The Best Year Ever

by scoobysnack

Basically my attemt at writing...this story is on another site but under a different pen name since it was already taken on this site...here are chapters 1 through 6...hopefully more up soon

CHAPTER 1…Welcome back seniors

"Ugh…that has got to be the most depressing thing I have ever seen…"

Ashley glared at the banner that hung in front of the main entrance to the school.

Welcome back seniors

"Oh come on its not that bad…senior year is supposed to be the best year ever right?"

Ashley made a face at Spencer as she let herself be dragged down the main walkway and into the school. It was the first day back after a long and leisurely summer and both girls couldn't wait for the school year to begin. Spencer couldn't wait because it meant the last year in high school and a year closer to her going to college. Ashley on the other hand couldn't wait because this meant her final year as an adolescent and she couldn't wait to be 18 and free of mommy-dearests control. The year had potential.

This past summer also had potential and proved to be one of the most interesting and fun ones either girl had ever had. Paula Carlin had moved out and was living in an apartment near the hospital, Glen had recovered from his torn ACL and had spent the entire summer going through rehab to get back on track, Clay had taken summer courses and he was already bubbling with excitement about college applications or something like that, and Spencer…well Spencer had come full circle with her sexuality and she had definitely been more secure in the new relationship. It didn't hurt that Arthur had a long talk with Spencer shortly after Paula left and gave Spencer a chance to really open up about how she was feeling and what she was going through. All in all he pretty much won the "dad of the year" award and went out of his way to make Ashley feel welcome at the Carlin residence. Clay and Glen still didn't quite understand Spencer's choice, but at least they didn't bug her about it. Too much. Basically the summer was full of changes and surprises, and Ashley had to admit, she had a blast not leaving LA for once.

But like all good things the summer came to an end and Ashley and Spencer now found themselves back where it all began. School. As the girls made their way to their lockers they looked around at all the excitement going on around them. First days back are always fun and technically, this was Spencers first first day at King High.

"Ash! Spence! Hey guys…"

The girls turned to see Aiden walking towards them grinning from ear to ear as he guided a pretty blonde girl towards them.

"Hey Aiden…"

Ashley grinned at her friend and felt her grin grow even wider when she felt Spencer like her arm through hers as she greeted the pair. Spencer smiled sweetly at the couple.

"Hey Aiden…hi I'm Spencer…"

"Oh sorry…this is Jamie…she's new…"

The new girl looked at the two girls shyly and Ashley felt kind of sorry for her. Transitioning to a new school is hard enough, but doing it senior year must really be rough. She stuck her free hand out.

"Hi Jamie…I'm Ashley…this is Spencer…so where ya from?"

Jamie smiled warmly at Ashley, glad that this new person was nice unlike many people she had met in LA over the summer.

"All over. Lets see…Oregon…Hawaii…California…but most recently Japan."

"Really? Wow that's cool…"

Ashley gave Spencer a goofy smile and she couldn't help but feel herself fall a little bit more in love with Spencer for her quasi-dorkyness. She turned her attention back to Jamie.

"So are you a teen runaway or do you just really like to travel?"

"Oh haha...no my dad's in the Navy."

"Military brat huh?"

"Ash…"

"What? Think of it as a term of endearment…besides…getting to see all those cities…that must have been cool."

All four laughed and Jamie just shook her head.

"Sometimes. So are you guys from around here."

"Yup…born and raised…"

"I'm from Ohio."

Jamie smiled at Spencer and she was glad that she wasn't the only non-LA native.

"So what made you move out here?"

"Parents…"

"Ah enough said…"

RING

The first bell of the year sounded signaling to the students that it was time to head to class. Aiden and Jamie had History first so they headed off and Aiden winked at Ashley and Spencer before catching up to Jamie. Ashley and Spencer turned to walk towards their lockers trying to dodge the kids that were running all over the place not wanting to be late on the first day of school.

"So what classes you got this morning?"

"Oh um…"

Spencer looked down at her schedule and scrunched her face. Even though her mother was out of the house and she had Superdad at home, she felt bad and so she had agreed to pack her schedule during senior year.

"AP Calc…then AP Physics…AP English…then…"

"Ew…you know this is SENIOR year right? You are SO the nerd…"

Spencer tried to look hurt but it came across as more of a pitiful pout and Ashley just had to laugh.

"Okay okay I'm sorry…so who do you have for Physics?"

"Um…Donaldson?"

"Cool we have second and third together then…"

"Wait you're in AP Physics AND AP English? And you called me a nerd? And since when are you so good in Science and English? You're like never in class…when do you learn?"

"Hey Science aint hard…two bodies in motion will stay in motion until they decide to change their direction…"

Spencer laughed at Ashley's rated-R version of Newton's Law of Physics. She rolled her eyes at her girlfriend.

"Um I think that's an OBJECT in motion will stay in motion Ash…"

"Hey my version is more fun. And English is easy cause most of it is like poetry…ya know…music…poetry…nevermind…"

Spencer smiled knowingly at Ashley as they grabbed their books from their lockers. Spencer had it on good authority that she was a positive influence of the role of academia in Ashley's life and she was glad that at least Ashley was applying herself…even if for the wrong reasons. Ashley quickly learned at the end of Junior year that "study breaks" were the most beneficial part of studying together…so she figured if she tried to show Spencer she was studying she would reap the rewards later. Smart girl.

"Well I got Psychology first period…save me a seat in Physics?"

"Aww do you want me to be your partner too?"

"I thought you were…"

Ashley gave Spencer a cheeky smile as she stole a quick kiss before heading off to class. Spencer grabbed the rest of the books she needed and smiled to herself as the hustle of students around her slowly died down. She was really looking forward to this school year and she had a feeling that from this point on…life as she knew it was about to change.

"Ugh…a paper and a test next week. You know I think I'm going to have to rethink this whole good student routine."

Ashley glared at Spencer who just laughed as they headed back to their lockers. They had survived the first morning of classes and now it was time for lunch. The girls dropped their books off and headed to the quad to find a table.

"Seriously Spence…this whole AP thing might be a mistake…"

"Why?"

"Well I mean what if we discover that I'm actually smarter than you…I mean what will your dad say?"

"Haha very funny…and you are smart so I don't know why you're making such a big deal…you can do it…"

"Well…I guess…besides…having you in some of my classes takes the edge off…"

Spencer rolled her eyes as they approached an open table and sat down. Aiden and Jamie spotted them and joined them after stopping to pick up Jamie's lunch.

"So what are you guys doing this weekend? First weekend back and all…"

"Grays…"

"What is Grays?"

Jamie looked confused as Aiden quickly explained.

"It's basically where everyone hangs out. Music, food, dancing…"

"Sounds like fun…"

"Great then why don't we double?"

Jamie looked more confused now and Spencer blushed a little as she cleared her throat. Even though she was okay with being gay now she felt like Ashley had kind of sprung it on the new girl. She hoped that Jamie was okay with it. Ashley on the other hand acted like it was no biggie and charged ahead.

"Yeah why don't you guys meet us at my house on Friday. I heard they're doing some kind of DJ competition. Sounds like a good time?"

"Wait I'm sorry…didn't you say something about doubling?"

Jamie looked back and forth between Ashley, Spencer and Aiden and waited patiently for an explanation. Aiden obliged her.

"Uh yeah…Spencer and Ashley are…um…what are you guys?"

"Dating." "Together."

The two girls looked at each other with unreadable expressions so they didn't see Jamie raise her eyebrows at the couple as Aiden tried to smooth the situation over.

"Yeah they're a couple…does that…freak you out?"

"Nah…my best friend back home was gay…"

"Okay…so yeah guys…Friday then? Like around 9? Ash?"

"Huh?"

Ashley had zoned out the minute that she heard Spencer say 'dating' and she wondered where that came from. Surely they were past the dating stage. What the hell was going on?

"Friday? Grays? We'll meet you guys at 9 at your place?"

"Yeah whatever…"

RING

"Hey I gotta get going. My next class is on the other side of campus…"

Ashley grabbed her stuff and headed off leaving the three of them to wonder what just happened. Aiden and Jamie were trying to make things as comfortable as possible but Spencer could have cared less. She wondered why Ashley just up and left like that.

"So yeah…I guess I should get going too…"

Spencer grabbed her stuff and just like Ashley she headed off to class. She knew that Ashley had Drama next period, which was right around the corner in the auditorium so she knew her bailing like that was not a good sign. Unfortunately for Spencer, she didn't have any other classes with Ashley which meant she wouldn't get to see her until the end of the day which meant she had to sit through two more classes before getting a chance to talk to her. This was going to be a long afternoon.

Spencer stood by Ashley's locker waiting for her so they could leave together. After a few minutes Ashley arrived looking sad.

"Hey…what's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Then why the face? What's up?"

