that he had harbored for years. Every time he saw Potter his heart would race, his hands would grow clammy as he hoped that maybe this time they wouldn't fight, maybe this time they wouldn't hate each other as they always had, maybe this time they would reconcile. And every time his hopes were diminished as Potter spoke with his usual loathing and Draco was forced to twist his face into a sneer and insult the only boy that had ever captured his attention, the only one who had ever commanded his lust. He always told himself that it was better the way things were. Potter hating him, like he should. After all, Draco's father would have never approved of the fact that his only son was boned for the boy who lived. It would have made situations with his father so much worse.. But now Lucius was dead, So why did Draco still find himself hesitant to pursue at least a friendship with the sloppy haired Gryffindor? Not that Harry would want a friendship with a Malfoy, but then again in potions today, when he had gotten close to Harry, they had seemed to share a moment that he couldn't explain. It made him want to try, actually try, to develop a relationship with this boy, for when he looked into Harry Potters eyes he didn't see a hero, he saw a boy, broken, just like himself.

Already a week had gone by and Hogwarts was in full swing. Harry had been deemed captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team and he had held tryouts yesterday afternoon, forming what he was certain would be a solid team. Studies were going as good as one would expect in their first week back although Harry was immensely struggling at potions. It was much harder now that he didn't have the help of the Half Blood Prince who was to thank for all of his success his sixth year. Having Malfoy as his partner was definitely helping his grades, but he actually needed to learn how to brew potions instead of letting his partner do all the work for him. Today they were brewing a potion Harry had never heard of. It was called Plethera and it was supposed to be a very difficult potion that the class would be brewing over the course of the entire week. It took seven days to brew, each day with specific steps. If you messed up a single step the potion was ruined, and could not be used. From what Harry understood it was a healing potion that had recently been invented after the war. It's purpose was to regrow body parts that had been lost. It only worked on small body parts, the biggest ever accomplished being a hand. If you were missing a leg or an arm or a foot you were out of luck. The potion was extremely expensive to make, and Hogwarts was supposed to be donating their successful batches to Saint Mungos. Harry was certain that he would manage to mess up their potion if he tried to help so he was going to let Malfoy do all of the work, but it turned out that you had to have two people working on it because at times you had to stir clockwise and counterclockwise at the same time or add four ingredients at once much to Harry's dismay. As Malfoy stirred the cauldron and added ingredients Harry crushed, cut, and juiced items in preparation.

"Shredded Boomslang skin," Malfoy said holding out his hand. Harry handed him the skins, and began to dice half of a dragon's heart.

"I'll need you to add the next ingredient. It needs to be added within the next minute so hurry up."

Harry grabbed the heart pieces and made to dump them into the cauldron.

"Potter, stop! Potter!"

Harry looked up to see Malfoy's eyes widened. "It says half of a dragon's heart CHOPPED not diced! Those could ruin the whole potion!"

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, slightly annoyed at the other boys anger.

"Don't be sorry just fix it!" Malfoy hissed while continuing to stir his potion. "Thirty seconds, potter!"

Harry quickly grabbed the other half of the Dragon's heart and chopped it into rough pieces before tossing it into the pot.

Malfoy's shoulders relaxed as the potion sizzled and turned lime green. "Okay good, that's what's supposed to happen. We don't have to do anything else to it until tomorrow when we add the dust of flower pixies and measure out 2oz of the potion to add back later." Malfoy paused and looked at Harry with a scrutinizing eye. "That was a close call, Potter. Your potions skills are far below perfect, but honestly that was such a rooky mistake."

Harry opened his mouth to say something,but he was cut off by the blonde Slytherin.

"I just can't spend all year working with someone who can't even chop a dragon's heart. There's only one solution I'm afraid."

Harry was expecting the boy to demand that Slughorn give him another partner, so he was completely caught off guard at Malfoy's next words.

"I'm going to tutor you."

"You can't jus… What now?"

"Tutor you Potter," Malfoy said rolling his eyes. He held up a hand to stop Harry from speaking. "It's my only solution, and if you don't agree to it I'm going to have to insist on getting a new partner."

When Harry didn't say anything Malfoy smiled. Not the normal stuck up grin he wore, no he bore a genuine smile. "Good," he said. "Meet me back in here tonight after dinner. I'll tell Slughorn we want to use the classroom for extra studying measures. He's sure to allow it," and with that the taller boy picked up his books and swept out of the classroom.

At dinner that night Harry contemplated telling the others of his tutoring session with a certain Slytherin. Under normal circumstances he would have brought it up first thing, complaining about being stuck with that prick. Hermione would apologize, but say that maybe it was a good idea. Ron would fume and threaten to fight someone for him, but for some reason this didn't feel like normal circumstances. For some odd reason he was actually looking forward to spending more time with Malfoy. Was he going mad? Did he seriously just think that spending time with Malfoy was.. Was enjoyable? He must be going crazy. But when he thought back to the past week Malfoy had been quite civil. No, not just civil, friendly. It was so strange. Malfoy had never been friendly towards Harry before. Or maybe he had and Harry just hadn't bothered to notice. He thought back to first year when Draco Malfoy had actually tried to become friends with him. He considered the time in defense against the dark arts when Malfoy had hidden behind him to avoid encountering the boggart. He thought about all the times his conversations with Malfoy started out well and only turned bad once he or Ron or someone else stirred the pot. He thought about the time he, Ron, and Hermione had been caught by snatchers and taken to Malfoy Manor. Malfoy had lied to his parents and the death eaters about Harry's identity and the boy had never understood why. He remembered finding the boy crying in the bathroom, and saving Malfoy's life in the room of requirement, and the way Malfoy hesitated to join Voldemort's side when everyone thought Harry was dead. Maybe Harry was the one who had been continuing the rivalry all these years when the other boy only wanted to be friends.

A sick feeling twisted in his gut at the thought of him misinterpreting Malfoy's feelings for eight years. Maybe friendship was still an option. Although when Harry really thought about it he wondered if friendship was all that Malfoy desired. It was crazy to even consider it, but the past week in potions the moments they shared seemed to consist of something more than a platonic friendship. Malfoy being so close to him, the feeling of his breath on Harry's face, the occasional bumps and touches that could be coincidental or maybe not.

"Stop it, Harry, you're reading into it too much," he thought. However, the harder he tried to reassure himself that there was nothing between him and Malfoy the less he believed it. It was daft, crazy, even repulsive that he would be attracted to his only true enemy, but as he thought of Malfoy's pale blonde hair, and light grey eyes that held so many secrets, Harry found himself wanting to unlock those secrets, and in the process, really get to know this boy who he called his enemy.

Harry entered the potions classroom hesitantly. He tensed as he saw Malfoy already seated at the table, a cutting board and set of ingredients laid out before him.

"Well come sit down, Potter, we don't have all night."

Harry slowly made his way to the table and sat down in the seat next to Malfoy. He set his bag on the floor and looked at his tutor expectantly.

"Alright, Potter, tonight we're going to work on different ways to prepare ingredients since that's what got us here in the first place." There seemed to be a hint of amusement in the blondes voice as if Harry's struggle with simple tasks was entertaining to him.

"When we are done with these ingredients we will put them back in the storeroom labeled as already prepared because it would be a waste to throw them out. You already know how to shred boomslang skip pretty well so first I want you to show me the difference between chopped, diced, and minced goat liver."

Harry went through a variety of ingredients chopping, juicing, powdering, and skinning upon Malfoy's instruction, sometimes having to redo a step when it was not good enough for his perfectionist tutor.

"Okay, Potter, slice these galla nuts according to this potion's instruction."

Harry grabbed the knife and began to slice away at the squishy nuts.

"No, you're making the slices too big. Watch me."

Malfoy took the knife and demonstrated the proper way to slice the nuts. "Okay now try again."

Harry took the knife back and began to slice, but now the pieces were coming out uneven.

"Now you're being too rough. You need to use slow and gentle strokes. Here."

Harry made to hand Malfoy the knife so that he could demonstrate again, but instead the boy walked behind Harry. He wrapped his arms around the Gryffindor, using one hand to hold the nut they were slicing and placing his other on top of Harry's. Harry's breath caught in his throat as Malfoy's skin rested on his. His hands were soft..

"You just have to.." Malfoy cleared his throat his voice having become oddly hoarse. "You just have to keep your wrist steady and move your arm like this."

Their arms began to move in unison slicing the Galla Nut into perfect little pieces. Harry however, didn't find himself focusing on the correct execution of the slice. Instead he found himself captured by the touch of his Slytherin tutor.

The nut was now sliced, but Malfoy's hand was still resting on Harry's. Harry's back was pressed into Malfoy's chest, and the taller boy's long hair was dangling over Harry, tickling the back of his neck. Harry felt himself shift, almost involuntarily, so that he was hesitantly resting against Malfoy. The other boy shifted as well leaning into Harry who felt a shock of electricity shoot through his body making him feel hot and shaky. Malfoy brought his left hand around, and it brushed against Harry's hip sending more heat waves up his side. Harry turned so that his back wasn't pressing into Malfoy, his chest now inches from contact with the chest of the blonde boy. Malfoy's other hand, that wasn't currently resting on Harry's, lightly came to lay on Harry's arm. The pressure was scarce, the hand more lingering than holding Harry. The light touch seemed to imply a question like, "is this okay?" Harry didn't know the answer to that question. He raised his head and looked into those soft grey eyes, and saw once again the longing he had glimpsed over the past week. He saw the question of what they were doing, but behind that he saw something else. Something dark and shattered. Something that weighed on this poor boy's heart like an anchor prohibiting a ship from sailing the seas.

