Katara scooped rice into another bowl and handed it to Aang who passed it to Zuko so it went around the circle and arrived at Teo. They had a system for meal-times at the Western Air Temple, with more people than the usual four they were used to. Katara served whatever was being eaten, while the others sat in a circle and passed each bowl around until the person before them had gotten theirs, in which case they kept theirs and so on and so forth. Most of the time Aang would be the one sitting next to Katara, getting the second to last meal.
Aang watched as Katara finally got a bowl of rice for herself, making sure everyone had gotten their food before beginning to eat. As Katara settled into her seat with her meal, Aang noticed something different about her with his finely tuned eyes. Katara's wrist covering has shifted a bit and exposed a part of her wrist, and while she was eating Aang saw skin that was tinted white-- a scar. He was transfixed by this small flaw in Katara's tan complexion and couldn't look away. Katara noticed where his eyes were focused and quickly hid her wrist behind her bowl, adjusting the binding as she did so. Katara flashed him a smile and went back to eating and pretending everything was normal. But Aang had seen the fear in her eyes when she had caught him staring. There was something she wasn't telling him. But, there was nothing she couldn't tell him! At least until now…
After dinner, Katara excused herself to go to the stream to practice a bit of waterbending. As soon as she was out of sight, Aang faked a giant yawn, "I think I'm just gonna head to bed…" he said as he slunk backward towards his room. But when no one was looking he quickly scurried off towards the stream, eager to get a closer look at Katara's wrist and find out what she was hiding.
He crept up to the stream, but instead of seeing Katara standing in the stream up to her waist in water like he had expected, he saw her sitting on the bank, knees pulled up to her chin, staring at the stars. Aang walked over to Katara, feet barely making a sound, and sat down next to her. "I thought you were going to be waterbending," he stated quietly, making her jump.
"Aang- I didn't… when did you get here?"
"Just a few minutes ago," he replied.
"Oh," she said, clearly at a loss for words. They were quiet for a minute until Aang's curiosity finally took over.
"Katara, at dinner tonight… I know… I know you were trying to… to hide something."
"Hide? I wasn't hiding anything. I can tell you anything, Aang."
"Then give me your hand," he replied simply, expecting her to refuse. But much to his surprise, Katara relinquished her hand to him, though she did it reluctantly, and winced as he began to unwrap the bindings, exposing the small scar she didn't want him to see.
Katara pointedly turned away, but kept her hand limp in Aang's, allowing him to rub his fingers on the slightly raised flesh of the scar. The scar itself was no bigger than Aang's fingertip, but what amazed him as he stroked her soft wrist, was the fact that the scar was in the shape of an Air Nomad symbol- something that clearly wasn't accidental. They sat in silence for a while, Katara still facing the opposite direction, and Aang still absentmindedly caressing her scar.
"Why'd you do it Katara?"
"Because it was all too much," She said, her voice thick with tears squelched into her throat, "Because I was so twisted up inside, I'd have to do this just to forget."
Her knees were growing numb, and they began to tingle, the feelings of static shooting up her calves. She didn't move from her spot though, but instead continued to stare at the loose chunk of metal in the wall in front of her. Slowly, almost painfully, she opened her waterskin, and sliced off the ragged piece of metal from the wall that had almost been calling her name since they arrived on their commandeered ship. The metal was cool to the touch, and it was comforting to just hold it in her palm, the weight giving her a small sense of feeling, unlike the boy who lay in front of her.
The room was lit dimly, and the candle that was used to do it cast an eerie red glow, elongating the shadows, and making Katara feel even more helpless. The sharp edge of the metal was digging into her palm as she gripped it tightly, almost fearing, almost regretting what she was about to do. Almost.
Katara needed to feel something, anything, she couldn't take not knowing, she couldn't take the twisted feeling in her stomach that told her Aang would never wake up again. She brought the metal to her wrist, and created a small spiral, just a faint white line, not yet breaking the skin. She scratched two more white spirals into her wrist, creating an Air Nomad symbol, not purposefully, it just felt right, like that was what the metal wanted her to do. Katara now moved back to the first spiral, breaking the skin, and feeling the sharp sting, which spread to her fingertips, tingling just like her legs were. She repeated the process with the last two spirals, and continued on to deepen each one, retracing over and over.
With each deepening in the cuts, she felt more there. Less inside herself, out of the dream she had been in. The physical pain took her mind off of the twisting pain inside of her, the pain she thought would never ebb. Katara kept going until she saw what she wanted; rich crimson liquid tracing each spiral, making them glisten like an Air Nomad symbol that was adorned with garnets. Katara just watched for a moment as the blood began to spill over the indents in her skin, until she made the rash decision to take the now empty amulet from around her neck and make it full again. Katara quickly rewrapped her blue wrist bindings and decided to tell no one. Even though, sitting by Aang's bedside, she repeated this procedure every night.