Ashley slammed her locker shut and headed towards her car not wanting to make a scene at school. She had managed to avoid Madison and anyone else who might piss her off and she didn't need to give them ammunition by fighting with her straight-girlfriend on the first day of school. Spencer had to practically run to keep up and it wasn't until they were safely inside the confines of Ashley's car that she finally spoke.

"Dating Spence? Really?"

"What?"

Ashley had the last two periods to digest what Spencer had said at lunch. Dating. It sounded so…so…temporary. Ashley had 'dated' quite a few people but she hadn't been and hadn't wanted to be 'together' with someone since Aiden. But then Spencer came along and changed all that. Deep down Ashley knew that Spencer probably didn't see it as a big deal and she couldn't blame her, it just kind of shocked her that Spencer had dismissed their relationship so easily. Truth be told she probably shouldn't have made such a big deal about it, but once Ashley got going it was hard to tame her stubbornness. It's a fault of hers.

"You said we were dating."

"Yeah…we are right? Why are getting mad about this?"

Ashley just looked at Spencer and sighed. As much as she wanted to play the mind games and keep Spencer guessing as to why she was upset she couldn't stand to see Spencer look so hurt. She caved.

"Nothing…look I'm sorry…its really not a big deal…"

"What isn't a big deal Ash?"

"I guess you and I just have different understandings of the word dating that's all. Like I said…no big deal."

"Is that what this is about? Look Ash I'm sorry…to me dating is being with someone…like exclusively…"

"And dating to me means being with someone but still having options. That's why I freaked okay? I'm sorry."

Spencer looked at Ashley before sitting back in her seat and looking straight ahead. Ashley frowned at Spencer's tensing up, but she didn't know what to do about it. She put her car in gear and looked at Spencer.

"Where to?"

"Doesn't matter…"

Ashley sighed again and headed towards her house. She probably should have dropped Spencer off but she wanted to finish this conversation and she knew she couldn't do it at Spencer's with Glen and Clay hanging around. The drive was silent and Ashley began to see how she might have hurt Spencer's feelings. When they pulled into the driveway Ashley turned and looked at Spencer once again.

"I didn't mean that I thought you had 'options.' It just threw me that's all okay?"

Spencer sat there quietly for a moment before finally looking at Ashley. To Ashley's surprise Spencer wasn't on the verge of tears but to her disappointment Spencer didn't look that happy either. Her normally icy blue eyes were shadowed by hurt and what Ashley swore was fear.

"I know Ash. I guess this whole thing is still needing some getting used to. I think we both know what the other person meant…looks like we need to work on the articulation factor though huh?"

"Yeah…"

"And I'm guessing that you think I'm gonna ask how many people you're 'dated' huh?"

Ashley squirmed in her seat a little.

"Are you?"

Spencer held her stoic face for as long as she could before laughing and pulling Ashley in for a kiss. Ashley smiled into the kiss and started to deepen it right when Spencer pulled back a little.

"No because I don't have to know and I don't care. As long as you're TOGETHER with me…"

CHAPTER 2 Wishing on a star

"Mmmm…Ash…."

Spencer breathed her girlfriends name softly into the air as the shorter brunette left a wet trail of kisses up and down her neck. It was a typical Saturday night and Ashley and Spencer were doing what they do best…trying to work each other up to the point of no return…then stopping. See the thing is even though Spencer and Ashley had been together or dating or whatever for almost six months now…Spencer was still nervous when it came to sex. They'd gotten past the point of shyness when they saw each other almost naked…but something always stopped Spencer, and as much as it killed her Ashley never pushed Spencer farther than she was ready to go.

In the beginning Spencer tried to take care of Ashley but Ashley wouldn't let her…she didn't want to seem like all she wanted from Spencer was sex. So she did other things with Spencer. She went to the movies with her, walked on the beach with her, took her to various lookout/make out points along the coastline…hell she even endured an entire day of shopping here and there just to please Spencer. All in all Ashley Davies was a tamed woman and she loved it. She loved how excited Spencer got over small things and she loved the way Spencer seemed to glow after Ashley did something cute for her. For Spencer's birthday Ashley took her for a drive up PCH and they stopped at a random little bistro for dinner. It was a spur of the moment thing and during the entire ride home Spencer sat with Ashley's hand in her lap listening to Ashley sing to her softly. It was the best birthday of Spencer's life.

Spencer wasn't the only one getting pampered however. It never ceased to amaze Spencer how grateful Ashley was of all the little things Spencer did for her. Like the time they went to the beach and Spencer gathered some shells from the coastline and gave them to Ashley. It was weeks later when Spencer was digging around in Ashley's room for a CD when she found the shells preserved in a glass of water. Spencer thought it was the cutest thing. And Spencer always remembered what little things Ashley liked that she could give her to brighten up her day. Almost twice a week Spencer showed up to class with one of Ashley's favorite candies or other little treat for her girlfriend. Spencer saved all of her allowance to pay for tickets to a rock concert that Ashley wanted to go to and she surprised Ashley with the tickets happy just to make her girlfriend squeal with excitement. Spencer tried her best to be a good girlfriend, to bring some excitement into Ashley's life like Ashley did to hers…but to be honest, Spencer didn't really know if she did that. Ashley seemed to be so extreme…so cool…Spencer couldn't believe she had picked her out of the bunch.

Spencer also knew that as much as she tried to do little things for Ashley that proved her love, she still hadn't done the one thing that she knew Ashley wanted most. For some reason Spencer was having a hard time in this department and she knew she was driving Ashley crazy…but she couldn't help it. The long showers, the length of time it took for Ashley to pick her up sometimes after one of their 'deep' conversations, the sudden change of plans they had for the night. These were all times when Spencer felt bad because she knew Ashley had to take matters into her own hands so to speak and she hated herself for it. Spencer made a vow that soon, very soon she would give her entire being to Ashley. She just hopped Ashley would still want it.

"Ugghhhh…"

Ashley had Spencer pinned up against the counter and she was showing no mercy when it came to attacking the pulse point of Spencer's neck. One hand held Spencer firmly against the counter while the other hand was traveling south towards an inevitable destination. Ashley sometimes lost herself so much in these moments that when she would feel Spencer tense up she literally wanted to scream in frustration. But she knew better than that. She knew Spencer was worth waiting for.

"Spence?"

"Keep going…"

Ashley didn't hesitate as she let her hand run up Spencer's thigh under her skirt and brush lightly against her already soaked underwear. Ashley groaned as she felt Spencer rock slowly against her hand and suddenly she had an idea. She removed her hand much to the disgruntlement of Spencer and replaced it with her thigh instead. Being shorter has its advantages. She used her leverage and pushed up into Spencer while she let her hands wander over Spencer's bra clad breasts. Spencer's hands were doing some walking of their own and Ashley growled a little when she felt Spencer reach down and cup her ass and apply light pressure. Both girls were breathing roughly and at first Spencer didn't know what to make of Ashley's change of plans but she soon got the hint when she felt Ashley's thigh apply pressure where it was needed most.

"Ahhh….ahhh…."

"Uhhhhh…."

Both girls were moaning with desire and as to not appear totally incompetent Spencer mimicked Ashley's stance and soon both were rocking against their lovers thighs. Ashley didn't really think she could get off like this but with Spencer's scent intoxicating her senses and Spencer's light moans filling her ears…well she was almost there.

"Ash…I…uggghhh…"

Spencer tried to verbalize her needs but mostly it came out as a shaky breath and labored whispering. Ashley could sense that Spencer was really into it so she kept applying pressure with her thigh while grinding her own hips into Spencer's leg. After a few moments of this Ashley felt herself tense up and Spencer start to shake. Ashley put her arms around Spencer gently while Spencer dug her nails into Ashley's back.

"Oww…Spence…"

"Sorry…ahhhhh….sorry Ash…."

Spencer blushed profusely as she felt the orgasm rip through her body. Up until this point almost 90 of all of her orgasms had come from her own doing, but this was unreal. Ashley hadn't even really touched her and Spencer had managed to have a mind-blowing trip. It was weird.

After a few more shakes Spencer finally felt herself calm down a little and she looked at her girlfriend with a huge smile on her face. Ashley on the other hand still had her eyes closed and her arms tightly wrapped around Spencer as she let the little aftershocks of her orgasm subside. Spencer traced Ashley's features lightly with her fingertips causing Ashley to finally open her eyes and smile up at her girl. This was the farthest they'd ever gone and Ashley was glad that Spencer was comfortable enough to do this even though there was still one tiny layer of clothing between them. She wanted to hold on to this moment forever…but then her knee-jerk Ashley Davies sarcasm kicked in and she did what she did when she was scared. She made jokes.

