For KayMoon24!

John,

Mycroft informs me that you have parted ways with Sarah. I won't waste space with insincere condolences. I'm glad – she is far too...normal. As much as you complain about my eccentricities, I know you find normality almost as tedious as I do.

Perhaps you should abandon your job at the surgery? No doubt the situation with Sarah will be awkward for you and, in all honesty, that job never really suited you. You didn't train in medicine so you could hand out useless supposed antidotes to irritating hypochondriacs and whiny toddlers. You are a man of action – you went into the army, after all. There may be an appropriate job available with Scotland Yard. With Anderson around they need all the help they can get. Or perhaps a paramedic? Something that requires you to think on your feet.

Speaking of Anderson, I have heard rumours that Sergeant Sally has finally given up on him. No doubt you are now wondering if an imposter is writing this, as I would never usually indulge in such trivialities as idle gossip. However, I was merely pointing out yet another subject that can be used to rile up Anderson. I am relying on you to do this in my absence.

I am glad you have started to mend your relationship with Harry. Without me around you need someone to check up on you. You really do have a most extraordinary knack for attracting trouble, John. May I suggest that you take her to see the new show opening in the West End? I believe she would appreciate it, and it would go some way to repairing the rift in your relationship.

Yes, John, although I may appear rather useless when it comes to emotions I am remarkably good at making up with people. It is a talent I have been forced to develop over the years.

I hear you have volunteered to help Mrs. Hudson redecorate her flat. Please do get rid of that hideous pink floral wallpaper she has. No one should be exposed to that. Mycroft mentioned that he rather liked it, which is all the reason you need to burn the absurd stuff.

Unfortunately, I am out of time and paper.

Give my regards to Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. I suspect that you will also remember me to Molly. That is not necessary.

Best wishes with the job hunt. And please stop moping. Things are not as bad as they seem.

Yours,

SH