AN: This idea was inspired by the movie Gladiator. I'm sorry if there are
inaccuracies in the story regarding places and customs during the Roman
era, but I tried my best researching, so if you find any mistakes please
don't hesitate to tell me. This is a WK/SM AU fic, the WK guys will appear
near the end of this chapter. If you have any questions, I can be found at
Pokahydee-chan's forum, it's a great place where many sailormoon crossover
writers are gathered. The link is posted on my author's page if anyone is
interested.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything except for Hadrianus.
Prologue
Different lives had different values. This was what she was taught ever since she was born. No man and woman were treated the same. Just like no gods and goddess were the same. The life of a politician was worth more than the life of a criminal. The life of a daughter was cheaper than the life of a son. The life of a slave was even beneath that of a woman. That was her life, even at home. To her parents, she was no better than the cattle on their farm. Their world revolved around her older brother. He was the pride of the family even though she was the one who did all the work around the house... even the work that was meant for him. But they never knew, no one saw her around the house, she was just like a quiet invisible spirit that didn't exist in the house. Usagi was good for nothing.
Everyday, as she watered the farm she would see her father drag Hadrianus towards the schoolhouse. Life was not fair. She would willingly trade with Hadrianus any day, it would be a dream come true to be able to see so many kids of her own age hearing and learning new and incredible things. It was impossible for her to understand why her older brother did not feel the same way. But alas, it was impossible for her, someone had to take care of the farm and after the village school, they would have to sell half the animals on the farm to send Hadrianus to the school in Rome, where her parents had high hopes in him to become a senator.
Besides which, her father had already hinted that if they still didn't have enough money they wouldn't hesitate in using her miserly dowry to make up for what they needed. Just another sign of how little power she had. Girls were born to be married; they were just a burden on their father, then their husband, then their son. Her dowry was the only thing that her parents gave her, something to take to her future husband when she got married. Yet if they took that away from her, no one would want a girl with no wealth, no matter how fascinating she might look with her blonde hair that stood out from her family like a daffodil on earth.
"Usagi! Hurry up with the water!"
The young girl sighed and picked up the two heavy pails of water she was carrying from the well into the house. Her brother was already late for school, but it didn't seem to trouble him. She was the only one who knew his secret. Half of the time Hadrianus didn't even show up to school, choosing to fool around with his followers. He was big for his age and all the boys idolized idiots who had brute force. She tried to tell her parents about how her older brother was doing, but they never believed her. That night when she was trying to sleep on her stomach because the beating they gave her for 'lying about her older brother', Hadrianus came to see her. It was after that conversation that she started to question the fate that the gods gave her.
"I'm coming Mama," she shook her head and continued to the little house, wincing unconsciously at the memory. She still carried the scars on her back, but it was more of what Hadrianus said that hurt her more. It didn't make sense why Hadrianus would get all the attention just by messing up while no matter how much she tried no one would ever care for her like they cared for him. She didn't ask for much, just to be recognized that was all... by her parents. She could prove to them that she was better, but what would that accomplish? Nothing, Rome was a republic, but even though women were recognized as free citizens they were just the unheard shadow behind their husbands. Only the men deserved to wear the snowy white togas that declared them to be a citizen with voting rights in their great empire, the most advanced and civilized city on Earth. Yet to a mere child like her, it meant nothing.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see her father coming back to the house after he walked her brother to school. Usagi quickly got into the house before she could be seen. Last time she was caught staring, her father slapped her for slacking off. He was the worst out of all of them. It would've been better if she was born a boy. But Juno was not kind to her mother. From the day she came to this world she was cursed by this family of strangers.
Lifting the pail of cold water high, she carefully poured the water into the barrel that held the water for cooking. It was one of her chores to fill up the barrel every morning for food and later for bathing. At first, it was as hard as Hercule's tasks for a little child who had barely began to walk, but slowly even though her undeveloped muscles screamed under the pressure, the tasks became easier. The only consolations she had were the books she stole from Hadrianus, hidden under her bed. He would never notice since she could count the times he used those grammar books on the fingers of one hand. But it was beyond difficult to learn how to read and she had to take care that she wouldn't be caught by her father. It took her two months just to learn the alphabet, standing in the cold outside of the schoolhouse after her morning chores, eavesdropping on the teacher scolding the students inside. That was a year ago when she was nine.
It frustrated her beyond reason when she heard her brother being praised for his halted reading of the Virgril when she could recite the whole story just from memory. Sometimes she had the urge to just scream out to all of them to look at her.
Rude knockings on the door of the kitchen made Usagi spill the water she was pouring. Cursing silently under her breath, the blond quickly cleaned the water as best as she could from the clay floor but only succeeded in making a mud puddle instead. She winced as if she could already feel the blow that her father would no doubt deliver. But before that could happen the knock came again.
Even before she fully lifted the bolt from the rotting wooden door, she was knocked off her feet as the door was thrown open by someone way stronger than her.
"In the name of the Emperor we are here to arrest Hadrianus Marcellus for charges of murder!"
She looked up fearfully at the heavy men dressed in the customary metal armor. The leader was holding a scroll made from heavy papyrus parchment from the land of Egypt. What had her brother gotten himself into this time? A fear gripped her insides and twisted until she could hardly breath.
"You girl!" the leader said grabbing Usagi by the front of her worn cotton dress and roughly set her up on her feet. "Go get the man of this house and tell him that we are here to arrest his son for killing the daughter of a fellow citizen."
The blonde girl couldn't do anything in her terror except to nod and scrambled off as soon as she was released. Murder?! Oh dear god, how could he do something like this. Not even he could commit such a foul act as that, right? How would their parents take this kind of news, she could only hope that her mother wouldn't suffer another breakdown.