The eye contact only lasted a minute before Malfoy broke away from his grip on Harry. He turned his head, but before he shielded his eyes Harry saw sadness and the closing of a door that had been slightly cracked open moments before. Harry's body suddenly felt cold and isolated upon losing the warm touch of the former death eater. He didn't understand it. The connection was too weird. A death eater and the chosen one? There was no way. But he couldn't deny the fluttering of his heart as Malfoy spoke his next words.

"That's enough for tonight. You can go."

"But what about the ingridi.."

"I'll clean them up." Malfoy cut Harry off in an almost cold manner. "Tomorrow, same time, same place."

Malfoy turned and began to clean up the ingredients. He didn't once turn to look at Harry.

Harry picked up his bag, cast one longing look at the broken boy before him and began to make his way to the Gryffindor dormitories.

Harry hardly slept that night. The nightmares were too much. Every time he fell asleep he would wake up minutes later in a cold sweat, fear gripping his chest. Visions of loved ones swam through his mind, voices blaming him for lives ended too soon. He relived the moment of Voldemort's death over and over in his head, but in his dreams Voldemort didn't die, instead he grew stronger, laughing at Harry for his pointless hope. George loomed before him clutching the body of his dead twin and screaming, screaming at Harry for causing this tragedy. Teddy sat in a chair crying over pictures of his dead parents, Lupin's pale figure creeping up behind his son, reaching out to touch him, but never making contact because he was on the wrong side of the vale of life. Bellatrix Lestrange laughing and dancing around a pool of blood, her eyes gleaming with humor. It was all too much to handle.

Harry sat up feeling sick to his stomach. He reached for his wand lighting the tip so that he wouldn't feel crushed by darkness. Ron lay peacefully asleep on the bed next to Harry. He felt envious of the fact that Ron could sleep so easily. He knew that was selfish, he wouldn't wish these nightmares on anyone, but he didn't understand how someone could go through such a war and come out unscathed. Then again, they were all broken in their own ways.

Draco lay in his bed staring at the ceiling of his private dorm room. What the fuck was wrong with him? He replayed the events of the night over and over in his head. Harry messing up the potion ingredients, himself reaching around the boy to fix it, his hand on Harry's hand his other on Harry's arm, Harry leaning into him, looking into his eyes. At any point had the other boy seemed scared? Had he ever seemed repulsed or unwilling? No, Draco told himself, he hadn't. Confused, yes, curious, so it seemed, but not angry, disgusted, or refusing. None of the things that Draco would expect.

"It still isn't acceptable," he said out loud to no one in particular. "Distance, Draco, distance." But he didn't want distance, not anymore, not ever really. He had distanced himself from Harry in the past because he had no other choice, he had distanced himself from the boy during the war to protect him, but now.. What was standing in his way?

A sudden pain shot through his arm, and he pulled up his left sleeve to reveal the mark that tarnished his skin. The dark mark. If there was one reason in the whole world not to pursue Harry Potter this was it. The son of a death eater.. No, an actual death eater, should not ruin the life of the savior of the wizarding world.

The mark on his arm pulsed again and Draco bit back a yell. The skin began to ripple, something wriggling beneath the surface as if an actual snake was trapped inside his body. The skin heating up like a furnace burning Draco with white hot pain. The boy fell to his his knees and let out an anguished scream as the skin on his arm seemed to tear. Draco clawed at the symbol on his arm, peeling away the skin, bringing blood to the surface of his body and spilling it onto the floor, his own crimson tide. He could hear his father's voice in his mind yelling at him, calling him scum.

"You don't deserve forgiveness! You're useless!"

He could hear the hate in his father's voice, the spells he unleashed on the fragile figure of his only son.

"You are a Malfoy! We don't forgive, we teach! You will learn boy, if I don't do anything else on this earth except for teach you that you are nothing on your own then I will have lived a good and full life. Do you hear me?! You are nothing! You do nothing but fail me, fail the dark lord, you are a disgrace, Draco, a Disgrace!"

Draco's body seized as his father's voice rang in his head. He collapsed on the floor spasming as the mark on his arm continued to crawl, the creature writhing trying to break free. Blood, skin, and sweat mingled on the floor all from Draco's tortured body. He cursed himself as tears flooded his eyes spilling out against his will and running down his grimy face. Harry didn't deserve this weakness, this broken excuse for a human. His father was right, he was worthless, nothing. He screamed as another set of pain wracked his body. He screamed cursing his father's name and everything that he had put his only son through. Draco's heart hallowed with the empty space that should have been filled with a father's love, but was left unattended and abused. One more shock rippled through the boys worn out body then he rolled over and puked onto the floor. He continued to throw up until there was nothing left and he felt as if he may puke out his organs. Then he collapsed once more shaking onto the floor, deep breaths sounding like gasps for life, and fell asleep in a puddle of his own misery and failure.

Harry looked up as a familiar red head marched towards him looking murderous.

"Ginny what's the matter?"

Ginny fumed, slamming herself into the seat next to Harry at the Gryffindor table in the great hall.

"You want to know what's wrong, Harry? My goddamn family is what's fucking wrong!"

Harry knew that Ginny had a dirty mouth, but she didn't normally portray her words with such violence or force.

"Okay, what happened?"

She looked at him dead in the eye, and he saw the little fire that always sparked when she was extra pissed.

"I told my family that I'm a lesbian."

Harry opened his mouth, thought better of it, and closed it again. The ginger looked at him expectantly as if waiting for him to say something so he carefully picked through his mind for something decent to say. It was not good to cross Ginny when she was angry. The last time Harry did that she had hexed him into tomorrow.

"Er.. What did they say?"

"I'll tell you what they said! Dad was fine with it! He didn't seem concerned in the least, but mum oh mum..!" Harry could see the anger building up in Ginny's mind. Sometimes he feared that she would get so angry her head would literally explode.

"Mum freaked out! She sent me a howler yelling at me about how this is a disgrace and that I am her only daughter and she will not accept me liking girls! You know what else she said? She said that if I ever bring a girl home she is disowning me on the spot! Can you believe her?!" Before Harry could answer she continued. "I told George what she said and he said I could always come live with him if I needed. He's so sweet. He was perfectly fine with me being gay although I knew he would be. Charlie didn't care either. Bill said he didn't approve, but it's my life and all that bull shit. I didn't even bother to tell Percy because I don't give a shit about his opinion, and Ron was so mad that he's not talking to me. He said it was hard enough accepting that you're queer. He apparently can't handle his sister being queer as well. He's such a baby, acting like it's all about him! They all just make me so mad!" She stopped to breathe having said all of this in what seemed to be one breath. Harry waited to see if she was going to speak again before saying, "well shit Ginny I didn't think they would take it so badly."

"Me neither! I mean I knew they wouldn't be thrilled, but honestly this is bullshit."

"So does this mean you have a girlfriend?"

Ginny's face suddenly brightened, and she clasped her hands together. "Oh yes! In my anger I forgot to tell you! I'm dating Ginger Thomas!"

"Ginger Thomas? As in Dean Thomas's sister? Your ex boyfriend Dean Thomas?"

"Yes, I know it's a little awkward, but he's happy for us Harry! Plus he's over me. He has another girlfriend now, someone from Ravenclaw, and he just wants his sister to be happy."

"Well that's great Gin!" And it really was. Harry was happy that at least Ginny wasn't having difficulty in the romance department. Harry was still very confused about a certain blonde Slytherin.

"Thanks Harry! What about you? Any boys caught your fancy?"

Harry hesitated. Should he tell her about what had happened between him and Draco? He decided he should. If anyone would have insight on the situation it would be Ginny.

While he was telling her, her eyebrows crept higher and higher. When he finished the story she gave him a pericellular look.

"Well?" He asked hesitantly. "What do you think it means?"

"Well it sounds to me like Draco Malfoy has the hots for a certain hero."

Harry's heart seemed to skip a trillion beats. He had thought so, but it seemed too good to be true. Or too bad.

"Don't get too excited Harry, and be careful. I'm not saying you shouldn't go for it, but everyone knows that you and Draco Malfoy have been enemies for years. People may not take kindly to the chosen one, and savior of the wizarding world being gay for a death eater traitor."

Harry felt a flush of anger at the words "death eater" and "traitor."

"Don't talk about him like that Ginny. He's not a traitor. He was put into a bad situation and made choices he thought were necessary. It doesn't mean he's a bad person."

Ginny raised her eyebrows again. "I'm just saying be careful."

"Ginny!"

Harry and Ginny both turned to see a tall brunette witch waving in their direction. She had soft features, and her face was covered in a splay of freckles.

"Well, Ginger is calling me. Good talk Harry, and remember, be careful."

Harry nodded, and Ginny, seemingly satisfied, hurried to catch up with her girlfriend.