"Jeez Spence…I had no idea you were that strong…"

"Sorry…"

Spencer blushed again this time getting even redder than before, if that was at all possible, and Ashley just laughed at her girlfriend's embarrassed face. Ashley didn't want to make Spencer feel uncomfortable, but this was new territory for her and she didn't exactly know the protocol for procedure. Ashley was used to a more direct lover and something about Spencer was so gentle and fragile that Ashley didn't know what to do with the situation. Besides…Ashley wasn't exactly the epitome of all things soft and mushy and emotional. She couldn't help but tease her just a little.

"I mean seriously Spence…I didn't even touch you and you leave these marks all over me…what are you going to do when I DO touch you? Gut me open?"

"Hey.."

Spencer pouted a little at Ashley's joking and Ashley had to admit that Spencer got even cuter when she did so. Ashley turned and kissed Spencer lightly on the nose.

"It's okay…and besides…you might want to check out a mirror…it looks like it might be cold tomorrow…turtleneck's probably a good idea…"

Spencer gave Ashley a weird look and went to the hallway bathroom to check it out.

"HOLY CRAP ASHLEY!"

Spencer had two rather large hickey's on the left side of her neck. Well large is an understatement. It looked like someone had taken a vacuum to her neck. Ashley smiled self consciously a Spencer continued to examine her severely bruised neck.

"Hey its not my fault…heat of the moment thing…sorry Spence…"

"Come on…"

Spencer took Ashley's hand and dragged the shorter girl up to her room. Ashley flopped down on her bed while Spencer dug through Ashley's makeup.

"What are you doing?"

"I need to hide this…I do have to go home remember…"

"And?"

"And you don't think my dad is going to freak when he sees this?"

Ashley went over to Spencer and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. She rested her head on Spencer's shoulder and looked at her in the mirror.

"Relax Spence…just take one of my sweatshirts and make sure to keep the hood bunched up around your neck. And tomorrow just wear your hair down and a high collared shirt…no biggie…"

"What did you read a manual on this or something?"

"Lets just say I've learned from past mistakes…"

Spencer scrunched her lips at this piece of information and she broke free of Ashley's grip. Ashley rolled her eyes slightly at Spencer's behavior but at the same time alarm bells were going off in her head as well. Spencer walked over to Ashley's closet and dug out a large hooded sweatshirt and threw it on. She went back to Ashley's mirror to check if she could see the bruising. Luckily…it was well hidden.

"Spence look…I didn't mean…"

"Its okay…I get it…how do I look?"

"Like…nevermind…"

Ashley kept her joking remark to herself as she grinned at Spencer who sauntered over to her and sat down on the bed next to her. Ashley reached up and tucked some of Spencer's 'just got screwed' hair behind her ear.

"Like what Ash?"

"Like a beautiful girl…Come on…we should get going...your dad is probably expecting you home for dinner…"

Spencer just kind of smiled at Ashley as she gathered her stuff and followed her downstairs. About half way down the staircase she grabbed Ashley's hand and pulled her back.

"What?"

"Thanks…"

"For?"

"Nothing…just thanks…"

Spencer smiled at Ashley and leaned in for a kiss. Ashley obliged and smiled into the kiss as she felt Spencer's tongue brush her lips. She deepened the kiss for a few seconds before pulling away for air.

"Come on Spence…"

They walked down to the car and just as Ashley was getting in she glanced up and caught sight of a falling star. 'What was that saying again? Oh yeah…when you wish upon a star…' She glanced over at Spencer and smiled to herself feeling probably for the millionth time how lucky she was. Spencer was truly an answer to her 'wish' and for once…just this once…Ashley believed maybe her dreams would come true.

CHAPTER 3 Save the last dance for me…

"What can't you read? No queers allowed."

Ashley and Spencer rolled their eyes at Madison Duarte and her little clan of cronies. Apparently Spencer had meant what she said about this being the best year ever and she decided that since it was their senior year that her and Ashley were going to become more involved in school-related activities. So for starters they signed up to be on the homecoming committee. Well actually Spencer signed them up and then threatened to withhold any kind of physical activity from Ashley until she participated. Spencer Carlin knew her girl well. So that's how Ashley found herself being dragged to a homecoming committee meeting which wasted a perfectly good lunch period. Spencer owed her big time.

"Get over it Madison…after all, Aiden and Glen sure did…"

Spencer snickered at Ashley's remark as they took a seat in the classroom. The 'committee' was made up of about eight of Madison's cheerbreeder clones and a few student advisors. Ashley could have thought of a million OTHER things she'd rather be doing at the moment. Most of which included Spencer. She shook her head…she couldn't be thinking like that when she still had to sit through two more classes and actually pretend to care about this stupid dance.

"As I was saying before the sexually confused walked in. What do you guys think our theme should be this year?"

"How about a western theme? You know…like a HO down?"

Ashley smiled sweetly at Madison who shot daggers at her. The breeders laughed a little but were quickly silenced by Madison's evil looks. She rolled her eyes and continued.

"So far our choices are an 80's themed dance, Romeo and Juliet…wait we can't do that…I don't think the LGBT club would like it…and the last theme is midnight in paradise. Any others?"

"How about 'A night to remember?'"

Everyone looked at Spencer, including Ashley who was quite proud of her girl. Madison glanced over at the others to see what they thought and from the looks on their faces they all liked the idea. She couldn't have that now could she.

"Okay fine. As chair of this committee I say we just vote already. Pick one theme and write it down."

"Yes your majesty…"

Everyone laughed again and scribbled down their choices. We already know what Spencer and Ashley were going to choose but among the other nine members it was going to be tough. Madison collected all the votes and read them aloud.

"Romeo and Juliet…Midnight in Paradise…Romeo and Juliet…A Night to Remember (gee I wonder who that was)…A Night to Remember…Romeo and Juliet…Midnight in Paradise…A Night to Remember…ick…Romeo and Juliet…A Night to Remember…and…A Night to Remember…fine whatever…A Night to Remember it is…so Spencer since you're so smart how do you propose we go about decorating for this night?"

"Uh…"

Spencer had only thought of the theme. She didn't think two steps ahead. Luckily that's what Ashley was for.

"How about fairy tale couples? Kind of like from She's All That? That way people can pick any couple they want. We can just decorate in classic style décor. Ya know…keep it simple…"

"So who are you two going as? Thelma and Louise?"

"Well we were going to go as Frankenstein and the Corpse Bride but I guess you're already going as that aren't you Madison? I mean you wont even have to buy a costume. Just go without makeup and I'm sure you can scare up a Corpse Bride somewhere…"

RING

Spencer and Ashley laughed to themselves as they headed out to their respective classes leaving Madison was still inside trying to figure out what Ashley meant by that. The next two periods flew by quickly and soon it was the end of the day and the two girls were walking to Ashley's car discussing the homecoming dance.

"So who should we go as?"

"You still expect me to go to that thing?"

"Why not?"

"Uh Spence don't you remember the last dance I showed up at? Not your average fanfare for a Friday night…"

Spencer cocked her head to the side and smiled mischievously at Ashley.

"Aww and to think I was ready to go as Zena and Gabrielle…"

"WHAT?"

Ashley stared at Spencer with a slightly open mouth as she pictured Spencer in one of those costumes. The costumes which left little to the imagination…hmmm…this definitely had potential.

"Okay Davies get your mind out of the gutter…I was kidding…but seriously…this could be fun don't you think?"

"I don't know Spence…I mean I have NEVER been to one of these…"

"Well we already broke your non-dance attendance record…so why not go all the way?"

"I'm TRYING to…"

"Ashley…"

"Okay okay that was low. Sorry. But seriously Spence…you want me to be on this committee and dress up and go to the dance and everything?"

"Please…"

Spencer batted her eyes a little at Ashley who just grinned and tried to look away. She hated when Spencer gave her that look because she almost always gave in. She tried to be strong.

"No Spence…I am putting my foot down…"

"Pretty please?"

Spencer leaned and trapped Ashley against her car. She leaned as close as humanly possible to Ashley's ear and whispered to her in a deep throaty voice.

"I'll let you pick the costumes…anything you want…ANYthing…"

Ashley gulped and soon a million x-rated scenarios were going through her head. She knew this was an opportunity she couldn't pass up and she really wanted to make Spencer happy. She took a deep breath before looking at Spencer and nodding.

"Fine…but I AM picking the outfits…"

"Deal…"

The girls climbed into the car and headed to the mall. Ashley announced they needed to go shopping and Spencer willingly agreed…amazed once again that she got Ashley to do something she never thought she would. Spencer just hoped that Ashley kept the outfits at least PG-13.

"Spencer hurry up…Aiden and Jamie are here!"

Aiden and Jamie were sitting in Ashley's living room waiting for Spencer to finish getting ready for the dance. It seemed those two made quite a pair recently and Ashley had to admit they looked really cute together. Aiden was wearing a simple black tuxedo with a white jacket while Jamie was all dolled up in a slinky light yellow dress. She studied them but couldn't figure it out.

"What are you guys supposed to be?"

