"Are you sad?"
". . . Yes."
"That's just . . . too bad."
"I didn't choose this. . . ."
He didn't choose this.
"Why?"
It's not that he didn't know the answer.
He was seated on a chair, and surrounded by laboratory equipments. For the moment he felt as if . . . emptied. Not tired or exhausted. Just emptied. He didn't have reluctance left to resist, or hatred to snarl at the markedly perverse doctor. He didn't have the strength of resolve to react that much anymore. For the moment, he was rested, for in emptiness there is rest.
"It's good you've realized."
The elaborate laboratory has become all too familiar to him, almost comfortable. But for the moment he felt nothing about it. What will happen to him, he was just waiting for it. What will be done to him will be done. He didn't choose this, yet the reason for all this is no one else but himself.
"It's good you've realized that I'm not in any way at fault in this."
Yes. He's just doing his job.
"You can just accept things you know. And have the weight lifted off those callous wings of yours."
Yes. And he can just run away.
Run. . . .
Because the wings won't fly.
He can just walk out from this ordeal if he really wanted to. He can choose to acknowledge his mother's grave curse:
Sweet sweet stone of Rasetsunyo.
That, if only it weren't for a son's love--a princely love. It is all through his love for his mother. The desire to restore her life, to open her eyes once again, and hold her soft mould in his arms.
But . . . really.
What good does it bring, this love, this desire? This attachment that is only causing him pain and suffering. He may as well just forget about all these and leave. Leave Houtou castle. Start a new life.
"I can't."
Nii Jien, amid going through the necessary proceedings for their regular operation, made a smile under his nose.
"I know."
"I wonder why, it has to be like this."
"Why, didn't you know? Those chains of yours, is what determines that you're actually alive, my dear prince."
Yes. Everyone just has to feel alive don't they? That's why they do what they do, and empty themselves out.
"Are you sad?"
"Yes."
It's just too bad, that in emptiness, there is also sadness.