I got a candle
And I've got a spoon
I live in a hallway with no doors
And no rooms
Under a windowsill
They all were found
A touch of concrete within the doorway
Without a sound
Sam sat on the floor of the abandoned warehouse he'd been squatting in since Dean and Cas disappeared from the Leviathan's lab.
His hands were trembling as he held the lighter beneath the spoon, melting the contents to a liquid. It's been weeks since his last hit. He loaded the syringe with the warm liquid and brought it to his arm.
He stuck the needle in his vein and pushed down on the plunger, releasing the contents into his bloodstream. He closed his eyes as he felt the rush burn through his body.
Someone save me if you will
And take away all these pills
And please just save me if you can
From my blasphemy in my wasteland
Sam laid his head back against the damp cold wall, high as a kite, pleading with no one in particular to save him. He huffed to himself because no one will ever come for him.
How did I get here
And what went wrong
Couldn't handle forgiveness
Now I'm far beyond gone
I can hardly remember
The look of my own eyes
How could I love this a life so dishonest
It made me compromise
It's been a year since Sam lost his big brother and Cas. Sam had become a shell of his former self. He couldn't remember how he let himself get to this point.
He's become pale. His eyes are rimmed with dark circles. He can't remember what he looked like before the shit hit the fan. Sam barely eats. Sleep became a foreign custom to him. He can't close his eyes without nightmares plaguing his mind.
Someone save me if you will
And take away all these pills
And please just save me if you can
From my blasphemy in my wasteland
Jump in the water
Jump in with me
Jump on the altar
Lay down with me
The voices in Sam's head, which sounded suspiciously like Lucifer, kept telling him to just end it. Everyday Sam held on to the hope that somebody will save him. That's all he had left and he sure as hell was gonna hold on to it as hard as he could. That little glimmer of hope sounded a lot like Dean, telling him to fight; to hold on.
Dean's been back for a year and all that time, he's been trying to find his little brother. It's been months and nothing. When the kid doesn't want to be found, he sure does a hell of a job. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Finally, Cas reported back that he may have found something. Dean held on to his own hope that this reunites him with Sam.
The hardest question to answer
Is why
Why
Someone save me if you will
And take away all these pills
And please just save me if you can
From my blasphemy in my wasteland
Somebody save me
Somebody save me
Somebody save me
Somebody save me
Somebody save me
Please don't erase me
Sam couldn't hold out much longer. He felt that last high rushing through his system. His eyes felt heavy and his body slumped over to the floor. He didn't even flinch when the warehouse door was kicked in.
Dean was skeptical that this abandoned warehouse was where his brother would be, but he couldn't walk away and not know. He kicked in the door and saw Sam slumped over on the floor.
Dean immediately ran toward his brother, Cas following quickly behind. Dean fell to his knees beside Sam, checking for a pulse. He heaved a sigh of relief when he felt the side of Sam's neck. It was growing weaker with every pulse, pushing the drugs faster through his body.
Dean looked pleadingly up at Cas, asking him to help his brother. Cas crouched down beside the brothers and placed two fingers against Sam's temple. He pulled his fingers away after a few minutes, a solemn look on his face.
He looked at Dean and gave him a small, weak smile. Dean let out the breath he'd been holding and nodded. He stood up and bent down and picked up his little brother and carried him out of the warehouse.
Dean vowed that he was going to save his brother, consequences be damned.