"Bond…James Bond…"

Ashley laughed at Aidens dorky Bond impression as her and Jamie shared a knowing laugh. Ashley had to admit that Jamie looked hot as a Bond girl but nothing compared to how hot Spencer looked in her outfit.

"Come on Spence seriously…"

"Okay okay…I'm coming…"

Within a few minutes Spencer made her way down the stairs and when the trio in the living room turned and caught their first glance at her everyone's eyes bugged out and their jaws hit the floor. Spencer looked GORGEOUS. She was wearing a very form fitting white spaghetti strap dress with a ¾ in slit up the right side. The dress worshipped her body and even Jamie had to admit that Spencer looked smoking sexy in it. Her hair was done up in a French twist and she had a small wreath pinned in her hair. She walked over to Ashley and linked their fingers together. Ashley looked pretty dazzling herself in a single strap white dress with her hair tied back in a tight pony tail and Aiden had to put his tongue back in his mouth after seeing them together like this. Jamie smiled warmly at them and Aiden finally regained enough brainpower to actually speak.

"Wow you two look…wow…what are you supposed to be though?"

Spencer and Ashley looked at each other and smiled. Spencer pointed at herself first.

"Aphrodite, the goddess of love and Hera the goddess of relationships. Rulers of the ancient Greek world."

"Sweet…who picked the outfits?"

"Me…you like?"

Ashley smiled seductively at him as she ran her hand down Spencer's bare back causing her to shiver a little.

"Oh yeah…"

"Ahem…"

"Sorry…"

Aiden smiled sheepishly at his date and Ashley and Spencer shared a laugh at his expense. Soon the foursome headed out the door but Spencer stopped Ashley and looked at her sweetly.

"Thank you for going…this means a lot to me…"

"No biggie…"

"Seriously Ash…and don't worry I don't expect to dance a lot tonight…but it means a lot that we are going…"

"Don't worry Spence…we'll be fine."

Ashley kissed Spencer and took her hand leading her out the door. The hadn't taken more than a few steps before Ashley stopped and looked back at her.

"Oh and Spence?"

"Yeah?"

Ashley winked and sang a few lines of an oldie but goodie.

"And don't forget who's takin' you home
And in who's arms you're gonna be
Oh, darlin', save the last dance for me…"

CHAPTER 4 You're killing me

They were both insane.

Literally.

"Hey Ash…"

Spencer smiled at her girlfriend who opened her front door in nothing more than a very short towel and Spencer thought for a moment about forgoing the party they were going to and just having her way with Ashley right then and there. Wishful thinking.

"Hey you…"

Ashley leaned in for a kiss and just before their lips met Spencer glanced down and noticed the towel was beginning to ride low on Ashley's chest. She blushed at the sight and quickly shut her eyes and kissed the brunette before pulling back and smiling sheepishly.

"Um…so almost ready?"

"Yeah…let me just change and we're outta here…"

Ashley started to make her way up to her room when she called over her shoulder…

"Hey Spence?"

"Yeah?"

"If you wanted to see you could have just pulled the towel off…"

'Damn…busted…' Spencer blushed even more at the fact that she had gotten caught checking her girl out. She rolled her eyes and responded sarcastically.

"You wish…"

"Don't I ever…"

Ashley muttered to herself as she quickly changed and applied a little makeup before grabbing her purse and keys and heading back downstairs. The two kissed once more before heading out the door on their way to a party at Aiden's. Apparently it was tradition that the basketball team throws a party to kick off the year and this year Aiden got the lucky straw which meant the massive party would be at his house. Sucks to be him.

"Who are all these people?"

Ashley just shrugged at Spencer. Her guess was as good as any. Aiden's house was packed with people who were also spilling out into his front yard and probably the back yard as well. Aiden's parents were nice enough to go out of town for the weekend knowing their son was going to throw this party with the condition that everything was put back by the time they got home on Sunday. Which left him exactly 23 hours to clean everything up. Yikes.

"Ash…Spence!"

The girls turned to see Aiden and one of his teammates staggering over to them. Apparently the party had been raging since sunset and most of the people there were already shit faced. Ah like old times.

"Hey woah…easy there cowboy…"

Spencer tried to hold Aiden's weight since he had suddenly decided to use Spencer as a leaning post. Tyler, Aiden's basketball buddy had taken a liking to Ashley and he was trying unsuccessfully to feel her up right in front of the other pair. Ashley just shook her head at him and took Spencer's hand pulling her away from Aiden.

"Come on…lets at least get a drink…"

"Kegs are out back…hards inside…come on…lets get you ladies a drink…"

Aiden motioned to the girls to follow as he led them into the chaos that was his party. Inside the music was pumping and Spencer noticed that most the crowd were the people she tried to steer clear of at school…aka the cheerbitches and their groupies. Ugh.

"Well look what the dog dragged in…"

Madison of course had to make her presence known to Ashley ASAP. Hmm…maybe there's some repressed feelings there. Oh well. Ashley just rolled her eyes as she was used to Madison's lack of humor.

"How nice to see you Madison…ya know…speaking of dogs…where's your date?"

The two eyed each other like prizefighters about to rumble when Spencer pulled on Ashley's hand.

"Come on…let it go…"

"Awww that's right Ashley…go run along…since we all know you're Spencer's little bitch…"

"What!"

At that last comment Ashley lost it. She ripped her hand out of Spencer's and got right up in Madison's face, who, unfortunately was obviously drunk and really should have thought before making her next comment.

"That's right…her little bitch…pussy whipped and all…oh wait…you actually have to be getting LAID to be whipped right?"

The bitch went too far. Ashley shoved Madison hard into the wall and landed one solid blow to her jaw before Madison pushed back and soon the two girls were pushing and hitting each other with everything they had. Spencer tried to grab a hold of Ashley while Aiden tried to pull Madison away but it was to no avail. Madison had Ashley pinned to the ground due to her sitting on her and leave it to Ashley to make a snide comment at the last moment.

"I see you like it on top…come on baby you want it rough?"

Madison slapped Ashley hard and Ashley took it like a champ before pushing Madison off of her. Ashley jumped up and managed to grab Madison by the hair pulling back hard causing Madison to yelp in pain.

"Fuck with me again chica and its over…"

She threw Madison's head down and stormed off to the bathroom to clean herself up. Spencer followed and soon found herself locked in the bathroom with Ashley who was doing her best to try and pretend that her nose didn't hurt and that she was okay.

"Let me see…"

Ashley turned her head into the light and Spencer grimaced when she saw the bruising that was already forming under Ashley's left eye. Spencer ran her hands over Ashley's face lightly and kissed her nose ever so gently causing a little grunt to escape from her girlfriend's mouth. After the fight and what Madison had said, Ashley literally had hormones running through her veins and she didn't know if she could handle being locked in the bathroom with Spencer. She looked at Spencer and when she spoke her voice was low and husky.

"Screw this party…lets go home…"

Spencer saw the hunger in Ashley's eyes and as scared as it made her it also made her shake with anticipation. She just nodded and in one minute flat they were back in the car on the way to Ashley's. Ten minutes later they were parked and headed up to Ashley's room. When they got there Spencer expected Ashley to be all over her but it surprised her that Ashley just changed her clothes and sat on the bed.

"Ash?"

Ashley just looked up at Spencer with warm eyes but didn't say anything. Spencer walked over to her hero and sat down next to her. Spencer leaned in for a kiss on the lips but then changed her direction and headed south catching Ashley just below her slightly bruised jaw. Ashley pulled back.

"Not tonight Spence…"

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't want to…not for the wrong reasons…"

Spencer looked dumbstruck as she tried to figure Ashley out. She knew adrenaline was pumping through Ashley's system and she couldn't figure out why Ashley didn't just act on it for once.

"What do you mean wrong reasons?"

"You don't have to prove anything okay? And neither do I…"

"Prove anything? I'm not trying to prove anything…I just…"

"What Spence…you just what?"

Spencer pursed her lips at Ashley's harsh tone and she looked away out of both anger and frustration. Why does Ashley always have to be so dramatic?

"I just want to be with you okay? Is that so bad?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I mean why? Because I'm your girlfriend? Because you think I'm sexy? Because you want to try new things? Why Spence?"

Spencer looked like she had just gotten slapped in the face herself. She couldn't believe the words that were spewing out of Ashley's mouth just as much as Ashley couldn't believe she had said them. Ashley knew why Spencer wanted to be with her. But it was for that reason alone that scared Ashley and she knew part of her was unconsciously looking for a way to prove Spencer wrong. Prove that Spencer didn't really love her…because then Ashley wouldn't have to worry about disappointing or worse yet…hurting the one person who meant the world to her. Self defense tactics are great.

"What is your problem? I'm here because I want to be Ashley. I'm here because I want to be with YOU. I love YOU okay? Is that such a hard concept to grasp?"

"Has been before…"

"Save the self-pity bullshit Ashley…"

"Well at least I've experienced it…at least I know what it feels like to be in love and hear the music montages and everything. When was the last time you took a chance?"