"Be cool, Draco. Don't do anything stupid." Draco paced back and forth in the potions classroom that evening waiting for Harry to arrive for their tutoring session. Yesterday had been so confusing. It was perfect and horrifying at the same time, and Draco didn't know if he would be able to contain his hopes that tonight would be the same, but then he thought about last night alone in his room. He thought of his father and the mark on his arm. The convulsions happened often. It was a pain that he constantly went through as if Voldemort was reminding him of his loyalties even after the bastard was dead. Was he selfish for desiring a relationship with Harry? It certainly seemed that way.

"Are you alright?"

Draco turned. Harry was standing in the doorway looking slightly sheepish as if he had stepped in on a private moment. Draco wondered how long the boy had been watching him and if he could tell the conflict of Draco's mind and heart.

"I'm fine," he snapped a little too harshly because Harry looked taken aback and slightly hurt.

"I was just thinking," he said a little softer this time. "Tonight we will be working on brewing a simple potion so that you can practice your stirring technique. As you know different potions require different stirring methods. This potion is one you should be familiar with. It is a love potion we experimented with third year." Draco's voice cracked at the word love. The act of making a love potion with Harry Potter made him feel awkward and giddy at the same time.

He continued, ignoring Harry's raised eyebrows. "The love potion is not very powerful. It creates a mild fancy on the drinker for a mere half hour. It is not a potion to make one fall in love with you, it is a potion to make them realize their attraction to you. If the drinker has any sort of feeling for the giver they will be ignited for a short period of time, however, once the potion wears off the feelings will stay because they are true. The receiver will be surrounded by a light glow that is only viewable to the giver while the potion is in effect. The colors, listed in this book, refer to the level of attraction the receiver feels. White means no attraction, blue means curious, light pink means a mere crush etc. If the drinker has no feelings towards the giver then nothing will happen other than the white glow. Do you understand?"

"Er, yeah," Harry said. "Why are we brewing a love potion though?"

Draco blushed. The truth was he wanted to use the potion on Harry to see if he was completely mad at the thought that the boy might be interested in him. Instead he said, "I'm not sure. Slughorn requested we work on this potion. I assume he needs it for some reason, that is why we will both be brewing a batch." He gestured to the two cauldrons before them. "Well let's get started. We don't want to waste time when I could be back in my room resting."

Draco and Harry both opened the book and began preparing the ingredients for the potion. Draco noticed that Harry's cutting and slicing skills were greatly improved from just one session with him. He appeared to be a better teacher than he thought and considered that maybe he should be a potions master when he graduated.

Every now and then he would glance at Harry, purely to make sure he was correctly brewing his potion of course, and correct his errors as needed. After an hour of constant work and continued silence the potions were finished and Draco felt his stomach tie up in knots. This was the moment of truth.

He stared at the two potions. His was a perfect shade of magenta. Harry's was slightly lighter, but Draco knew it was so near perfect that it would do the job.

"Well," Harry said breaking the silence. "Now what? Should we bottle them up for Slughorn?"

"Don't be daft Harry. We have to test them and make sure they work before we tell Slughorn they are ready for use."

Harry looked taken aback. "Test them? On who?"

Draco rolled his eyes, but on the inside he felt as if he might be sick. "On each other," he managed, and the feeling of sickness intensified at the look of horror on the Gryffindors face.

" Oh come on, Potter," he said forcing his face into a sneer. "If they are good then nothing will happen and we will both be surrounded by a faint white light. Unless you're scared that your light will turn a different color." He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and prayed that he didn't sound hopeful. He was putting a lot on the line with this because he had a fair idea of what color his light would be. If Harry's really was white Draco would be mortified.

"No of course I'm not worried about that," Harry insisted, although he didn't look convinced. "Let's just get on with it."

Draco nodded and each boy took a ladle and spooned some of their potion into a glass. They then passed the glasses to each other. Draco gulped. Was it just his imagination or was Harry's arm shaking?

"Bottoms up," Harry said, and they both threw their heads back and gulped down the potion.

It was a pleasant potion, tasting sweet and cool as it trickled down Draco's throat. Once it hit his stomach he felt an odd warm sensation spreading through his body. He looked up at Harry who was staring intently at him, his mouth forming an o and his eyes raising in surprise. Draco looked down at himself, but he could not see whatever color clad his body.

Glancing back at Harry he noticed a colored light forming around the boy. His heart fluttered at the realization that Harry's light was not white, but instead a deep blue color. Draco snapped up the potions book and searched for the definition of the color surrounding Harry Potter's body.

He read, "Deep blue is the color of curiosity and longing. The one who bears this color feels a deep attraction to the giver of the potion which they do not understand. They realize that they are physically and romantically attracted to the other person, but are afraid of what they feel and, as a result, often do not act on their feelings unless their giver acts first."

Draco looked up at Harry who's mouth was still hanging open.

"What.." Harry started. "What color am I?"

"Deep blue," Draco responded.

Harry walked over to Draco, stood next to him, and grazed his eyes across the book reading the definition of dark blue. When he was done his eyes lifted to Draco's.

"What.."

Harry cut him off. "You're maroon."

The two boys leaned into the book and read the caption for the color maroon.

"The one who bears the color maroon holds a love that is long and true. They do not feel a mere attraction to their giver, but a strong connection and desire that has been with them for years. The color maroon is often seen in strong marriages or long time friendships in which one or both people's friendship forms into a loving bond. The color maroon does not have to be requited, as the giver may not have feelings that are as strong or as long lasting as the receiver. However, the giver can rest assured that the feelings their receiver has towards them are genuine and strong. The maroon bearer is not soon to sway away from their feelings which are often correlated with 'true love.'

Draco felt a blush creep up his cheeks as Harry's eyes broke away from the book and back up to Draco. Maybe this had been a terrible idea. Surely this knowledge would scare Harry away and Draco would be left forever mortified. However, as Draco watched, the colors surrounding the boy who lived did not change to white or to a color of disgust, but stayed the deep shade of blue.

Draco was aware of Harry's eyes on his and the close proximity of their bodies. His breathing intensified as he gazed back into those emerald green eyes, the ones that he had always dreamed of being caught up in, of the privilege of unbroken contact. As he watched he could see the question forming even before Harry spoke the words.

"What do you want from me?"

For a moment Draco wasn't sure that the words had been spoken out loud until Harry said them again.

"Malfoy, what do you want from me?"

Draco looked down at his feet. Harry knew what he longed for, what he had wanted for years. Yet, he still asked the question, and despite all of the times Draco had gone through this moment in his mind, of all the scenarios he had come up with, he could not find the words he wanted to say.

"I want.." He looked back into Harry's beautiful green eyes and his heart clenched. What he wanted was a partner. He wanted to grab Harry and never let him go. He wanted to kiss him senseless anytime and anywhere he pleased. He wanted to walk through the corridors hand in hand and laugh at the odd looks people gave them. He wanted to lay by the pond on cool spring mornings, Harry's head in his lap and him playing with the boys unruly hair as Harry talked about their future together. He wanted to know Harry's deepest secrets and darkest fears. He wanted to have someone to call out to when his pain was too much and the nightmares of his father brought tears to his eyes. He wanted a love that was passionate and wild and true, but he didn't say these things, the things he longed for. Instead he said," I don't want to be enemies anymore. I want to be friends with you."

Harry looked at him slightly shocked as if that was not what he was expecting, and Draco imagined it wasn't. Harry seemed geared for a love confession and looked startled by the lack of one.

"That can't be all you want," he stated. "Not if the color around your body is anything to go by."

"What do you want?" Draco asked.

Harry hesitated. "I'm not sure. I think.. I think I want you, but i'm not sure how."

Draco nodded in understanding. "Maybe.. Maybe we can start over, be friends, and see how it goes from there?"

Harry nodded. Then he smiled and stuck out his hand. "I'm Potter, Harry Potter. I know over the years you've made friends with the wrong sorts, but it's never too late to start again, I can help you there."

Draco looked Harry dead in the eye. "I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself thanks."

For a moment Harry looked confused, then recognition formed on his face and he smiled. Draco laughed, actually laughed, as he took Harry's hand in his and shook it.

"I'm Draco Malfoy, and I believe we are going to be great friends."

Harry laughed also, "Well Draco Malfoy what do you say we sort these love potions into bottles for Slughorn and be on our way."

Draco blushed. "Actually," he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his his hand, "Slughorn didn't really tell me to brew these potions."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "No, I supposed he didn't." Harry waved his wand, and the potions disappeared along with the extra ingredients. One more wave and everything was cleaned up and spotless.

"Well," Harry smiled. "Shall we be on our way?"

Draco walked Harry back to the Gryffindor common room. The two boys smiled and laughed the whole time talking about their many shortcomings over the years.

"Remember that time you pretended to be a dementor to scare me during quidditch?"

"Oh, but you totally fell for it! Nice patronus by the way."

"Thanks, what's yours?"

"I actually haven't learned that spell so I'm not sure."

"Oh, I'm totally teaching it to you sometime."

"Okay awesome! Oh man what about that time Weasley tried to hex me and ended up belching slugs for the rest of the day."

"That was awful! Let's not forget the time Mad Eye turned you into a ferret."

"Well it wasn't really Mad Eye, and I actually do prefer to forget that."

Before long the boys arrived outside of the portrait of the fat lady.

"Well," Draco spoke nervously. "It was great to finally have a conversation with you without trying to kill each other."

Harry laughed, "yeah it really was!"

