The End is Coming by 8Eight
Yamamoto x Reader
I love you (I love you), don't leave (I'm sorry).
Without you I'm… (Even without me you're…)
…Less than nothing (…Fine)
I love you (I love you), please don't do this to me.
How could you ever leave from my side?
Yamamoto put on a smile and turned around.
Although he was smiling, the faux happiness masked the anxious clench he felt when he saw your face.
He had been worried, scared even, that this time would come.
The look on your face just confirmed it for him.
I knew it the moment
I saw you coming through the door.
Because I can understand it
Just by glimpsing at your face for a second.
The serious tone, that says you have something to say.
You stood there in the doorway tohis apartment.
You had a brooding look on.
Yamamoto had always thought it was cute how you seemed to drift off into your own little world at times.
Now, he could barely look at you.
It was just as well that you weren't focusing on him.
He wouldn't have been able to meet your eyes anyway.
I knew what you wanted to say.
I didn't really want to listen.
I wanted to delay that very moment.
I would pretend to be apathetic,
And with funny nonsense stories
I would get your mind off from talking.
Yamamoto watched as the contemplating look disappeared from your eyes.
You looked at him and opened your mouth to speak.
"Takeshi..."
You hesitated.
He took that chance to talk.
"Um, hey! Did you hear about today? How Gokudera ransacked Mukuro's reports about the negotions with the Aveli family? Mukuro nearly killed him for that."
You smiled faintly.
"Yeah, I heard from Colonello."
And the two of you fell into an awkward silence.
Still pretending to be clueless,
And no matter how much I change the topic, I know.
"Um...Takeshi?"
Yamamoto squashed down the rising fear.
"Yeah?"
Then the dreaded words.
"We need to talk..."
Goodbye is approaching, the end is coming.
The tear that I'm supposed to be familiar with drips down.
The words that I used only for you,
The words that ultimately turned useless,
Knowing fully well I repeat it, I love you.
"I'm sorry. But I can't do this anymore. It's too much."
Yamamoto froze.
Those words.
He had been hoping it had been anything but that.
"Takeshi?"
"Huh? Ah, yeah, um...yeah."
"I think it's for the best."
Yamamoto couldn't do anything but nod.
"Yeah."
You sighed in relief.
"Thank goodness that's over. But we can still be friends, right? Right, Takeshi?"
No response.
"Takeshi?...Oh..."
You couldn't do anything but stare as the tears streamed down the frozen boy.
You bowed your head and stood up.
You walked towards the door, then turned back to Yamamoto's still form.
"I'm sorry."
You turned back to the door in front of you and was about to leave when his voice said those three words he had been telling you since the beginning.
"I love you."
You just bowed your head and quietly left.
Even if it makes sense now, it has no meaning.
"I love you"
No matter how much I shout,
The words will never reach your ears.
Yamamoto kept staring at the space where you had been sitting long after you had left.
He wasn't shaking and the tears had long since dried, but his brown eyes were filled with sorrow and longing and loss.
And he kept on repeating those three words over and over again, hoping that you might hear.
"I love you. I love you. I love you."
Just stop talking,
Even if I talk my heart out,
I end up repeating myself again.
Even if I tell you to stop
(You end up ignoring me)
His mind told him to talking.
Yamamoto had stopped saying the three words, but he was now spilling out his heart and recalling his memories of you to the air in front of him.
It had been five hours since you had left and he hadn't torn his eyes from the place where you had left him.
He was broken.
As you're about to drift away
(I would hold you back and foolishly
tell you that I love you)
Even I were to cry, to make you smile
I would try to erase the
Annoyed expression of yours.
He remembered you.
He remembered your smile.
It had been a beautiful sight.
He had seen your tears.
They hadn't been as pretty, but he had enjoyed wiping them away all the same.
He remembered your frown.
They had caused cute wrinkles in your forehead, but he hated seeing you annoyed or pissed.
He had always gotten rid of the problem quickly.
He remembered everything.
Goodbye is approaching, the end is coming.
The tear that I'm supposed to be familiar with drips down.
The words that I used only for you,
The words that ultimately turned useless,
Knowing fully well I repeat it.
His heart beat steadily, a fact he hated.
Shouldn't the world be out of order?
Shouldn't everything be sad and gloomy and depressed?
Everything was wrong.
Yet he couldn't go insane.
The love that anchored him to you took care of that.
You had always felt pity towards men who went mad.
He didn't want your pity, he wanted your love.
He wanted you to say those three words.
He wanted you to accept those words from him.
Yamamoto went back to saying those words over and over again.
"I love you. I love you. I love you."
Love is going, my love is leaving.
My one and only love.
She has thrown me away.
Gradually, Yamamoto came back to his senses.
He felt like he had come out of a dream, something unreal.
Then he remembered everything.
Your voice, calm and confident as it relayed those words.
Your body, held upright, not fidgeting, but standing strong.
And your eyes.
God, those eyes, filled with sorrow for the pain you'd caused, yet still showing your determination in saying those words.
And those same eyes had looked at him with love, not as a lover, but as a friend, an ally.
And those eyes had been what had undone him.
No matter how much I shed tears,
I keep doing it
Without realizing how embarrassing it is.
As the pain hit, the flowing tears returned.
The wound in his heart opened even wider, creating a hole too wide to be fixed.
If someone else saw him, they'd ridicule him, hold it over his head forever.
But no one was there, no one to make fun of him, no one to help him stand.
And the tears kept falling.
I love you (I'm sorry, don't hold me back)
I love you (Even without me,)
Without you… (I hope you can be happy.)
… I am less than nothing.
He was still in the same place he had been seven hours ago.
You were at a highway over a river, leaning on waist-high railing on your elbows, gazing out across the water with the wind whippig through the air.
"~-chan..."
"Takeshi..."
"I love you."
"I can't do this."
"Please, don't go."
"We can't be together."
"I can't live without you."
"You understand, right?"
"Please, I don't get it."
"Please, let me go."
Yamamoto finally tore his eyes away from the spot where you had sat and looked through the window to the moon that now shone brightly in the dark sky.
"Why?"
I'm sorry (I love you)
I hope you can meet a better woman
And forget about terrible me.
You gazed up at the full moon, the same one Yamamoto was looking at.
In your hand was a simple locket with a picture of you and Yamamoto smiling and laughing together happily.
Your thumb absently stroked the picture as your eyes traveled from the moon to its reflection in the water.
You stood up and looked out across the water solemnly, then gazed at the picture.
"Gomene."
You kissed the picture and closed the locket with a snap.
Your voice was quiet as you said those last words.
"Sayonara."
You dropped the locket over the side of the bridge, staring out at the water for a few more seconds, then turned to leave and walked away.
Not once did you look back.
I love you, I love you.
Owari