"Watch where you are going you incompetent girl!" so deep was she in thoughts that she didn't notice until too late. Falling onto her back on the hard ground she wasn't prepared for the kick to her side that her father delivered. "How many times have I told you to get out of my way you foolish girl!"
"I'm sorry papa," Usagi gasped out holding her side tightly trying hard not to whimper in pain, it would only anger him more. This one was going to bruise for sure she could tell. "There are some men looking for you, I think they're from the Republic."
"It better not be because of you girl," her father threatened. "If I find out that you have been disgracing this family more than you already have, I swear that I'll slit your throat in front of Jupiter's alter during his next feast day."
"Yes papa." She murmured quietly without emotions before he picked her up and flung her aside like a rag.
~*~*~*~
"Usagi!" the father yelled out impatiently pacing around the one room that served as the kitchen, dinning area and living area. "Where is that girl?!" Sitting on the hard wooden bench, his wife and first born wailed out even louder at his furious tone.
"We can't send our only son to the gallows! Who will carry on our name and care for us in old age?" the mother managed to say in between tears.
"Shut up woman! Don't you think I know that?" a slap quickly stopped his wife's sniveling. "Do you think that I'll give up my son who I have invested so much time and effort into? You have to be crazy. Usagi! Get your useless hide in here now before I go and get you!"
"I'm here papa," the young girl said tiredly. There was no use in hiding or pretending that she couldn't hear now. Ever since her parents were informed by the soldiers, she had been hiding everywhere. There was no telling what they would to do her if they found her, taking out their anger on her had become a habit over the years.
"Where have you been girl?" A slap was what greeted her before she even set foot into the room. The blow knocked her off balance and it was with a sickening sound of her head hitting against the wood doorframe that prevented her fall. Immediately the images before her eyes began to turn but a sharp pinch on her arm jerked her back to consciousness. "You've been sleeping again haven't you? Because of you laziness nothing has been done on the farm today. Nothing!"
"I'm sorry Papa, I was," she didn't get to finish her sentence because the second blow caused her to bite on her own tongue. Tears began to form in her eyes as she swallowed the coppery taste in her mouth. She could hear Hadrianus giggling behind his hand. Against her better judgment, she turned away from her father and glared at her older brother who did nothing to cover up the fact that he was still smirking.
"I never gave you permission to talk and don't you dare turn away from me when I'm talking to you!" This time she was prepared, but instead of striking her, he shook her until she felt her head was about to roll off her shoulders.
"Usagi, there's something we have to tell you," her mother said hesitantly. The blonde girl turned to her in shock. It was the first time her mother had spoken so softly to her. Usually she couldn't even bear to look at the girl without snapping some mean comments or order. "As you have probably noticed, you're the only person in this family who's blonde and blue eyed."
The girl nodded, ever since she was little she thought that it was her different looks that alienated her family from her; after all they were dark like all good Roman citizens. How many times in the past did she pray to Minerva to change her looks so that she could fit in? The Gods were cruel, no matter how many times she prayed or sacrificed to them, every day she woke up to find herself as blonde as ever and her family treating her no better.
"Well, I've been trying to hide the truth for the past ten years because I didn't want to bring any more shame upon our family than it already has," the woman broke down even more. "You don't know how much your father had to suffer the neighbor's taunts just because of you!"
"Don't call me that! I'm not her father!" The angry man cut off his wife glaring at Usagi who was too scared to ask any questions, even though it was burning at the tip of her tongue. Not her father? What did she meant by that. All her life she had been living with them. Why would they take care of her if she weren't part of the family? "Mama."
"It's true Usagi, he isn't your father," the woman continued for once totally forgetting about her son who sat next to her, smirking at Usagi. "A few years after I gave birth to your brother Hadrianus, I was raped one night by a stranger. I have never seen him in the village before, especially since there were no blonds in this village at all. Maybe he was someone from Gaul or Greece. I don't know but the fact is that he raped me. I couldn't bare the shame that it brought to my husband, but he still loved me enough allowed me to live in his house, even though nine months later I gave birth to you."
"You were raped by a stranger...." She quietly echoed her mother's words. "You mean I'm a... I'm... I'm a bastard child?"
"That's exactly what you are girl!" her 'father' yelled out. "And you ungrateful brat! We've taken care of you out of the goodness of our hearts and you, lazy girl that you are doesn't do anything useful to repay our kindness!"
"Usagi, I'm sure you know that the soldiers came this morning to arrest your older brother," the mother continued on.
"Mother! Don't, she's not my sister, she's a bastard," beside them Hadrianus drawled out in his superior voice, but for the first time in his life the look froze on his face when the woman reached out and slapped him.
"Don't you dare say that! I gave birth to both of you so like it or not she's your sister," then softly, she caressed his reddened cheek as if to apologize. "Don't say something so mean to the person who's going to save your life son."
"Usagi, the soldiers have never seen your brother. I know that this is too much to ask of you..."
"No it's not, we raised her, she should be more than happy to repay us back for all the trouble and shame she brought us!"
"Please let me finish," the mother begged. "You're brother accidentally killed one of the girls in the other village. The girl's parents only know his name but has never seen him before. You know that Hadrianus is our only son, we need him to carry on our name and take care of us in old age."
"No... what are you saying Mama?" Usagi whispered quietly even though she already had a pretty good idea. "You want me to take Hadrianus's place and be arrested by the Republic and be punished in his place by pains of death?" Wild blue eyes looked between the three of them, but none of them would look back.
"Please Usagi, understand our situation here. We need our son!" The woman cried out as she jumped up from her seat and kneeled in front of the blonde girl, clasping both of her hands tightly. "I won't get up from this floor until you agree Usagi."
"I... I agree Mama," the blonde girl whispered quietly in defeat. They all knew that there was no other choice for her, even if she didn't agree to take Hadrianus's place, it would simply be a matter of brute force, they wouldn't let go of their son so easily, especially when there was an alternative.
