Where the Heart Is
By Susan Zahn
Disclaimer: Much as I'd love to be able to retire and live off the proceeds from these stories, I sadly do not own the rights to these brilliant characters. Maybe if you put in a good word for me…?
Author's Note: This story is part of a broader story arc, my "Kismet" series, that I've been developing over the past two decades — long before any of the prequels, EU books, or other materials came out. While I occasionally borrow proper names from these newer sources (for convenience' sake) I feel no compunction to make my stories conform to any "canon" other than the original saga films. I hope you can enjoy them in the same spirit of freedom that I have felt writing them.
One sweetly solemn thought
Comes to me o'er and o'er;
I am nearer home today
Than I ever have been before.
-Phoebe Cary: Nearer Home
It was late spring in the southern hemisphere of Corellia, bringing with it sunny days broken periodically by random rain showers. But today the forecast for the Coronet region called for sun and the occasional billowy white cloud with a strong chance of romance.
Seated beside her husband, Leia Organa Solo smiled broadly and tipped her head back against the headrest. Han had rented an open-cab speeder for a couple of days, and as they raced into the afternoon, she split her attention between admiring the scenery and watching him take pleasure in driving outside and unfettered on such a glorious day. Reaching up, she adjusted her sunshades and closed her eyes, enjoying the combination of bright sunlight on her skin and the cool slipstream that whipped around them and tugged at her hair.
With most of Corellia's famous ship-building industry located in orbit, there were still vast amounts of rural landscape, woodland and farmland, mountains and coastline planet-side. They were currently traveling through the rolling countryside beyond the city limits of Coronet, exploring the patchwork of forests and vineyards and country estates. In several ways this region reminded her of one of her favorite spots on Alderaan, an observation she'd come to appreciate as that pain had slowly receded after five long years.
They had arrived on Corellia two days ago to conduct New Republic business, Leia's goal to finalize a second manufacturing contract with the Kuat Drive Yards. Now serving in his permanent role as her pilot, escort and entertainment, Han always traveled with her on these business trips, but didn't normally participate in the actual dialogue. However, in this case he had proved very useful in greasing the sticky cogs of negotiations by exercising his insider's understanding of the starship building industry. Despite the fact that the Kuats were his formerly estranged family — a connection Han preferred to keep secret — and there were still awkward moments whenever they were all together, Han had done an impressive job of keeping things on track and under budget.
Because the talks had gone so efficiently, things had wrapped up early and the couple suddenly found themselves with nearly two days of free time on their hands before their scheduled return to Coruscant.
That was all the excuse she and Han had needed.
The first open afternoon had been a blur of activity; while Han had disappeared to finish up some personal errands, stock up on his favorite local delicacies, and rent out the speeder, she'd finished writing up her report, triple-checked the weather forecast, and begun packing all the necessities for a day-long excursion and picnic lunch. At daybreak the following morning, they'd fled the bustling city in search of fresh air and some long-overdue quality time alone.
Leia noticed a drop in their speed and opened her eyes to see they were pulling off the main roadway and coasting into a flowering meadow edged by hardwood forest. As the speeder came to a stop in the shade of the trees, she watched as Han shut down the engine.
With a cocky, expectant smile, he turned to her and dipped his chin to look over the rims of his own amber-tinted sunshades. Only then did she deliberately glance back from where they'd come.
"You can still see the road from here, you know," Leia said in a demure tone.
"Only if we eat right here," he agreed, then pointed toward a slight divide in the woods to their side, indicating a path she hadn't noticed. "But that way looks promising."
Her smile grew as she reached up and patted her hair, checking to see how much damage the wind had wrought. Today she'd worn it in a single flat-style plait down the back to keep it out of her face as they'd raced through the countryside with no particular goal other than seeing it all. Months ago, when she'd announced her intention to chop off half of her hip-length tresses, Han had practically gone into mourning, but in the end they were both satisfied with the shorter result. With typical Solo aplomb, he'd said that at least he didn't have to worry about falling asleep on it anymore. There was that, but she was also pleased by the simplicity and time saved.
