Disclaimer: All I own is the shirt on my bac- Oh, wait, I'm shirtless. Okay, I own nothing.

Authors note: Hey ya'll! I started this Fanfic account in order to write death note parody fanfics, But… as it turns out, I suck at humor, so In ever posted them. On that note, though, I was recently hit with the lightning of inspiration and this little thing popped into my head, involving everyone's favorite plumber… Mario.

WARNING: This is my first fanfic, so It may have unnatural levels of suck in it. Also, this idea has probably already been done before, and if it has, I'm sorry!

~Prologue~

The Escape

Peach smiled politely at the koopa who stood before her, her hands behind her back, much like a small child trying to look cute to an annoyed adult. Her pink dress was as well kept as ever, and her cell was decorated with a few knick-knacks that she had managed to scrounge up, all of them prepared in a homely fashion to make the cell more hospitable.

The man-sized turtle looked it all over a few times, the smile of the princess never completely out of his gaze, just to make sure she was always in his sight and not trying anything "Funny".

"Sorry about this, Princess," The Koopa half-heartedly apologized, " its just that with all the noise you were making we want to make sure that you're not up to something."

"Oh, that's fine." She said, cheerfully, her cheeks a bright red color from being flustered, "I was just trying to get out of my corset, but if you want to double check, that's fine."

Well aware of the discomfort that was induced by the process of wearing a corset, the koopa was satisfied with that answer, but checked a few other places out of formality. Then, he hastily made his exit, convinced of the princess's innocence. After all, she had never tried anything on the many other occasions she had managed to get kidnapped, why this time?

As he closed the cell door, Peach's grin faded and was replaced with a more serious scowl. She listened intently as the guard's footsteps got fainter and fainter, then silently moved to the door when they were invisible to her ears. Yes, it was true, normally she would patiently wait for Mario to come and rescue her, but not this time. No, this time she had something far to important she needed to bring to her castle. There was no time to wait, twilling thumbs. She needed to get out. Now.

With the Koopa out of eye and ear shot, she slowly opened what should have been her locked cell door. While the trooper was looking things over, she slipped a small rock between the locking mechanism of the door and the hole it was supposed to slide into, making the door close, but not automatically lock like it should of. Peering out to make sure no one was in eyesight (it was late at night, most everyone was asleep), she slowly tiptoed out: her feet were bear, absent of the heels she usually wore, and the only thing she brought with her was wrapped tightly up in a bundle of cloth, held tightly to her chest. While the Koopa was looking over her room, she had managed to keep the item hidden under her dress, tenderly held between her knees.

Thank god for this dress.

As silent as a gentle wind, she tiptoed through the dim hallways, all of her senses keen and aware, making sure not a soul would be around to stop her escape. She passed one corner, and another, down the hallway, through the castle, with a skill and precision she never knew she had in her. Guards were mostly asleep, and the one's that were awake were drowsy and easy to sneak past, if she used the shadows and their own laziness to her advantage.

Out a window, on the roof. Slowly, she started climbing down, careful not to break loose any shingles. She would of just floated down (one of the many physics-ignoring powers of the magnificent dress), like she normally would of done, but that would be too obvious, and she needed to stay as hidden as possible: this was perhaps the most important mission she's even gone on.

…not that she's gone on many missions anyway.

Regardless, carefully, she scaled down the walls of the brooding castle, taking advantage of the spikes that protruded from the stone walls. While placed there for a scary effect, they were infinitely more useful as stepping stones to aid her decent. She was eager to escape, but never once did the toadstool princess ever rush: she had to make sure that both she and what she needed to bring to the castle would get out of this place unhurt.

Ground level.

All she needed to do now was get past the wall, and she would be home free. Quickly darting into a dark, shadowy corner to avoid the gaze of a passing battalion of Goomba's, she stood still for a moment, trying to think of what her next step should be. The walls didn't have the spikes the castle did, so she couldn't climb them, but the gate was so heavily guarded that she would be hard-pressed to find any way to sneak past those henchmen.

Well… Bowser's men were not known for their vast intellect or keen observation. If she could find a hammer bro's suit, then she could disguise herself and get out without a hitch. But where to get one…? In the castle? No, too dangerous…

Maybe, if she could find one of those leaves, she could fly out of here… yes, that sounded more promising, but she still didn't know where to find one.

But luck was on Peach's side. There was an item block right across the charred ground of the courtyard.

That's suspiciously convenient… but no one knows I've escaped, so it shouldn't be a trap… She reasoned to herself. Well, she didn't like it, but she didn't have much choice in the matter. Without a hammer-bro's suit or some way to fly, she wouldn't be able to get out of the castle at all, and failure was not an option. So, after checking, double-checking, and checking again that there was no one coming close, she braved the open air and approached the block.

With a quick, delicate jump, she bumped her head into the bottom, releasing the item within: a cape feather!. Without hesitation, she grabbed it, and within a few short moments was off, in the air, gracefully flying, where every guard could see her. She was spotted, but that didn't matter. The alarm bells were ringing, but she already was in the air, over the walls, the wind brushing against her face and flying through her hair. Her eyes brightened up. A smile on her face. She would escape. She would get out of here!

…a swishing in the air.

The sudden impact of a large, heavy object on the back of her head.

The cracking of bones.

She tumbled to the ground, quickly losing consciousness.

In her last act, she wrapped her body around the bundle of cloth. Maybe… just… maybe…

…*thud*

Princess Peach's crushed skull lay on the ground, her body wrapped tightly around itself, blood everywhere. The loyal henchmen of the King Koopa crowded it.

"Oh, man, oh, man! I didn't mean to do it! I swear! I panicked! It was an accident! I was-"

"Its too late for that! She's dead! You killed the princess! Bowser is going to rip you apart!"

The Hammer Brother responsible started to shake, fearful for his life, while the koopa's and goomba's around him started to whisper. What now? What should they say to the king? How will he react? What will he do?

Suddenly, the bundle caught the eye of one of the guards. Slowly, he approached it and unwrapped it to gaze at its contents.

All the talking stopped. Silence reigned for a whole minute, as they all contemplated what exactly it was they were looking at.

Then, the brave Trooper who opened up the bundle broke the stillness.

"Get the King. He's going to want to see this…"

-End Prologue-