Skulduggery Pleasant: the future clock
Valkyrie was bored, for two hours her and her partner Skulduggery Pleasant had been sitting in the sanctuary meeting room, listening to Erkstine Ravel go on about something to do with an adept mage, called Silver Minute.
"…and…um…you should all know to be extremely careful and to give any information to the…um… sanctuary."
Valkyrie sighed, thinking about how horrible Erkstine was with speeches.
She felt a small nudge and turned to her right and looked at the always smiling face of Skulduggery.
His head was cocked to the side in his usual way and she could almost see his expression of amusement.
"What" she muttered, glaring at Skulduggery.
"You look like a frustrated kitten," he whispered, "care to share why?"
Valkyrie looked at him in annoyance, and poked him hard in the ribs, "good to know my complete and utter rage comes across as, how did you put it? Oh yes, a frustrated kitten, how scary. Oh, and Skulduggery, I'm just reminding you that I still plan on blaming you for dragging me along to this pointless meeting about things that don't concern me. So when this meeting finishes, I am going to find something to hit, and if that turns out to be impossible, I'm going to hit you,"
Skulduggery snorted, earning glares from around the room and a raised eyebrow from Ghastly Bespoke.
Madam Mist stood up and cleared her throat, "Detectives Pleasant, Cain, if there is anything that you find amusing about this threat, please feel free to mention it to the council."
Skulduggery stood, "Well, first of all who choses the name Silver, I mean its even worse than Thrasher, and that zombie rea-"
He stopped abruptly and looked down at Valkyrie, who had just slapped him.
"What?" He said, looking confused as his partner looked at him with amusement.
Valkyrie bit her lip to stifle her laugh, "When Mist said that, she meant shut up."
"Oh" Skulduggery muttered and sat down, "She could have just said so."
Valkyrie raised her eyebrow "What ever do you mean detective," she mocked "Madam Mist is too polite for that
"My young apprentice" Skulduggery sighed with a mock forlorn tone of voice, "you have much to learn, it Is not that she is polite, no you see, it is simply because she cannot resist my charms."
Valkyrie rolled her eyes and Skulduggery turned his head back to a confused Ravel, who was now repeating his earlier speech about invisible leprechauns.
"I didn't know leprechauns existed" Valkyrie whispered to Skulduggery.
"That's because they don't," he muttered back.
"Then why…?"
"Because fear is the alternative for respect, the two most powerful ways to rule. If everyone thinks the sanctuary is using invisible leprechauns as guards, they immediately fear what they didn't know existed."
"Oh," Valkyrie mused "that doesn't sound familiar at all" she directed a glance at Skulduggery, and he cocked his head.
"Miss Cain, are you suggesting I use fear to provoke respect?" He said with a smile in his voice.
"Of course not, o' great master, you are to kind and superior to-"
"And handsome, and lethal, and powerful, and charming, witty, brilliant, and of course, modest" he sang, earning himself another slap from Valkyrie, but this time her eyes were shining with laughter.
"I knew I shouldn't have said that, the last thing we need is to inflate your ego even more."
"Ahh, Valkyrie, you know me far to well."
"Well yes, you do learn a thing or two after spending infinite amounts of time, with the only living skeleton, who also happens to have the biggest ego"
She paused "Ever." Valkyrie added as an after thought.
Skulduggery chuckled quietly to himself, and after a few moments of glaring at the skeleton, Valkyrie joined in as well.
"Detectives!" A high voice screeched.
Valkyrie glared at Dustin Keller, an adept who's hair and eyes changed color depending on his mood, his hair was a bright red and his eyes were changing between orange and yellow.
"Yes Keller?" Valkyrie looked at him innocently. "Still holding out for that promotion I see" she clicked her tongue. "Shame really. Isn't it, to know that your just not good enough to be called detective?"
"Why you…" Dustin stalked over to where Valkyrie and Skulduggery were seated, and drew back his arm.
Suddenly a cold voice spoke "you were not about to hit my partner."
Skulduggery's voice was full of power and he room chilled as everyone near him skidded away it reminded them to much of the old Skulduggery, fueled by hatred and anger.
"Were you… Dustin."
Valkyrie looked at her partner, thankful once again that they were on the same side. She had never heard him so cold and angry before and if she hadn't known him better, she would have run from the room.
Dustin was frozen on the spot and looked as if he had peed himself.
"Of course not Mr Pleasant" he squeaked out before running out of the room.
"Well," Skulduggery said cheerfully, as if nothing had happened "I wonder where he went."
Tanith rolled her eyes and turned back around, while Ghastly and Erkstine sighed. Everyone else in the room looked at him with their mouths hanging open, until Madame Mist cleared her throat. Valkyrie grinned and had to stifle a laugh, while Skulduggery cocked his head, in his signature gesture.
Erkstine was just about to start talking again, when there was suddenly a bright silver flash.