Han's appearance had changed as well over the past sixteen months since their marriage. His hair was shorter and he rarely wore the old Spacer's Guild Bloodstripe down the outer seam of his trousers anymore except when tinkering on his ship, the Millennium Falcon. As she'd suspected, wearing it had been both a show of solidarity and nostalgia, his way of thumbing his nose at the Empire for disbanding the organization and forcing him to either submit to Imperial control or become an outlaw. But with the collapse of the Empire, the reforming of the Guild, and his change in lifestyle, there was little reason to wear it anymore and he'd switched to less controversial attire that matched her upscale wardrobe. The years of war, his time in carbonite, and the stint of heavy responsibility as a general had aged him somewhat, but he was still very much the handsome and scruffy Corellian she'd fallen in love with, particularly after a fast ride in an open-cockpit speeder.
"Come on, Your Worship. Let's go for a walk."
Feeling too good to chastise his employment of that ridiculous title — she was almost used to it now, almost — she climbed out of the speeder and then paused to straighten the hem of her dress. It was a simple sleeveless sundress that stopped just above her knees; the light green color had reminded her of spring, which seemed appropriate. Knowing they were heading for the country, she'd abandoned higher heels and picked a pair of flat, strappy sandals, something she almost never had the pleasure of wearing during the day.
Han climbed out the opposite side of the speeder, reached into the back seat to lift out the backpack containing their packed lunch, and then slung one of the straps over his shoulder. She eyed him with a happy grin as he came around to her side. Likewise dressed for the occasion, with an open-necked and short-sleeved white shirt, dark grey shorts, and a pair of his own sandals he typically only wore to the beach, he appeared relaxed and irresistibly sexy.
To hell with lunch, I'm ready for dessert, she thought as her grin grew predatory.
They set out for the trees. As the dark shade created by the branches interwoven high above engulfed them, she copied Han and shoved her sunshades up onto the top of her head to see better in the gloom. The random calls of hidden creatures and the almost universal humming and chattering of insects surrounding them formed a natural symphony of sounds. A rich, earthy scent added to the experience, triggering memories of other forest strolls throughout her life, but in particular of the forests on Alderaan that were nothing but memories now.
"Do you know where we're headed?" Leia asked in what she hoped was a suitably nonchalant tone although she was starting to feel just a little breathless. Whenever he set the pace, she was forced to divert some of her attention to matching his longer stride, which tended to leave her feeling like she was always rushing to keep up. Over the years she'd become convinced this was intentional, his own little way of keeping her off-balance.
"I'll know the spot when I see it," he assured her with his customary confidence.
"You know, my father used to warn me about following unfamiliar paths. I can only imagine what he'd said if that included being lead down that path by a known scoundrel."
"He probably would've given up trying to advise you the day after you climbed into my bunk. You obviously weren't listening."
"Good point. I never did have much common sense when it came to you." Leia reached out to take his free hand, both to walk closer at his side and in hopes of slowing him down a little.
There was a sudden loud crash of branches and dry leaves, and a flurry of movement off to the side as a sleek, long-legged animal bolted through the underbrush, leapt across the path ahead of them and then disappeared into the scrub on the other side.
Startled, Leia crouched down, ready to dive for cover, while Han's hand dropped to the empty spot where his blaster used to ride like an extra appendage; well-honed instincts from too many close-calls over the years died hard. Only when he visibly relaxed did she follow suit.
"That was a jelenie doe," Han provided helpfully. "It's birthing season and she's probably got a faun tucked away over there somewhere. She took off to draw us away."
"Smart mama," Leia murmured in relief as she reclaimed his hand.
While the flora and fauna of this land were foreign to her, they were undoubtedly well-known to her husband, and Leia wondered how much he missed his home planet. Han was good at putting up a front to hide that sort of emotion — almost as well as her — but how often, if at all, had he visited planet-side since his self-imposed defection from his family so long ago? Did he ever regret that decision? She suspected that he didn't these days since his life had taken such a positive turn, but had he in the past?
They walked on in silence for a while, enjoying being along together within such unadulterated beauty. Up ahead she could see the path widening and ending in a spot of sun-bathed grass. However, the moment they stepped out from the trees and underbrush, she realized this wasn't just another field and she brought them to a halt.