Draco hesitated. He had the urge to hug the boy, but guys who were just friends didn't often hug each other. Instead he just said, "Night, Harry."

Harry looked at him astonished, and Draco realized that was the first time he had ever called Harry by his first name.

To his relief the boy grinned. "Night, Draco." Then he turned and disappeared through the portrait hole.

There was a skip in Draco's step and a smile on his face the whole way back to the dungeons, and for the first time in a long time he was able to sleep without any nightmare.

Over the next month Draco and Harry became quite close. They spent an alarming amount of time together, and the whole school was abuzz with the fact that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, sworn enemies, had become friends. At first people whispered and gossiped, coming up with their own theories for the reconciliation. Many of the theories revolved around the fact that Draco's family were known followers of Voldemort, and Draco was trying to get close to Harry in order to finish Voldemort's work. Some people claimed that Harry and Draco had been star crossed lovers during the war, and now that their lives were no longer in danger they could finally be together. Some said that Harry and Draco had been friends all along, and had hidden the fact to throw off Voldemort and his followers, and Draco had been secretly working as a double agent, but none of the rumors were completely true (although they weren't all completely false either). Now that it had been a while since the initial shock of seeing the two unlikely companions together had faded, people gossiped less, and had come to accept the fact the the boy who lived and the former death eater were now friends. Although many of the initial rumors speculated at a romance between the two boys, people didn't realize that this was actually the case. There was nothing official, but Draco was hoping that their relationship would continue to form into the romantic relationship he had always wanted. Right now he and Harry were just friends, but there were the lingering touches, the subtle glances, the light flirtatious behavior, that seemed to progress as the weeks went by.

Today Harry and Draco were putting in a little extra practice on the quidditch pitch. Draco whistled carrying his broom under his arm and hunching his shoulders against the nip of the late November air. Harry was already on the field, his broom lying on the ground next to him, his normally messy hair even wilder due to the bitter cold wind.

"Are you sure you want to practice today? I would much rather curl up inside with a nice cup of hot chocolate."

Harry grinned. "We can do that after practice. First I want to beat your ass." He held up a golden snitch, wings buzzing. "Race me?"

Draco laughed. "Oh you're so on!"

Harry released the golden ball and it whizzed away. The boys mounted their brooms and took off into the clear sky.

Draco squinted against the cold, trying to catch sight of his prize, but it was hard to focus with the icy wind slicing daggers into his face. After ten minutes of fruitless flying Draco was about to complain to Harry about the cold and demand they go inside when he noticed the boy whizzing through the air, arm outstretched.

"Not today," Draco thought. He wrapped his hands around his nimbus and zoomed in Harry's direction. The other boy was closing in on the snitch. Draco gave his broom everything it had as he came up beside the talented seeker. The snitch zoomed upwards and Draco swerved in front of Harry, cutting him off, and bounded after the snitch.

"Hey!" The other boy yelled. Draco glanced back and saw Harry leaning into his broom picking up speed.

Draco reached out his hand the snitch almost in his grasp. Harry's hand appeared next to him and the two boys were racing skyward neck in neck for the snitch. Harry grinned at Draco, who was momentarily distracted by the boys dazzling smile. This gave Harry the chance he needed. He rammed his side into Draco, sending the blonde tumbling off course, and wrapped his fingers around the sneaky little ball.

The two landed on the ground, panting yet smiling.

"You little sneak," Draco accused. "Playing dirty is not nice."

Harry grinned mischievously. He leaned over and whispered in Draco's ear, a lustful glint in his eye. "I thought you liked it when I play dirty."

A shiver ran through Draco's body. Harry's lips were so close that they brushed lightly against his ear. Oh how he longed to kiss those beautiful lips. To take Harry in his arms and kiss him all over. The past few weeks had been wonderful yet also torturous. Draco knew that he couldn't hold out much longer. Soon he would have to make Harry his.

Harry moved away from Draco slowly and seductively running his hand down Draco's arm sending fresh shock waves through the blonde.

"How about that hot chocolate?" Harry grinned.

Draco could tell that Harry knew exactly what he was doing to the Slytherin.

"Harry you tease," he frowned.

Harry just grinned wider and took Draco's hand dragging him towards the castle.

"Oh, come on. I'll get Winky to fetch us something warm."

Twenty minutes later the two boys were changed and curled up by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Two steaming mugs of hot coco in their hands and bowls of vegetable beef stew on the table in front of them. There was technically a rule that students weren't allowed in other house common rooms, but no one really followed that rule. Across the room a ravenclaw girl was studying with her friends, and a Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were making out in the corner.

Draco looked at Harry who was curled next to him, his head on the Slytherin's shoulder. He stroked Harry's hair absentmindedly with his left hand while sipping cocoa with his right. It was peaceful and warm and everything he had always wished. Everything except that Harry wasn't his yet.

"Draco?" Harry asked, breaking the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

"You know you can ask me anything."

There was a moment before Harry spoke again. "Why did you do it? I know there was more to it than people thought, and I know you didn't really want to do it. So why did you? Why did you join Voldemort and become a death eater?"

Draco tensed. This question was so complicated. He wasn't sure if he was prepared to answer it's so sporadically .

"You don't have to answer," Harry added. "If you don't want to."

"No, that's not it. It's just.." Draco sighed. He knew he owed Harry an explanation. He owed an explanation to everyone.

"My father had always been a conosouer of the dark arts. Apon Voldemort's rise to power he and my mother were some of the first to join him. They sought him out and swore their loyalty to him before I was born. When my mother became pregnant with me she wanted to hide it from The Dark Lord because she knew that he would demand my servitude, and she didn't want that life for me, but my father refused to go along with that plan, and when I was born he performed a dedication ceremony, pledging my aligiance to Voldemort as soon as I came of age. When I was young, after the fall of the The Dark Lord, my father would speak of him rising again with great passion. He told me of my sworn allegiance to Voldemort and explained why it was an honor to dedicate my life to his service. During my childhood I viewed Voldemort as a god. An amazing being who was my Lord. Of course I learned all about you as well. How you had defeated him. At first I told myself that I would become your friend so that I could give the Dark Lord information about you and keep you close to him, but then I decided that I just wanted to be the best mate of a wizard who was as powerful as yourself. However, you rejected my friendship. In that moment I became your enemy because I said that if I couldn't have you as a friend I would have you as a rival."

He paused and took a deep breath before continuing.

"We were enemies because I was selfish. However, I constantly wanted to change your mind about me. I thought if I could impress you with my skills or my money I could win your friendship. I see now that my perception of you was completely off. I eventually stopped trying to change your mind because I thought it was a lost cause, however, I always had a small hope that you would see through my facade and come to rescue me. Home life for me was.. Not ideal. It's kind of embarrassing, but I always dreamed that the famous Harry Potter would fly to my window on his broom and rescue me from my living hell. I pictured you coming up to me in the hall, sticking out your hand, and saying 'We started out on the wrong foot, and I would really love to become friends.' That obviously never happened, it was just a young boy's fantasy. I'm not sure when my obsession with being your friend slash enemy changed into.. what it is now. It started as a crush. You were gorgeous. I would catch myself staring at you whenever you weren't looking. I would watch you from across the Great Hall during meals and during potions and defense against the dark arts classes. I think fourth year was when I really fell for you. You came back to school and you were just so… Perfect."

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Draco held up his hand.

"Please, Harry, just let me finish or else I don't think I'll be able to."

Harry nodded and Draco continued talking. At some point Harry had put down his hot chocolate and slipped his free hand into Draco's.

"As I was saying, you were perfect. Your long hair and startling green eyes. I was captivated. I was so scared when your name came out of the goblet of fire. I knew it wasn't good, and I kept a close eye on you. I was scared you were going to die.." Draco laughed. "And I have to admit I was rather jealous when you did the competition in the black lake, and I wasn't the special person you had to rescue. Anyways, after the final task, when Diggory died, after that I swore I would do everything in my power to protect you from harm. I would defy Voldemort if it meant your safety. You can't even imagine the strain this caused between me and my father. He.."

Draco choked on his words, tears burning at the back of his eyes.

"He told me that I had to serve The Dark Lord because I was pledged to him. I tried to fight him about it, my mum tried to reason with him. It was no use. During my fifth year I had to train with other death eaters. Let's just say they aren't very forgiving when you mess up. By my sixth year they had me working fully for Voldemort. As you know I was supposed to kill Dumbledore. They said it was because I had the best access since I was a student, but really Voldemort was doing it to get back at my father for his failings. To get back at him through me. The night Dumbledore died, when you tried to stop me from killing him, that was when I realized that I lo… how I feel about you.

As soon as I turned seventeen they performed the ceremony. I had no choice. I tried to run away, and my father.. He made it very clear that I could not run. The ceremony was performed and I was branded with this."

He took his hand from Harry's, and pulled up his left sleeve revealing the dark mark. Harry let out an awed gasp. He moved his hand and ran his fore finger along the mark lightly tracing the design. Draco clenched his teeth as he felt the mark ripple under his skin. "Not now, please not now," he begged in his mind.

Harry seemed to notice his discomfort and removed his hand. "Draco?"

Draco shook his head to alert Harry that he was alright, but he wasn't. He was breathing hard, and sweat began to bead on his face as he fought to control the mark on his arm. With some struggle he continued talking, but his voice was strained.

