PRIM AND PROPER
Desperate to find a way to kill Cain, Jizabel decides to dress Cassian as a girl and send him to befriend Mary. Vehemently against it, Cassian reluctantly finds himself living in the Hargreaves Estate as Mary's new girlfriend. But as Cassian searches for a way to kill Cain, he also finds himself…drawn to the little girl…
Another Godchild crack-fic or crack-pairing…whatever you want to call this. So if there are any warnings, it's this: OOC
Cassian x Mary Weather
Dedicated to Single's-Awareness Day! XD
Chapter 1
"No."
"Cassian, I'm sure it'll work. Besides, you can easily pull it off."
"No."
"Cassian, I thought we had a deal. You work for me; I get you an adult's body."
Damn. "There's just one problem with this idea of yours, Doctor," Cassian said darkly. "Even if I could pull of looking like a girl, there's not a chance in hell I could actually do it."
"That's fine. I'll teach you."
"WHAT?!"
"I used to dress in drag all the time," the Mad Doctor said quite seriously. Most of Delilah thought Jizabel Disraeli was called the Mad Doctor because he was psychotic. There was that, but Cassian knew the true extent of the Doctor's madness.
It wasn't always because he was psycho.
The discussion they were having now was proof of it.
Actually, Cassian thought as he stared back at the silver-haired man, he can be quite sane when it suits him…but now IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES!!
"And so will White Owl. He's a pretty good actor and I know for a fact he's dressed in drag before."
Cassian shuddered at the thought of seeing White Owl in a black dress and wig, wearing all too heavy makeup to hide the fact that he's a man.
Granted, actors always wear heavy makeup…
"And I'm sure Ida could help to."
"Ida?!" Cassian doubted it. Ida, the tomboy gypsy, couldn't possibly help Cassian become a "well bred, ten-year-old girl."
"Yes," Jizabel said, leaning against the wall, his face strait. "Ida. What? Would you rather I ask Justice?"
Cassian winced. "No. Okay, Ida…Definitely Ida over Justice any time."
"I thought so."
"You're convinced that I could really pull this off, aren't you?" Cassian asked. If Jizabel answered "Yes," then Cassian's suspicions that he was entirely off his rocker would be proved right.
Jizabel nodded.
I've been with him all this time and already I'm finding out he's barking mad?! Cassian asked himself. Cassian sighed, resigning himself to his fate.
"Good!" Jizabel said, opening a chest. "First, we need to find a dress."
"Can't we wait till the end for that part?" Cassian asked.
Jizabel ignored him and pulled out dresses colored sky blue, dark blue, bright yellow, and pink, laying them down on the operating table.
"Put the pink and yellow dresses back," Cassian growled.
Jizabel shook his head. "Every drag queen has worn pink at least once or twice in their life, Cassian. And every girl has at least one pink dress to wear. You're wearing it."
Cassian slumped into a seat, holding his head in his hands. This is not going to go well…
"Stay here. I'm gonna get Ida and White Owl."
"Why?"
"I have a feeling you're not going to stay quiet and put a dress on. Besides, I doubt you even know how."
Cassian admitted that this was true. Besides, he wasn't so stubborn that he would need three people to force a dress on him.
Jizabel jogged out the room to look for Ida and White Owl. Cassian looked at the dresses. Each of them had flowing skirts puffy sleeves. He picked up the dark blue dress.
The sleeves were longer and had white frills. Cassian wondered why Jizabel had these in his possession…
The door opened again. White Owl and Ida came in with Jizabel. Both were grinning and Jizabel was smirking at him.
Cassian dropped the dress and backed away. "What's with those smiles?"
The three grinned wider and approached him.
"Stay back!" Cassian shouted, pulling out a dagger. "I'm warning you."
"Cassian," Ida said, frighteningly sweet, "stay still."
They jumped. Cassian screamed and all over Delilah, everyone wondered what horrors were being caused this time. Alexis blinked as he walked past Jizabel's office.
