Hello guyz… this is another sad oneshot that I've made. I put in here a long poem that I made that describes what she really feels. I don't know why I keep on writing or rather typing sad oneshots. But oh well, I hope all of you will like this one. But I'm warning you that it's so sad. Reviews guyz!!! Any kin of review would be greatly appreciated… P
Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice…
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In life…
No! Rather in loving…
There is always bitterness…
Problems always come in the way…
But it's what makes loving someone sweeter, right?
But maybe not for her...
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…Alone bcoz it's too late…
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They always said that…
It's hard to love and
To force someone to love you back
But is it really that hard?
Isn't there something harder than these?
But for me it's not
I don't even think it is
Why?
There are always simple reasons
that are so complex
Love just come to us
It comes without us noticing it will come
Especially when we least expected it
You'll be love by other people
With you not knowing it
So how is it hard?
When you didn't know when it will come?
When you didn't even know it's already there?
When you will never notice or
know that's what you feel?
It's true that it hurts
But there's something harder to do than this
Isn't it hard to lie?...to pretend?
…to let go…
That's what I've been doing for so long
It's hard to pretend that…
I'm okay even if I'm not
It's hard for me to smile when
I almost felt like crying
All I did was to pretend…
To lie…
I just keep all the hurt inside my heart
I keep on smiling whatever happens
I know what they think of me
As an idiot… a nuisance
But what they didn't know is that…
Behind of all these smiles
I feel so lonely
I cry when I'm alone
When no one is around
So that no one will see me cry
I don't want them to worry
If they ever care about me
But still no one notice
No one understand
No one care
No one love me
They're not been worried even once
They didn't show or even just let me feel
What I wanted the most
What I needed the most
To be loved
Even once…just once…they don't!
I want them to show and let me feel that
They care, they understand and
They love me
They said they're my friend
But I don't know if I'll still believe in that
I don't know if I will still trust them
They never let me feel important even once
I don't expect them to understand
Because now I know they wouldn't
Because I'm different
I know I am
Behind these smiles
The smile that I always wear with my cheerfulness
There lies a face
Full of sadness and pain
A person that wanted to be understand
A person that wanted to be cared for
A person that wanted to…
Be loved
Even after all what I did
I'm here again in the darkness
Crying all alone even though that smile is still visible
Then when I remember that
It added to the pain I already felt
I remember when I once tried to talk you
But all you said is you didn't care about me
It hurts
It hurts so much
Now I know I won't have a chance
Then another hard thing came
I need to decide right now
I need to let you go
Especially now that I knew you didn't care at all
No one cares at all
I don't know if I can
Can I really let you go?
When you just said you don't
care a single thing about me
it already hurts so much
Nonetheless if I let you go
All that I wanted is to make you smile
To save you from the darkness
But you keep on pushing me away
I shouldn't have tried to make you smile
If I just know that it will hurt this much
Even my so-called best friend didn't care
She doesn't even treat me as a friend
Such a kind friend she is
But in spite of all that had happened
I need to continue my life
My life without my friends
Without my best friend
And without him
At first I thought it would be easy
I keep on ignoring everyone
But I'm wrong once again
It's not that easy to forget
I'm now giving up
I can just think of one way how to end all of this
I'm sorry
I can't
I can't take all of this anymore
I wanted to act like it's nothing even though it is
I really wanted to
But I just can't
I'm really sorry
I think this will be goodbye
Thank you
For making me feel important
Even if it's not true
Thank You
With that she takes a last look from a picture she's holding and to her diary where she's writing all what she really feels. It's a picture of her with her friends. They're all there – all of her friends and him.
Then after that everything becomes blurred and it seems everything to be in slow motion. A piece of glass can be heard falling on the floor and break into pieces. She remembers all her happy memories with them. Everything. She smiles when she remembers all of her friends as she heard drops of red liquid dripping on the floor. Her breath slowed as well as the beat of her heart. She called for his name for the last time with the last breath she had as she slowly fall on the ground cold and limp. She's now gone. The stains of tears can be clearly seen on her face but that smile of hers never fades. She's now happy because she never feel again all the pain that she felt. But she's sad at the same time when she remembers all her happy memories because she will never see them again, she will never see him, NEVER.
Then the door suddenly flew open revealing all of her friends and him. They are shocked on what they saw. Her room was mess up but it's not what shocked them. It's her lying helplessly on the floor. They slowly went near her as tears started to well up on their eyes. Yes, they're crying for the loss of the one who changed them. The one who makes everyone happy. But now she's gone. They didn't even have a chance to show her how much they cared. And for the first time the ice queen can be seen crying. Crying with the loss of her friend… her best friend. She shake her hoping that she's just joking while tears continue to fall on her eyes. But however hard they tried there was no response. They were too late.
"Mikan please wake up. Please don't leave us. We need you." her friends keep on saying but it will not bring her back to life. And the famous Kuro Neko can also be seen crying. Crying for the loss of her light. For the loss of the girl she loves.
"Mikan I'm sorry. I love you." Was all he could say as he approaches her cold body and hug her tightly. He wanted to tell her how much he cared and loved her. He wanted to show her. They all wanted to prove that they cared. Now they're all blaming themselves. But they can't do anything on what is done. Because it is too late…
Now…
He's alone again…
But not only him…
She's also alone again…
They lose her...
And most of all...
She lose them... him...
so does it make anything sweeter?
nothing happened to their...
"Together Forever!"
there is no such...
"a happy ending!"
love stays not only forever but for eternity...
and...
death can never separate two people...
who truly love each other...
...but not for them...
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-owari-
Arisa-chan: Hi guyz... waaaah! sorry... i deleted the summaries on my profile and the poll... i think you already got a clue on my future stories... so that's it... and another reason is..well...i don't like displaying y ideas for so long... hehehe... you already know why?!