"I know you caught on to the fact that I was a death eater. You found me in the bathroom that time, crying. I was really surprised when you cursed me."

Harry's eyes widened. "Draco I didn't mean that. I've always wanted to tell you I'm so sorry for that."

"Shhh Harry not now, please," Draco said clenching his teeth. His arm continued to ripple, the pain growing worse.

"I.." He was barely able to speak. "I didn't want to, Harry, but I had no choice. I was trapped, and I knew I was failing you."

"Draco, please stop. You're in pain. What is it? What's wrong?

"I.. Ahhhh!" Draco let out a yell and hunched over. It was late, but people were still in the common room, and they all looked over with mingled expressions of curiosity and concern.

"Draco, come on. Get up, please. We can't stay down here."

Draco noded and bit his tongue as he held back another scream. Pain was shooting up his arm, and his vision was blurry. He was vaugly aware of Harry takeing him by the arms and leading him up a set of stairs. A moment later he was in a dorm room full of Gryffindor colors. In any other situation he would be marveling at the fact that he was in Harry Potter's room, but instead he screamed as Harry sat him on a bed, the mark ripping at his skin.

"Ron is staying with Hermione tonight so you'll be okay here." There was deep concern etched in Harry's eyes. "Draco what's going on." He glanced at Draco's arm. "Do I need to get Madam Pomfery?"

"No." Draco coughed then hunched over and dry heaved. "I just… Need…" he coughed again and began clawing at the skin on his arm. It was white hot. He had to rip it away before it killed him.

"Draco! Draco stop! What are you doing?!" Harry lunged at Draco and latched onto the boys arm, prying his fingers, which were now covered in his own blood, away from the burning mark. Harry held both of Draco's arms in his hands. He was kneeling on the floor in front of the Slytherin, and as he spoke his voice shook.

"Listen to me. You have to stop. You have to focus. You can control it. Draco, look at me!"

Draco looked up and a shock of pain spread through his heart this time as he noticed tears spilling from his loves eyes.

"Draco, please. For me, please."

Draco's body gave one more shake and he curled over onto the floor, throwing up the entire contents of his stomach. Instead of moving away in disgust Harry continued to hold Draco's hand in his, and rub the puking boys back in a soothing manner.

"That's it. It's okay. Everything is okay."

Draco heaved again spitting up yellow stomach acid, everything else in his stomach already covering the Gryffindor dorm room's floor.

"You're alright." Harry continued to speak soothingly, rubbing Draco's back.

When he finished heaving Draco colapsed into Harry's arms and began to sob, truly sob. Harry wrapped his arms around the miserable boy and held him. The two of them sat there on the floor, both of them crying and covered in blood, sweat, puke, and tears for ages. Harry rocked Draco back and forth in his arms, whispering soothing words and surrounded the broken boy in a cacoon of comfort.

After a few minutes Harry pushed Draco slightly away from him but only enough that the boys could look each other in the eyes. "Draco, what were you going to say earlier? When you were talking about killing Dumbledore. When I tried to stop you. You said that was when you realized something. Something about me. What was it that you realized?"

Draco looked Harry in his sparkling green eyes, eyes that held so much care and compassion. He looked in those beautiful eyes and didn't break contact as he said, "That was when I realize that I love you."

Harry gazed back at Draco. His arms gripped Draco's, and the blonde could hear every ounce of sincerity in his voice as he whisperd, "I love you too."

Despite the pain he felt, Draco's heart soured. These were the words he had been longing to hear for so many years, the words he thought he never would hear. Yet here he was, in Harry's arms, surrounded by a mess of blood and puke, and Harry Potter had said that he loved him.

"You have no idea how much those words mean to me," Draco whispered.

Harry smiled and whispered back, "I think I do." Then he leaned in and whispered against Draco's lips. "I really really do." And then they were kissing. It was a slow aching kiss. A kiss that had been years in the making, and it was everything Draco had ever hoped it would be.

"I love you, Harry Potter. I love you and I'm never letting you go."

Harry smiled. "Draco Malfoy, I am never ever letting you go, and you can count on that." They kissed again, and after a few minutes Harry pulled away. "Let's get you to bed, you're a mess."

"We need to clean all of this up," he gestured to the ruined room.

Harry ran his fingers through Draco's hair and kissed his cheek. "I'll clean it. You need rest."

Draco tried to protest, but Harry was already helping him into the bed, and before he could refuse his eyes had grown heavy, and he was asleep.

Harry looked lovingly at the boy sleeping in his bed. Draco was so beautiful and despite Harry's opinion over the past eight years, gentle. It hurt his heart to see Draco in so much pain. He wasn't sure exactly what had happened tonight, but he knew that it was a result of everything that Draco had been forced to endure. All of the pain of the past eighteen years of his life still finding ways to creep to the surface even though the direct cause of pain was gone.

Harry knew that Draco's mother was in Azkeban and that his father died after the war, but he still had a feeling the boy was holding back from him. There was something he wasn't saying, was scared to say, but Harry knew patience, and he was willing to wait for Draco to trust him enough to divulge the information.

The dorm room was still a mess, so Harry set to restoring it. A few quick scourgify spells later and the room was back as it should be.

Harry then sat next to his friend who was still sound asleep. Heat radiated from Draco's body, and apon feeling his forehead Harry determined that he may have a fever. Harry quickly produced a cold damp cloth and began to run it gently over the Slytherin's hot skin. Draco stirred but didn't wake. Harry took the blonde's hand in his, and spoke softly to him even though he would not be heard.

"I don't think I've told you yet, but you are so beautiful. I never imagined I would say that about you, but it is so so true. I don't know what tonight makes us. I guess we are just friends who like to snog each other every now and then, but that's good enough for me right now. I just want you to know that I'm always here for you. You can trust me, Draco. I promise I won't hurt you."

Harry set the cloth on the bedside table and slid under the covers next to his friend. He shifted onto his side so that one arm was wrapped around Draco, and the other was tucked up underneath him. Kissing the other boy on the forehead he whispered, "Goodnight, love," and then fell asleep with Draco in his arms.

The next morning Draco awoke to a messy haired, green eyed, scar ridden, boy lying in bed next to him. He smiled thinking about the beautiful disaster of the night before. He hated Harry seeing him so weak, but Harry had been so gentle and understanding, not asking questions, his only concern Draco's well being.

He leaned over and kissed Harry whose mouth was hanging slightly open.

"Mmmhhm," Harry mumbled, rolling over to face Draco.

"Good morning, Harry."

Harry rubbed his eyes. "mhmm morning," he said sleepily. After sitting up and putting on his glasses he looked at Draco more clearly. "How are you feeling."

Draco kissed him again. "Spectacular."

As the boys walked to the great hall together they noticed a buzz of excitement in the air. December first.

It was the first day of December, and that meant everyone was gearing up for Christmas. The gamekeeper, Hagrid, could be seen hauling giant Christmas trees up to the castle. Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick were busy magicking up all sorts of decorations in the Great Hall. Icicles and candy canes hung from the ceiling in glossy bliss, and the table was adorned with sprigs of holly and plates of scones and peppermint bread.

Draco and Harry parted ways to sit at their respective tables. Draco helped himself to a steaming mug of thick hot chocolate in which he dunked bits of peppermint bread as he watch Harry from across the room. He was soon joined by Crabbe and Pansy who prodded him, as usual, about his relationship with Potter while Draco, as usual, refused to supply them with the information they desired.

Classes were a mere formality with the excitement of the holidays, and in a couple of weeks they would be put on hold as students traveled back to wherever they had come from to celebrate Christmas with their loved ones. The holidays had never been particularly exciting to Draco, however. They had always brought on a sense of impending doom at the prospect of returning home for two weeks. This year, however, would be different. He would be spending Christmas at Hogwarts. He hadn't asked Harry if he would be staying as well. He was sure there were plenty of people that would love for Harry to spend the holidays with them, and he didn't want Harry to think he had to stay behind for Draco's sake. Although if he did Draco certainly wouldn't complain.

In potions they were finishing up the brewing of another set of potions for Saint Mungo's. The hospital had found it beneficial to provide the funds for potion brewing in order to have the students supply them with many medical droughts. Draco watched with greedy lustful eyes as Harry gave their dreamless sleep potion one last stir before bottling it up and taking it to Slughorn's desk. God he was so hot. Draco felt his heart begin to race as Harry threw him a casual grin from the front of the classroom. How did he manage to get Draco weak at the knees by only existing?

Harry waved at Draco as he headed out of the classroom supposedly off to his next class.

"Oh no you don't," Draco thought. He grabbed his bag, signaled to Slughorn that he was leaving, and quickly hurried after the boy who lived.

"Hey!" Harry cried out as someone grabbed his wrist and pulled him into an empty classroom.

"What the, hell?" He turned, whipping out his wand in preparation to fight, but his eyes were met with those of a tall grey eyed boy.

"Draco? Wha..?" But before the question had been fully spoken Draco had pushed him up against the wall and crashed his lips into Harry's.

Startled but not at all opposed, Harry let his wand clatter to the ground so that he could wrap his arms around Draco's neck and pull him closer.

