This one was based off Lorde's 'Buzzcut Season'. I'm sorry if anyone is offended by the issues tackled here. If you are offended, please PM me and I will alter this fic so that it no longer presents any issues.

I don't own Huntik: Secrets and Seekers.

The first had been Kai.

He had been Zhalia's first real boyfriend, and at the time, she thought that she loved him. He looked after her, took her shopping, listened to her while she complained about Klaus and his experiments. When she turned eighteen, he rented a flat for them to live in, with the hope that one day, they could have their own family. But he was only two years older than her, and they were too young. Zhalia's relationship with Kai crumbled into dust, like the ancient, fragile binding on the books in Klaus' shop.

The second had been Ryan.

They met at a club in Amsterdam, and what started as a one night fling turned into something else. Zhalia didn't believe in love at first sight, but she moved into Ryan's apartment only a couple of weeks after they met. However, their relationship was different to the big, dramatic love affair she had shared with Ryan. Theirs was ordinary, built on the small, every day things that they did together.

But then those small things tore them apart.

Ryan had been cooking, when some oil that had been spilled all over the worktop caught fire. Zhalia wasn't aware of the details, but she could clearly remember the burns that tattooed Ryan's skin, and how red they looked against the starched hospital blankets.

They tried to carry on, but Ryan needed to be cared for and Zhalia couldn't face it. He ended their relationship when he realised how much of a toll it was taking on her.

Zhalia hated herself for months afterwards because she had been such a coward.

Then she met Amar.

Amar was a body builder from Cairo who started working as muscle for Klaus to get extra money. When he was first assigned to her team, she thought that he was annoying and forever under her feet, until she really got to know him.

Amar was the one who showed Zhalia that what had happened to Ryan had not been her fault. He was the one who showed her that she had the right to her own life, to not be tied down by her over-active sense of duty. They slept together while gun-running from an obscure island in the middle of the Atlantic, but she didn't realise that she was pregnant until she was back with Klaus and Amar was visiting his family in Cairo. Klaus discovered it first, while looking at the results of her health check, and started pressuring her into having an abortion. With no one to support her, Zhalia caved into the demands of her only parent.

When Amar returned, Zhalia ended their relationship. She couldn't face him after what she'd done.

Now, she had Dante, and their relationship was different from the others. She was not the same person whom Kai had loved, like she was not the broken, hate-filled girl Amar had rescued. She was loyal to Dante, but had no duty towards him. They liked being together, but didn't live together; when they were together, they either worked or relaxed. He supported her, and Zhalia knew that Dante would always be there for her.

And somewhere, in her heart, Zhalia knew that she loved him.