He chuckled and shook his head. "That boy," he said and continued on his way without a thought that it was not a scream caused by physical pain.
Ida, White Owl, and Jizabel stepped aside and stared at Cassian.
White Owl blushed. Ida chuued. Jizabel nodded approvingly.
Cassian scowled.
"Cassian! You're so cute!" White Owl gushed.
They had fitted the dark blue dress on him. And white leggings, black shoes and a wig, held onto his head with a matching ribbon. They had even put gloves on his hands.
Jizabel looked through the chest again and pulled out a white parasol, opened it and showed Cassian how to hold it.
"Okay! Now we know Cassian can pull off at least looking like a girl," Ida said. She turned to Cassian. "Cassian, there are several looks that girls pull off really well. First, reserved." She held up one finger. "To look reserved, a girl bows her head and daintily coughs into a light fist. Like this."
Ida curled her hand softly into a fist and bowed her hands. She softened her eyes and coughed lightly as though merely clearing her throat.
"Usually, the reserved look is better for older girls, so you probably don't want to use it so often unless something that a girl would be embarrassed about happens and doesn't want to show she's embarrassed."
White Owl and Jizabel clapped. "I didn't know Ida would pull something so feminine off," Jizabel whispered.
"You'd be amazed," White Owl said.
"Secondly," Ida said, holding up a number two, "The shy look. It's similar to the reserved look, except you blush and hold her fist in front of your mouth, the back of your hand faces away from your mouth. Like this."
Ida displayed the look, her brow slightly furrowed. White Owl and Jizabel blushed. Even Cassian admitted it was adorable seeing Ida actually acting feminine.
Despite her scarred body, the rest of her was very beautiful. Cassian could see that if Ida had not been scarred or a tomboy, she'd probably be very popular with men.
"Third," Ida held up three fingers, "The mischievous look. You put your right pointer finger on your bottom lip and just barely smirk." She did so.
"Kawaii!" Jizabel said.
"Now, if you want to try looking older," Ida said, holding up four fingers. "A sexy look can do wonders. A winsome smile then and there can make a man turn to putty. Also a smirk and leaning forward…toward them…actually, that works better if you have a chest to show off…But if a ten year old wants to try to look sexy, a cuter look is good. For example. White Owl, Jizabel, stand beside Cassian if you would."
Jizabel and White Owl moved to either side of Cassian. Jizabel leaned against the wall and White Owl sat on the table. Ida turned her back to them.
"Observe the feet," she said, they looked down. She was balancing her wait on the balls of her feet, her heels just barely off the floor. "Keep your back strait and your shoulders square. Then turn." She turned and smiled, tilting her head to the right.
The three men blushed.
"Geez, Ida! What the hell are you?! A tomboy or a seductress in disguise?!" White Owl snapped, looking away.
Ida glowered. "You don't have to put it that way."
"Sorry, but I'm pretty sure you just pretend to be a tomboy to keep us from chasing you."
Ida grabbed one of Cassian's knives and threw it at White Owl, who barely dodged it.
"I believe they call a girl like Ida a Femme Fatal," Jizabel said, "Cute, sexy, and, yet, downright dangerous."
"That's a good way to describe her," Cassian said.
Ida shook her head. "You men sicken me," she growled. "Okay. Anyway, Cassian, try it."
"Now?!"
"Yes. You're going to need to practice. We'll help you. That's why we're here," she turned to White Owl and Jizabel, "Right?" she growled.
"Oh yeah," White Owl added. "It's not like we're gonna laugh or anything."
Ida rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Go on, Cassian. It's just like acting. No one's going to laugh."
Cassian doubted this. He stood and faced them. Sighing, he tried to smile. I feel ridiculous, Cassian thought.
"Cassian, you're too tense," Jizabel snapped. "Relax your shoulders and face muscles."
This is going to be a long day…my head itches!