"Oh thank you Usagi!" Before the words were out of the mother's mouth, the young girl was yanked off her feet and dragged across the small room and thrown into a large closet. Before she could even register what had happened, the wooden doors were closed and barred with an iron rod. "Hey! What's going on?!" Usagi cried out in panic and banged on the door, she could see and hear Hadrianus laughing through the large cracks.
"I'm sorry girl, but you can run away if we don't keep you locked up till tomorrow," her 'father' explained as he checked the door to see that it was securely locked. "We'll come tomorrow before dawn to let you out."
~*~*~*~
Time never passed so slow and so fast at the same time. Nothing made sense, yet everything made sense; the reason why everyone treated her like a lowly slave, why her older brother always picked on her; why her mother never said anything when she saw how her husband abused her daughter. They said that your whole entire life flashed behind your eyes just before your death, but there was nothing in her eyes except for the calming blackness. After all, her life had been nothing more than a big insignificant lie.
It was too cramped in the small space to sleep, having to share the closet with old brooms and buckets, not to mention the rats and other interesting animals that made the place their home. She almost welcomed the gray light that slowly lit up the cracks between the doors, even though it meant that today was probably her last day. Like her parents promised, they came when the sun was barely over the horizon and she was dragged out by her 'father' with the same courtesy as the way she was shoved in last night.
"Before the soldiers are here, we have to cut your hair Usagi and make you look like a boy," her mother explained to her deaf ears. What did she care now about her physical appearance when she was due to die in a few hours anyways? But it was such a shame to see her hair be chopped off so crudely. It was her only feature that she valued and had spent so many years growing it despite the many fights with her 'father' over it.
As her mother took hold of a handful of the long golden hair that was streaked with dirt and grass, she didn't even take the time to brush out the knots before she pulled it tight making Usagi wince at the force, and ran the sharp edge of the kitchen knife through the shinny mass. Her hair that used to reach below her knees was now just slightly below her chin. The rugged uneven ends accentuated the sharp malnourished angles of her face that even she was amazed how much she looked like a boy, even though a very feminine boy. Surprised at how light she felt now without having to carry the weight of her hair around, it was incredible how she never realized how heavy her hair was until she was no longer weighted down by it.
"Here, change into this," her 'father's said gruffly and threw a set of her brother's cleanest clothes at her.
She had always been scrawny from being underfed and overworked and the fact that she was only ten made the disguise into a boy easier since her body had not yet developed its feminine traits. Now with the large shirt and long trousers there was no doubt that she could easily fool the soldiers who had never seen what Hadrianus looked like in the first place.
No sooner than she finished changing the sound of the trumpet could be heard from the road. She didn't wait for them to come into the house; instead she walked out and stood outside in the gray dawn waiting for them to come to her. All around, neighbors who she never liked peered out sleepily, curious by all the noise. It was rare to have such commotion in a town as small as theirs.
"Hadrianus Marcellus," the leader stopped in front of her and looked at her critically, for a second Usagi thought that his sharp eagle eyes could see through her disguise, he was the one who she met yesterday. "We are here to arrest you on the charges of murder."
"I am Hadrianus Marcellus, the one you are searching for," she said, pitching her voice as low as it could go. She made no attempts at resisting as they put rusty iron shackles around her wrists and ankles. She staggered under the metal that was almost as heavy as she was.
"Do you have anything you want to say and give to your son before we take him away?"
"No, he's no longer our son after bringing such shame upon our family name," her father spat out.
"Okay then. We better get going, it's going to be a long day's of walk ahead of us," the leader said.
"Goodbye Mama, Papa, take care of yourselves and thank you for everything," Usagi said bitterly without turning back. Each step that she took sucked a little more strength from her. The irons she had to wear where like parasites, dragging her down bit by bit. She cried out in pain as one of the men stabbed her in the back with the blunt point of his spear.
"Hurry up! We don't have all day here boy!"
"Yeah, the sooner we get there the soon we'll get to see some blood. There's nothing better than watching the head of scrums like you rolling off the chopping block kid," everyone laughed at the comment. "Your father did the right thing. If I were him, I would've killed you with my own hands, son or no son. I'd rather end my line then seeing it rot with the likes of you." Another one said and pushed Usagi so roughly that she fell down and scrapped her knees.
"Get up boy!"
"Is that the boy who murdered someone?" All around now people were starting to gather around the little procession. In the countryside, it wasn't everyday something like this happened. And when it was a crime as bad as murder, everyone it seemed wanted to express their anger and disgust. And express they did, with rotten pieces of vegetables, raw eggs and stones, they pelted the staggering blond figure as the soldier lead their way down the dirt road, waving as if they were the personal body guards of the Emperor himself.
~*~*~*~
A pail of cold water woke her up. Usagi screamed out in terror and struggled to stand up on the slippery cold floor. Where was she? The last thing she remembered... a throbbing pain erupted from the back of her head. Reaching out slowly she gently touched her hair, which was completely matted down by dried eggs, rotten food, and blood.
Yes that was what had happened, she was being paraded down the village as a murderer while the villagers hurled stuff at her. And Hadrianus, well hidden on the roof of a store was the one who threw the rock that hit her in the head. The soldiers must had dragged her back seeing how her feet were covered in blood and a whole layer of skin seemed to be missing from the soles of her feet.
Just looking at her own state, covered with her own blood and the gore from the trash, the awful disgusting smell, and the physical and emotional abuse that she had been suffering from, her self-control crumbled under all that pressure and like a dam the realization came crashing down. Bending over just in time, what little food she ate in the past twenty-four hours got hurled out. The combination of the sour smell for her stomach contents and the nauseating smell of blood, sweat, urine, and rotten flesh was like a physical assault to her senses, almost enough to make her lose consciousness again. Maybe it would've been a blessing if she did faint.