She and Han had clearly stumbled across a private estate, complete with a long well-manicured strip of green grass bordered by orchards. In the center sat a small pond, the surface of the water sparkling as it gently rippling in a soft breeze, its edges bordered by flowering aquatic plants. The far end of the grounds sloped up a hill to where a modest mansion stood, seeming to gleam white in the bright sunlight.
"Oh," she said simply. Remaining still as she admired the picturesque setting, she was reminded of something, but couldn't think of any reason why it would be familiar. Then she finally broke the silence. "This is private property. We should go."
"I don't see anything moving up there. Maybe nobody's home."
"That doesn't mean —"
"Come on, we won't be seen."
"Han, you can't be serious. We're trespassing." With her hand still buried in his larger one, she was led into the rows of fruit trees until they were partially hidden from view before stopping once more. Rather than get upset — the way "old Leia" would have handled this sort of situation, she admitted with chagrin — she just shook her head and moved her sunshades back down over her eyes. With any luck at least she wouldn't be recognized.
"They won't mind," he reassured, convinced in his own logic. "We're just going to sit here, have something to eat, and get a little sun. Then we'll clean up and be on our way. No harm done."
Leia rolled her eyes but didn't bother offering any more resistance. It wouldn't have made any difference except to spoil the mood, and his logic wasn't so flawed that it warranted an argument anyway. Besides, it was a lovely spot. Who could blame them?
Han set the bag down, pulled out a blanket, and spread it out on the grass so that half was shaded under the nearest fruit tree while the other half remained exposed to the warm sun. As they settled into cross-legged positions beside one another and began to unpack the food and wine in the shade, she said for what felt like the tenth time, "It's a beautiful day. This was a great idea."
Han picked up the bottle of wine and read the label with apparent approval. "Not bad. Did you pick it out? They're not far from here, you know."
"I had a little help. The vintner recommended the year." She loved that he appreciated that sort of thing; it was a facet to him she'd discovered during their personal milestone of a mission on Ord Mantell, and she'd been surprised and delighted to learn of this shared interest.
As he opened the bottle and poured golden wine into the goblets held in his other hand, she helped herself to a piece of cut fruit. Making a delighted sound, she picked up another piece and leaned forward, indicating he should open his mouth. He did and she popped it in. His lips closed over her fingertips to suck before she could pull them away — not that she'd tried very hard.
"Did I thank you yet for helping to seal the deal yesterday?"
"You did last night, Sweetheart, in more ways than one. I like it when you're grateful."
"You're such a cad sometimes," she said, not at all offended, as she accepted one of the glasses he held out.
He lifted up his own glass to clink the side against hers in a toast. "Well, you sure know how to show a cad a good time."
She drank to that.
Leia had done a lot of soul searching in the nine months following the demise of the second Death Star. Their evolving careers and heavy workloads had kept them apart most of that time, and the stress and absence had begun to take its toll on their still-new relationship; with little promise of improvement in the future, Leia had suddenly announced that she did not intend to campaign for any sort of leadership role within the New Republic. Instead she had applied for and received the much more modest job of new business envoy. It had seemed a rather radical decision to all but those who really knew her.
For similar reasons Han had followed suit by resigning his commission as a general — or to be more accurate he'd switched to inactive reserve, making it very clear that things would have to be dire indeed for him to come back — and accepting her subsequent offer of serving as pilot and escort in her small entourage of one.
Because Han's lifestyle had changed, and because Leia was a competent pilot in her own right who wasn't above filling in as co-pilot on their business trips, this had meant a major shift for Chewbacca's as well. Despite her fears that the Wookiee would resent her supplanting him in Han's life, Chewie had reassured her that was not the case and had expressed his eagerness to finally return to his own long-neglected family. Soon after, Chewie had launched a small shipping and brokerage business from home — with Han volunteering as a consultant — and any of her lingering guilt dissipated as it became clear that the savvy Wookiee had been planning his business model for some time. They continued to remain very close and in regular contact despite their busy schedules.
The first year of Han and Leia working as a team in this capacity had involved a great deal of travel throughout the old Empire and even beyond. The new arrangement not only kept both of them actively involved in the new government they'd fought so hard to create and stimulated both on an intellectual level, but more importantly, it kept them together most of the time.