Their lips moved together like waves reaching for the shore. Every kiss was sweet yet fiery, forceful yet appealing. Draco moved his lips from Harry's lips to Harry's neck where he began to bite and suck at the tender flesh he found there. Harry let out a moan as Draco's lips caressed his skin and sharp pangs of pleasure rushed all over his body. His knees grew weak so he held on to Draco for support as the other boy found his way back to Harry's lips. They kissed passionately, Draco pinning Harry to the wall, Harry's hands exploring Draco's body, pulling at the robes that blocked him from contact with Draco's skin. Moans escaped both of their lips as their bodies moved together. Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's waist pulling him as close as he possibly could without escalating things to the extreme. They kissed and kissed, only taking breaks to adjust their heads or take a breath. Draco nibbled at Harry's ear and whispered, "Stay with me, Harry, for the holidays, please. I've never had a good Christmas, but I would like to have a perfect one with you."

Harry pulled away and looked Draco in his glossy grey eyes. "I'll stay, I'll have to tell Mrs. Weasley that I can't make it, but it will be fine because I want to stay with you."

He kissed Draco again as if sealing his promise and then pulled away. "It kinda sucks, but I do have to make it to Transfiguration before McGonigal has my ass."

Draco pressed his lips into Harry's. "Mhmm do you really have to go? You can't skip one class?" His eyes glimmered with lust, "you know I have my own room, we could.. fool around." Draco drug his finger in slow circles against Harry's hip causing the chosen one to shiver in pleasure.

When he spoke his voice was deep with lust and longing. "I wish I could, believe me, but it's kind of important that I don't miss today. We are going over Auror stuff."

Draco pouted, but gave Harry one last kiss as if to say "Okay."

The two boys straightened their hair and unruffled their clothes so that they didn't look as if they had almost had sex in an empty classroom. Draco walked Harry to his class and Harry couldn't help but wish they could hold hands in the corridors, but he wasn't ready for that sort of speculation from his fellow students. As they reached the classroom Draco leaned in and gave Harry a quick hug.

"Bye, babe" he grinned, and headed off down the hall.

Harry watched him disappear and hoped that no one would notice the blush that had crept it's way onto his cheeks as he entered the the classroom.

"We're really gonna miss you mate. Are you sure you don't want to come back with us? It's not too late. You could pack real quick,and mum would be thrilled."

Ron Weasley stood with, his arm around his girlfriend, trying once again to convince his best mate to come along for Christmas.

"You know I would, Ron, but I promised Draco I would stay with him. I imagine it's his first real Christmas. I don't see Lucius Malfoy as much of a holiday person."

Ron rolled his eyes, "aw come off it, Harry. I'm sure Malfoy spent his Christmases with tons of food and more presents than he could count."

Hermione hit Ron in the chest. "Ron you know that's not what makes Christmas! Christmas is about friends and family. It's about joy and the feeling of loved ones, not presents and food."

"Yeah, but you have to admit the presents and food are nice," Ron laughed as Hermione hit him again scoffing.

"You're hopeless Ron Weasley."

"Yes but you love me." He answered smugly.

Hermione rolled her eyes, but grinned as she pulled the ginger into a kiss.

"Gross, save it for back home why don't you," Harry chimed in, but he was laughing. He really was going to miss Christmas with the Weasleys.

"We'll take care Harry," Ron said, pulling his best mate into a man hug and thumping him on the back. "And Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas you git," Harry returned chuckling.

"Happy Christmas, Harry." Hermione smiled, also giving Harry a hug. "See you in two weeks!" She paused before following Ron and squinted at Harry. "Is that a hickie on your neck?"

"What?" Harry rubbed the spot on his neck where Malfoy had left the little token. "Er.. No of course not.

Hermione didn't look convinced, but she let the subject go. "We'll have a good holiday, Harry," she said before following Ron.

The two lovebirds made their way towards the train. Harry watched as they hauled their luggage up and disappeared through the doors. He was about to turn and head back to the castle when he saw a familiar face in the crowd.

"Ginny!" Harry called.

Ginny turned. When she saw Harry her eyes widened and she seemed to pale.

"Ginny, are you alright? You look spooked."

"No no, I'm fine," But as she said it she took a step back.

"Are you sure? I haven't talked to you in a couple weeks, and now you're going to be gone for the holidays."

"Oh right," Ginny said, wringing her hands in a nervous manner. "Well you know. I've been busy with class and most of my time nowadays is spent with Ginger."

"Ginny you really do look sick. Is something wrong?"

She cast a nervous smile. "I guess I'm just worried about the holidays. It's the first time I'll see everyone since telling them... You know."

A lightbulb went off in Harry's head. Of course that's what was bothering Ginny! He would be quite nervous himself if it was his family. He felt like an awful friend. He should have been there for her these past few weeks comforting her and reassuring her, but he had been so caught up in Draco that he had hardly given anyone else a thought. He bent down and hugged the frightened girl tightly.

"It will all work out, Gin, I promise. Don't think about it too much."

"Yeah.. You're.. You're right Harry, thanks." She turned and hurried towards the train, tripping on her way. "I'm alright!" She called as Harry moved to help her. "I'm really fine! Happy Christmas!"

Puzzled Harry responded with a weak, "Happy Christmas."

He watched as the train chugged off into the early morning horizon. He then turned and headed back to the castle, hoping that Ginny would be alright.

That night he and Draco had a date in hogsmeade. It was only five days until Christmas so Harry headed into town early to finish up some last minute shopping. He had already bought Ginny a gift. He was giving her a new pair of catchers gloves, Gryffindor gold, and a box of licorice whips. Ron was getting an assortment of his favorite candies, Hermione a new quill, a rather fancy one at that. It was a silky white and black marbled hippogriff quill with silver trimming. He had gotten Mrs. Weasley a new silver cauldron and Mr. Weasley was receiving an assortment of muggle knick knacks. There were a few other gifts he had already purchased for friends, but one person remained on Harry's list that he was yet to buy a present for. Draco. Harry had gone around and around in his head wondering what to get the boy. The most obvious thing he could think of was something to do with potions, but that would make it seem as if he hadn't put much thought into the gift. The next most obvious thing was something in Slytherin green, but he had no idea what. Draco wasn't his boyfriend so buying him jewelry would seem too romantic, and going the easy route and getting him a book or candy just wouldn't do.

Harry paced back and forth along the streets passing shop after shop, looking in the Windows but never opening the door. As he passed Friley's Jewlry for the fifth time, he held his breath and pushed into the shop. Jewelry still wasn't what he wanted, but there had to be something in here nice enough for Draco that wasn't too fancy or romantic. He scanned the shelves but his eyes seemed to rest only upon rings and necklaces and bracelets, nothing Draco would want.

"Can I help you?"

A slender man in his mid fifties appeared behind the counter. He looked rather prestigious and unfriendly as if speculating to a teenager fraternizing in his shop.

"Er.." Harry mumbled, rather intimidated by the man. "Uh.. Do you have anything that's not Jewelry?"

The man raised his eyebrows. "Son you do realize that you are in a jewelry store?"

Of course he did, he wasn't stupid. Although he was sure his question sounded rather stupid. "I meant.. I have a friend who.. Who likes, er, nice things. I want to give him a thoughtful gift, but I don't want rings or pendants."

The man nodded. "Yes I do believe you could find something that is, as you say, not jewelry. If you step this way you will see a variety of items that would be more Suitable to a gentleman."

Harry followed the man to the left side of the store. Before him was a display of less womanly items. There were cufflinks in silver and gold, a larger variety of expensive looking watches some plain, some studed with a variety of jewels. There were fancy brushes that looked like shoe buffers, gleaming pocket knives, and a case of less womanly bracelets and rings. Harry continued to scan the shelf, not seeing anything that screamed Draco when he stopped.

"What are those?" He questioned, pointing at a row of items on the back shelf.

"Ah yes," the storekeeper said bringing forth a roll of long shiny objects.

Harry ran his finger down the surface of one of the gleaming items. Letter openers. Wizards received most of their correspondence through letters, so it would make sense to have a nice opener. One in particular caught his eye. It was pure silver, gleaming perfectly under the shops lighting. A delicate pattern was etched into the handle and a single emerald jewel rested near the top.

"I'll take that." Harry said, pointing at the beautiful specimen.

"Ah an excellent choice. Shall I wrap it for you?"

A few minutes later Harry exited the store with the letter opener neatly packaged in a navy and silver box, wrapped perfectly for Christmas morning.

As he made his way towards the three broomsticks his stomach twisted in knots. He sure hoped Draco would like this gift.

Draco and Harry stumbled through the Gryffindor portrait hole which revealed an empty common room. No Gryffindors had stayed behind for the holidays, but that was normal. Draco and Harry had enjoyed a wonderful evening in hogsmeade, but the events of the night had escalated to levels that were not publicly appropriate resulting in the boys hurried venture back to Hogwarts. Now that they were alone in the secluded section of Gryffindor tower Draco all but attacked Harry knocking him into the couch by the fire and locking his lips onto the red cheeked boys. The two spent a moment taking each other in, lips on lips, before they completely lost their minds. Soon Draco was on top of Harry, stradling him, as their kisses deepened. Lust and longing shot through Draco's body and he murmured as Harry nibbled his ear sending pleasurable feelings towards the lower half of his body. He could feel his erection growing as his partners hands explored his body running up his back, which was still fully clothed, and snaking around his neck.

