AN: Slightly different than the anime, but still the same premise. Trying to follow along with the episode.
How Did You Know?
Kotoko stared at the screen, watching the man's vitals as they blipped by. She was timing them because one of the other nurses had asked her to. It seemed like a foolish task, but there wasn't much else she could do about it. Marina hovered behind her, listening to the absent-hearted beeps from the monitor. As Kotoko furiously scribbled down the results, Marina stepped over and watched. "How are things with you and Dr. Irie?"
Kotoko looked up, silence in her voice when she smiled softly. "We're okay," the distance is unbearable, she wanted to add but felt against it. "He's really busy working on his papers for classes. We don't talk much."
"Doesn't he avoid you at work? It's like you're not even married," Marina commented, seeing Kotoko's hand tense on her pen. "I'm not overstepping my boundaries, am I?"
"No, it's fine," Kotoko looked at the simple gold band on her finger and sighed quietly. As usual, she had one of her ever-ready excuses. "Irie-kun doesn't bother with me at work because he feels that if I get distracted, people will get hurt." Her mind flashed back to Keita and the pain she put him through trying to get a blood sample. She began to think of Naoki as well, and how he'd been avoiding her that time.
"It sounds like a reasonable answer," Marina scooped up the clipboard in her hands and started to head towards the door. Kotoko followed like a lost puppy behind her. "Don't you ever wonder if he really loves you?"
Kotoko knew the answer; she'd shared the bed with him every night. Though they never cuddled, she knew he was just a distant person at heart. Quietly shuffling through the halls with Marina, they stopped by the nurses' station and dropped off the paperwork as requested. "These conversations with you get more and more jealous, Marina. It seems as if you're trying to make me second-guess everything I do."
"Not intentionally," The woman replied, slipping another clipboard from the counter and paging through it. She caught a glimpse of Naoki and wondered if he was aware they were talking about him. "Have you seen Tomoko as of late? She was going to get coffee with me later." Marina asked, quickly changing the subject so Naoki wouldn't suspect them.
"Tomoko? I believe she went back to check on a little girl in room 34, but that was over an hour ago." Kotoko briefly noticed Naoki, but she didn't speak until he was gone again.
He's busy…don't bother him…this is his dream, not yours. Kotoko sternly warned herself.
"We should get this last run done before we head to the cafeteria," Marina finally stated to Kotoko, seeing the sudden sadness wash over the woman when her husband walked by her again without a word. "Just a request for some clean sheets in room 28," Marina murmured then stared at Kotoko. "Can you handle it by yourself or do you need my help?"
"No," She began to toy with her fingers, lacing and unlacing them. "I can get it done. You can go meet Tomoko, I won't hold you up. You guys are probably going to be talking about me anyway."
"We're concerned for you." She replied and smiled softly. "You should go take care of that. I hear Mrs. Edigawa doesn't like waiting for her clean linens."
Kotoko stopped by the hall closet and looked for the stack of ever-present sheets. One nurse was in charge of doing them every day, but the rotation always changed. Kotoko had to do them last Wednesday, so she knew how the cycle worked. Standing on her toes, she grabbed the corner of a sheet and the rest came toppling down. The weight of twenty sheets knocked her slightly off balance and she knocked her head into the shelf behind her. "Maybe I should have asked Marina to come with…she is taller than me…"
Naoki had been walking by when he heard the thud in the closet. Blinking several times, he stopped and watched Kotoko struggling to unwrap herself from the sheets. "Kotoko, don't you take anything seriously? You've been more scatterbrained than usual."
"I'm sorry, Irie-kun, I'm just really busy. You go ahead and do what you have to do. I'll be fine." She knew he wasn't offering to help, but she threw it out there just on the off chance that there was some slight sincerity in his words.
He reached down and took her hand in his, pulling her to her feet. After that task was completed, he took the sheets and handed them to her after folding them. "You need to pay attention. Someone will get hurt if you don't stop mixing house affairs with work."