"Watch where you're spitting boy!" A spear was trusted through the wooden planks of her cell and the back of her calf, eliciting a cry of pain for her and a sudden clarity from her surroundings.
Usagi blinked to clear her mind of pain and backed away as keys rattled against the door.
"Come out you," she could barely kneel up when a rough hand grabbed her by the hair and pulled her out of the cell. "It's you're unlucky day today you little bastard. First day here and Lord Schuldig is already here to see you. And if you're a really unfortunate, he might just take you out of here."
"What do you mean?" she managed to gasp out in between the cries of pain. If he pulled just a little harder she was sure that her whole scalp would come off of her skull.
"You must've been a country bumpkin if you haven't even heard of Lord Schuldig," the guard chuckled. "He's the biggest slave traders in the Empire and the majority of slaves he buys are all for the same purpose. Oh you'll find out soon enough that there's a place worse than Hell."
As if she cared about what happened to her now. No Hell was worse than the Hell inside of her heart right now. It wasn't her fault. If she could, she would've chosen who her father was, but she was no god. What had she done in her past life that the gods had chosen such a cruel fate for her? Her guard yanked open a wooden door and suddenly Usagi found herself in a long underground tunnel that was plunged in total darkness. She could feel breaths from inside the long room, telling her that she was not alone; there were at least ten others all cramped together. She held her breath against the strong stink of the unwashed bodies, some of them must had been locked up for years to smell that bad.
Just when she thought that she was going to die from lack of clean air; she would rather die than inhale the putrid air, the door opened again, only this time it wasn't another prisoner.
A tall elegantly dressed young man stepped in, his slave bearing a torch. Usagi couldn't help but stare. Maybe it was the trick of the firelight but she could've sworn that his hair was the color of sunrise, such a bright tangy red. Her hand itched to feel the silky flame for her own curiosity but she knew better now than to do something so stupid. But then again when she didn't really give a damn about her own life when it was about to end anyway, there was nothing to limit her anymore.
"What a dismal collection you got me this time, Cornelius," a deep voice asked in amusement, slightly muffled by the scented handkerchief that he held next his nose against the strong odor. "These bags of bones won't even last five minutes in the arena. I'll become the laughing stalk of the Empire if I buy them." The intriguing figure said and was about to turn away when his green eyes caught sight of the small hunched body.
"You there," a riding whip tapped her on the shoulder, making Usagi snap up in surprise. What made her even more shocked were the green eyes that peered down at her with amused interest. "What's got into you Cornelius? Did you mean to sell me a child who hasn't even seen seven winters?"
"Don't let that rascal fool you my lord," The guard that brought Usagi in said gruffly. "He's already fourteen, and they brought him in yesterday for killing a girl. Probably because she didn't want to share his bed willingly. We haven't even had time to mark him yet."
"Fourteen you say?" The whip tapped against her shoulder than it slowly caressed up her neck and tilted her head up so that the inquisitive eyes to look at her face without obstructions from the shadows. "Tell me boy, how old are you?"
"I'm fourteen," Usagi said after clearing her throat. She tried to lower her voice as much as possible, but even she had to wince at how feminine it sounded.
"Let me see your hands boy."
Wordlessly she stretched out a palm giving the young man a weird look. He couldn't be older than twenty yet he had such an air of authority about him. It was almost physical, and he wore it like the white toga trimmed at the bottom with golden lace that probably cost more than her family's farm.
The whip moved from her face to her hand, tracing the hard blisters that were the result of years of farm work. She unconsciously clutched her hand in shame, girls weren't suppose to have such hard hands, they were suppose to wash their hands in rose petal water and soak them in sour milk to make them smooth and soft.
"Such small hands for a fourteen years old boy," the larger hands turned hers over and looked at the chipped nails. "But I can see that you've done a lot of physical work before boy. Tell me, have you ever wield a weapon before?"
Silently she shook her head, not daring to speak unless they find out her secret. She didn't like the strange glint in his eyes as he looked over her, she pulled her hands away from his and looked down. How long was he planning to talk to her? Why wasn't in interested in anyone else?
"Well you don't look like much of a fighter anyways. You won't last a second as a gladiator. I wonder how you ever managed to kill someone." His green eyes bore into hers. She shivered at the look, it couldn't be possible, but it was almost as if she could hear his voice in her head, telling her that he knew the truth; that she wasn't the real Hadrianus and that she had never killed anything in her life before. "Cornelius you old rascal, I'll do you a favor this time and take this kid off of your hands. The money will be transferred the same way. Make sure to take care of things here."
"Don't worry my lord, we already have a body waiting to take his place, we'll just put him down as a plague victim," The guard grinned as a gold coin was handed to him by Lord Schuldig's slave and bite the metal in his rotting mouth to test its purity. "Lucky little bastard that one, to be able to escape death so soon. But I don't know what's worse, rotting in the prison or getting gutted in the arena." His big belly rumbled with laughter. "I'll be looking forward to his fight. Maybe he'll be able to show us just how he killed his girl."
"Indeed, I think we will all be very interested," the richly dressed merchant nodded and turned to leave. His slave stayed behind and waited as the guard took off the irons around Usagi's wrists and ankles. She almost fell without the heavy chains to anchor her to the ground, but a slim yet strong arm reached out just in time before she could hit the ground. Looking up, Usagi looked to see it was Schuldig's slave who caught her. He seemed just a little older than she was. Even though he was a slave, he was still dressed in a beautiful dark blue material that felt so soft against her chaffed skin.
"Be careful there," the young slave smiled, not showing any discomfort even though Usagi could smell the horrible odor that clung to her every cell. "My name is Nagi, I'll be in charge of you from now on."
"Nagi," She repeated under her breath, the friendly brown eyes warming her a little. He smelled so nice, like the air of a fresh spring morning. Unconsciously she leaned against him and closed her eyes. "Thank you."