Lust filled Harry's eyes as Draco broke away to gaze into them before bringing his lips back to Harry's. The kisses grew more passionate, and desperate, Harry moaning under him as Draco bit his lip, pulling the bottom half into his mouth and briefly sucking on it before releasing it once again to the mercy of his own lips.

Harry's hands journeyed under Draco's robes. He tugged at the t-shirt Draco wore underneath, no doubt frustrated at the lack of skin to skin contact. Sitting up, Harry bundled Draco's robes in his hands and pulled them over the Slytherin's head leaving him in only boxer shorts and a black Cotton t-shirt.

Draco soon found himself doing the same, Harry's robes following Draco's to the floor, revealing a bare chested boy only in his boxers. Draco's eyes widened at the sight of Harry shirtless. This was as far as the two boys had ever gone and he felt his stomach begin to twist into knots at the prospect of where this was headed. Harry, however, didn't seem keen to stop. He ran his hands over Draco's still covered chest, locking their lips together once more. Draco trailed a line of kisses down Harry's bare chest, but stopped when he got to the hem of his boxers, not sure what to do next. As Draco inwardly questioned whether or not this was a good idea Harry's hands found their way to a new area of Draco's body that they had yet to explore. Draco gasped as two of Harry's fingers ran lightly along his dick sending fits of pleasure up Draco's stomach. Harry added another finger and then another running along the fabric that covered Draco's almost painful erection, before gripping his length with his whole hand through his boxers, causing a loud moan to escape Draco's lips. Harry's hand danced back to the top of Draco's shorts and before the helpless boy could utter a word, had dipped inside the boys boxers. Draco's eyes rolled into the back of his head as Harry's had made direct contact with his throbbing cock. His hand ran down Draco's entire length before reaching the end of his dick. Harry's fingers danced lightly across Draco's head causing the boy to physically shiver. Harry used the precum that was seeping out of his lover as a sort of lube while he ran his hand up and down Draco's cock in what turned out to be an extremely satisfying handjob.

When Harry's hand slipped back out of Draco's boxers they moved to his shirt and began to lift it from his body causing Draco's stomach to clench in fear.

"Harry, no." He managed.

Harry stopped looking extremely confused. "What's wrong?" He asked. "Was it.. Bad?"

Draco almost laughed at the thought. "Oh, Harry, god no. It was amazing! It's just… I'm scared."

Harry's face softened. "We don't have to go all the way Draco, not tonight."

Draco gulped. "That's not.." He choked. "That's not what I'm afraid of."

Harry looked even more puzzled. "Then what's the problem?"

"My.. Father.."

"Your father? Draco your father's dead. He can't do anything about us now."

"No no you don't understand. My father he.." Draco gestured to his chest willing Harry to understand.

"He what?" Harry's eyes suddenly turned surprisingly cold. "Draco what did your father do to you?"

Draco limped against the couch. He knew Harry would see eventually. He didn't want him too. He was afraid if Harry saw he would be disgusted, repulsed. He would see how hideous Draco truly was. He would leave.

"Draco" Harry spoke, his voice having softened again. "Baby it's okay. You can tell me."

Draco nodded. He stood up and turned his back to Harry. He could hear the boy take a breath to speak, probably thinking Draco was about to leave, but before he said anything Draco had gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. As he cast the t-shirt onto the floor he heard his lover gasp. Harry was quickly on his feet, next to Draco.

"Draco what happened? When did he do this to you?"

Dozens of scars ran along the Slytherin's back. They varied in size, some long and thin, some short, some wide and deep, some flat, some raised.

"Draco," Harry whispered. His fingers ran across the scars causing Draco to shiver in fear and sadness.

"My father he.. He didn't approve of me and he didn't forgive. He believed in learning the hard way. He would… Beat me… Most of the time he didn't even come up with a reason. He would be frustrated and so he would take it out on me. Bad day at work? He fixed it by cursing me. Issues with the Dark Lord? He punished me for his failures. Often times he would go after my mum.. I couldn't let him do that. When I stood in the way it was ten times worse, but it was better than her being hurt."

Draco turned, hands shaking. More scars covered his chest and stomach, though not as many as his back. Some ran across his shoulders.

"Draco, I can't believe your father did this to you. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I couldn't," Draco snarled. "He said if I did he would kill my mother. I had to protect her. She didn't deserve any of it, I did. I'm worthless."

"No, Draco, no. How could you say that? You mean the world to me, and I know your mother loves you." There were tears in Harry's eyes.

"It doesn't matter if she loves me. She's in Azkaban. I failed her. She didn't even want to serve the dark lord. She only did it to please my father, and now she has to pay."

"But your father payed too! He's dead. All of his crimes and hatred came back to bite him. He fraternized with the wrong group, and it landed him without a life."

"Harry." Draco looked Harry dead in the eyes and he saw fear as the boy registered the hatred in his face. "I killed my father."

Silence.

"You..killed.. I thought.."

"You thought that a group of angry death eaters hunted him down and killed him for failing Voldemort?" Contempt seethed from his voice as he recalled the sins of that night at Malfoy Manor. "That's what everyone though, but it's not true. I killed my father. I looked him in the eye as he smirked at me. He called me a coward and a failure. He said that I was weak, that I couldn't kill Dumbledore, and I couldn't kill him. I stood there and took his final verbal lashing towards me, and then I killed him where he stood, in the middle of his beloved manor. I watched the light drain from his eyes, and then I left him on the floor to rot like the garbage he was."

Harry stood wide eyed and open mouthed, staring at the boy who had moment before been passionately snogging him.

Draco turned his back to Harry. "Go ahead, leave. You probably think I'm hideous because of these scars. You probably think I'm a monster for what I did. Killing my own father."

"Draco," Harry whispered, pain evident in his voice. "What you did doesn't make you a monster, it makes you a human who spent his life going through a terrible situation and who had the courage to get out of it when he finally had the chance. These scars," Harry turned Draco towards him and ran his hand along the boy's chest. "They don't make you hideous, they make you beautiful and strong. To live through what you did, I can't imagine it."

"You've lived through worse. I mean your whole life you've been hunted down."

Harry looked Draco in the eyes. "We may have lived through different hells, but that doesn't make either hell easier to deal with. We have both seem pain and loss. Now we are each other's saviors."

Harry bent down and kissed along a scar that ran from Draco's chest to his belly button. He kissed each scar delicately as if it was a cup made of china. Then he moved to Draco's back. He ran his hands up the bare, bumpy skin rubbing gentle circles across the marks and softly massaging the abused skin. He kissed each scar, taking his time, before finding his way back to Draco's mouth. Harry kissed him slowly, the two savoring each second that their lips were connected.

"Draco Malfoy, you are beautiful and perfect, and it doesn't bother me that you're broken. Some nights I hardly sleep from nightmares. Many nights I cry myself to sleep, but it's okay because now I have you. We can be broken together, and maybe we can eventually help each other to become whole once again." Harry kissed him again. "I don't want to spend my days wondering and speculating about this, about us. I want to know that I am yours and you are mine. I Love you so much Draco. Please, give me the best Christmas present I could ever ask for. Be my boyfriend, my real boyfriend. No hiding and pretending. Be the one I can hold hands with in the hall and kiss outside of class and spend my weekends with. Will you go steady with me?"

Draco picked Harry up off the floor laughing, spun him around, and kissed him. "Yes, Harry Potter, I will be your boyfriend."

He placed Harry back down and kissed him long and hard. He ran his hands across Harry's back and down his arse while kissing down his chest. This time when he reached the hem of the other boys boxers he didn't stop. He gripped the top of them and pulled them down revealing all of Harry for his eyes to consume. He was so beautiful, so perfect. Harry moaned as Draco ran his hands across the boy's swelling cock. He raised his eyes and looked into Harry's who nodded. Needing no more reassurance Draco took Harry into his mouth. He moved his mouth up and down licking and sucking at the swollen member. Harry's knees went weak. He let out a moan as Draco guided him to the couch. Harry sat, and Draco continued to suck and fondle his beautiful boyfriend.

Harry's breathing grew faster. "Draco, I can't hold on," he panted.

"Don't hold back, baby. Come for me, right now."

Harry moaned as Draco continued to go down on him. The famous wizard threw his head back and let out a lustful yell as he released into his gay lovers mouth.

Draco swallowed the bitter cum then sat on the couch. He reached down and began to run his hands along his own throbbing erection, desperate for release.

"Here babe, let me take care of that for you," Harry said getting on his knees.

Draco groaned as Harry took him in his mouth and began to run his hot tongue along his erection. Harry flicked his tongue against the head of Draco's penis sending pleasure throughout the blondes body. He ran his hands and mouth along Draco at the same time, fondling his sack and sucking his length.

"Harry I'm gonna cum!"

"Don't hold back baby, give it all to me."

Draco screamed as he exploded, hot sticky cum squirted onto Harry's chest. As he came down from his orgasm Harry sat on top of him and pushed him down. He kissed Draco, lying on top of him.

"You are so hot," Draco moaned.

"You were so great," Harry returned. He kissed Draco again. "Come on let's go get cleaned up and get some sleep."

After the two boys had showered they climbed into Harry's bed, not bothering to put on clothes. Draco wrapped his arms around Harry, pressing his face against the boy's hair. As they began to drift off Draco smiled, realizing that for the first time in his life he was truly happy.

