It's Not Need Any More Now It's Want

by 6' j.s.m '9

It's the end of a case, and Jane and Lisbon are having dinner in Lisbon's apartment. All of a sudden, Jane tells Lisbon that he doesn't need her any more... at least, not in the way that he did! What does he mean by that?

Title:- It's Not Need Any More... Now It's Want

Summary:- It's the end of a case, and Jane and Lisbon are having dinner in Lisbon's apartment. All of a sudden, Jane tells Lisbon that he doesn't need her any more... at least, not in the way that he did! What does he mean by that?

Thanks To:- CSI-4077, Ligya Ford-Northam, mwalter1, A Rainbow In Grey Scale, Divinia Serit, huddy-obsessed, shopping-luva91, Americanchick, AlternativeRocker, Sexycindi, kathiann, JocelynMcC, sweetandsombre, Jisbonygoodness36, JisbonFan, Hakkai-Goyjo-Goka-Sanzo, and ewriter for reviewing my last fanfic. If you want thanks, it's very simple; just send me a review, and you will receive my thanks! Every time you click that button, you're giving me another reason to carry on writing! So, thank you once again! ;-P

Disclaimer:- Once again, I do not own the Mentalist, or any part of it. That's a really depressing thought, actually... Disclaimers always make me sad :-( !

A/N:- Again, this fanfic does not carry on from my last three; this is a stand-alone... unless any of you want there to be a sequel. If you do, all you have to do is read, decide... and then REVIEW!

It's Not Need Any More... Now It's Want

Patrick Jane placed his glass of wine down, and glanced at Lisbon. His smile had disappeared from his lips; leaving the most serious expression that she had ever seen on Jane's face. His hand cautiously reached out and covered hers; she tried to sustain a shiver that ran throughout her whole body at his touch. He still felt it though. That made what he was about to say even harder; she would understand... in time. At that moment, time was the only thing he could rely on.

That, and the hope that she had put her gun away, before they had sat down to eat. They had just finished one of the biggest cases that they had yet to come across. They had all said things that they hadn't meant... and Patrick Jane hadn't been one of those; he had said nothing but the truth throughout the whole of the investigation.

He still couldn't get the look of Lisbon's face out of his head; it wouldn't leave. That was the point when he had told her the truth... or at least, what he had thought the truth to be. It wasn't until later that he learned it was only half of it. And she needed to know the rest.

"Lisbon... what I said before. About you needing me as much as I need you?" He hesitated to continue. She gave a slight nod; both as an answer to his question, and permission for him to carry on. She knew he had to say what was on his mind. He was Patrick Jane.

"Well, the truth is... is that that wasn't the truth. At least, not the whole truth." He looked into her eyes as he spoke his next sentence. The sentence that held a very likely chance of leading to his name being carved into stone... and Lisbon being thrown in a jail cell. (Though, she would probably work very hard at making it look like suicide!) He took a deep breath. Time to take the plunge, his mind said. No time like the present.

"I don't need you any more Lisbon..."

* * *

It took some time for her to register what he had said; when it finally penetrated into her brain, she knew that he was right. She did need him; she needed him more than she could ever tell him... and yet, she couldn't. Not after what he had just said. He finally seemed happy; she couldn't do that to him. She couldn't jeopardize the only chance of happiness that he would probably ever have. After that, what could she do?

At times like this, she always thought back to her mother. She seemed to have all the answers. When she had heard or seen anything that threatened to turn her world upside-down, she just shrugged it off. Well, she shrugged it off, and then went to the cupboard for her cleaning supplies. For the few days after that, the entire house smelled of bleach. Whenever something threatened her, or her family for that matter, her mother resorted to rigourous cleaning.

And that was exactly what she was going to do. Starting with the plates that were in front of her.

She stood up slowly, grabbed the plates, and walked out to the kitchen. Jane was left there, not knowing what to do. She seemed to be taking it well. Too well. Then again, how could anyone take what he had just said, well? She was hiding something. He had to do something, anything to stop her from hiding her feelings. He didn't care if she came out running at him with a kitchen knife in her hand. Just so long as she let everything out.

While Jane contemplated what he was going to do, and how he was going to reconcile their relationship (if that was what you could call it), Lisbon had filled the sink with just-below-boiling water, and practically emptied a whole bottle of washing-up liquid into it. The empty bottle lay next to the dirty plates. She fought to hold back tears as she began to wash up.

