Complicated Paradise of Forever
The rising of dawns powerful morning glow took over the dark blue gray clouds of darkness and rain, rays of color peaked over the hills to the east casting a spectrum of light through every orb shaped rain drop that scattered over the leaves and evergreen of the forest. Sounds of awakening creatures that inhabited the luscious greenery of Forks began their greeting songs of the new day. Beautiful, was the symphony of natures warm greet to the morning, to the new day, to the beginning of new life. A life that I was so graciously bestowed upon to live through, with the family that only seemed to be fairy tale-istic than realistic.
"Good morning Renesme." Edward, my ever so supernaturally talented father greeted my consciousness. His velvet voice warming me setting me in a good mood to start the day, my lips curved over my milky white teeth into a soft smile, he opened my door allowing his scent to enter the room as he breathed out, in a second he was hovering over me, his cool breath covering my forehead as he leaned over and cupped my cheeks, pressing his lips against my forehead he smiled.
"Your mother will be here shortly," He answered my unsaid thoughts lightly; "We will be leaving in a minute or so." There was his grudgingly expression to his tone, but I knew only too well why this was inflicted and how it started.
"He doesn't have to come over Father," I stated cautiously, my thoughts sympathetic and bruised as I looked over the features upon my fathers face; it showed displeasure and a reserved cautiousness.
"I understand what this means to both of you, and my judgmental thoughts about him are only controlled by the fact that you are my daughter, you do understand." He added softly, acknowledging my agreement in my mind, I nodded in agreement before even speaking though there was no reason to speak around my father, yet at times I chose to anyways.
I can call it off, I mean everything, graduation is not a huge deal, this is one among the million I will be having anyways, and not to mention he is only coming because he wants to make it a big deal. I thought callously at Jacob Blacks' proposal to arrive together and make this graduation, which would be both of ours first graduation, a big ordeal.
"I will not rob Jacob of his desires, the livelihood in his whole emotional set is ecstatic and he feels like he's achieving even more than you could know-" He paused as if he were telling me Jacob's mind, it was a draw back he regretted when he spoke to me about Jacob, he could not help but understand where Jacob was coming from.
Tell me more. I persisted thoughtfully
"You know how I don't like to pry, but Jacob has matured with you as you've matured on your own, he understands and wants so much for you. All he has is unyielding respect for our family, and you. Even against your curiosity does he hold his nobility." Edward reminded me, my eyes narrowed slightly at his recall of arising issues.
If you insist, I was just curious though. I added thoughtfully on how to avoid the past issues I was overcoming at this age, but I still sense the uncomfortable aura about you, and it unease's me also daddy.
Edward's eyes softened, his hand held the shape of my cheek gently before he left his hand fall to his side, "You care too much about too little, I trust you, and my trust in him is prominent also, do not doubt his motives, he wants only to care for you and make you happy, but on this topic your mothers dominant side of her dislike of large affairs shows within you, something he is all too well aware of and can show you the light side of things." Edward's lips curled into a crooked smile before he stood.
"I love you Daddy." I said softly, he was at the door when he turned around and nodded in my direction.
"And I love you." Edward replied. His absence allowed me to linger in bed for a moment more, my thoughts mauling over my fathers wise words. I do believe that if he was not gifted he would still be as sensible as ever. The same characteristic of patience and wisdom is shown throughout the Cullen family, it is admirable and yet hindering to my own aspects of life. I am impulsive at times, father and grandpa tell me I'm almost as reckless as my mother once was, so I render to my emotions and do first before acting.
My thoughts came to abrupt closure, I usually cut my thoughts short of any conclusion, my mother was near and so was my father. I was use to my mother slipping in after my father and comforting me in any aspects of discomfort I felt in the morning. I disliked the human side affects of morning consciousness, and that was the discomfort if gave m, it took about two years to show my discomfort, but it took only a second for my father to look into my mind and find my preference in waking up, there was a twinge of guilt when I remembered how it came along.
I had woken with Jacob coming to get me and I felt this disgruntled mood about me when I was in my second year of development, it wasn't until my father, Edward, did a trial with every member of my family coming to wake me up, it wasn't until Edward's velvet voice drowned out my disgruntled moods in the morning that he began waking me up, or being there when my mind in it's weak state of unconsciousness, he would was aware of my coming to through the intensity of my dreams and how they would become interrupted.
