Chapter 1: Sexual Education
It was the beginning of their fifth grade year. Helga was more than relieved Arnold had given her a pass on their 'heated moment' a top of the FTi building when she confessed her love to him. Somewhere in Arnold's heart, he knew after that deep heartfelt confession, it had to be more than the heat of the moment. For the sake of her being as unready to admit it as he was unready to hear it, they decided to forget it had ever happened.
One Friday morning Arnold was standing in the hallway grabbing his books from his locker as he listened to his best friend say "So buddy, you ready for this new class they're making us take?"
"I guess. I'm not sure why Mr. Simmons won't be teaching us." Arnold wondered as he closed his locker.
"Arnold, think about it. Why would someone as 'special' as that guy, not want to teach something like sexual education?" Gerald pointed out.
Before Arnold could respond, they heard…
"One side moron, I'm walkin' here!"
The boys turned to see Helga had angrily shoved a clumsy classmate of theirs out of the center of the hallway and into a trashcan as they listened to him say "OW...I'm okay!"
After watching the usual performance, Gerald shook his head and said "Mm, mm, mmm! I don't know why someone like her would waste her time with this class."
"Why do you say that?" Arnold asked, not understanding what Helga's aggressive behavior had to do with the topic.
"Arnold, this class is about sexual education AKA emotional relations. What makes you think anything about that girl is emotional?" Gerald asked, placing his hands on his hips.
"Whatever you say Gerald." Arnold sighed, as he headed to class with his best friend.
Meanwhile, Helga had been having her own conversation about the class with her best friend after taking her seat.
"Are you looking forward to this new topic we will be discussing with our new teacher Helga?" Phoebe asked eagerly as Helga gave an unamused look.
"Pttss...what could this guy possibly teach us that we couldn't learn by watching adult rated films?" she scoffed.
"Well Helga, sexual education is about more than physical interactions. It's also based on the emotional development and relations young people such as ourselves experience and learn to cope with."
Helga took no interest in the explanation having already been familiar with what it was like to experience deep emotional feelings for another person. If only she could find the strength to reveal them.
Just then she saw the cause of her capability for understanding emotional development take a seat in front of her.
Her eyes fell half lidded as she gazed at the boy with the corn flowered hair getting his books out to prepare for class.
Oh Arnold! Here it is a new day! I sit here forced to listen to the explanation of the cause of my emotional desires, when it's been right here in front of me!
"Okay class! Here we have a substitute teacher for this very special topic you will all be learning about; sexual education!" Mr. Simmons explained.
"Hello Class! My name is Mr. Martin and I'm honored to be teaching you. Today we'll be discussing both the physical and emotional development young people go through at this day and age. I have sheets to pass out to you all."
"What in the heck is puberty?" Stinky asked, scratching his head while the class reviewed their sheets.
"Although it pertains to several things your body goes through which we will be discussing, it basically pertains to the changes your body goes through as you grow throughout the years." Mr. Martin explained.
"Like what kind of food we get to eat? Do we get to eat those bananas?!" Harold asked eagerly pointing towards the desk.
Oh brother, what an idiot! Helga thought to herself as she rested her head in her hands. She spent all of the new class period fantasizing about expressing her feelings to Arnold rather than listening to the reason behind them. She already knew what it was about him that made her feel the way she did…
The way his helpful nature always caused him to do the right thing. His ability to look on the bright side in every dark situation. His never ending ability to put another person's problems ahead of his own.
If only she could find the strength to tell him how much she admired these traits of his. She didn't need to sit in class being lectured about feelings she had possessed her whole life that the cause of was more than clear to her.
When the bell at last rang, Mr. Simmons stood up from his desk and said "Class, let's all thank Mr. Martin for his very special lecture on sexual education."
A few students wore puzzled looks on their faces about what had just been discussed while most of them were just happy to see him go.
"Wasn't that interesting Helga?" Phoebe turned to ask her best friend.
"Yeah, the time really flies when you're listening to someone pass out already known information about yourself." she smirked.
Lunch soon came and the kids all left the classroom to head for the cafeteria. Arnold stood in the lunch line with Gerald, listening to him give his opinion about the class. "Man Arnold! Can you believe that list of topics he showed us?"
"I guess we had to find out about it at some point." Arnold said, grabbing some food.
"Something tells me an adult rated film could have gotten the job done." Gerald said wittingly.
As they were approaching the end of the line, an all too familiar incident occurred.
"Hey, no cuts!" Arnold complained, while watching the class bully jump in front of him.
"Save it sucker! I've got my eye on that last tapioca pudding!" Helga snapped as she snactched the well desired dessert.
After watching Helga leave the line with the tapioca, Gerald shook his head and said "Mm, mm, mmm! Still think there's someone out there for everyone?"
Arnold sighed as he then left the line with his best friend. While he headed for a table, Helga and Phoebe were sitting together going over the list that had been given to them that morning.
"Oh crimity! Can you believe this guy? Have a clear understanding of pregnancy and HIV. How dumb does he think we are?" Helga scowled, tossing the list across the table.
PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT
Complete puberty and the physical transition from childhood to adulthood
Reach nearly their adult height, especially females (males continue to grow taller into their early twenties.)
COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT
Attain cognitive maturity—the ability to make decisions based on knowledge of options and their consequences
Continue to be influenced by peers (The power of peer pressure lessens after early adolescence.)
Build skills to become self-sufficient
Respond to media messages but develop increasing ability to analyze those messages
Develop increasingly mature relationships with friends and family
Seek increased power over their own lives
Learn to drive, increasing their independence
EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Have the capacity to develop long-lasting, mutual, and healthy relationships, if they have the foundations for this development—trust, positive past experiences, and an understanding of love
Understand their own feelings and have the ability to analyze why they feel a certain way
Begin to place less value on appearance and more on personality
SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT
Understand that they are sexual and understand the options and consequences of sexual expression
Choose to express their sexuality in ways that may or may not include shared sexual behaviors
Recognize the components of healthy and unhealthy relationships
Have a clear understanding of pregnancy and of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections
Recognize the impact various media have on cultural views about sex
Have the capacity to learn about intimate, loving, long-term relationships
Have an understanding of their own sexual orientation (This is different than sexual behavior)
"Well Helga, young adults such as ourselves today are trying adult activities that can result in severe situations and lead to dire consequences." Phoebe explained, as Helga leaned back in her seat crossing her arms.
When lunch at last ended they headed to the classroom for the remainder of the day. While students headed for the room, Helga watched Arnold pass by her with an upsetting facial expression.
Before going to class, she hid near the end of the hallway against a row of abandoned lockers. Staring at her beloved's picture, full of guilt for her previous actions, she said to herself…
Oh Arnold! What is wrong with me? Each day I have a new chance to prove my love for you, and what do I do? Use it to find a new way to lash out at you and push you away! When will I find the strength to…
Helga's passionate moment was then interrupted by the last person she would ever find herself to have intimate feelings for.
"Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze…"
After hearing this, she swung her fist back and Brainy fell to the ground, sending Helga stomping in the direction of the classroom.
There she saw Arnold already sitting in his desk. Helga quietly walked by, thinking to herself I wonder how upset he is with me?
As she sat there gazing at him leaning over with his head in his hand, she heard the teacher say…
"Class, I'm sure you all enjoyed Mr. Martin's special lecture this morning."
"I don't think I'll ever eat a banana again." Sid replied.
"Oh please! If anything was bad about that lecture, it was the little time he spent discussing the developmental stage girls go through when they discover how truely amazing their sense of style is!" Rhonda explained, while the rest of the class rolled their eyes.
"I reckon it wasn't too confusing. At least now I know why I love lemon puddin' so much." Stinky said, scratching his head, while the rest of the class shook their heads.
When the bell for the last class ended, Helga watched Arnold leave the class with Gerald as she listened to her best friend ask "Do you have plans for this evening Helga?"
"Huh? Oh, not unless you consider getting a front row seat of Miriam past out at the kitchen counter to be one." Helga scoffed as she turned to Phoebe.
"Perhaps you would like to come over and work on our homework for a bit?" she offered, knowing Helga was never excited about returning to her neglecting family.
"Eh, why not? Just let me stop by my locker." she replied.
"Certainly." Phoebe chirped.
While the girls headed in that direction, Arnold and Gerald were heading for theirs.
"Thank goodness that day is over!" Gerald said, shaking his head.
"Yeah, but at least we don't have to worry about it anymore." Arnold pointed out.
"You mean except for the fact that now we'll be scarred for life with this sheet of information." Gerald said wittingly as Arnold rolled his eyes.
"Wanna come over for awhile?"
"No thanks. My mom's making me help with the laundry."
"Okay, see ya later." Arnold said, giving his best friend their secret handshake.
Meanwhile, Helga was grabbing the last of her books from her locker. "Perhaps we could stop by Slausens for a bit after finishing out homework." Phoebe suggested.
"I guess so." Helga sighed, still thinking about what she had done to Arnold. After grabbing the last of her books, she didn't realize she hadn't zipped her bag all the way.
As she and her best friend were rounding the corner of the hallway, Helga bumped into a familiar face. "Arnold! I mean, watching where you're going football head!" Helga scowled.
Arnold sighed at her once again negative behavior. Being the nice person that he was however, he helped her up and apologized for what had just happened. "Sorry Helga."
"Come on Pheebs!" Helga sneered, marching past her beloved.
Arnold stood, shaking his head at Helga until he finally looked down at the floor to see a little pink book.
It looks just like the book of poems I find last year?
He thought to himself.
Arnold opened it to once again find pages filled with poem after poem written about him. No one else was in sight and Gerald was no longer with him. Who could he ask about this? Even more importantly, who had written it?
Arnold took the book home with him, anxious to go upstairs and read it. When he arrived, he saw his grandpa sitting in the kitchen.
"Hey grandpa."
"Hey there shortman! How goes it?" Phil asked, setting his paper aside.
"Well, we had to learn about sexual education today." Arnold blushed, knowing his grandpa was likely to tease him about that.
"Sex ed, huh? Back when I was a kid, we never had anyone who was willing to explain that stuff to us. We just married who we liked and when the moment came, prayed the other knew what the heck they were doing. Hehe." Phil winked while Arnold rolled his eyes.
"Uhh thanks grandpa."
"Anytime shortman!"