"That's not what I keep doing!" She shouted, stomping one foot on the ground as if having a temper tantrum. "I'm not thinking about home! I'm thinking about the little woman with cancer in room 28 and how she needs sheets!"
"And you believe that lie?" Naoki murmured. "Whatever gets you through the day, Kotoko." He laughed as he walked away, wondering where her head was at.
Kotoko defiantly followed behind him for some time before noticing that room 28 was on her left, and Naoki went to the right. She split directions and went into room 28, fixing the sheets while the woman was out. Smoothing the sheets into place, she stood straight and admired her handy work. Dizziness swept over her briefly and she placed her hand to her forehead, steadying herself on the bedside table. Naoki stopped in the hallway to watch her, raising a brow at her actions.
Perhaps she did a little more damage than I previously thought when she fell , he told himself.
Kotoko idly ran her hand along the wall as she made her way to the cafeteria, noting the odd looks absently. She answered most of them with a curt nod, as if saying good morning to an old friend. After ordering her salad, she sat at the table and stared at it.
"Why aren't you eating, Kotoko?" Tomoko asked when she set her tray down beside the other group of girls. She watched Kotoko push her salad around with her fork, only sampling a few leaves at a time. It wasn't like her to be this disoriented. "Did you have another fight with Dr. Irie?"
"He called me scatterbrained," She growled slightly and nibbled on another leaf in anger. "I know I'm a bit whimsical, but I'm not scatterbrained!"
"Kotoko, I know you're upset with him, but at least try to eat, okay?" Marina pleaded, looking to the older red-headed woman. She was, indeed, a bit ill looking. Perhaps it was just a cold.
"Kotoko," Naoki stopped at the table the gang sat at, and stared at his wife with a cold expression. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. If I had known you would have taken it to heart, I would have thought of something else to say." He paused and smiled to the other girls briefly before making his way back through the crowd. I wonder if I should keep an eye on her…that stunt in the room wasn't just nothing.
Watching her husband come and leave like he never was, Kotoko began to wonder. "Irie-kun…" Her quiet words drifted away as she looked back down at her salad and nibbled another leaf absently. "He seems a little…distant," she murmured. "He never says sorry…"
"It's been an all around strange day," Motoki murmured into his glass of water. He noticed Kotoko's absent-minded touch to her forehead again and a wince of pain. "Kotoko, why not go see the head nurse?"
"I just have a headache, he does that to me sometimes. It's so hard figuring out what his intentions are. Why would he say he loves me only to make a fool of me in front of the whole building?" Kotoko groaned and let her head fall on the table. "I wonder if he's sincere…"
"Kotoko! Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself!" Motoki sternly warned her.
"Maybe if I do hurt myself, he'll finally notice that I need him around." Then the thought occurred to her that he had other patients he had to see too. You're marrying a man who plans to be a doctor…have a little more self-awareness. She groaned again and closed her eyes absently. "I feel like my world is falling apart without any way to stop it."
"Kotoko, what's with this sudden depression?" Tomoko asked curiously. "Are you feeling okay? You haven't really eaten, either."
"I fell and hit my head earlier," The woman murmured. "It's just a little bit of a headache."
The head nurse spoke to the red-head with such ferocious words that she wasn't even sure she was speaking of the same Kotoko that was absent minded. "Kotoko, the Internal Medicine is short on nurses, I'd like you to go over and help out, okay?"
Kotoko went to speak but froze. "Ma'am…why me…?"
"You're the wife of our best doctor! I know you won't let us down. Please head over there as soon as possible."
Kotoko wandered through the halls, blushing at the fact that she'd been called Naoki's wife, most people just recognize her for being a nurse, but never as Naoki's wife. She paused when she heard talking and looked over to the source. A bunch of women were walking through the hall, discussing politics. Kotoko blinked and shook her head slightly. Her honey-brown eyes gazed at the floor, quietly lost in thought until she felt herself collide with something hard and fleshy. She brought her eyes to gaze at the collision and blinked. "I-I-Irie-kun!"
