Follow up to "What Should Have Been." A short blurp that kept nagging at me until it was the only story idea in my head. After all, there's more than one way to skin a cat. This is my loving version of how Severus and Lily should have happened.
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Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any characters, settings, themes, etc in this story. All persons are representative of JK Rowling and I humbly use her creations with gratitude. That being said, the plot is all mine and I thank anyone who dares to read this take on the Severus/Lily relationship.
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This story is my take on the original story. You'll see what I mean. I have not read the books, except for DH, in a long while and while I know I should, I did not look in to the books to check the accuracy of some of the events from this scene. Some events are reminiscent of the movies and some things are my own creations, I guess :). Anywho, read and enjoy.
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Lily had gone out that night, rushing outside with the excuse of walking to the store for candy for the children, when she had in fact gone to get away from James. It was Halloween and the early chill of winter kept the inhabitants of Godric's Hollow bundled up. Nothing could keep Lily inside though. James' presence filled the room and he had become even more insufferable in the year and a half since Harry's birth.
How she chose to marry that man, she did not know. James Potter was still a know-it-all git who had nursed and coddled her since their wedding day. He did not want her to work. He did not want her to have to do anything other than care for their child and maintain their home. But Lily had not gotten married to be confined to the household; she had married James to have a partner in life, someone to share in her joys and her sorrows.
So she walked now to burn off her anger, cursing his name that James Potter dare tell her that she was inane for creating such a ghastly costume for Harry. Lily increased her pace as the smug look on James' face replayed in her head.
And his friends!
Lily could not tolerate Sirius Black. Remus was alright on most occasions but she did not miss his looks towards his best friends as if the sun shone out of their asses. The men were purebloods and, Voldemort supporters or not, they boasted their superior status. Their tauntings and teasing of her when she confused muggle and wizarding terms or history frustrated Lily to no end and no matter how many times she pleaded with James that it hurt her feelings, he never hastened his friends from goading her.
Plastic bags full of cheap candy under her arm, Lily began walking the bustling streets, slowing to watch the children as they ran from house to house. A smile pulled up the corners of her full lips as Lily dreamed about their future Halloweens with Harry as he grew. Their home was further away on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow and Lily did not expect many trick-or-treaters tonight but she could never be too cautious. If only James had remembered to buy the bags of sweets earlier then she would not have had to make the journey tonight.
Lily was strolling down her narrow street, peeking off the sidewalk to watch as her house came in to view. The autumn leaves were gone and the bare trees stood testament to the harsh winters of Great Britain. A faint trace of smoke and burning materials caught her nose and Lily's heart rate accelerated when she noticed a small plume of ash rising. She dropped the bags and ran the rest of the way to her house.
The front gate was torn off its hinges. Lily did not stop to look when she saw a large portion of the second floor missing. Harry's bedroom was exposed to the elements and she could distinctly hear the baby screaming. Lily flew through the open entrance, the front door blown to pieces, sprinting through the hallway to take the stairs two at a time until she reached the landing.
The house was a disaster, it looked as if a tornado had come through, tables turned over with books and knickknacks strewn about on the floors. Lily rounded the corner and jumped over remainder of Harry's bedroom door as she stood still in the entry.
Harry was standing up, wailing in his crib, one hand next to his mouth, drool dripping down his fingers. On the floor was James, cold and lifeless as his blank eyes remained fixed straight ahead. Lily fell to her knees, sobs wracking her body as she crawled to her dead husband. She pulled his corpse onto her heaving lap and bent down to cry into his still warm clothing.
In the minutes it had taken her to walk to the store and back, Voldemort had vandalized their home with death and despair. Lily continued to sob into James' chest, her numb fingers moving to brush a lock of messy black hair off his forehead. He had given his life to save Harry. And Harry had somehow destroyed the evil essence that was the Dark Lord. His cries became louder as his mother lay across the body of his dead father and Harry wailed for the comfort that he needed.
Lily turned her red head and looked to Harry, still clutching James she silently met her son's gaze and he quieted. A loud, grief filled moan moved through her chest and shook her body as Lily realized the implications of what had happened.
Her husband was dead and their house was ruined. She may not have loved him as much as she should have, but Lily needed James and now, she would be alone for the rest of her life, raising Harry by herself.
A salty tear dropped from her green eyes and splashed gently on James' cheek, falling off the curve of his cheekbone to run down his chin. Lily lovingly wiped the small trace of water from his skin and smiled sadly for the years they would never have together, the memories they would never create. With the grace and care of a loving mother Lily laid James back down on the rubble laden floor and straightened his clothes, brushing off dust and debris.
With one last regretful sob Lily turned on her knees and picked herself up to stand in front of Harry's crib. He stood bracing the wooden railing, his fingers tucked securely in his mouth, quietly watching Lily as she whipped the tears from her heated cheeks and tried to smile for her son. She reached out and picked Harry up, pulling the infant close to her chest and wrapping her arms around his small body as Lily began rocking back and forth, cooing softly to calm the baby and herself.