"Experience? You want to talk about experience? Well you would with your track record…"

Ashley raised an eyebrow at this and narrowed her eyes. She didn't know Spencer had it in her to actually take her shit and throw it back in her face. She was almost proud of this side of Spencer. ALMOST. Mostly she was pissed off now and she didn't want things getting more out of hand then they already were.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

"Say what? That your 'experience' gets thrown in my face almost every day by Madison and everyone else who seems to hate either you or me? Do you think I like being reminded that you're not exactly a sweet and innocent little girl? Or do you not want me to say that in spite of your 'experience' I do want to take a chance with you and make that leap. Oh but that's right…Ashley Davies doesn't do that emotional crap. FINE. Forget it."

Spencer jumped up to leave but Ashley grabbed her arm making her stop. Spencer ripped her arm out of Ashley's grasp but at least she stood there unmoving not really sure how their night had ended up like this. Ashley looked back at Spencer with no anger or resentment in her eyes…instead there was nothing but love and it was enough to make Spencer's anger dissipate on sight. Ashley stood up and slowly walked over to her and put her arms around her.

"I do want to make that leap with you. I'm just scared of falling flat on my face that's all…"

Spencer looked at Ashley as if trying to decide if she were sincere or not and finally her heart gave in. She kissed Ashley's cheek and smiled.

"Well it can't look worse than your face does now…"

Ashley laughed and pulled Spencer down onto the bed. They'd had quite an exciting night and Ashley wanted to be sure that Spencer was really okay with going all the way instead of feeling like she needed to just to please her. Ashley looked down at Spencer who was now lying under her running her fingers gently through her hair. Spencer kind of nodded and smiled and Ashley grinned at her in response. Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer gently while her hands wandered Spencer's torso causing her to squirm in delight.

"Spence…wait…"

"Shhh Ash…I want this…I want this with you…"

That was all Ashley needed to hear. She leaned in and kissed Spencer lightly on the lips and smiled when she felt Spencer's tongue begging for permission to enter. She parted her lips slightly letting Spencer's tongue dance around her mouth ever so playfully. Spencer's hands had been doing some walking of their own and they found their way under Ashley's shirt and were now drawing patterns on her bare back. Of course Ashley didn't have a bra on. Ashley moved her kisses down to Spencer's pulse point and she smiled into Spencer's neck when she heard a light moan escape Spencer's lips.

"Uhhhhh…"

Ashley kept her mouth on the sensitive area while her hands made their way north under Spencer's top stopping to lightly cup her breasts. Spencer had moved her thigh between Ashley's and a gentle rhythm was already forming.

"Mmmm…."

Ashley moaned lightly as Spencer began raking her nails up and down Ashley's back. It was something that Spencer had discovered one night and she had no idea how crazy it drove Ashley. Spencer pulled back for a second and Ashley thought she might be changing her mind but was happily proven wrong when Spencer tugged on Ashley's shirt indicating that she wanted it gone. Ashley let Spencer slowly pull the garment off and Spencer's eyes never left Ashley's as her fingertips played lightly over Ashley's newly revealed skin.

"Ahhhh…"

Ashley closed her eyes out of pleasure as Spencer ran her fingertips over her nipples causing them to harden quickly and gave the nubs a gentle tug. Ashley smiled and put her hands over Spencer's making Spencer cup both breasts in her hands. Spencer loved the feel of Ashley's skin and she sighed contentedly as Ashley went back to kissing her neck gently and letting her own hands wander over Spencer's bra clad breasts.

Spencer had decided that this was going on long enough and she sat up abruptly ripping her own top off. Ashley let her eyes wander freely over Spencer's almost bare top and grinned when Spencer flipped her over and straddled her waist. Soon both girls were topless and they were both enjoying this new physical side of their partners. Spencer was now the one leaving a trail of wet kisses down Ashley's chest as she took one of Ashley's nipples into her mouth and sucked gently. She really didn't know how to do this but she figured adding light pressure would be the best bet.

"Ughhhh…ahhhh Spence…"

Yup right move indeed. Ashley was now the one writing under Spencer who looked quite proud of herself. Ashley watched in awe as Spencer carefully attended to both breasts before kissing her way back up to her mouth. The two locked lips again and Ashley used this time to roll them over so she was on top again. She wanted tonight to be about Spencer…and not her own needs for once. Ashley repeated what Spencer had done to her adding in some licks and gentle bites here and there and Spencer swore she could have come from that sensation alone.

"Ash…oh Ash…"

Spencer was now gripping Ashley's shoulders tightly who took that as her cue to head south. She kissed and licked a wet trail down Spencer's tummy to the waist of her jeans and drew small patterns on Spencer's stomach with her tongue before unbuttoning her pants and sliding them down slowly. After pulling the pants off she saw that Spencer was already wet and rarin to go but she decided that teasing was not out of the question. She kissed a slow and wet trail up Spencer's leg to her hip and when Ashley kissed Spencer's mound over her underwear Spencer jerked her hips upwards in anticipation.

"Ahh ahh patience baby…"

"ASH…"

Spencer's voice was low and raspy as she impatiently waited for Ashley to continue. Ashley smiled again and slowly pulled Spencer's underwear down and laughed as Spencer kicked them off hurriedly.

"Relax baby…"

"Come here…"

Spencer grabbed Ashley and much to her surprise had Ashley completely naked in almost one fluid motion. The two girls looked at each others exposed vulnerable bodies for the first time and Ashley almost came at the sight of her beautiful lover. Spencer blushed slightly when she saw the hunger in Ashley's eyes and looked down out of habit.

"Hey…you okay?"

Ashley reached out and tucked one finger under Spencer's chin making her look up. Spencer just smiled and nodded.

"Yeah…wow…you are…um…you're beautiful…"

Ashley just kissed her response and laid Spencer gently back against the pillows. Spencer closed her eyes and waited tensely before she felt Ashley move up next to her on the bed.

"Hey…Spence look at me…"

Spencer peeked her eyes open and watched in amazement as Ashley began her decent once again worshiping Spencer's body the whole way down. When she got to her destination point Spencer's gaze was locked on hers and Ashley smiled once more before lowering her head and lightly running her tongue up and down Spencer's clit.

"Ohhhh…."

Spencer arched her back but never took her eyes off Ashley. Ashley repeated the same step again this time adding a finger gently inside of her girlfriend. Spencer's hips bucked at the new sensation and she started grinding her hips in time with Ashley's expert strokes. This was like no other sexual experience Spencer had ever had and she could tell she was already close and they hadn't even done much yet. Ashley let her mouth wander over Spencer's stomach while her fingers made Spencer tremble with want and her eyes never left Spencer's.

"Uhhh…ahhhh….ahhhhh…."

Spencer was moaning loudly now and Ashley couldn't believe how sexy it sounded. She added more pressure while slowing her pace slightly trying to prolong this as much as possible. However when she felt Spencer's hand on her arm insisting more she chuckled slightly and picked up the pace.

"Ahhh….uhhh….Ash…ahhhh…."

Ashley watched as Spencer's face contorted out of pleasure as she let her fingers slide in and out in and out. Ashley really wanted to taste Spencer but she didn't know if Spencer was really ready for that so she settled for an occasional lick here and there. Spencer had one hand in a death grip on the sheets and another on Ashley's shoulders pushing her lower and Ashley got the hint. She took Spencer's clit fully in her mouth and began sucking on it in time with her strokes.

"Ohhhhhhhh….Ash….I'm gonna….ahhhhhhh….."

Ashley could tell how close Spencer was so she picked up the pace on her fingers and added more pressure with her tongue by flattening it out in long hard strokes. Spencer's face was flushed and her body was covered with a light layer of sweat causing her hair to stick to her forehead. Ashley's body shared the same heat and Ashley had never seen Spencer look sexier then she did at that exact moment.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh…."

Spencer came harder than she had in her entire life and for a second she thought she was going to black out. She felt herself come over and over again and she was amazed that this much pleasure could be derived from such a simple act. Ashley continued to pump in and out as she felt Spencer's inner walls contract and it wasn't until she saw Spencer's hand release the sheets that she finally stilled her fingers inside her lover. She waited for Spencer to open her eyes again before withdrawing her fingers causing Spencer to shiver a little. Both girls were covered in sweat and Ashley quickly moved up the bed to make sure Spencer was okay.

"Spence? Baby? Hey…"

"mmhmhmihhgihmghrrrph…"

"Haha…Spence what?"

Spencer held up her hand to Ashley signaling that she needed a moment. Ashley waited patiently for Spencer to regain her ability to speak coherently.

"I said…mmm that was perfect…and I love you…"

"I love you too Spence…you sure you're okay?"

"Yes Ash…perfect…"

Ashley just smiled and kissed Spencer gently. They stayed that way for the rest of the night and when they finally fell asleep both did so with smiles on their faces dreaming about what other excitement the future held in store for them.