Her stuttered words went almost unnoticed when he touched her forehead. "You're running a fever, Kotoko."
She paused and brought her hand to her forehead to feel. "I just have a headache, I fell in the closet earlier. Why are you here?"
"I'm a doctor, is it not my job to be where I'm needed?" He asked sternly, his narrow eyes watching her. "Kotoko?" She didn't answer him, concerning him slightly. Any other time she had a sarcastic response to his sarcastic words. Her eyes began to close slightly. "Kotoko…?" He blinked and reached over, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to the bench, sitting her down. "Have you eaten at all?"
"I had a few bites of salad," she replied, looking away from him. "Are you concerned about me? You shouldn't be…I'm just scatterbrained."
"Kotoko, I'm concerned because you almost passed out on me there. We should take you to the head-nurse and get you the day off so you can rest." Naoki commented, hearing fast-paced footsteps in the hall. "Nurse Shizuka, what's wrong?"
"There's an emergency, a little boy who's fading in and out of consciousness." The woman panted, trying to catch her breath.
"I'm going there now," he lit into a run, looking back to see Kotoko following him. It was the first time in a while that they were working the same room together, this time he could properly keep an eye on her condition. His pace slowed when he got to the exam room, where a half-naked child lay on the table. After the examination, he looked to Kotoko sternly. "Kotoko, ready the equipment."
She nodded and began to prepare for what needed to be done. "Done, Dr. Irie."
"It's going to hurt him, so make sure you hold him down." Naoki commanded as he began the procedure. The little boy began to thrash about, causing Kotoko to lose grip. "What are you doing? You're not holding him down correctly!" Kotoko blinked and tackled the boy's feet again, only to be shoved out of the way by the mother.
"Takashi! Hang in there, Takashi! Mommy's here!"
Kotoko stood in the corner, watching the mother hold her child with all her might until the procedure was finished. When Naoki turned away, the woman grabbed her child and held him close. Kotoko felt a brief envy for the woman. Even if it was brief, it was still a feeling she hadn't had in a long time. Naoki gave her a glare when the woman left, standing in front of her for a long time. "Kotoko, you're a nurse. Your duty is to be a nurse, whether you can or not."
Kotoko raised a hand to her forehead again and stared over at him. "I'm sorry, Irie-kun, he was too strong for me…" She gently laid her hand against his chest to steady herself from the oncoming dizziness again. He sighed and moved her hand away. "Irie-kun…I'm sorry."
"You're lucky he survived, Kotoko. He could have seriously hurt himself thrashing around like that." He paused when he saw her slide down the wall slightly. He figured she was just afraid of his confrontation. "Kotoko, I expected more from you." He turned to walk away, not looking back at her.
Kotoko's head began to swim, she found it difficult to stand upright. "Irie-kun…" But he kept walking. She took a deep breath this time. "Naoki!"
He froze, not used to hearing her call him by his first name. Since they'd met, it'd always been Irie-kun, even after they married. He moved his hands from his pockets and turned to see her wavering. "Kotoko?" Closing the distance between them, he held his hand to her forehead. "Kotoko, are you okay?"
She shook her head and closed her eyes tight, her brown eyes fluttered open to show him her pain, only to close and then she saw nothing but darkness.
Naoki sat by the bed and watched her sleep, his hand resting on his chin. She was sleeping so peacefully, but he couldn't seem to put the symptoms together correctly. For now, the head nurse just told him to make sure she rested, and didn't try to work the rest of the night. She hadn't been sleeping well, so he'd assumed she was likely running on less sleep than him, and the fatigue caught up with her. He gently touched her hand and closed his eyes. "Kotoko…"
"Dr. Irie?" A frail voice met him from the hallway, stepping into the room for a moment. "Can we talk for a few minutes?"