Leia had proved extremely adept in her new role, able to read and anticipate the business people she dealt with on a level Luke had once hinted was more than normal, an observation she chose to ignore. All the same, her accomplishments had not gone unnoticed and it wasn't long before colleagues and business reporters alike began referring to her and Han as The Dynamic Duo, something Leia found exasperating and Han enjoyed mining regularly for off-color jokes.
As the initial craziness and excitement of the New Republic had worn off, things had begun slowing to a comfortable pace for them. The happy result was more free time to start thinking about the broader future, of more personal pursuits and long-term goals like putting down roots and starting a family.
There was no longer any question in Leia's mind that, aside from marrying Han, the best decision of her life had been to step away from the path so many had assumed she would take. It had given her the liberty of having a life of her own.
Things weren't perfect. Stress still took its toll at times and the couple had the occasional squabble as frustrations overtook them, but just having Han nearby did wonders to ease her troubles, no matter how unconventional or stubborn he could be. By simply walking into the room, he could brighten an otherwise dull day, and his ability to make her laugh almost never failed; in many ways he had been her touchstone since Yavin IV, and that had not changed. He knew how to soothe her just as well as he knew how to rile her, and better still, he was learning how to spot when she needed one more than the other. She wasn't the easiest person to live, she knew that, and yet he made it clear that putting up with all her faults was worth the effort. And days like today just reminded them that all those annoyances and difficulties seemed trivial compared to the rewards.
The meal was delicious and refreshing, and they lost track of time taking turns feeding one another, laughing and reveling in the freedom of the day. The wine balanced well with the food and the weather, and it left her glowing as she sat enjoying the view.
Finished with eating, Han straightened out his long legs and lay back on the blanket, let out a sigh, and bent one arm back to cushion his head. He balanced his almost empty goblet on his stomach with the other hand and appeared content to just watch the clouds drift by.
"Content" was a noun Leia never would have assigned to herself in the past, not with the war and her personal grief and the seemingly hopeless way in which their relationship had started. But she had finally learned to live in the moment — a lesson from her dear husband — and there was no better word to capture her emotions right now. She was content…
Except her eyes kept going back up to the small mansion in the distance. There was something definitely familiar about the place and it kept tickling at the edge of her conscience. Had she been here once as a child while accompanying Bail Organa on one of his many junkets? It was entirely possible, although this place seemed a bit on the small side, a little too pastoral and simple, for the level of society they had circulated within back then. In any case, she couldn't recall any details to back up the strong sense of déjà vu that continued to haunt her.
"How long do you think we can stay here?" Leia pondered aloud.
"Have you seen anybody moving up there?"
"No. It's been quiet."
"Then we're fine."
"You're probably right." Leia dropped her gaze down to him, enjoying how peaceful he looked, at home here on Corellia. The sunlight brought out the lighter highlights in his brown hair and she moved a hand to run her fingers through it. "Love you."
"Love you, too." After taking one last swallow, Han set aside his now empty glass and then reached for her hand, drawing her down beside him on the blanket.
She offered no resistance. Twinning her arm around his and then interlacing their fingers, she joined him in looking up at the sky. "It's a beautiful day."
He hummed in agreement, politely neglecting to point out that she kept repeating herself. Instead, he idly rubbed his thumb inside her palm for a while before venturing, "Remember that afternoon the day after the battle on Endor's moon? That little spot in the sun by the stream?"
It was Leia's turn to hum, recalling in vivid detail the tiny sun-washed glade they'd found in the forest, far from gossipy Alliance personnel and severely curious Ewoks. What followed was a much more private celebration of both a hard-won victory and the sudden promise of a future, done in their own special way. He'd arranged that little outing as well, and she wasn't at all surprised that his mind was heading in that direction today. In fact, she'd sort of counted on it.
On the other hand, this was anything but a secluded spot and she tilted her head to eye him in suspicion.
He mirrored her movement, but his hopeful expression made it obvious that he'd reached a different conclusion. She knew that look well.
"Don't be silly," she countered, being proactive.
"Why not? There's nobody around."
"There might be."