When Jane walked in, she didn't look at him straight away; instead taking a moment to compose herself. He took this time to speak. "Lisbon? Lisbon?" He didn't ask her whether she was okay; that was a stupid question. Yet, it was something that everyone said... just like what he said afterwards. "Lisbon, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you; I didn't want to hurt you." The extra emphasis on the word 'want' made her turn around. He could see that she was holding back tears; her eyes were shining brightly, and her nose was slightly red. Despite the situation, he couldn't deny that she looked beautiful. "I need you to... I want you to forgive me. Is there any chance of that happening?"

She could see that he felt sorry, and that he was truly sorry; that feeling was clearly evident in his eyes. "What can I do so that you can forgive me, Lisbon? I'll do anything!" The look in his eyes was growing desperate. Though she was still angry with him, she decided to take advantage of his offer.

"Anything?" He nodded in reply, his eyes growing hopeful. She blinked back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes, and gave him a small smile, and motioned over her shoulder towards the sink. "Well, I could use some help with the washing up." Her smile grew as she saw one appear on Jane's face, even though she knew better than to smile. Despite the situation, she couldn't deny that he never looked as handsome as he did now. She was still mad at him though; he'd have to work hard in order to earn her forgiveness.

"More than happy to oblige. Where do you want me?" She was a bit taken aback by that question, but was sure that he meant nothing by it. Well, most of her was sure that he meant nothing by it. Jane was a little confused himself, he had to admit. He didn't know whether he had meant something when he said that or not. He mentally shrugged it off; they were only words; they wouldn't change anything, would they? It was better to just forget about them, and carry on as normal, they both thought.

Her kitchen was small, and there wasn't nearly enough space for both of them to stand side-by-side at the sink. So, they compensated; Jane stood behind Lisbon, and reached around her in order to get to the sink. Though neither voiced it, both were more than happy in their current position, and both were inwardly smiling.

What should have been nothing more than a shared chore, ended up as one of the closest moments that they had shared with each other... and they had had some pretty close moments! Every few seconds, their hands would brush against each other; they both shivered at the slightest connection of their skin. Though neither of them spoke, they still seemed to be communicating with each other. Jane moved whenever Lisbon needed him to; and vice versa. It was a strange sight, and an even stranger feeling. They both looked and felt comfortable with each other.

Neither of them had planned what was happening... but neither of them could deny that they liked where it was going. The only sound that could be heard, was the sound of their breathing.

After a few minutes, they had finished. The soapy plates and cutlery had completed their journey. Now, all that was left was for the both of them to step away from the sink, and dry their hands off.

That was the thing, though. Both of them knew that they should move from the sink. But neither of them wanted to. Lisbon couldn't move until Jane moved, and it didn't look as though that was going to happen very soon. So, they both stood there.

That was the point when Jane decided that it was now or never; and that he had meant something, when he had asked Lisbon 'Where do you want me?'. He placed the sponge he was holding onto the edge of the sink, and ran his hands down to where Lisbon's were. He grazed his nails along the top of her hands, before grasping her wrists softly, and slowly lifted them back into the still-warm soapy water. Lisbon was confused, but she didn't ask questions. She had learned that Jane would always make his actions clear, regardless of whether people asked him to explain them or not.

Well, it was that as well as the fact that she was enjoying being in such close proximity to Patrick Jane.

When their hands were fully submerged in the water, Jane took a deep breath before continuing. He moved closer towards Lisbon, so that she was almost trapped between him and the kitchen counter. (Not that Lisbon minded in the slightest!) He started to gently rub her hands under the water; occasionally, he would graze his nails along her palms, eliciting a small moan from Lisbon's lips. He leaned in towards her, brushing her ear with his warm breath. "Am I forgiven?"

Lisbon took a breath, before answering. "Let me think about it." She leaned back into Jane's chest, resting the back of her head on his right shoulder, and closing her eyes, the smile reappearing on her face. "Yes, Jane. You're forgiven." He smiled at her acceptance, and decided to show his appreciation, instead of speaking it out loud. He never was any good with words.

The way she was resting on his shoulder, gave him complete access to the side of her neck. He leaned in again, and gave her a small kiss (though it was more of a brush of his lips) at the point where her neck met her shoulder. The shiver that made its way throughout her body at his touch, made him smile even more.

"Jane? What are you doing?" She turned her face towards him, and tried to keep her voice level, tried to make it sound firm... but the feel of his lips on her skin had rendered her almost completely useless. It wasn't that she wasn't enjoying it; quite the opposite, actually! Normally, she would just leave Jane to do whatever he wanted; but this time, that wasn't an option. That would just lead to more questions.