It was at the age of two years that I showed preferences, how I understood more of emotions, and how my understanding of the people around me became more pronounce. By the fourth year I was already through my college knowledge, I had passed high school standards by my third year, college was slightly more difficult but my advanced mind was like a sponge, absorbing all information and keeping it locked. My sixth year my growth started, my teenage tendencies showed prominently in my mind, and my body's maturity was only anticipated by my parents and family. The growth expectancy slowed down to a month, of which I would gain a few weeks.
"Morning beautiful." My mother Bella Cullen greeted warmly, admiration echoed in her eyes as she approached my bed, I looked up at her with my soft smile staining my face, making it's permanent expression this morning, "We are about ready to leave, please don't be nervous." She said as a parting farewell for now until this evening after my Senior Graduation. I nodded in response; she smiled evenly and kissed my cheek softly, her topaz eyes lingering over me in awe.
I could not compare beauty, if there where another word for how breath taking my mother was, I would think of another, words could not justify my mother's beauty. She felt disoriented when anyone would think any higher of her than she thought of herself, but in fact she had to be the prettiest. My Aunt Rosalie could not even compare, with my mother's dark wavy hair at waist length, large topaz eyes that were originally the deep chocolate brown like my own, and the full perfectly curled thick lashes that framed the almond shape of her eyes, everything complimented her face. The fullness of her bottom lip and slimmer upper lip did not hinder her looks, though she was convinced her lips where slightly lopsided, she had the perfect positioned high cheek bones that held her heart shaped face structure majestically.
"I will give you an entire break down of the whole thing." I offered sincerely, my eyes looking into hers, I could see the regret of missing my graduation, the first of soon to come a million.
"I would like that." Bella nodded, her eyes lightened with excitement of the thought. "Well your father is getting impatient, I will see you, don't forget your reception party though, we get to make a guest appearance." Her enthusiasm had faded. Uneasily she had agreed to what I requested of her; to make an appearance to the humans that I had made friends of, I had to beg, but not a considerable amount, not when she and my father gave me whatever I wished of under the stars.
"Okay mom, I will see you after the reception at the Newton's." I agreed, with a parting hug my mother was gone, my eyes blinked as I rose from under the sheets of my bed, pushing the sheets down, I swiftly hopped from bed and strode to my closet, my clothes where out on the chair, my hair supplies where on my desk where the large mirror in front of the desk reflected the simple applicants it took to be near to a perfect appearance.
A moment later a sound of warm blood pumping though a strong heart met my ears, a sweet natural scent met me in the door frame of my room, the feeling in my stomach did not cease until the thudding of the familiar strangers approach changed in mid step, there was a shuffle at my front door, then a soft knock knock knock echoed through the halls of the cottage.
"Come in." I responded eagerly, the door opened and I took refuge in my room closet, trying to cool my cheeks and heart rate, even though it was already abnormally fast, with the effect my stranger gave me it was like the constant buzzing of a bee.
"Nessie." Jacob Black called casually, his husky voice brought me another state of high, it took a second more to calm down, another second to respond.
"I'm in my room." I replied casually. I needed not to have called out, he had made the door frame his permanent border, so much respect, and he was noble how was it that my father was still unsure about him or perhaps everyone but my mother and my grandparents, everyone had something difficult to understand.
"What do you think? Do you think the football captain can clean up good or what?" Jacob boasted, his chest held high as his chin too was in the air cockily, the pleasure of hitting him in his gut was almost too much to sustain.
"I always fancied a half haired Wolf." I grinned gingerly, my mock innocence adding to my sarcastic admiration, "Don't see those on a daily." I then smirked, retreating into my closet I pulled on my casual yet formal clothes.
Stepping out within a minute and a half later, I slowly inspected myself. My style was unique and delicate, with my Aunt's strive for new fashionable attire, mixed properly with my mothers casual wear, I found my own right in between, pleasing both sides evenly that even my father was impressed. I wore my fitting skinny jeans with comfortable Van flats of purple and black inked design that sprang from the heel towards the toes of the shoe. One fold of the pants legs gave off a clean cut look, with my dark purple laced undershirt that clung to the curves of my matured body, with my new white shirt that held the designs of purple, turquoises and a single black stripe through the designs of colors, my thin black pull over jacket just the addition used to add flare, the silk material of the inside bright purple allowed all combinations of my mom, aunt Rosalie, and aunt Alice's tastes combined.
