Ch. 1 Facing the Past

You are a single mom to twins, a girl and a boy. You worked hard to provide for your children, and for yourself. Life was hard, and it was difficult, but you didn't have a choice. With two little mouths to feed and two lives that depend solely on you, there was no choice but to survive and push through it. You sometimes wished that things had gone differently; that things hadn't turned out the way they did. But, then you wouldn't have Kyra or Braeden, and that was just something you weren't willing to give up.

You couldn't help but think about the past sometimes. It would creep up on you when you least expected it to. You had memories that would haunt your dreams forever; memories you wished you could forget. But, now the memories came flooding back. There was a reunion for all of your friends in college in a week, and just the thought of a reunion brought back every memory you had of the past.

May 2009

"Hey Darren, I think it's about time we finally talked about next year, and what will happen once we graduate next Friday," you said.

"Ok," Darren said. "What do you want to do?"

"You know that I love you, and I know that you love me too, but is it really fair to either of us to continue this if you are going on to L.A. and I am going back home?" you asked.

"I don't know Paige," he said. "I do see where you are coming from, but I don't know if I am ready to say goodbye."

'I don't know if I am either, Darren," you replied. "But, I just feel like taking a break right now would be the best for us in the end."

"A break?" he said. "What exactly do you mean by a break?"

"What if we just took a break for now? We won't be in a relationship anymore, but we will leave our options open. If in the future we find ourselves together again, we can pick right back up where we left off," you said.

"You mean like putting our relationship on pause?" he asked.

"You could think of it like that I guess," you laughed. "But, I want this to be our decision, not just mine. "I'm not completely ready to make this decision either, and if you really think that we can make the long distance work, please tell me. I do love you Darren, and I want you to live your dream of becoming an actor."

"I love you too Paige. And I want you to live out all of your dreams as well," he said. "If we do decide to take a break, you have to promise me one thing."

"Anything," you replied.

"You have to promise me we will stay in touch and we will remain friends," he said, "And don't lie and pretend we will remain friends like every other couple that breaks up. You and I have to be different; you and I started as friends, so we have to keep being friends. Promise?"

"I promise," you smiled back.

August 2009

"Hey Dare, I know it's been a while since we last talked. We've both been really busy. But, I really need to talk to you, and it has to be over the phone. So, please call me once you get this message, thanks, Paige."

That was the sixth message you left on Darren's cell phone. You couldn't believe you were pregnant. You and Darren were always careful. You didn't know how this happened, but now all you could do was focus on what lied ahead.

It wasn't like Darren to not return your phone calls. You had both kept your promise to remain friends; this wasn't like him at all. He didn't call you back, but he at least text you back.

Darren: Got ur msgs. What do u want?

You: Hey, what's up with u? It's not like u to not call me back. But, we really do need t talk and I don't want 2 do it over txt msgs.

Darren: I'm busy and don't have time just txt me.

You: Pls Dare, this shouldn't be done in a txt msg

Darren: Look either txt me or forget about it. This is a waste of my time.

You: Ok, fine. I'm almost 4 months pregnant.

Darren: UR PREGNANT?! Who's the daddy?

You: WTF Darren, YOU ARE!

Darren: Whatever. We broke up, so it's no longer my problem.

You: What are you saying?! What the hell is going on Darren, seriously?

Darren: Just leave me alone. We're done.

You could not believe what just happened. Not once in the years you've known Darren did you ever think he was the guy who would walk away and abandon you. You broke down in tears and cried it out. But, once the tears dried up you put him in the past and focused on your future. You didn't have time to dwell on him or focus on him; now your only priority and your only focus was you and your future child.

Present Day

You couldn't believe you were going to Chicago. You didn't want to go, but Lauren, Joey, Jaime Lyn, and Brian all relentlessly begged you to come to the reunion. You didn't want to face the possibility that he might be there, but you also didn't want him to keep you away from your friends.

You arrived at the restaurant for the reunion and saw all of your friends from college. You were having so much fun talking and reminiscing about the "old days" that you had forgotten Darren might show up. You missed your friends; you missed the fun you had with them. Talking with them made it seem as though nothing had changed.

You had completely lost track of time just talking and having fun when you heard a familiar voice behind you.

"Hey Paige, it's been a while," he said.

You turned around to see Darren standing there. All of a sudden every memory flooded your mind and all you wanted to do scream. But, you remained calm, and kept your composure.

"Yep," was all you said as you walked away.

"Hey come on, I know we broke up, but that was years ago and it was mutual," he said as he grabbed your arm.

"EXCUSE ME?!" you yelled. "DON'T YOU DARE COME UP IN HERE ACTING AS THOUGH EVERYTHING IS OK, NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you talking about? I thought we both decided breaking up was the best thing for both of us, I don't know what you're mad about," he said.

"I tell you I'm pregnant, you completely bail on me, and now you have the audacity to act as though you know nothing?! I feel as though I should be shocked, yet I'm not!" you spat at him.

"Pregnant?! What the hell are you talking about? You never told me you were pregnant!" he said wide-eyed and shocked.

"BULLSHIT DARREN! I tried calling you countless times and you never returned my calls. Finally, I tried texting you and when you finally responded you said you wanted nothing to do with me. Don't play the innocent card with me asshole!" you yelled at him.

"I never got any voicemail or text message, I swear. And if I had, I wouldn't have walked away!" he yelled back.

"Really, then explain the text messages from you three years ago," you said.