CHAPTER 5 My own worst enemy…

Ashley Davies had a problem. A big one. She had been going out with Spencer for almost a whole year now and things were going good. A little too good. Sure they fought like normal couples and their make-up sex was always amazing but lately Ashley had the sinking feeling there was something that she was missing out on. She knew at times she still distanced herself form Spencer…more out of habit than anything…but these episodes were few and far between and she was doing her best to be as good a girlfriend as she could.

It was not an easy task.

Its not that Spencer was a difficult person to be with…in fact Ashley thought she had it really easy compared to what Spencer had to put up with…its just that sometimes Ashley knew that Spencer deserved more and she would always do anything she could to give it to her. No matter what the cost.

It had been about two months since that fateful night when they first made love to each other and both girls were amazed at how much they had learned together. Spencer learned to deal with the physical aspect of the relationship and use this newfound knowledge to help boost her confidence not only in the relationship and Ashley but in herself as well. Spencer was really coming into her own and grasping her sexuality as a good thing rather than a curse that she used to think it was. And Ashley was becoming more aware of other people noticing Spencer's new outlook on life, but she also knew they would stay away because she was there. Spencer also learned that Ashley best defined herself through physical action rather than words. Ashley could be as articulate as anyone about most things…but when it came to her emotions or deepest thoughts…well Ashley barely said two words.

Ashley on the other hand learned how to deal with the emotional side of the relationship and of Spencer. Ashley now understood how to recognize when Spencer was feeling insecure like when a hot girl hit on her at Gray's, and Ashley learned to recognize when she was dealing with the situation by retreating back to sarcastic Ashley rather than then gentle caring Ashley that she really wanted to be for Spencer. It took a lot of yelling and fighting and hurt emotions for her to see that sometimes she really did push back so hard and did her best to keep everyone out that she would even shut out Spencer…and she was not okay with that. One night in particular about a week after they first made love her and Spencer got into a huge fight and Ashley will never forget what Spencer said to her…

"You know sometimes I wish you would just talk to me instead of making jokes or assuming I know what is going on…"

"Why? So you can just throw it back in my face later Spence?"

"No Ashley…because unlike you I actually DO care about what is going on inside of you…I care enough to want to know…but you…you don't give a damn about what is going on inside of me as long as you are the one who gets to be inside…"

That was possibly the roughest night of Ashley's life.

Then there was the "I love you" problem. Spencer didn't really understand why Ashley always got a little weirded out when she said it to her, and she definitely didn't miss the fact that the only time Ashley said it was when one of three things happened. Either she was in trouble and apologizing to Spencer, they were making love or just finished making love, or Spencer said it at a random moment and Ashley automatically said it back. Ashley never said it to her otherwise, and at first Spencer didn't think anything of it since she knew that wasn't really Ashley's thing…but it also kind of hurt that Spencer could almost predict if it were a time when Ashley was going to say it to her or not.

So as you can see…Ashley Davies had a big problem. A four letter word that she had never known was now consuming her life and she didn't know what to do about it.

"Hey Ash…"

Ashley was ripped from her thoughts by Spencer plopping down on the seat next to her at the table. They only had about four weeks left before winter break and she couldn't wait. This whole school thing was really killing her and amazingly she had only managed to convince Spencer to ditch class with her a handful of times. School always got in the way of Ashley's fun.

"Hey Spence…what is all this stuff?"

Spencer had her arms full with different college brochures and application forms and other pieces of paper with writing that Ashley really didn't care about. Spencer on the other hand seemed to be bursting with excitement.

"College fair in the gym…didn't you guys go during first period?"

"Oh that…yeah I was a little late getting to school this morning…"

Spencer rolled her eyes at Ashley and proceeded to spread out the different pamphlets showing Ashley where she wanted to go to school and what programs they had available. It was enough to make anyone's head spin.

"Geez Spence…these are some great schools…where are you going to apply?"

"I haven't really decided yet…my dad wants me to go to USC and major in psych like he did…but I don't know…I want to do something different…like English or Communications or something…"

"Well with your SAT score I'm sure you'll get in wherever you want…"

They had taken the SAT's in November and Spencer had done really well. She scored a 1450 but what she didn't know was that Ashley edged her out by a mere 20 points…Ashley just didn't want Spencer to know she did so well given that she really didn't want to go to college. She knew that if Spencer found out her score that Spencer would be hounding her to at least apply somewhere and if by some miracle she did get in she didn't want to have to make a life altering decision like that. I mean how can you really decide where to spend the next 4 years of your life? Ashley just wanted to take things one day at a time. Not Spencer though.

"Well I don't know…I was looking at some schools back east…or possibly UW…have you ever been to Washington? Ash? Ash?"

"Huh?"

Ashley had just been listening to what Spencer was saying and she had images of Spencer going off to some great school and leaving her in la-la land as she called it. Spencer had so many hopes and dreams and while that was something that Ashley loved about Spencer…but it was also the same thing that made her feel insignificant at times. Like right now.

"Uh yeah. Its great I guess…"

"Hey…you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine…so when is all this stuff due anyway?"

Spencer studied Ashley for any signs of what was going on but when she came up empty she just gave in and kept the conversation going. Another trick she learned when it came to Ashley. Sometimes she just had to let Ashley go and know that Ashley would open up to her in time.

"End of December for UW and it looks like um…same for Cornell and NYU…"

"So you're not even considering staying in California? Ya know UCLA is actually a pretty good school…"

"Well yeah…but its so close to home…I just want to get out there…see what its like in other places ya know?"

"Great. Well good luck with that…"

Ashley gathered her things and got up from the table. Spencer watched her walk away and couldn't help but feel that she just missed something huge here. But she didn't know what it was.

A week and a half went by and Spencer mostly avoided the conversation they had about colleges. It wasn't like they were exactly fighting but Spencer could tell that something was definitely going on with Ashley. Ash had skipped school a couple of times and Spencer was beginning to wonder what exactly was going on. She noticed that Ashley had been drinking again and she wondered if this was because she was upset or because she was sad. Either way Ashley wasn't talking to her and it was beginning to piss her off.

It was Friday night and she showed up at Ashley's to study like they had planned. She went up to Ashley's room and stopped when she saw Ashley sitting on her bed strumming lightly on her guitar and singing softly.

"Spend your life searching or waiting in line…

I know you're holding on to what you can't find…

When the light is fading and its hard to see…

I hope you know you're still a part of me…"

Spencer didn't really know if she should interrupt or not, since it was times like this that Spencer just felt herself overcome with love and admiration for Ashley. Spencer leaned against the doorway with a small smile on her face. She recognized the song as the one that Ashley performed at Gray's when she had her drunken night of stupor with Aiden. She quietly walked into the room and made her presence known by joining Ashley in the chorus.

"So hold on…hold on…

Hold on…hold on to me…"

Ashley opened her eyes at the sound of Spencer's voice.

"Hey…"

"I love that song Ash…"

"Yeah well…its my dad's…"

Ashley turned and put her guitar next to her bed. She turned back around to face Spencer but didn't look her in the eye as she reached for her bookbag. Spencer sat down on the bed and reached for Ashley's hand.

"So where ya been all week?"

"Huh? Oh around I guess. Studying…mid terms right?"

"Ash…"

"What?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. Come on don't we have to study or something?"

Spencer frowned and watched Ashley take out a book. I know…unbelievable right? Ashley opened it and just started reading. Spencer definitely knew something was up and she had a sinking feeling she knew what it was.

"Ash are you mad that I'm applying to out of state colleges?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Look Spence I know you want to go to those schools and I'm not going to stop you…so if you have to go…go…"

"Well you could come with me…"

"And do what? Look we both have different ambitions okay? Yours is higher education and mine is music…which is here in LA…so if you need to leave to follow your dream then you should…I guess I just figured our dreams wouldn't tear us 3000 miles apart…"

Spencer looked at Ashley with a sad face. She knew Ashley was in a vulnerable state right now because opening up and actually admitting something like that was not easy for Ashley.

"Well its not like I got in anywhere yet Ash…and Washington isn't that far…"

"Its far enough Spence…college is a whole new world…and I guess I'm just saying that if you do leave what makes you so sure you're gonna want to come back?"

Ashley looked at Spencer with her guard up. Her shrink would have been so proud right then. She actually told Spencer her concerns…without any jokes or wise cracks…it was weird. Ashley figured this would probably cause a fight between them so she prepared herself for the worst. She was happily mistaken.

"Of course I'm gonna come back Ash…because all the colleges in the world are missing one important thing…you…"

Ashley gave a half hearted smile to girl who was unknowingly breaking her heart little by little each day.

"Well that's what you say now…let me know if you change your mind in a year…"

There she was. Sarcastic Ashley was back. Good old self defense mechanism. Spencer hated this side of Ashley.