"Of course, Tomoko. What's wrong?" Naoki asked, standing to his feet as he went to close the door.
"I'm concerned about Kotoko. She's been acting very strange lately. She was sick yesterday, but she told me not to worry about it. It continued into this morning, but she said it was likely just something she ate. Then today, at lunch, she wouldn't eat at all." Tomoko paused and looked up at him. He seemed to be lost in thought.
His lavender eyes stared at hers for a long time, trying to put together the underlying message and missing pieces. "I think she's got the flu, but I can't be so sure. She hit her head earlier, so that accounts for the dizziness…"
"You're a doctor, and you don't know what's wrong with your wife?" Tomoko inquired.
"Admittedly, I don't see her that often at work. We rarely even work the same floor. I don't know what happens to her throughout the day, so if she's sick, I only find out from you or the head nurse. But thank you for your concern, Tomoko. I'll keep an eye on her."
"Irie-kun, I'm sorry about earlier," Kotoko managed to blurt out as they walked unsteadily down the halls. It was passed six in the morning, and the woman with the child had checked out around midnight when they got called out again. They had just dealt with the last case for the night and both had changed from their scrub gowns and into something much more decent for walking home.
"You were scared," Naoki murmured, his hand jammed into his green jacket. "Else you wouldn't have called me Naoki."
"You noticed…?" She whispered absently, watching the sun come up.
"I always notice, even if I'm a little bit slow figuring out something's wrong. How's your head?" He inquired, kissing her forehead softly.
"Better, but not completely finished swimming around. I think the fall was what made it worse," She casually murmured and looked up when they reached the house. Kotoko stepped inside first, watching him outside. "Are you coming in, Irie-kun?"
"I will in a bit, I'm just admiring the sunrise." He whispered, seeing her walk inside.
She's alright now, but earlier she seemed so tired. And Tomoko said that she was feeling ill this morning, I wonder if she has the flu…but her fatigue wouldn't explain much. Why did she pass out? Was she weak? Perhaps she's anemic. But now that I think about it, doesn't all of this match with one particular case…? Naoki's eyes widened when the realization hit him.
"I'm home!" Kotoko called out, falling onto the couch. She stared up as her mother in law walked in with tea. "Thank you, mom."
"Kotoko, how are you feeling? Onii-chan called earlier to say you were ill and may not be coming home. Are you feeling any better?" She inquired, watching the younger woman run a hand through her hair.
"I'm alright, thank you for asking." Kotoko answered, wondering where Naoki was.
"You still seem a bit flushed," Mom answered, staring at Kotoko quietly.
"I do have a slight fever still, but Irie-kun said it's nothing to be concerned with. I think I might have a cold." She smiled to the elder brunette and watched her concerned expression change slightly.
"I'll go get you some medicine," She answered.
The door in the hallway closed, and Kotoko looked up at the noise. "Wait," Naoki commented, looking down at Kotoko when he stopped. "Kotoko, aren't you pregnant?"
Kotoko gingerly touched her abdomen and looked up at Naoki. "Tomoko asked me that as well. You're the doctor…am I?"
He looked at his watch, his serious demeanor never faltering for a moment. "It's six, the earliest we can get to the gynecologist is at nine…why don't you get some rest until then?" He took her gently by the elbow, leading her up the steps. "You haven't been sleeping much, I imagine that's why you blacked out on me earlier."
She nodded and smiled to the family for a brief second before entering the bedroom and falling onto the bed. She didn't bother to change, or to cover herself with the blanket, she just fell asleep as soon as her body hit the mattress. Naoki blinked and picked her up, laying her on the bed correctly, then pulled the covers over her frail body before kissing her gently on the lips. "Goodnight, Kotoko. I'll see you in a few hours."
"Irie-kun, I can't find my jacket," Kotoko announced, digging through the closet. She was still tired, and very much concerned for why Naoki was avoiding her. She pulled down a jacket and put it on, shrugging her shoulders into the warm fabric. He wasn't in the bedroom, where else would he have gone? Looking around, she paused when she saw a shadow pacing in the kitchen with a medical book in his hands. "Irie-kun? What are you reading?"
