I had been so sure. . .so sure that you were the one, that you were incapable of betrayal. Hell, I'd always thought if it was gonna happen it'd be the other way around. Walking in tonight, though. . .seeing you stretched out with my own mother moaning under your bulky frame, I felt like I was just gonna shatter there. I wasn't even gonna ask why, I know better than ta ask why, because the answer I get would prob'ly be one I wouldn't like anyway, so what good would it do? Not a damn bit, really.
So as I pack up the things that I've accumulated in the 10 years we've been together, I hear you ask me why, why I can't give you a chance, just not understanding, I guess. What is there really to understand though, aibou? You broke the heart of a man that has always been thought not to have one, and only you knew different. Only you knew the heart of Reno of the Turks, and I thought you considered it a priviledge. Guess I was wrong, ne? Not that it should matter, I seem to be wrong a lot nowadays. I hear the little girl we'd adopted after the city had broken into chaos when the Remnants came asking me why we were leaving and where we were going, and I'm not even sure what to tell her.
I finally told her Papa Rude did something bad and that Papa Reno needed to get away for a while and think things out and then maybe we could talk things out after, but I'm not sure anymore. I love you, aibou, never ever doubt my love for you, but I can't live with someone I can't trust. And I can't trust you right now. I hate to say that, when I trusted you with my life as well as my heart for so long, but it's true. I can't trust you now. It hurts to know that, but what can I do? Not a Gods be damned thing, not now.
And as I drive away with Rhianna belted into the back seat, like YOU always taught me a young kid should be, I look back, and the look I see in your eyes almost weakens me to the point that I turn around and go back and forgive you for all of it. But if I did that I would be weak, and Reno of the Turks is anything but weak. So instead I keep driving until you disappear from sight, my heart breaking a little more with every passing minute. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I am weak, or maybe being strong is just stupid when it comes to this. Not that it matters now.
Rude. . .Rude Rude
Your name is whispered with ever beat of my heart, making me want to turn back, to return to you and the life we had, or maybe just want to end it here and now, but I got a little girl to take care of now, and I can't do that. I can't be that weak. So I'm gonna be strong, I'm gonna make it. I'm a survivor, and that's what survivors do.