AN: Finally finished ^^;; That took me more than half a year to write. I started in the summer and forgot about it since it was saved on one of my email accounts. I was cleaning it out when I found it again.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything except for Hadrianus.
Prologue
Different lives had different values. This was what she was taught ever since she was born. No man and woman were treated the same. Just like no gods and goddess were the same. The life of a politician was worth more than the life of a criminal. The life of a daughter was cheaper than the life of a son. The life of a slave was even beneath that of a woman. That was her life, even at home. To her parents, she was no better than the cattle on their farm. Their world revolved around her older brother. He was the pride of the family even though she was the one who did all the work around the house... even the work that was meant for him. But they never knew, no one saw her around the house, she was just like a quiet invisible spirit that didn't exist in the house. Usagi was good for nothing.
Everyday, as she watered the farm she would see her father drag Hadrianus towards the schoolhouse. Life was not fair. She would willingly trade with Hadrianus any day, it would be a dream come true to be able to see so many kids of her own age hearing and learning new and incredible things. It was impossible for her to understand why her older brother did not feel the same way. But alas, it was impossible for her, someone had to take care of the farm and after the village school, they would have to sell half the animals on the farm to send Hadrianus to the school in Rome, where her parents had high hopes in him to become a senator.
Besides which, her father had already hinted that if they still didn't have enough money they wouldn't hesitate in using her miserly dowry to make up for what they needed. Just another sign of how little power she had. Girls were born to be married; they were just a burden on their father, then their husband, then their son. Her dowry was the only thing that her parents gave her, something to take to her future husband when she got married. Yet if they took that away from her, no one would want a girl with no wealth, no matter how fascinating she might look with her blonde hair that stood out from her family like a daffodil on earth.
"Usagi! Hurry up with the water!"
The young girl sighed and picked up the two heavy pails of water she was carrying from the well into the house. Her brother was already late for school, but it didn't seem to trouble him. She was the only one who knew his secret. Half of the time Hadrianus didn't even show up to school, choosing to fool around with his followers. He was big for his age and all the boys idolized idiots who had brute force. She tried to tell her parents about how her older brother was doing, but they never believed her. That night when she was trying to sleep on her stomach because the beating they gave her for 'lying about her older brother', Hadrianus came to see her. It was after that conversation that she started to question the fate that the gods gave her.
"I'm coming Mama," she shook her head and continued to the little house, wincing unconsciously at the memory. She still carried the scars on her back, but it was more of what Hadrianus said that hurt her more. It didn't make sense why Hadrianus would get all the attention just by messing up while no matter how much she tried no one would ever care for her like they cared for him. She didn't ask for much, just to be recognized that was all... by her parents. She could prove to them that she was better, but what would that accomplish? Nothing, Rome was a republic, but even though women were recognized as free citizens they were just the unheard shadow behind their husbands. Only the men deserved to wear the snowy white togas that declared them to be a citizen with voting rights in their great empire, the most advanced and civilized city on Earth. Yet to a mere child like her, it meant nothing.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see her father coming back to the house after he walked her brother to school. Usagi quickly got into the house before she could be seen. Last time she was caught staring, her father slapped her for slacking off. He was the worst out of all of them. It would've been better if she was born a boy. But Juno was not kind to her mother. From the day she came to this world she was cursed by this family of strangers.
Lifting the pail of cold water high, she carefully poured the water into the barrel that held the water for cooking. It was one of her chores to fill up the barrel every morning for food and later for bathing. At first, it was as hard as Hercule's tasks for a little child who had barely began to walk, but slowly even though her undeveloped muscles screamed under the pressure, the tasks became easier. The only consolations she had were the books she stole from Hadrianus, hidden under her bed. He would never notice since she could count the times he used those grammar books on the fingers of one hand. But it was beyond difficult to learn how to read and she had to take care that she wouldn't be caught by her father. It took her two months just to learn the alphabet, standing in the cold outside of the schoolhouse after her morning chores, eavesdropping on the teacher scolding the students inside. That was a year ago when she was nine.
It frustrated her beyond reason when she heard her brother being praised for his halted reading of the Virgril when she could recite the whole story just from memory. Sometimes she had the urge to just scream out to all of them to look at her.
Rude knockings on the door of the kitchen made Usagi spill the water she was pouring. Cursing silently under her breath, the blond quickly cleaned the water as best as she could from the clay floor but only succeeded in making a mud puddle instead. She winced as if she could already feel the blow that her father would no doubt deliver. But before that could happen the knock came again.
Even before she fully lifted the bolt from the rotting wooden door, she was knocked off her feet as the door was thrown open by someone way stronger than her.
"In the name of the Emperor we are here to arrest Hadrianus Marcellus for charges of murder!"
She looked up fearfully at the heavy men dressed in the customary metal armor. The leader was holding a scroll made from heavy papyrus parchment from the land of Egypt. What had her brother gotten himself into this time? A fear gripped her insides and twisted until she could hardly breath.
"You girl!" the leader said grabbing Usagi by the front of her worn cotton dress and roughly set her up on her feet. "Go get the man of this house and tell him that we are here to arrest his son for killing the daughter of a fellow citizen."
The blonde girl couldn't do anything in her terror except to nod and scrambled off as soon as she was released. Murder?! Oh dear god, how could he do something like this. Not even he could commit such a foul act as that, right? How would their parents take this kind of news, she could only hope that her mother wouldn't suffer another breakdown.
"Watch where you are going you incompetent girl!" so deep was she in thoughts that she didn't notice until too late. Falling onto her back on the hard ground she wasn't prepared for the kick to her side that her father delivered. "How many times have I told you to get out of my way you foolish girl!"