Her fingers were still meshed with his, and he took advantage of it to lift her hand up to his mouth and kiss her knuckles before beginning a slow advance up her arm, moving his lips along the recess of her wrist over her pulse-point. "There's nobody else here."
"Somebody still might see."
"That's never stopped you before."
She let out a long-suffering sigh. Leave it to Han to bring up the time they'd been caught in a storage closet on the fleet flagship. If the topic of them as an "item" hadn't already been a favorite among the rumor-mongers within the former Alliance, that little indiscretion had all but ensured them a spot in the Top Ten. While she wanted to be outraged at being reminded — for over a week she'd blushed whenever anyone gave her a longer-than-normal look — she knew he'd already won this point. Han loved leveraging her lack of caution with him whenever he got the chance; it was an unfair tactic because she had no ground on which to stand, and yet each time she lost this battle it just added to his arsenal. The fact she found him so damned attractive did not help matters.
By the time Leia could think of another protest, he'd already rolled toward her and reached the inside of her elbow. Her determination wavered; this man could do things with that mouth that she was pretty sure were illegal on a few of the more conservative planets.
"Do you really want to risk spending the night in a detention block charged with lewd behavior in public if we get caught?"
"I can't think of a better reason…" He paused for just a moment and lifted his head to waggle an eyebrow at her. "Ever heard of conjugal visits?"
She snorted a laugh before rolling her eyes at him. "I sincerely doubt I'd still be in the mood by that point."
"Aw, I have complete faith in you, Sweetheart." He resumed his progress up her arm. "Come on, we won't get caught." He sounded so sure of himself that she was halfway to believing him already.
His lips reached her shoulder, and then he veered past the strap of her dress to run his tongue along the smooth valley of exposed skin above her collar bone. Now up on his elbow, he began a casual exploration of her neck, and despite her best intentions, her head fell back in automatic response. Encouraged, Han's free hand came to rest on her closest knee and then slowly rode up the bare skin of her inner thigh beneath the hem of her dress.
She could feel her remaining defenses crumble, but just because she was about to give in to the inevitable didn't mean she couldn't be smart about it. "Hold that thought," Leia gasped, stopping his hand.
Rolling toward him to meet his mouth in a promising kiss, letting him know they weren't finished yet, she then pulled away and got onto her knees. After sparing one last glance up the hill to make sure nothing had stirred above, she turned back to face him, held out her hand for him to take, and then she drew him upright. As she leaned forward to kiss him again, she gracefully swung a slender leg over both of his and straddled him. She quickly arranged her dress to hide anything incriminating and smiled at his surprised expression.
Han's large hands began to roam over her back as hers snaked around his neck and into his hair, pulling him in close for a much deeper kiss. When he began to caress her sides, his thumbs grazing over her nipples and making them stand out even more under the soft green material of her dress, she let out a low moan of pleasure, suddenly very glad he'd been so persistent.
"Your Highness!" Han said with only partially feigned surprise as his hand once again found its way beneath her dress, this time sliding much higher between her legs. "I do believe you've forgotten something…"
"I believe in being prepared," she corrected with a purr, the thrill of his discovery adding to her flush of excitement.
"Were you planning to seduce me?"
"Seduction would imply a reluctance on your part, which…" she paused as her own hands dropped to the front fastening of his shorts to work them open and release his ready erection, "I'm very happy to say you have never possessed."
Using his shoulders for balance and leverage, she rose onto her knees above him so he could position himself, and then she sank back down into his lap, taking him inside. A mutual shudder of pleasure went through them as they were reunited once again. Goddess help her, but she would never get tired of this with him! He made her feel so wanted and needed, so complete and alive, and in this beautiful setting today she seemed to soar on the feelings he stimulated within her.
No matter the disagreements, heartaches, and humble apologies shared between them over the years, they had always been very good at this. That fact went a long way toward making up for everything else.
As they moved together, Han's powerful arms lifting her up, she loved how this position allowed them to kiss and caress unhindered and she could easily meet his eyes. The stunning surroundings faded from her awareness as she focused on making this moment of unity last.