"I love you Harry Potter, so very very much."

Five days later Harry woke up to a stack of presents at the end of his bed and the cheery sensation of Christmas Day. He had the usual sweater from Mrs. Weasley along with an assortment of candies from Ginny, some items from Weasley's Wizard Weezes given to him by both Ron and George, a bottle of fire whiskey from Hermione, and a biting plant from Neville that was supposed to keep away insects.

After admiring his gifts Harry headed down to the Great Hall for the Christmas breakfast. McGonagall was already there along with a few professors that had stayed behind for the holidays. Within the next few minutes all of the remaining students had trickled in. Draco, upon arrival, sat next to Harry. Accompanying them were two Huffelpuff fourth years along with a second year, and two Ravenclaw students, a third and fourth year. A moment later the table was covered in food and everyone was eating and opening magical poppers.

Once the meal was over McGonagall wished everyone a Happy Christmas and they all went their separate ways.

"Harry, meet me in the Slytherin common room in twenty minutes so we can exchange gifts. You know the password."

Harry nodded and hurried back to Gryffindor tower to grab his boyfriends present. He also grabbed an armful of sweets and the bottle of firewhiskey before making his way to the dungeons.

Draco was already waiting for him clad in black jeans and a red and green striped shirt which was his version of Christmas spirit.

Harry smirked, "Nice shirt ya got there."

"What, this? It was the only thing I possessed that was even remotely Christmasy so you will have to get over its ugliness."

"I don't think anything could make you look ugly," Harry supplied.

Draco rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

"Alright you first."

Harry gulped as he held out the small package that held the letter opener. What if Draco thought it was weird or lame?

"Oh, Harry." Draco spoke in what seemed to be awe. "It's lovely." He held up the dainty opener so that it gleamed in the lighting. He ran the dull blade along his fingers careful not to put fingerprints on the spotless silver.

"You like it?" Harry asked, still uncertain.

"Like it? Harry I love it! It's beautiful and perfect. It will definitely come in handy, but it's almost too pretty to use."

Harry sighed, relieved that Draco had liked his gift.

"You're going to have to follow me to get your gift because it's in my room."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really? I like the sound of that."

Laughing, Draco took hold of Harry's hand and staged the boy up to his room. When they reached the door to his room Draco said, "Close your eyes," to which Harry obliged.

He could hear the door opening and then he was lead inside.

"Alright open them."

Harry opened his eyes and gasped. "Hedwig," he whispered.

It was, in fact, not Hedwig, but it was a beautiful snowy owl inside of a silver cage. The owl hooted softly as if it had been waiting for Harry's arrival and was finally satisfied.

"Go ahead," Draco said. "Open the cage. She's a girl by the way."

Harry opened the cage, eyes fixed on the creature that held such an uncanny resemblance to his late owl Hedwig. The creature swiftly flew from the cage to Harry's shoulder where she proceeded to peck gently at his ear as if saying, "I like you."

Harry sat on Draco's bed, and the owl fluttered to his lap. As Harry pet her she rubbed her head against him and hooted.

Harry looked at Draco, tears in his eyes. "Thank you."

Draco smiled. "You deserve her. What will you name her?"

"I think I'll name her Noel. It's a Christmas name, and it's also really pretty like her."

"Noel. I like it," Draco said.

"Hey Drake do you have a quill and parchment?"

A few minutes later Harry had scrawled out a quick note to Ginny, Ron, and Hermione.

Dear, Gin, Ron, and Hermione,

I hope you guys are having a great Christmas. Thanks for my gifts, especially the FireWhiskey. I'll be getting some good use out of that this evening. This is my new owl, Noel. Draco gave her to me. Isn't she a beauty? See you in a week.

Harry

He tied the note to Noel's leg and sent her out the window, smiling as she flew into the gently falling snow.

"So, how shall we spend our Christmas?" Draco asked.

Harry held up the bottle of firewhiskey that Hermione had given him. "Fancy a drink?"

Three hours and an entire bottle of firewhiskey later the two boys lay sprawled on Draco's bed red faced and half naked. Other than clumsy kisses there hadn't been much sexual exchange due to the stumbling intoxicated state of the two, but Harry's mind was full of fantasies that one would only try when they are drunk.

"Youu know harrrry," Draco slurred. "I have this fthing that I wanna tryy."

"Hmm?" Harry questioned rolling over sleepily to look at the blonde.

"Broom sex."

"What?"

"Ya know Haarry." Draco waved his hand around as if that cleared matters up. "Sex onn a broom."

"Draco... How the fuckk would that even work?"

"You can cast a spell so you won't fall. I've looked it upp." Draco grabbed Harry's hand dragging him out of bed and towards the window. "Come on. It'll be funnn."

"Draco, it's bloody cold. Have you fforgotten it's winter?"

Draco pouted, but not for long. His pout was soon replaced by a sly drunken smile.

"Sex in bed then, Harry?" He dropped to his knees and began to unbutton Harry's trousers. "You knoww, I've always wondered whether you top or bottom."

"Mhhm," Harry murmured as Draco stroked his continuously swelling cock through his boxers. "I'm willing to try both."

Draco grinned, one finger slipping through the slit in Harry's boxers causing him to moan in pleasure. "That's what I like to hear love. Now, let me take these useless clothes off of youu so that I can suck you down until you screamm my name."

Harry nodded in agreement and pleasure as Draco removed the last piece of clothing that concealed his painful erection.

"So beautiful," Draco whispered, running his fingers up and down the shaft. He looked up at Harry and laughed. "You're dying aren't you? Sooo horny. What would happen if I just… Left you wanting?" A coy smile twitched on his lips as he teased Harry, lightly running a finger up and then down his shaft not nearly enough to satisfy Harry's need.

"Ohh you wouldntt," Harry stammered. The alcohol was still pumping through his veins, but his mind was sharp enough to realize what Draco was implying.

"Oh but I would." He began to back away causing Harry's cock to twitch with the lack of contact. "Beg me for it Harry. Beg me to take you in my mouth and pleasure you."

"Fuck Draco, please. Take me in your mouth, give me release."

"Aw Harry how cutee. You'll have to do better than that."

"God, Draco, you tease. Please, please, I can't stand it. Take me however you want, do to me anything you would like. Suck me now. Don't leave me begging. Take me in your hot mouth, and turn me inside out, then turn me over and fuck me until I scream your name."

Draco grinned looking satisfied. "Your wish is my command."

In one swift motion Draco had crept back to Harry and gone down on him in fever. He ran his tongue up and down Harry's shaft, flicked it against the head of his swollen member, cooing as Harry moaned in pleasure. He took Harry entirely in his mouth and sucked him deep bobbing his mouth up and down continuously. He swallowed and gulped, a complete hot mess.

Harry groaned gripping Draco by the hair as pleasure whirled up inside of him, explosion building up in his core.

Draco shoved Harry back onto the bed and flopped down beside him all the while fondling the boy's dick, his own dick swelling against his pants.

As Draco continued to go down on him Harry reached his hands down desperate to free Draco from his confinement. He all but ripped the boy's pants from his body soon followed by his boxers and wrapped both hands around his boyfriend moving them up and down to the rhythm of Draco's mouth on his own prostate. They moved in unison picking up speed and pleasure as the climax grew within them both, and they both let go at the same time, two fountains of white squirting across the room.

Harry collapsed panting, but Draco was not yet done with him. The blonde reached into a drawer and produced a bottle of lube which he began to apply to his cock and his fingers. He grabbed Harry and flipped him over so that the boy was lying on his stomach, helpless to Draco's intentions.

"You're mine," Draco growled. "And I plan to take you any way that I please." His voice was husky and low, full of lust.

Harry just whimpered as Draco's fingers began to tease the opening of his arse. They circled around his anus until one finger dipped inside of him, an alien to his body. Harry groaned as Draco slipped another finger into him scissoring his tight entrance.

"God, Harry, you're so damn tight."

Unable to speak, Harry just whimpered and moaned at the foreign movement inside of him. It was so pleasing, getting him hard and desperate all over again.

"Are you ready for me, love?"

Harry nodded and let out a yell as he felt Draco's giant dick slowly sliding inside of him. A moment later Harry was full of his boyfriend, and Draco began to move back and forth, thrusting his hips into Harry.

"God! Fuck, Draco! Fuck me harder!"

Draco grunted, obeying Harry's command thrusting harder and faster.

"Harry screamed with pleasure and pain as he savored the new experience. Each stoke of Draco's dick inside of him causing him to see stars.

"Draco, fuckkkk!"

"That's it, Harry, scream my name! Scream it like it's the only thing that will save you!"

Harry obliged, and he went over the edge screaming his lover's name as he once more ejaculated onto the bed.

A moment later Draco followed with his own orgasm still inside Harry, his hot seed spurting through Harry in beautiful pleasure.

Draco slipped out of his boyfriend, panting, and the two lay on the bed wrapped in each other's sweaty arms.

"I think…" Harry began. "I think that was my best Christmas present yet."

Draco smiled stroking Harry's hair. "Even better than your firebolt?"

"Hmm okay second best."

Draco swatted him, and Harry laughed pulling Draco closer and stealing a kiss."Happy Christmas you arse."

"Happy Christmas love. Thank you for making it the best ever."