"I'm sorry papa," Usagi gasped out holding her side tightly trying hard not to whimper in pain, it would only anger him more. This one was going to bruise for sure she could tell. "There are some men looking for you, I think they're from the Republic."
"It better not be because of you girl," her father threatened. "If I find out that you have been disgracing this family more than you already have, I swear that I'll slit your throat in front of Jupiter's alter during his next feast day."
"Yes papa." She murmured quietly without emotions before he picked her up and flung her aside like a rag.
~*~*~*~
"Usagi!" the father yelled out impatiently pacing around the one room that served as the kitchen, dinning area and living area. "Where is that girl?!" Sitting on the hard wooden bench, his wife and first born wailed out even louder at his furious tone.
"We can't send our only son to the gallows! Who will carry on our name and care for us in old age?" the mother managed to say in between tears.
"Shut up woman! Don't you think I know that?" a slap quickly stopped his wife's sniveling. "Do you think that I'll give up my son who I have invested so much time and effort into? You have to be crazy. Usagi! Get your useless hide in here now before I go and get you!"
"I'm here papa," the young girl said tiredly. There was no use in hiding or pretending that she couldn't hear now. Ever since her parents were informed by the soldiers, she had been hiding everywhere. There was no telling what they would to do her if they found her, taking out their anger on her had become a habit over the years.
"Where have you been girl?" A slap was what greeted her before she even set foot into the room. The blow knocked her off balance and it was with a sickening sound of her head hitting against the wood doorframe that prevented her fall. Immediately the images before her eyes began to turn but a sharp pinch on her arm jerked her back to consciousness. "You've been sleeping again haven't you? Because of you laziness nothing has been done on the farm today. Nothing!"
"I'm sorry Papa, I was," she didn't get to finish her sentence because the second blow caused her to bite on her own tongue. Tears began to form in her eyes as she swallowed the coppery taste in her mouth. She could hear Hadrianus giggling behind his hand. Against her better judgment, she turned away from her father and glared at her older brother who did nothing to cover up the fact that he was still smirking.
"I never gave you permission to talk and don't you dare turn away from me when I'm talking to you!" This time she was prepared, but instead of striking her, he shook her until she felt her head was about to roll off her shoulders.
"Usagi, there's something we have to tell you," her mother said hesitantly. The blonde girl turned to her in shock. It was the first time her mother had spoken so softly to her. Usually she couldn't even bear to look at the girl without snapping some mean comments or order. "As you have probably noticed, you're the only person in this family who's blonde and blue eyed."
The girl nodded, ever since she was little she thought that it was her different looks that alienated her family from her; after all they were dark like all good Roman citizens. How many times in the past did she pray to Minerva to change her looks so that she could fit in? The Gods were cruel, no matter how many times she prayed or sacrificed to them, every day she woke up to find herself as blonde as ever and her family treating her no better.
"Well, I've been trying to hide the truth for the past ten years because I didn't want to bring any more shame upon our family than it already has," the woman broke down even more. "You don't know how much your father had to suffer the neighbor's taunts just because of you!"
"Don't call me that! I'm not her father!" The angry man cut off his wife glaring at Usagi who was too scared to ask any questions, even though it was burning at the tip of her tongue. Not her father? What did she meant by that. All her life she had been living with them. Why would they take care of her if she weren't part of the family? "Mama."
"It's true Usagi, he isn't your father," the woman continued for once totally forgetting about her son who sat next to her, smirking at Usagi. "A few years after I gave birth to your brother Hadrianus, I was raped one night by a stranger. I have never seen him in the village before, especially since there were no blonds in this village at all. Maybe he was someone from Gaul or Greece. I don't know but the fact is that he raped me. I couldn't bare the shame that it brought to my husband, but he still loved me enough allowed me to live in his house, even though nine months later I gave birth to you."
"You were raped by a stranger...." She quietly echoed her mother's words. "You mean I'm a... I'm... I'm a bastard child?"
"That's exactly what you are girl!" her 'father' yelled out. "And you ungrateful brat! We've taken care of you out of the goodness of our hearts and you, lazy girl that you are doesn't do anything useful to repay our kindness!"
"Usagi, I'm sure you know that the soldiers came this morning to arrest your older brother," the mother continued on.
"Mother! Don't, she's not my sister, she's a bastard," beside them Hadrianus drawled out in his superior voice, but for the first time in his life the look froze on his face when the woman reached out and slapped him.
"Don't you dare say that! I gave birth to both of you so like it or not she's your sister," then softly, she caressed his reddened cheek as if to apologize. "Don't say something so mean to the person who's going to save your life son."
"Usagi, the soldiers have never seen your brother. I know that this is too much to ask of you..."
"No it's not, we raised her, she should be more than happy to repay us back for all the trouble and shame she brought us!"
"Please let me finish," the mother begged. "You're brother accidentally killed one of the girls in the other village. The girl's parents only know his name but has never seen him before. You know that Hadrianus is our only son, we need him to carry on our name and take care of us in old age."
"No... what are you saying Mama?" Usagi whispered quietly even though she already had a pretty good idea. "You want me to take Hadrianus's place and be arrested by the Republic and be punished in his place by pains of death?" Wild blue eyes looked between the three of them, but none of them would look back.
"Please Usagi, understand our situation here. We need our son!" The woman cried out as she jumped up from her seat and kneeled in front of the blonde girl, clasping both of her hands tightly. "I won't get up from this floor until you agree Usagi."
"I... I agree Mama," the blonde girl whispered quietly in defeat. They all knew that there was no other choice for her, even if she didn't agree to take Hadrianus's place, it would simply be a matter of brute force, they wouldn't let go of their son so easily, especially when there was an alternative.
"Oh thank you Usagi!" Before the words were out of the mother's mouth, the young girl was yanked off her feet and dragged across the small room and thrown into a large closet. Before she could even register what had happened, the wooden doors were closed and barred with an iron rod. "Hey! What's going on?!" Usagi cried out in panic and banged on the door, she could see and hear Hadrianus laughing through the large cracks.