"New Jacket." Jacob stated rather than asking, I nodded in response, my white smile radiating off the mirror in front of me.
"I would have got gotten one for you also, but they don't have size giant in this color." I laughed turning my head to look at him, his rumbling chuckle vibrated throughout the room and right down to the depth of my bones.
"Yeah, besides I'm not size puny, so it works out." He grinned, I gave him a teasing frown before tending to my hair, of which I had decided to wear up, so that the jewelry that I would wear would compliment me better and be noticed better.
"So, when we arrive, which you promised-" I felt the air being sucked into Jacobs lungs, his mouth opened in objection.
"No, you said that if you could last-"
"Of which I have though, so no interruptions you are not getting out of this one, they bought that car for me, I want to drive it, and I will, no noisy rabbit, and it's a better entrance, Mr. I-want-to-act-like-this-is-the-red-carpet-event." I smirked. His exhale was in a defeated way as he slumped against the door way frame.
"I'm going to wait in the kitchen, I'm hungry." Jacob added excusing himself with a last longing glance in my direction, I watched him, leave, a smile that had made its permanent expression upon my face was still lingering. In Jacob's absence my mind began to soar over issues and situations that rose during our time in school.
The beginning of forever started with the end, the end of my growth, the end of my puberty, the end of many things. It has been ten years since my forever started, and my bodies maturity ended, I am forever seventeen years old, no longer growing or maturing physically, but mentally, I have evolved into so much. In the year 2024 was my first day as a human being in my mothers High school in Forks, Washington. My home state of gloomy rainfalls and unnaturally glum days, where only a handful of days will be pleasant enough to bare the sun for only half a day or if some were lucky, more.
I can recall with precise detail my first day of school, I did not recall a face that was not anxious or excited, like many others, I was the newest addition, along with the whole Freshman student body. Starting the year I had my forged transfer scripts in hand, along with birth certificate and many other medical and documents needed for school. By the end of the year I had been made Freshman student body representative, and was apart of many committees, just to take up my time and absorb as much knowledge as possible, I gave efficient enough effort into my works allowing me to pass by freshman year without interruption. My Class was supportive and the advantage of my hybrid birth allowed me to interact with humans just as easily with vampires.
By my sophomore year I was elected homecoming princes or queen, I had taken up running sports and volley-ball, things that where active. Though I was invited to cheerleading, due to my weight I knew it would not have been wise. For my size I was still sturdy, my bones where denser and stronger, my skin of granite so the weight was close to a second class wrestler, even for my petite size.
My Years in high school flew by, being committee member of the Chest club, Chemistry Club, Prom committee, Dance committee, ASB Representative, and making positions of; Prom Queen, Homecoming Princess and Queen, and Valedictorian, my schedule was precise. Though no matter how much I added, I found myself wishing for more, I tried my hardest to get average grades, and pretend to slip at times, all things that would not raise eye brows, or show invincibility.
I have got to admit it, I adore high school, especially when I have someone beside me. Junior year, Jacob black joined me and my class as a new kid from the Reservation. Due to the muted activity in Forks and the Reservation so many of the pack had grown up, grown old and had children. Jacob was an exception, he had an unlikely bond with me that kept him at his permanent age, and in some way it seemed to work backwards. No longer did Jacob look like he were in his twenty's but rather a high school jock, he smoothed out enough to actually partake in my life as a teenager attending high school.
Jacob's Pack had grown and yet faded all in the same. Embry, Quil, and Seth found their mates, Embry and Quil soon stopped shifting all together and tranquility took them over, now they have a kid or two with their imprinted mates. Seth too had found his within my maturing ages, he was among the first to have a child along with Embry. Though the saddest story I was afraid to think of too much was Leah, her story was still unfinished, she was never imprinted upon or imprinted to someone, yet she found her own, after the year of my ending age she requested to be granted a leave, without a doubt Jacob gave it to her, and for ten years now she has been gone in California, sending cards and letters to let everyone know she was alright, but they soon stopped as she got married, but never gave children.
My heart would ache at the bonds and stories that began to fade around Jacob and I. Though I knew how it felt to lose one, for I lost before, I could never understand the disbandment Jacob felt every time the year rolled upon one of his pack members that hadn't shifted, and how the flow of absent magic felt, it was something my father had told me when I was younger and curious, never again did I ask.
