"How was the aptitude test?" My mother asked as soon as I came home. My result was divergent. We aren't supposed to tell, but my mother says what she feels, like all the Candor. Unlike all the Candor though, is her ability to lie. She can fool even the rest of her chosen faction. She fooled me for sixteen years.
"Inconclusive... What does that mean?" I looked at the door, making sure it's closed. "She called me... Divergent." I whispered the last word No one was supposed to know. My mother is a loud mouth, even if I am not, But now she talks quietly too.
"Divergence is belonging to more than one faction. It's not bad. It is feared. Tomorrow in the Choosing Ceremony you will have to pick where you belong. Abnegation and Amity will accept you, Erudite will study you, and Dauntless will try to kill you, because of it. It's imperative that this remain hidden. Do you understand?" I nod silently. I had never seen my mother like this and feared what she had to say.
"What about our faction?" I had to ask.
"You cannot stay in this faction. It doesn't matter what they will do." She responded. "There's a lot I have to tell you before you choose. This will change your life. But first I have to work. You need to think about what you do have aptitude for and decide what you will choose. I hope I can help you start to build something more than a life of fear, and hiding. Something better than what I have." With that she pulled on her coat and walked out the door. I didn't have time to respond.
While she's gone, I set to work distracting myself with tasks so as not to think about what she said. I folded all the laundry, washed the dishes, and tidied up. By the time mother came home I was just sitting in the floor staring at my reflection. I have a heart shaped face, framed by short, black hair, but most startling is my eyes. Mom says they're deep gray, like a stormy night, with hints of the raging sea beneath.
"I'm Home!" My mother calls out as she walks in the door. "What are you doing on the floor? Did you eat dinner? It's almost eleven, what are you still doing up? You have a big day tomorrow. Oh, right we need to talk. Well, help me make dinner and we can talk and cook. Get out a saucepan."
She starts to talk as I help her. "I'll start with your father." She sighs, suddenly looking worn out. "He left. Before he knew about you. He knew the factions were corrupt, and he needed to see the outside. He said he wanted to know if there was more to life than a corrupt city full of... Well, I can't tell you what he said, but it's the reason he's gone. I couldn't keep him here. Nothing could."
I was stunned. I couldn't believe he might still be alive. I could find him. I need to become Dauntless. I need to go past the gate. And most importantly, I need to find my father. "This is a lot to take in. I ate earlier," Lie. "So I think I'm going to head to bed and think about all this. Is there anything else I should know?" I actually need a plan, and time to figure out how to survive initiation. Starting with finding weaknesses.
"No, Dear. Go on to bed. You'll need your rest for tomorrow. Big day ahead!"
I walk into my room, white carpet, black bedding, white sheets, white pillows. It's perfectly Candor. I sit down on my bed, which is up against the wall by the door. My room is square. There's a wardrobe in the corner, and a window looking out on the city. I have a window seat in front of it, and a small bookshelf holding the few books I own. I have a few pictures of my family and childhood on the shelf also. There's a small desk in the corner for school work. By tomorrow I will never see this room again.
I should warn mother. I get up and join her at the table.
"I've made a decision. I'm going to chose Dauntless. I need to find what's beyond the fence." I say as she eats.
"That's good. I was hoping you would. That's where your father was from. You will need to ask him why he transferred if you find him. I'm proud of you, and I love you no matter what happens. Do not let anyone find out about your divergence. They will kill you. Your father told me about Dauntless initiation. You will fight. You will be ranked, and you will face your fears in a simulation. The simulations will reveal your Divergence, so be careful with them. Do not discuss it with anyone. Try to calm your body down instead of manipulating the simulation. That will give you away. Do not make yourself stand out, and do not be the first jumper. Try to stay in the middle of the pack." She gets up, holding up a finger, signaling me to wait, and leaves the room. She comes back with a book on combat, and fighting techniques. It also describes knife throwing, and gun firing. "This was given to me by your father. Study it. It will improve your rank. It's small enough to bring with you to the compound. You have to be in the top ten by the end of initiation. Top five by the end of stage one." She hands me the book, which fits in my jacket pocket, and kisses my forehead.
"I love you. Find him, and a better life. Get some rest before the big day ahead." With that she starts to wash dishes, and I head to my room, intending to think on what she's given me.
I need to find my fears. I'm afraid of heights, falling, insects, and powerlessness. How can I face them? I need to convince myself I won't get hurt by them. I need to act in spite of them and stay calm. When I reach the compound, in my free time, I need to find heights, and stay there until I can calm down. That is the only way I will be able to beat them.
The book is called Combat for Fun and Defense by Eric Tyler. There's a picture of a target on the cover. I open it up to the first chapter, titled Stance: How to Stand in Different Situations of Offense and Defense. I start to read, and practice the stances for almost an hour until I get the hang of each one. According to the back of the book I have a willowy body type, and should use my knees and elbows rather than brute force with my fists and feet. I practice a few moves with my elbows, until I'm tired. It's past midnight when I finally get to sleep.
After breakfast, I stay in my room and practice more with the book. By the time it's time to leave for the choosing ceremony, I've mastered the kicks and punches in the second chapter, and practiced the stances in the first enough to memorize them.