"I'm sorry girl, but you can run away if we don't keep you locked up till tomorrow," her 'father' explained as he checked the door to see that it was securely locked. "We'll come tomorrow before dawn to let you out."
~*~*~*~
Time never passed so slow and so fast at the same time. Nothing made sense, yet everything made sense; the reason why everyone treated her like a lowly slave, why her older brother always picked on her; why her mother never said anything when she saw how her husband abused her daughter. They said that your whole entire life flashed behind your eyes just before your death, but there was nothing in her eyes except for the calming blackness. After all, her life had been nothing more than a big insignificant lie.
It was too cramped in the small space to sleep, having to share the closet with old brooms and buckets, not to mention the rats and other interesting animals that made the place their home. She almost welcomed the gray light that slowly lit up the cracks between the doors, even though it meant that today was probably her last day. Like her parents promised, they came when the sun was barely over the horizon and she was dragged out by her 'father' with the same courtesy as the way she was shoved in last night.
"Before the soldiers are here, we have to cut your hair Usagi and make you look like a boy," her mother explained to her deaf ears. What did she care now about her physical appearance when she was due to die in a few hours anyways? But it was such a shame to see her hair be chopped off so crudely. It was her only feature that she valued and had spent so many years growing it despite the many fights with her 'father' over it.
As her mother took hold of a handful of the long golden hair that was streaked with dirt and grass, she didn't even take the time to brush out the knots before she pulled it tight making Usagi wince at the force, and ran the sharp edge of the kitchen knife through the shinny mass. Her hair that used to reach below her knees was now just slightly below her chin. The rugged uneven ends accentuated the sharp malnourished angles of her face that even she was amazed how much she looked like a boy, even though a very feminine boy. Surprised at how light she felt now without having to carry the weight of her hair around, it was incredible how she never realized how heavy her hair was until she was no longer weighted down by it.
"Here, change into this," her 'father's said gruffly and threw a set of her brother's cleanest clothes at her.
She had always been scrawny from being underfed and overworked and the fact that she was only ten made the disguise into a boy easier since her body had not yet developed its feminine traits. Now with the large shirt and long trousers there was no doubt that she could easily fool the soldiers who had never seen what Hadrianus looked like in the first place.
No sooner than she finished changing the sound of the trumpet could be heard from the road. She didn't wait for them to come into the house; instead she walked out and stood outside in the gray dawn waiting for them to come to her. All around, neighbors who she never liked peered out sleepily, curious by all the noise. It was rare to have such commotion in a town as small as theirs.
"Hadrianus Marcellus," the leader stopped in front of her and looked at her critically, for a second Usagi thought that his sharp eagle eyes could see through her disguise, he was the one who she met yesterday. "We are here to arrest you on the charges of murder."
"I am Hadrianus Marcellus, the one you are searching for," she said, pitching her voice as low as it could go. She made no attempts at resisting as they put rusty iron shackles around her wrists and ankles. She staggered under the metal that was almost as heavy as she was.
"Do you have anything you want to say and give to your son before we take him away?"
"No, he's no longer our son after bringing such shame upon our family name," her father spat out.
"Okay then. We better get going, it's going to be a long day's of walk ahead of us," the leader said.
"Goodbye Mama, Papa, take care of yourselves and thank you for everything," Usagi said bitterly without turning back. Each step that she took sucked a little more strength from her. The irons she had to wear where like parasites, dragging her down bit by bit. She cried out in pain as one of the men stabbed her in the back with the blunt point of his spear.
"Hurry up! We don't have all day here boy!"
"Yeah, the sooner we get there the soon we'll get to see some blood. There's nothing better than watching the head of scrums like you rolling off the chopping block kid," everyone laughed at the comment. "Your father did the right thing. If I were him, I would've killed you with my own hands, son or no son. I'd rather end my line then seeing it rot with the likes of you." Another one said and pushed Usagi so roughly that she fell down and scrapped her knees.
"Get up boy!"
"Is that the boy who murdered someone?" All around now people were starting to gather around the little procession. In the countryside, it wasn't everyday something like this happened. And when it was a crime as bad as murder, everyone it seemed wanted to express their anger and disgust. And express they did, with rotten pieces of vegetables, raw eggs and stones, they pelted the staggering blond figure as the soldier lead their way down the dirt road, waving as if they were the personal body guards of the Emperor himself.
~*~*~*~
A pail of cold water woke her up. Usagi screamed out in terror and struggled to stand up on the slippery cold floor. Where was she? The last thing she remembered... a throbbing pain erupted from the back of her head. Reaching out slowly she gently touched her hair, which was completely matted down by dried eggs, rotten food, and blood.
Yes that was what had happened, she was being paraded down the village as a murderer while the villagers hurled stuff at her. And Hadrianus, well hidden on the roof of a store was the one who threw the rock that hit her in the head. The soldiers must had dragged her back seeing how her feet were covered in blood and a whole layer of skin seemed to be missing from the soles of her feet.
Just looking at her own state, covered with her own blood and the gore from the trash, the awful disgusting smell, and the physical and emotional abuse that she had been suffering from, her self-control crumbled under all that pressure and like a dam the realization came crashing down. Bending over just in time, what little food she ate in the past twenty-four hours got hurled out. The combination of the sour smell for her stomach contents and the nauseating smell of blood, sweat, urine, and rotten flesh was like a physical assault to her senses, almost enough to make her lose consciousness again. Maybe it would've been a blessing if she did faint.
"Watch where you're spitting boy!" A spear was trusted through the wooden planks of her cell and the back of her calf, eliciting a cry of pain for her and a sudden clarity from her surroundings.
Usagi blinked to clear her mind of pain and backed away as keys rattled against the door.