"Well we'll see I guess…"

"Yeah…"

The two girls went back to studying and didn't speak much for the next few hours. They made love that night after a long period of silence and both girls could feel the emotion behind the sex tonight. As they came they looked into each others eyes and saw all the fears and doubts and confusion that the past few weeks had brought them. It broke Ashley's heart and planted the seed of doubt in Spencer's.

The last few weeks of school were a blur with mid terms and papers due and both girls were extremely busy finishing everything up. They still spent almost every waking and non-waking hour together but Spencer couldn't help but feel like Ashley was going through the motions with her. She wanted to ask her about it but she didn't want to fight since things had been going on so well. Figuratively speaking of course.

Ashley spent the first two weeks of winter break really trying to figure out exactly what was going on with her and Spencer. She knew she loved Spencer…and she knew that Spencer loved her. But she didn't know if she could handle Spencer so far away for so many years…and she really didn't want to give up her dream of making it in the music industry. But on the other hand she was not about to ask Spencer to stay in California just so she could have her close. Ashley had to prove to both Spencer and herself that she could deal with whatever life threw at them. Even if it meant they couldn't be together. Because no one is worth that much right?

RING RING

"Hello?"

"Hey you…whatcha up to?"

"Nothing…boy toy #4 is over so my mother banished me to my room…what are you doing?"

"I just mailed out my college apps…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…oh shoot…I gotta go…I hear Clay yelling downstairs…but you're coming over for Christmas right?"

"Yeah I'll be there…"

"Okay…see you then.."

Ashley sighed as she hung up. She had also spent the past two weeks trying to figure out what exactly to get Spencer for Christmas. She wanted something that said "I love you" but not in a cheesy Hallmark-y kind of way. It wasn't until that phone call that she had the perfect gift.

KNOCK KNOCK

Spencer opened the door to find Ashley standing there loaded down with gifts. I guess when you have money its easy to make a good impression…although Spencer knew her family liked Ashley enough but still…she was glad Ash made the effort. She pulled her inside and gave her a quick kiss before helping her with the stuff.

"Playing Santa this year?"

"Well my mom always told me gifts are the easiest and way to spread holiday cheer…"

Spencer laughed as she took Ashley's hand and led her into the dining area. Glen and his new girlfriend Stephanie were there along with Clay and Chelsea and even Aiden and Jamie were there. Arthur was busy in the kitchen carving a huge turkey and he smiled warmly at Ashley when she came in. Dinner was great and afterwards they all sat around the living room talking and sharing holiday horror stories. Ashley was unusually quiet and she just soaked up the situation for all the comfort and love it provided. She wasn't used to family stuff like this and she really loved it when she got to be a part of it. This was something she was really going to miss when Spencer was away at college.

"Okay guys…for those of you who don't know it's now Spencer's favorite time of the night…"

Ashley looked at Spencer's face and burst out laughing at the embarrassment written all over it as she listened to Arthur continue.

"As with Carlin family tradition since Spencer was little we get to open one gift each…Spencer could never wait til Christmas morning and so to this day we have to open one gift or I swear she won't let anyone leave or anyone go to sleep."

Everyone laughed at this and Spencer just rolled her eyes at her dad. He could be so embarrassing sometimes. Spencer opened a gift from her dad while Clay and Glen opened one from their mom. Arthur opened the gift from Ashley and Ashley opened the one from Arthur who signed the card, 'to my other beautiful daughter.' She got a little choked up when she read that and she gave him a big hug thanking him for the collection of poetry he had gotten her. Aiden and Jamie opened their gifts from Spencer and soon everyone was laughing and admiring what each person got. Among the madness Spencer grabbed Ashley's hand and pulled her into the kitchen.

"You okay?"

"Here Ash…this is part of your gift…I want you to open it now…"

Spencer was practically bouncing around probably due to the amount of sugar she had consumed by eating so many cookies. Ashley just shook her head. She walked over to her bag and grabbed an envelope for Spencer.

"Okay but you have to open this then…"

The two girls looked down at the gifts in their hands. Ashley was holding a large manila envelope while Spencer's was long and thin. Ashley wanted Spencer to go first so she waited while Spencer ripped the envelope open.

"You got me plane tickets?"

"Not just any plane tickets. Look at the cities…"

"Spokane and New York…I don't get it…"

Ashley rolled her eyes. Sometimes Spencer was a little slow on things.

"I know you have your heart set on going to these schools. So if I can't be there with you for the next four years the least I can do is go with you to check them out. You know…so at least I know how you'll be living for the next few years…"

Spencer had tears in her eyes as she hugged Ashley. She couldn't believe that Ashley was really letting her go and actually being understanding about it. She shook her head.

"Wait open my gift…"

Ashley sighed a little as she pulled out a single piece of paper. Spencer smiled and shook her head.

"It's the only application I sent out…"

Ashley grinned and pulled Spencer in for a big hug and a long passionate kiss. The paper and envelope in her hands dropped to the floor and she couldn't believe Spencer had done this. She only read the first few lines but it didn't matter.

What was on the paper you ask? Well it was a copy of the application Spencer had sent out the previous day. And it was addressed to the Admissions Office at the University of Southern California.

CHAPTER 6 Happy New Year?

"Ugghhhh…ohhhh….Ash…ahhhh…."

Spencer gripped the sheets and threw her head back in pleasure as Ashley continued to push in and out of her lover with as much force as she could muster. Ashley leaned in and let her tongue run along Spencer's neck and shoulder as her hand kept up its furious pace.

"Ahhh….ahhh…Ash…uuhhhhhh…"

Ashley could feel Spencer's walls beginning to tighten as she reached as deep as possible before curling her fingers trying to find that magical spot that would bring her girlfriend as much pleasure as humanly possible.

"AHHHH…"

She found it. Spencer's body shook hard as an orgasm swept through her with lightening speed. Ashley kept her fingers moving and used her palm to apply pressure to Spencer's clit and she could feel Spencer's body contract over and over and over again.

"Ash…can't…ahhhhhh….ohhhh God…Ash…stop…"

Ashley didn't really hear Spencer's plea to slow down since Spencer's voice was pretty much just a gasp of air. Ashley kept up her pace and Spencer bit down hard on Ashley's shoulder to get her message across.

"Ow…what the hell Spence…"

"Sorry…I…ah…"

Spencer's breath was labored and she was having a hard time talking. Ashley got the hint and removed her hand and waited for Spencer to calm down so she could continue. Ashley wrapped her arms around her lover and wiped her sweaty hair away from her face.

"Wow…Ash that was…"

"Incredible?"

Ashley grinned down at the girl in her arms and Spencer laughed at Ashley's self-satisfied smile. Spencer rolled her eyes a bit and ran her hands through her hair.

"Well besides that…it was amazing…"

"Thanks…"

Spencer leaned in and kissed Ashley softly on the lips. Spencer went to deepen the kiss when she felt Ashley pull away a bit.

"Okay I'm going to shower…and I could use some company if you're up for it…"

Ashley winked at Spencer as she climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Spencer wasn't 100 sure her legs would carry her but she followed anyway eager to return the favor that Ashley had just given her. An hour and five orgasms later the two emerged from the bathroom exhausted. They walked back to Ashley's room and Spencer almost fell asleep before she got into bed. Ashley turned off the lights and crawled in next to Spencer wrapping her arms tightly around her girlfriend.

The next morning Spencer was awoken to the sensation of Ashley running her tongue up her inner thigh. Spencer moaned as Ashley licked her way between Spencer's legs.

"Morning baby…sleep well?"

Ashley wiggled her eyebrows at Spencer who was still trying to wake up. Ashley ran her hand up Spencer's thigh and pulled her underwear down giving her full access to what she wanted most. Spencer instinctively spread her legs and soon Ashley was running her tongue and fingers all over Spencer causing the blonde to moan loudly.

"Ugghhhhhh…"

Spencer came quickly and as she did Ashley lapped up every drop of liquid that Spencer's body produced. Spencer shut her legs a little in an attempt to signal to Ashley that her body still hadn't recovered from last nights sexcapades and Ashley laughed as she moved up next to Spencer's face and kissed her girlfriend softly on the nose.

"Are you hungry?"

"Okay I'm going to ignore the joke I could have just made there…"

Ashley rolled her eyes at the blonde and shook her head. A smirk graced her lips as she chuckled softly.

"Why Ms. Carlin…am I rubbing off on you?"