It was only while in this act with him that Leia opened herself to that unique and otherwise unwelcomed ability to sense all life around and within her, to tap into the Force and willfully join in the communion on a level far beyond the physical they shared now. In these intimate moments all the anger and fear she still associated with her birthright was forgotten and she could rejoice in the gift. Being outdoors and so close to the source of so much energy, combined with Han's own life force blazing like a star going nova in her embrace, amplified the sensation ten-fold.
Leia whimpered in ecstasy and clutched at Han as waves of tingling pleasure began surging through her. Moments later, with his eyes locked on hers and one hand gripping her hip, he dropped back onto his opposite elbow and she leaned forward onto her hands so he could thrust freely. She sensed he was close, not just from the look of concentration on his face and his own heavy breathing, but through that deeper connection. When he finally did come, she rode it out with him, feeling overwhelmed and elated by the intensity of the experience.
Panting, Han dropped the rest of the way down to the blanket and laid there for a long minute. His expression had settled into a mix of awe and affection. Not for the first time, she desperately hoped he could feel that same profound connection, despite his skepticism and lack of Force talent, but he never mentioned it and she never dared to ask. Some things seemed better left unsaid, and there was little sense in questioning what clearly worked.
"You're amazing," Han murmured, as if he still couldn't get over the idea he could be so lucky.
"You inspire me."
Still regaining her breath, Leia sat upright and beamed down at him for a few more seconds before giving in to the inevitable and shifting off. As he quickly tucked himself back into his shorts, she decorously rearranged her dress before stretching out beside him once more.
In companionable silence they resumed watching the sky, their hands interlocked.
The shadows had grown longer to cover their entire blanket. With a touch of sadness, Leia realized their idyllic afternoon would soon end. Life onboard the Falcon and in their posh apartment on Coruscant wasn't bad — in fact, they had found a comfortable and fulfilling routine — but something about this place sang to her and she would be sorry to leave.
"I like it here," she sighed. "I think maybe it reminds me of home."
Han's hand squeezed tight around hers. "I'm glad to hear that, Sweetheart, because I put down earnest money on this place yesterday."
She sat up abruptly and stared down at him, his words snapping her out of whatever spell she'd fallen under. Clearly she'd misheard. "You what?"
"It's ours if you want it."
Too late Leia realized she probably looked foolish with her mouth gaping open. She closed it, unable to decide if this was some big joke. Han wasn't above pulling the occasional prank, although it explained how he'd known exactly where to park the speeder and why he'd been so sure they were alone.
"You're joking."
"I've never been more serious. Remember when we talked about finding a nice home some place quiet, not just that apartment on Coruscant? Some place of our own for when we're ready to have kids?"
"Yes, but…" She didn't know what to think, her emotions all jumbled up. Mostly she wanted to be irritated that her husband had done this behind her back, picking a place and even making the first commitment on the property without consulting her first. But yet the anger never came.
Whether or not they could afford it wasn't the issue; between their combined salaries and what remained of the Organa family off-world wealth she'd recovered following the Empire's collapse, they could live comfortably for the rest of their lives.
Leia gazed around them — at the serene settings with the lovely home perched above it all — and then something deep within her suddenly recognized this place and any negative feelings melted away with the realization. Maybe that was why it all felt so familiar.
"I've dreamt of this place," she said in an awed whisper. "Of us. Here. I asked where we were and you told me it was home…"
Han eyed her for a long moment, his expression inscrutable, and she could imagine what was going through his head; he was thrilled that she had already come to like the place, and yet part of him squirmed at the idea of premonitions and the Force. Under normal circumstances she would have agreed completely.
"Well… Were you happy in the dream?" he asked, and she admired his skill at finding a way to compromise with his own internal conflict.
Nodding, she finally felt a smile return as that last tiny coil of doubt within began to unwind. "Yes, I thought so."
"Then that's good enough for me." He retook her hand, kissed the back of it in a grand gesture, and then climbed to his feet. "Want to get a closer look?"
"I'd love to."
Han helped her up to her feet and then gave her another deep kiss. Then he held out his elbow for her to slip her arm around.
As they strode up the hill, Leia noticed that the sun was beginning to set, the rays of pink- and blue-tinged light washing over the countryside like a living watercolor, and she hugged his arm closer.
They were going home.
The End