Now, here I am, standing in front of the mirror, inspecting my red-ish bronze curls and creamy ivory complexion in the large mirror before me. I had decided to pull it up in a bun, allowing a few ringlets of curls to flow out, by side sweeping bangs shifted to the right of my face. A purple hair band around my head, and a ringlet on each side of my face. In the bun I placed light purple jeweled flowers the size of my pinky's finger nail in the bun, with the last touches I looked from side to side, no one could do this style any more perfect I was confident.
With a satisfied look into the mirror, I nodded and grabbed up my purse. Already my bed was made, and in the process of my thoughts I had applied what little makeup I could, mostly light powder so that my skin did not glow so brightly at our beautiful warm sunny day Forks' weather seemed to grace upon us.
Downstairs I could hear Jacob finishing the last of the soda that I had bought, and the left over Alfraedo we had made the day before. Sliding into a stool I reached over the counter to grab my charging cell phone, IPod, and sun glasses.
"Did you save any for the dishwasher?" I asked sarcastically with a laugh as he seemed to have cleaned the plate to spotlessness.
"I didn't think it was hungry too." Jacob grinned, his toothy boyish expression effected me towards a flush. Slinking off the Stool I placed my purse on the table and fixed my shirt, looking at Jacob I smiled.
"Come here your collar-" I paused as he approached me, I noticed he had gotten some of the sauce on his shirt but it was unnoticeable, fixing his collar he smiled down at me, in an instant he had taken me in his arms, his full lips pressed hungrily against mine, within seconds I was taken over by desires and passion.
Slowly my hands slid down his chest and then up over his shoulders, my lips maneuvered over his full ones, our breathes quickening, before long I was lost in a whirling pool of butterflies and a wanton passion I knew I would never grab control over.
"Ohhhh-k." Jacob muttered inside my mouth, our actions carried us away, when his voice brought some sort of reality to my surroundings, I was in a closely intimate tangle with his body, as his arms where wrapped around me so tightly and wantonly that it was probably an uncomfortable sight if you where in our company.
"We are all alone Jake, no one is around for miles." I insisted, nipping at his thick lower lip teasingly before I tried pushing up further to snag his lips with mine. Indifferent to his intimate desires Jacob was able to free himself slowly of my own desires.
"Nessie, you know-" he didn't have to finished before I interrupted angrily.
"You know, my family has nothing to do with US as a couple, if we choose to do something then I would allow it and so should you. They can over look it, the difference between back then and now has been given a decade and a half of change. Why do you deny me of the benefits of this relationship that we know wont end?" I asked angrily. I had already chose to stay with Jacob Black for the rest of my immortal life, and Jacob in return vowed his own, though we weren't married only because of the fact that we were still young in maturity that still was taking years to accomplish, we chose our path.
"I am sorry Nessie but I respect your family, and though I can not read their minds, I can understand where they stand, and I will not disrespect them just because my hormones are getting in the way." Jacob retorted soothingly. I sneered deeply before yanking away from him.
"So you deny me benefits of my love and this relationship because of the fact you are afraid of what my family will think?" I growled. Usually at this point in the argument I find myself unbecoming and saying things that really were wrong to say, or the greed that was the product of my jealousy and lust.
"You see benefits rather than love? You are letting your hormones speak for you and the lust is driving you into words you would not say if your temper was not so short. I know you would not want your family to look at you so shamefully, and you and I both know that there are precautions that we need to take, we've talked about this before." His reasoning voice only fueled the fire to my anger, I hated above all how he knew the facts, as did I, but chose to believe in the worse side affects of them. I knew the argument was over, I could not sway his thoughts, I could not press the subject.
'I'm sorry, I know this," I replied in a exhaling dejectedly. Relaxing my arms to my side I pulled away from Jacob and moved toward my purse, it was my way of ending all thoughts and clearing my conscience.
"the car is at the on the side of the road, we should hurry we have only ten minutes to make it to the morning luncheon." Jacob reminded me, his voice was soft and soothing as he looked at me, I could feel his eyes but I denied him the satisfaction of even a glance.
"Let's be on our way." I concluded, there was not way I could deny his big brown eyes, pulling the purse over my shoulder I looked at him and smiled softly, taking a smooth step towards him I touched his warm cheek reassuringly. "I'm not angry with you, I am just-" I paused trying to find the words., "impatient is all." My smile had deepened and widened as my eyes softened.
"I love you Renesme." Jacob said longingly, I knew this to be true.