As the light suddenly disappeared, in its place stood a little girl, who looked about four or five. The room had jumped to its feet, Skulduggery and Valkyrie held fireballs in their hands, while Tanith had her sword drawn. The girl looked at them all with wide watery eyes, and the room let out a tense breath and lowered their defenses.
Valkyrie took another look at the little girl, she had bright emerald green eyes, and long, straight, black hair with a small button nose and thick black eyelashes.
"Valkyrie!" Ghastly shouted, "She looks just like you!"
"What…" Valkyrie started, but was cut off by the little girl.
"Mummy!" The girl flew at Valkyrie and hugged her. The shocked expressions on everyone's faces were priceless.
"Well Ghastly," Tanith muttered "You weren't to far off."
Erkstine was next to speak, stumbling over his words "Um…sweetheart… why d-don't you t-tell ev-everyone what your name is." He stuttered, Valkyrie almost giggled, she doubted that had been in the job description. She could almost imagine; and if a child who looks like your head detectives partner comes along, in 25 words or less please state what you would do.
"Ellanor," she said simply "Ellanor Pleasant."
Skulduggery stepped forward and spoke up "Pleasant… but, but that would mean-"
"Daddy!" The little girl cried running over and jumping on Skulduggery.
"What!" The majority of the sanctuary yelled.
Ellanor looked at them all in confusion, pointing to Valkyrie she said;
"She's my mummy," her finger moved to Skulduggery "And he's my daddy."
"But-but how?" an elemental called Aurian Blasted said.
Ellanor looked at Aurian in confusion,
"My name is Ellanor Pleasant, I am four years old and was born on October 15th 2021. my mummy and daddy are Valkyrie Pleasant and Skulduggery Pleasant."
"T-t-two thousand and t-twenty one?" Tanith asked.
Ellanor nodded "Is something wrong Aunty Tanith?
Tanith nodded and took the little girls hands, looking estatic about being called aunty, "Sweetie, it's not 2021 yet, you've gone back in time"
Ellanor nodded, "I know, I just thought I would only have to say it once" she retorted.
Ghastly laughed, "she has your attitude Val" he chuckled.
Ellanor looked up at Ghastly with big eyes "You always say that Uncle Ghastly."
Ghastly spluttered, "U-uncle?"
"Yes" Ellanor said simply, but then looked at the confused faces around her she elaborated, "Aunty Tanith is like Mummy's sister, so since your married to her, you're my uncle."
"Married?" Ghastly said faintly, suddenly Tanith pounced,
"I knew it!" She yelled in victory, as she kissed Ghastly on his lips,
"You do love me!"
Ghastly's shocked expression morphed into one of happiness, as be kissed Tanith back.
"Well," he said smilingly "it was the worlds worst kept secret," he directed a glare at Skulduggery.
Skulduggery just tilted his hat, "you're welcome" he said happily.
"Well?" Tanith asked.
"Well what?" Valkyrie replied.
Tanith sighed, "Thick," she muttered to Ghastly, who chuckled lightly. Raising her voice slightly she looked between Skulduggery and Valkyrie who both looked perplexed.
"Well, aren't you to going to go and make out in a broom closet somewhere?" She asked as innocently as she could.
Valkyrie turned beet red, and if Skulduggery had had a face it would have been the same color.
Tanith looked at the girl she considered her sister and said in mock anger,
"Val, do it. Now" Tanith watched as her sisters eyes widened slightly and a look of defiance crossed Valkyries features.
"Fine then, Tanith. Maybe I will"
"Yeah right" Tanith smirked.
Skulduggery watched the exchange in complete confusion, he had no idea what they were on about, probably just some girly stuff, he thought. He snapped out of his thoughts as he saw Valkyrie coming towards him, god she was beautiful, and she didn't even know it. He stopped, "wait" he muttered, where the hell were these thoughts coming from?! He looked back at his partner who now stood in front of him, and tilted his head to the side, "Skul…" she murmured,
"Hmmm," he replied looking straight at her and having no idea where this was going.
Suddenly, he felt her lips on his teeth, it felt beautiful, like perfection, he tapped his facade and began kissing her back, it was sweet oblivion, she had awoken feelings in him that he gave up on ever since his wife had died. After what seemed like too soon, they broke apart and someone began clapping, followed by someone else, and eventually the whole room burst out in loud applause and catcalls.
Ellanor ran up to them and Skulduggery hugged her with tears in his eyes. He had a second chance, after all this time, he had another chance at love and a new family. Valkyrie smiled at him, and hoisted Ellanor up onto her hip, lifting her face to his and giving him a quick kiss, much to Ellanor's disgust.
"Sooooo," Tanith smiled "I guess this means you're dating" Valkyrie punched her.
"Hypocrite"
"Kid"
"Pirate"
"Goth girl"
"Bossy older sister"
"Annoying little girl"
"I can beat you in a fight"
"At least I'm not a Necrophiliac"
"Ouch" Valkyrie muttered "Low blow"
"That's my job" Tanith winked.