"Why Ms. Davies I do believe so…"

"Sweet…come on…sustenance…"

Ashley dragged Spencer out of bed and down the stairs towards the living room. She plopped Spencer on the couch as she headed off to the kitchen with promises of a gourmet breakfast. Spencer shook her head and watched Ashley walk away wondering what had gotten into her girlfriend all of a sudden. Last night was great and Spencer had a wonderfully amazing time…but something about it was off. It wasn't like her and Ashley had never had marathon sessions before…its just that this one was going on three days now and Spencer was worried that soon she was going to have to start fighting Ashley off with a stick. Last night she had seen a hunger in Ashley's eyes that she never saw before…even when they were torturing each other half to death with the foreplay. She was confused. Sure she was glad her dad let her crash at Ashley's for the week between Christmas and New Years, and she was glad that they had gotten to spend a lot of quality time together…but now she almost wished that Ashley would suggest they go to a party or something…anything to get them out of the house and out of the bedroom.

Spencer flipped on the T.V. but she hardly even heard what was being said on the screen. She kept thinking about Ashley and how this sudden urge had come over her ever since Ashley found out she had applied to USC instead of out of state. 'Maybe that's it…' she thought, maybe Ashley felt guilty that Spencer hadn't tried to go away to school. 'No…she knows I made the decision for myself…right?' Spencer got up and walked into the kitchen and smiled to herself as she watched Ashley at work.

Ashley had a waffle iron on and what looked like a huge Belgian waffle cooking in it and she some cooked bacon and fried eggs in a pan next to the waffles. She was busying herself with cutting up fruit as she hummed softly and swayed her hips back and forth. 'So cute,' thought Spencer as she walked over to Ashley and wrapped her arms around her from behind.

"Need any help?"

"Nope…here try this…"

Ashley fed Spencer a piece of fruit and Spencer licked her lips as she chewed and swallowed the sweet treasure. Ashley grinned and kissed Spencer on the lips.

"Good right? It's grapefruit…from Japan I think…I don't know exactly…but I love it…"

She smiled and fed Spencer another piece as she leaned in and nipped at Spencer's neck playfully. Spencer chewed the fruit and laughed as Ashley squirmed around teasing her neck with her tongue.

"Mmmm…so good…wow Ash you made all this?"

"Mmhhhmmm…"

Ashley just grunted as she kept the assault on Spencer's neck going. Spencer could feel her legs weaken and her blood flow to a certain region of her body. Ashley turned them around and backed Spencer up so that she was practically sitting on the countertop all the while never loosing contact with her neck. She helped Spencer up onto the counter and just when she was about to pull Spencer's boxers down Spencer stopped her.

"Woah wait a second Ash…what about your mom?"

"Vegas…"

Ashley tried again to rid the barrier between her and her prize but once again she was foiled by Spencer.

"Hey hey…slow down…why don't we eat first?"

"I'm trying to…"

Spencer rolled her eyes at Ashley and pushed her away playfully. Ashley groaned and stepped back so that Spencer could hop down. Spencer took Ashley's hand and kissed her fingertips softly while guiding her to the bar top.

"I meant food…sustenance right? How did you learn to do all this anyway?"

"Its called lack of parents and hunger…I had to fend for myself so I developed a few hidden talents…"

"I'll say…"

Both girls grinned at each other as they sat down to breakfast. They talked and laughed like thee two giddy schoolgirls in love that they were and after breakfast they retreated to Ashley's room to watch TV. Once upstairs Ashley was all over Spencer again and Spencer had enough. She wanted some sort of explanation for Ashley's hormonal rage…and she wanted it now.

"Ash…wait…"

"What?"

Ashley looked slightly annoyed and Spencer had to take a big breath before continuing. After all…sex was a touchy subject with most normal people…and with Ashley…well lets just say it was a little more than touchy.

"What Spence?"

"It's just…is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine…why?"

"Well it's just…I dunno…you seem so…"

Ashley raised an eyebrow at Spencer who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Spencer fidgeted with the blanket as she contemplated continuing this line of conversation that looked like it was on a one-way street to a major fight. She treaded lightly.

"I don't know…I mean…don't get me wrong…I like this side of you…its just that you seem a little…I don't know…eager…"

Bad move. Ashley glared at Spencer and took a deep breath as she tried to articulate how pissed off she was. Sometimes Ashley just didn't understand Spencer…it was like Spencer would run hot and cold and most of the time it was just downright confusing.

"Well I'm sorry I find you so attractive. What is your problem anyways Spencer? I thought you wanted to be here…"

Okay Spencer knew she went too far just from the fact that Ashley called her Spencer instead of Spence. It was one of those little things that couples know about each other and Spencer knew Ashley only used her full name when things were tense between them. Spencer felt like she was backed into a corner and she didn't know what to do. On one hand she could fight…or on the other she could try and reason with Ashley…she went with hand number two.

"I DO wan to be here Ash…I want to be here with you…"

"Then what is the problem?"

Spencer didn't really know how to answer that. After all…how do you tell your girlfriend that the problem is you feel like her sex toy? Spencer racked her brain for some sort of coherent thought, but unfortunately, Ashley beat her to it.

"What Spencer is this too much for you? Look I'm sorry okay…it's been a rough few weeks and I thought since we finally got some alone time we could…"

"But Ash that's ALL we've done in like 3 days…"

"Fine…what do YOU want to do?"

Ashley sat back with an irritated look on her face and Spencer couldn't really tell how angry Ashley was. Spencer tried her best at damage control.

"Ash I do want to do…that…"

"If you can do it you can say it Spence…"

"Okay I do want to make love to you Ash…and these past few days have been great…but I guess I wasn't prepared for this side of you…"

"What the nymphomaniac side? Is this up there with my drug and alcohol abusing side? What Spencer? How many sides do you see? Because you know what? When I look at you I just see one side. All of you. Your good, your bad…your faults and your strengths. All at once. I can't believe you…"

Ashley got up and walked towards the door but Spencer jumped up and beat her to it. She cut Ashley off and grabbed her shoulders making Ashley look at her. Ashley didn't say anything and before Spencer could say a word Ashley pushed her up against the door and kissed her hard. Spencer grunted at the force of Ashley's lips on her neck and how hard Ashley was holding her against the door. Ashley didn't waste any time as she shoved two fingers into Spencer. Hard.

"Owww…ahhhhhhh…."

Spencer moaned in both pain and pleasure as Ashley pounded into her. Spencer knew she really wasn't that wet yet thus making this a little more sore than normal. Ashley bit Spencer's shoulder leaving her mark right above Spencer's collarbone as Spencer felt her body giving in to Ashley's ministrations.

"Uhhhhh…"

Spencer felt her muscles clench as Ashley's fingers pushed in and out and soon Spencer's body was shaking with exhaustion. Ashley slid her hand out as she helped Spencer over to the bed. She tucked Spencer in and climbed in next to her not saying anything as she listened to the sounds of Spencer breathing softly.

'What the hell just happened?' thought Spencer as she felt Ashley wrap her arms around her tightly. Her body was still processing the sex along with the fight they had and truthfully she was ready to just sleep given her mentally exhausted state. Ashley on the other hand was kicking herself for the way she just treated Spencer. Ashley propped herself up on an elbow and looked at Spencer.

"I'm sorry…"

"What the hell was that Ash?"

Ashley sighed and ran one hand through her unruly curls. She sat up and looked down at Spencer with a sad look on her face.

"Look there's something you should know about me. I hate the holidays. I hate the fake cheeriness…the way people pretend like it was such a great year and hope for an even better next one…but really…I hate it because the holidays mean a new year is coming. Another 365 days of crap…of countless fights with my mom…never knowing if she even cares…not knowing if I'm going to see her at all…"

She paused and sighed again before looking up at the ceiling and taking another deep breath before continuing.

"And then there's my dad. A new year means another year when I'll probably have five real conversations with him...a ridiculously extravagant birthday present three months late…and worst of all…I'll spend a good portion of next year wondering if this is the year he is going to make the effort…call me up, come visit, take an interest ya know? I hate the holidays Spence…its just full of false hopes."

"I'm sorry Ash…that really sucks…how come you didn't tell me before?"

"Because before I could just medicate. You know. Drink til the pain stops and there's nothing left. I guess I thought I could handle it with you here. But I guess I just chose to medicate in another way…"

Spencer looked at Ashley in understanding. Ashley looked at Spencer with apologetic eyes.

"I really am sorry Spence…sometimes I just do rather than say…all that money my mom wasted on shrinks and I still can't just verbalize…"

Spencer sat up and pulled Ashley into her arms. She kissed Ashley's forehead and spoke softly into her ear.

"Ashley don't ever feel like you can't talk to me. And sometimes I do need you to tell me what is going on…because when you do rather than say…it feels like your shutting me out…and that really sucks…"

Ashley couldn't help but smile at Spencer's last statement. Spencer laughed a little at what she said and pulled back to look at Ashley.

"So agreed? No more doing before saying?"

"Everything?"

"Well…"

Ashley laughed and nodded her head in understanding. Spencer batted her eyelashes at Ashley who laughed and attacked Spencer's ribs with her fingertips. The two girls rolled around laughing and tickling each other and soon they were doing rather than saying exactly what they wanted because after all…sometimes talking is just plain overrated.