He moved up to whisper, letting his warm breath caress her ear again. "Oh, you know... just showing my appreciation at you accepting my apology, and forgiving me. That's all." She could hear the smile in his voice. Maybe I should forgive him more often, Lisbon thought to herself. Then, his voice became serious. "I'm sorry about what I said before." Her body stiffened slightly, at the subject. "I just... I wanted you to know the truth. It seems as if you have to beat it out of me every day at work. I just... wanted to make it easier for you."

"Well, thank you for being honest with me... and, for telling me the truth." She moved her hands, that were still in the water, out of his grasp and placed them over his. As she began to give him the same treatment that he had given her, she carried on. "And about what you said before. About me needing you as much as you need me... well, needed me?" He nodded for her to continue. "Well, it was true. I do need you, Jane... and I'm not afraid to admit it."

All he could muster at that point was a low groan, as he felt her nails press down into his skin. He could feel himself beginning to lose control; and that couldn't happen. Not yet. They had to keep talking; they had to carry on, so that she would know why he had said what he had said... and if she carried on with what she was doing, then they weren't going to get that far.

"Well, so long as we're still admitting things to each other, and telling the truth... I've got something else I want to say." He stilled her hands at that point, clutching them firmly in his. Both of them were unhappy at the loss of the feelings that Lisbon's fingers were creating, but he continued nonetheless. "I wasn't completely honest with you before. It was partly because I was scared of what you would say... and partly because you didn't let me finish!" He didn't wait for her to laugh; he knew she wouldn't. "What I said before, about not needing you? What I was going to say, was: 'I don't need you any more Lisbon... at least, not in the way I did'."

He brought their hands out of the water, and reached for a tea-towel. As they dried their hands, Lisbon couldn't resist asking him. "'At least, not in the way I did'? What's that supposed to mean?" She didn't have to wait long for her answer.

"Well, it's like this. When I first met you, I needed you. I mean, you were the only one that could see me... for what I was really like. You were the only one that could see through the charade, the only one that could see through my mask. Of course I needed you; you were the only one that had the patience, and the capability to understand me." He gently placed his hands on her hips, and his fingers began to travel in circles at where her trousers met her hips.

Though her body was shaking from what he was doing, as well as what he was saying, she still managed to say "What's changed?"

"I have, Lisbon. I think I'm finally starting to heal. And it's all thanks to you." He stared into her eyes as he said the next part. Green on green. "So, I don't need you for that purpose. Not any more. Now I just want you..." He trailed off, leaving her and her imagination to figure out what he meant.

"You just want me... to what? To forgive you? It can't be that; I've done that already... unless you don't believe me." She knew that last part wasn't true. Of course he believed her; he had shown her how much he believed her acceptance of his apology! Then what does he mean?

He could see that she was struggling. Enough's enough; I have to tell her. "Let me help you a little bit, okay? The need that I held for you has gone; it's never coming back... unless I have a nervous breakdown. But it left something in its place."

"And what would that be?" She gasped as he pulled her back into his chest, trapping her with his arms, which were loosely placed around the front of her waist.

He whispered into her ear. "Well, I don't know the technical name for it. I just know it as want... which is the reason that I said 'I want you'." He waited for his words to sink in. He knew they had, when she turned 180 degrees in his arms, so that she was now facing him.

She placed her hands on his shoulders, before sliding them around to link at the nape of his neck, where they began to play with the soft curls that grew there. "I'm sorry; I don't think I heard you correctly. Could you say that again?"

Ever happy to oblige, Jane leaned closer, so that their faces were now just a couple of inches apart. "I... want... you..." He emphasized each word with a kiss. The first one was on her forehead; the second was on her cheek; and the third was on her lips. They both gasped when their lips met. Lisbon's arms automatically tightened around his neck, bringing him closer to her so that their chests were now pressed flush agaisnt each other. They marvelled at how well their bodies fit together.

She couldn't deny that she hadn't thought about what it would be like to kiss Patrick Jane. She defied any woman that had met him, and said otherwise. She contemplated how it would feel: soft and gentle; firm and passionate. The kiss that they were sharing now, was unlike anything she had ever felt before; nor would she ever feel it again.

His lips pushed agaisnt hers gently, yet she felt an underlying passion that made her weak at the knees. Indeed, if she hadn't been up against the counter, or hanging onto his neck, Lisbon knew that she have fallen to the floor in a heap. His hands were around her hips again, holding her firmly against him... and letting her feel, for lack of the technical name, his want. She smiled at what she had created.

After what seemed like hours (though it could only have been mere minutes), they broke apart, somewhat reluctantly. If they didn't need to breathe, both of them knew that they would have carried on. Jane leaned his forehead against hers, breathing heavily, just like hers.

Lisbon's brain was only able to make up one coherent word. "Wow."