"Love you too Tan," Valkyrie said, her words laced with sarcasm.
Tanith laughed and walked back to her seat leaving the room quiet once again.
"Back to issues of actual importance" Mist stated, no one bothered to argue with her, they all knew that it would just worsen her temper, and the idea of spiders crawling all over them was not a pleasant thought.
"What are we going to do about the threat of Darquesse and Lord Vile?" Mist continued.
Surprisingly, it was Ellanor that spoke up, "Why are you so worried about them?" She said in confusion. "They would never hurt anyone unless that person was a baddy."
"What do you mean child?" China Sorrows entered the room and spoke for the first time.
"Oh No." Valkyrie said quietly to Skulduggery.
Skulduggery stiffened, "They were going to find out eventually" he sighed, although his shoulders remained tense, "I guess it may as well be now."
Valkyrie nodded, and turned her head into Skulduggery's chest and he held her close, praying that it would all be okay. Ghastly gave them an odd look as if trying to figure out why they were so upset, but shook his head and turned back around dazed.
Ellanor continued, "Darquesse and Lord Vile would never hurt anyone on purpose" she said as if it was the most obvious thing.
"But they would hurt each other child" China Soothed "the last time they were together they destroyed most of Dublin in their battle."
But Ellanor was defiant "NO!" She yelled "Don't you understand, Darquesse and Lord Vile are LOVE! They would never try to hurt each other on purpose!" She stopped to get her breath "don't you understand?" She said,
Skulduggery held Valkyrie closer and felt her tears on his chest.
"Darquesse and Lord Vile, are my Mummy and Daddy!"
There was a collective gasp around the room and all eyes focused on Skulduggery and Valkyrie, hoping to see that it was just a lie. They were disappointed.
~•~•~•~
Ghastly looked at his two best friends in shock. Valkyrie and Skulduggery were the two most evil and powerful sorcerers on Earth. It just didn't seem right.
Madame Mist suddenly pounced on Valkyrie who was knocked to the ground unconscious.
Mist snorted "Darquesse? Yeah right"
There was a sudden clanging and they all looked over to skulduggery, who was no longer Skulduggery, but as the armor attached itself to him he became Lord Vile.
"Don' . , Mist" Vile/Skulduggery hissed.
"W-who are y-you?" Ravel stuttered.
Vile looked at the man and said; "I am both Skulduggery Pleasant and Lord Vile, Skulduggery still has control over me and he forbids me to kill any of you. If that was different," he paused "you would all be dead.
There was suddenly a scream and the sound of bones crushing, the sanctuary members looked over to see Darquesse simply looking at Madame Mist with a cruel smile on her face.
"And you?" Ravel asked.
Darquesse/Valkyrie laughed, "I am both. Unfortunately, Valkyrie has control over me" Darquesse snarled "I cannot kill any of you,"
If it was possible Darquesse's eyes softened as she looked at Ellanor.
"Especially you, Ellanor. Not that I would like to kill you anyway, no, you are the child of myself and Lord Vile." Darquesse laughed evilly, "But the child of the spider on the other hand, Valkyrie had no control over me killing her. Valkyrie hates her almost as much as I hate everyone."
Darquesse paused,"Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to stay in his room? I am hardly containing myself to not go out and kill everyone" she frowned "I could destroy the world you know" she said suddenly "I can feel it running through me. It would be as simple as-" she clicked her fingers "-that. And BOOM! gone nothing just darkness and blood, lots of blood.
Darquesse tilted her head, a very Skulduggery like gesture that proved she was, in fact, Valkyrie.
"But mortals are idiots" she stated "it will be much more fun to watch the tear the world apart themselves.
Darquesse suddenly gasped and collapsed "You promised" she said to Vile.
Vile leant down "I promised that I'd prove I loved you" He sighed and cocked his head reminding everyone of the man under the armor.
"Skulduggery and Valkyrie know how to love. We only know what love feels like because of them" Vile sighed. "My darling Darquesse, I wish that we could love, but it seem the other sides of our souls can love more than us"
"I shall see you soon my love. I love you always" Vile whispered, and gently kissed her.
Skulduggery and Valkyrie broke apart, "I love you too Vile," Valkyrie whispered to him, "Always."
"I do to."
"You love me too?"
"No..."
"But you just said..."
"I said I do too. Meaning I love me too,"
"Dammit Skul, you just have to ruin the moment, don't you?"
"Am I getting to predictable?"
"Yes. And now I'm going to look for something to hit."
"You have a violent nature Miss Cain"
"It's Mrs Pleasant to you sir. And don't act so innocent… I had a violent teacher."
"Toućhe"
The End.
I hope you liked it, this is my first story so I'd appreciate nice feedback. Just a quick disclaimer: I don't own the Skulduggery franchise ~ nope that would be the amazing Author Derek Landy. Thank you to anyone who read this. And please review just for me!