"Uh?" He looked at her and smiled. "I was just wondering what to expect. Trying to piece together all the symptoms." He smiled softly at her. "Are you ready to go? Mom is going to go with us, if you don't mind."
Kotoko shook her head with a bright smile. "I don't mind at all, Irie-kun." She laid her head against his shoulder when he led her outside. "What if it's another false alarm?" Kotoko asked sadly.
"I'm pretty positive that I'm right," He murmured with a yawn. It dawned on her briefly that he hadn't slept yet. He'd been working a two day shift with only an hour of rest while she was in the nurses' lounge. She could see that his lavender eyes were determined to know the truth, but for what purpose? Why did he seem as though he was angry about the outcome?
"You won't be angry if it's a false alarm?" His mother asked absently as she walked beside them in silence. "Onii-chan, I know how much this would make your father happy, but…don't feel forced to keep trying if it's a false alarm."
"That's not why we did this," Naoki snapped. "I did it because I love my wife, and it was her birthday, that was what she wanted."
Although he said that's what she wanted, Kotoko felt strangely relieved. She'd never heard him say that he loved her out loud in front of other people. Not with such ferocious passion in the words. "Irie-kun," She whispered as they almost passed the building. "Irie-kun! The building is this way…"
"Ah. Sorry." Naoki blushed lightly remembering the night they had spent together on her birthday, tangled in each other's arms, holding each other as close as possible. The embraces, kisses, looks…all if it flooded back to him almost at once. Then the thought occurred to him that he'd likely never be able to do that again if they had a child. He was almost angry with the fact.
"Nao-chan!" The woman offered him a slight nod. "I haven't seen you since you were a mere child. How did your studies go? I heard you were going to become a doctor." The woman paused and observed Kotoko, holding her hand to her mouth. "This must be your wife, Kotoko. I remember meeting you before."
"Yes," Naoki whispered. "Can we talk after the examination? I'd like to know for sure what's wrong with Kotoko before she gets sick again."
Kotoko shot him a glare, but a small smile crept to her features. He was concerned for her. That was a major plus. The woman led them into the examining room, asking Naoki's mother to stay outside in the waiting room.
The exam was quick, but very thorough. After the woman had finished, she smiled at Kotoko. "I'll need to take a blood sample, just to test and make sure you're not anemic. It's something most pregnant women are at risk for." After the blood was drawn, the woman looked to Naoki. "You still don't seem satisfied, Nao-chan."
"Is it too early for an ultrasound?" Kotoko hadn't even thought of asking, which was a bit unfair since she wanted to.
She nodded to Naoki. "No, it's never too early. I can't tell you the gender, but you'll be able to see him or her for the first time."
As the woman set up the equipment, Naoki took Kotoko's hand and kissed it gently, looking to the monitor. It was still black, but the screen started to flicker on. Nothing was on it yet. He smiled down to Kotoko and waited. The doctor hadn't made a decision yet, she never clarified the outcome, so he wanted to see the child himself before he believed her word. When the image came onto the screen, his breath caught. "Ko…toko…" He looked over at her, her smile was as wide as his, but hers was more excitement than wonder.
"Irie-kun…" She looked up at him and noticed the slight watery texture in his eyes. She wanted to say something, but nothing came to her. "Can…I get a picture?" The doctor nodded and printed out a few copies, handing them to Kotoko. "Thank you."
"So," Naoki's mother inquired outside the office. "What's the result?"
The two lovers exchanged glances and Kotoko held up her fingers. "Three months." She paused and thought about it. "Just shy, actually. 11 weeks, to be almost precise."
"Naoki-Chan! Kotoko-Chan! Congratulations!" The woman gave both of them a hug before smiling and letting go. "Now…about names…"