"Katara- I still don't understand…" Aang said sadly, wishing he could have taken away some of her pain, wondering why she hadn't come to him, instead of doing this obscenity to herself.
"It was after Ba Sing Se, Aang. It was when I didn't know if you would ever be ok again… Every night I was doing it, I kept telling myself that I had to stop… kept thinking I was insane… but until you woke up…" She trailed off, but Aang understood what she meant- she had kept deepening the cut every night until he had woken up.
"That's not all though…" she began again, but instead of finishing her thought with words, she took the amulet that had previously contained the Spirit Oasis water from around her neck and handed it to him. Aang took it, and found it wasn't empty as expected, but full of water.
"Open it."
He did so, and found that it was filled almost completely with glistening red liquid. Aang audibly gasped, but caught himself, and stifled it immediately.
"It's from every day until you woke up," she said answering his unverbalized question.
"Katara- you… you… " he stuttered, "This was all because of me?" He was appalled at himself, how could he have caused her so much pain? Why hadn't he woken up sooner?
"Don't blame yourself," she said sternly, spinning him around so they were eye to eye, "Don't ever blame yourself for my mistakes."
"This is all my fault though! I never want you to be hurt on my behalf and here you are hurting yourself. All because of me!"
"No! Don't… don't, Aang. It was my choice- my own- to do what I wanted to."
Aang was silent at this, and once more grabbed her hand, but this time holding it up so it was eye level in between the two of them. "I won't blame myself," he said quietly, "if you promise to never do anything like this again."
"I…I don't know if I can make that promise," Katara murmured.
"Katara please," Aang almost begged, "I can't stand to see you hurt. I care about you too much."
Katara had been looking away, but at this comment, eyebrows raised in a state of shock, she turned back to face him. "Wha… what do you mean?" she asked.
"I love you, Katara. I can't stand to see you hurt in any way, because I am completely and utterly in love with you. I'd do anything for you. Anything at all, just promise me you won't do this any more. Please," Aang pleaded. Katara was now awestruck, her breath caught in her throat.
"You… you… love me," she uttered, "Anything? I… I…"
"Katara please. Just promise me," Aang said, not willing to let the subject drop.
"I promise," she whispered, "but… you… you said anything, right?"
"Yes," Aang said, relief washing over his features now that he had gotten the promise, "I'd do anything for you. Anything at all," he paused a minute before adding, "and I'll prove it to you."
Without another word, Aang created a small triangle of rock, with a sharp edge, and before Katara had figured out what he was going to do, Aang had begun to carve a Water Tribe symbol into his wrist, in the same spot Katara had her scar. Katara quickly swatted the stone out of his hand, but true to his nature, Aang had finished the symbol before she had taken away his tool. He was quick and accurate, making the cuts deep and beautiful in one motion, unlike Katara who had taken her time on each one, cherishing the pain.
Now he picked up the amulet, and bent the small amount of blood that had collected on his wrist into the amulet. Katara looked horror-stricken at what he had just done. "Why did you have to do that to prove that you cared? I trust your word just fine!"
"This just seemed like the right thing to do, you know?" he replied with a shrug. And Katara did admit to herself, she did know, like making the air nomad symbol, it just seemed right.
Now she had an idea that she had been pondering for some time, and to Katara this seemed like the opportune moment. And so like carving the air nomad symbol and putting her blood in the amulet, she made another rash decision. Katara grabbed Aang's shoulder and pulled him into a kiss. She felt his lips warm under hers, but before too long pulled away, waiting to see his reaction. She could still taste him, a fresh, sweet taste- something she longed to taste again.
"Wow," was the only answer she got as Aang finally regained speech.
Katara grinned as he pulled her into another kiss, but as he did so, Aang, being a tad less graceful than Katara, had thrown his weight all on the right side causing them to crash onto the grass. They now lay side by side facing each other, laughing into each others mouths, never breaking their connection. And Katara finally got the opportunity she had been craving, she submerged into sheer bliss, surrounded by Aang, his taste, his smell, his touch. Soon they were tangled up in each other, and Katara felt something warm running down her cheek. Eyes closed, and in ecstasy, she chose to ignore the warm tickling sensation because it meant breaking contact with Aang. It wasn't long until she tasted a salty metallic flavor in her mouth. It contrasted with the taste Aang was leaving in her mouth, and she liked it.
Katara had come to the decision that blood was a truly exceptional thing.
A/N: Haha wow… I have some strange obsession with Kataangness and blood…
And on an irrelevant note; isn't it odd where inspiration comes from?