Jane smiled at her obvious pleasure at what had just taken place between them. "That's one way of putting it." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. After a minute of silence, he spoke again. "So... uh, what happens now?" He honestly hadn't thought this far ahead; it wasn't a strange thing for him. He hardly ever thought ahead of the moment he was in; still, he felt like he should have for this moment. I haven't done this for a while. That was his only excuse... a pretty stupid excuse, if he had to be perfectly honest with himself!

Lisbon thought for a moment; just a moment. She knew what Jane wanted... and found that she wanted the same thing. There wasn't really much to think about after that. Slowly, she dragged her hands away from the nape of his neck to his shoulders. Following them, she continued down his arms to where his hands were resting. She moved away from his grip, walking backwards and leading him by the hands, making him follow her. Before his brain registered what was happening, Jane found himself in another room.

Lisbon's room.

His heart rate increased when he realized where he was. It started beating erratically when Lisbon dropped his hands, walked behind him, and he heard the door close behind them. When she picked up his hands again, and led him to the bed, pushing slightly on his shoulders to make him sit, he thought it would pound out of his chest. Though it was nothing compared to what he felt when he heard what Lisbon said.

She walked up so that she was standing right in front of him, looked into his eyes, and gave him a small smile. "'Where do you want me?'" She was quoting him, quoting the last thing he had said before this had all started. At that moment, he thought that it was the sexiest thing that he had ever heard spoken from her lips. He could only look up at her; the magic of words seemed to have escaped him at that point.

It seemed that Lisbon didn't need to hear his words, in order to know exactly 'where he wanted her'. She moved to the bed so that she was straddling him, her legs either side of his. She moved her hands to his face, cupping each cheek in her palms. His hands mirrored hers; they could feel the passion building between them, increasing as each moment passed.

Their lips met again, just as soft and gentle as before; of course there was a passion beneath it all, but neither of them wanted to go there yet. They much preferred the slow pace they were using at the moment. Lisbon opened her mouth, so that she could brush her tongue against Jane's. Next to the feel of Jane's touch and his lips, it was one of the most wonderful feeling she had ever had the pleasure to feel.

At some point, they found themselves lying on the bed, Jane above Lisbon. Neither of them knew how they got there, but neither did they want to revert back to their original position. Jane moved back from her far enough so that he could see the whole of her face... which was slightly flushed. He looked into her eyes, asking her a silent question. Are you sure?

Lisbon answered back the same way. Yes. Neither of them wanted to ruin the moment that they were in by talking. To make her point clearer, Lisbon grasped the hand that was still on his cheek, and dragged it down to the top of her shirt. Jane didn't need much more than that. She had just (silently) offered him her whole self on a silver platter. As he bent down to take her lips once more, she leaned over to his ear, and whispered the last words that she would speak that night. This time, it was Jane who could feel warm breath caressing his ear.

"'Well I'd like to see our roles reversed; to watch you hang on every word; I'd like to see you have your way'." She moved round so that she was looking into his eyes. Once again, green on green. "'Sink into me'."

Jane, smiling, spoke his own last words. "More than happy to oblige."

* * *

It was the next day; and it was going slowly. So far, they hadn't had a case. And whenever that happened, they had to find something to occupy themselves. For Lisbon, it was reviewing old case files, and finishing her reports; for Jane, it was relaxing on his couch, and finding various ways of being a pain in the ass; for Cho, it was catching up on his reading; for Van Pelt, it was worrying about what she was going to do about what was happening between her and Rigsby; and for Rigsby, it was... food?!

"I'm going to get some lunch. Anybody want anything?" He looked to the rest of the agents (and Jane) for their answers.

"Nothing for me, thanks." Jane was the first to answer, before taking a gulp of his tea; Van Pelt agreed with him a moment afterward.

"I'll have a foot-long, as long as you're buying." Cho didn't lift his eyes from the book he was reading.

"What about you, boss?" Rigsby looked over to Lisbon, who gave a small smile before answering.

"No, no foot-long for me, thanks." She glanced slightly at Jane, catching his eye (which no one else noticed). "I had one earlier this morning."

Whatever Rigsby said next, was drowned out by Jane spitting out and choking on his tea. He looked over at Lisbon, earning a small wink from her.

You're going to pay for that, the look on his face told her.

More than happy to oblige, she answered back, before walking back to her office.

A/N:- So, what did you think? Please review; I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Oh, and words that Lisbon uses to make Jane... 'you know'... are lyrics from the song 'Sink Into Me' by 'Taking Back Sunday'. I was listening to it on repeat, while I was writing, and the lyrics wouldn't leave my head, unless I used them in this.

I hope you enjoyed it!