"Come out you," she could barely kneel up when a rough hand grabbed her by the hair and pulled her out of the cell. "It's you're unlucky day today you little bastard. First day here and Lord Schuldig is already here to see you. And if you're a really unfortunate, he might just take you out of here."
"What do you mean?" she managed to gasp out in between the cries of pain. If he pulled just a little harder she was sure that her whole scalp would come off of her skull.
"You must've been a country bumpkin if you haven't even heard of Lord Schuldig," the guard chuckled. "He's the biggest slave traders in the Empire and the majority of slaves he buys are all for the same purpose. Oh you'll find out soon enough that there's a place worse than Hell."
As if she cared about what happened to her now. No Hell was worse than the Hell inside of her heart right now. It wasn't her fault. If she could, she would've chosen who her father was, but she was no god. What had she done in her past life that the gods had chosen such a cruel fate for her? Her guard yanked open a wooden door and suddenly Usagi found herself in a long underground tunnel that was plunged in total darkness. She could feel breaths from inside the long room, telling her that she was not alone; there were at least ten others all cramped together. She held her breath against the strong stink of the unwashed bodies, some of them must had been locked up for years to smell that bad.
Just when she thought that she was going to die from lack of clean air; she would rather die than inhale the putrid air, the door opened again, only this time it wasn't another prisoner.
A tall elegantly dressed young man stepped in, his slave bearing a torch. Usagi couldn't help but stare. Maybe it was the trick of the firelight but she could've sworn that his hair was the color of sunrise, such a bright tangy red. Her hand itched to feel the silky flame for her own curiosity but she knew better now than to do something so stupid. But then again when she didn't really give a damn about her own life when it was about to end anyway, there was nothing to limit her anymore.
"What a dismal collection you got me this time, Cornelius," a deep voice asked in amusement, slightly muffled by the scented handkerchief that he held next his nose against the strong odor. "These bags of bones won't even last five minutes in the arena. I'll become the laughing stalk of the Empire if I buy them." The intriguing figure said and was about to turn away when his green eyes caught sight of the small hunched body.
"You there," a riding whip tapped her on the shoulder, making Usagi snap up in surprise. What made her even more shocked were the green eyes that peered down at her with amused interest. "What's got into you Cornelius? Did you mean to sell me a child who hasn't even seen seven winters?"
"Don't let that rascal fool you my lord," The guard that brought Usagi in said gruffly. "He's already fourteen, and they brought him in yesterday for killing a girl. Probably because she didn't want to share his bed willingly. We haven't even had time to mark him yet."
"Fourteen you say?" The whip tapped against her shoulder than it slowly caressed up her neck and tilted her head up so that the inquisitive eyes to look at her face without obstructions from the shadows. "Tell me boy, how old are you?"
"I'm fourteen," Usagi said after clearing her throat. She tried to lower her voice as much as possible, but even she had to wince at how feminine it sounded.
"Let me see your hands boy."
Wordlessly she stretched out a palm giving the young man a weird look. He couldn't be older than twenty yet he had such an air of authority about him. It was almost physical, and he wore it like the white toga trimmed at the bottom with golden lace that probably cost more than her family's farm.
The whip moved from her face to her hand, tracing the hard blisters that were the result of years of farm work. She unconsciously clutched her hand in shame, girls weren't suppose to have such hard hands, they were suppose to wash their hands in rose petal water and soak them in sour milk to make them smooth and soft.
"Such small hands for a fourteen years old boy," the larger hands turned hers over and looked at the chipped nails. "But I can see that you've done a lot of physical work before boy. Tell me, have you ever wield a weapon before?"
Silently she shook her head, not daring to speak unless they find out her secret. She didn't like the strange glint in his eyes as he looked over her, she pulled her hands away from his and looked down. How long was he planning to talk to her? Why wasn't in interested in anyone else?
"Well you don't look like much of a fighter anyways. You won't last a second as a gladiator. I wonder how you ever managed to kill someone." His green eyes bore into hers. She shivered at the look, it couldn't be possible, but it was almost as if she could hear his voice in her head, telling her that he knew the truth; that she wasn't the real Hadrianus and that she had never killed anything in her life before. "Cornelius you old rascal, I'll do you a favor this time and take this kid off of your hands. The money will be transferred the same way. Make sure to take care of things here."
"Don't worry my lord, we already have a body waiting to take his place, we'll just put him down as a plague victim," The guard grinned as a gold coin was handed to him by Lord Schuldig's slave and bite the metal in his rotting mouth to test its purity. "Lucky little bastard that one, to be able to escape death so soon. But I don't know what's worse, rotting in the prison or getting gutted in the arena." His big belly rumbled with laughter. "I'll be looking forward to his fight. Maybe he'll be able to show us just how he killed his girl."
"Indeed, I think we will all be very interested," the richly dressed merchant nodded and turned to leave. His slave stayed behind and waited as the guard took off the irons around Usagi's wrists and ankles. She almost fell without the heavy chains to anchor her to the ground, but a slim yet strong arm reached out just in time before she could hit the ground. Looking up, Usagi looked to see it was Schuldig's slave who caught her. He seemed just a little older than she was. Even though he was a slave, he was still dressed in a beautiful dark blue material that felt so soft against her chaffed skin.
"Be careful there," the young slave smiled, not showing any discomfort even though Usagi could smell the horrible odor that clung to her every cell. "My name is Nagi, I'll be in charge of you from now on."
"Nagi," She repeated under her breath, the friendly brown eyes warming her a little. He smelled so nice, like the air of a fresh spring morning. Unconsciously she leaned against him and closed her eyes. "Thank you."
AN: Finally finished ^^;; That took me more than half a year to write. I started in the summer and forgot about it since it was saved on one of my email accounts. I was cleaning it out when I found it again.