Harry laid his little head on her shoulder and gazed out into the darkened night sky that was now very visible from his vantage point. When Lily began softly singing a lullaby, Harry yawned with a small mewl and closed his bright green eyes to sigh contentedly. She felt his slowed breathing, knowing he had fallen into a light sleep, and Lily crept to the slightly damaged rocking chair in the nearest corner. She sat down and readjusted her arms to hold Harry better as she gently pushed her foot off the ground and began rocking.
The minutes ran together and Lily did not know how long she had been sitting there, clutching Harry to her chest in an effort to erase the sight of James' lifeless body, when she heard the soft pop of an Apparation then the rumbling outside as someone clamored through the broken house. She did not think to realize that this person could be dangerous, could want to kill her and Harry. Lily numbly pressed her foot back and forth to rock the chair as the footsteps came up the stairs and grew louder as they approached the dilapidated nursery. Lily did not look up when a set of swishing black robes entered her peripheral vision, nor did she break her stare when the person did not move forward but held still in the doorway.
Severus Snape caught his breath as he thanked the gods when he saw Lily alive. She was very obviously in shock and he was not surprised that she took no notice of his presence. It had been so many years since he had last seen his flame haired love that Severus forgot how elegantly beautiful she was. Lily had changed too. Her hair was slightly darker now, curls bouncing around her shoulders instead of straighter locks as she spent all of her time caring for Harry now. She appeared more natural, more at ease with herself as she coddled her child.
"Lily." Severus said breathlessly, his greasy black hair swinging across his shoulders as he took a step forward then pulled back to stay in the doorway. She did not appear to hear him, still blankly staring at an invisible spot on James' navy sweater.
"Lily." He said once more, strengthening his voice to deepen the tone as the word traveled across the room.
She jerked from her trance and startled at the sight of Severus. Lily looked at his concerned yet relieved face and his long fingers bracing the door frame as he held his body in the entry. She noticed the wrinkles running over his oily forehead and the small lines around his mouth. His black eyebrows were raised in question, his lips slightly agape as he waited for her response.
Dropping her shoulders and releasing the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, Lily whispered, "Severus," with breathy hesitation.
The corners of his black eyes turned up in relief as Severus timidly stepped into the room. Had he known that Voldemort was going to attack her home tonight, Severus would have rushed to pull Lily from her house before anything could have happened.
But the thought lingered that Voldemort had intentionally waited for Lily to leave, giving his loyal servant a misguided gift in the action of killing James Potter.
Now that he was here though, gazing at the beautiful, still very much alive, face of Lily, Severus could not say that he was disappointed to see that James had sacrificed his life for their son. If there had been any way that he would have had the situation turn out, Severus was extremely glad it involved Lily being absent at the time of the Dark Lord's arrival. There was no doubt in his mind that Lily would have gladly given herself up for any chance that Harry would survive.
But now, looking at her distraught face, smears of black mascara circling her eyes, Severus knew any pain he had wished on James was being felt by Lily tenfold. He walked to her, their gazes never breaking as she continued to rock Harry. The baby was asleep but Lily held him tight as Severus stopped in front of her and crouched forward, extending his arms to take Harry from her. Lily objected and shook her head, flaming hair licking the baby's soft curls and brushing her shoulders. Severus nodded his head and once more reached for Harry.
"Give him here, Lily. I'll put him in his crib."
Tears welled up in her green eyes and Lily hugged Harry once more before loosening her grip and gently lifting him to Severus' waiting arms. He grabbed the child, supporting his small head in one hand, his seemingly smaller body curled in the other.
Severus looked down on the child of James and Lily Potter. Already he resembled his father, with a tan complexion and curly black hair astray revealing a very bright red lightning bolt scar. Severus sneered at the baby but moved him to the crook of his left arm, held against his body, as he reached a spidery hand up to trace the fresh scar on his forehead. He stared in wonder, realizing this marking signified the death of the Dark Lord. His forearm under the child was bare, the Dark Mark magically erased with the dissolution of its creator.
Maybe this was a miracle. Maybe this was a sign from a greater power, someone giving him a second chance for what could have been.
The child was no matter. Harry was young enough that Severus could work the memory of his father from his mind, fostering a patronal pride for the boy. Severus would raise Harry as his own, already he felt familiarity for the child when he was gazing into his strikingly familiar green eyes. Moving to place the sleeping babe in his crib, Severus looked on Harry once more, both their futures held in his hands. With great care Severus laid Harry on the blue pillows and covered him with a soft white blanket. He smoothed down a tuft of black hair and Severus smiled to himself as he stroked the child's baby soft cheek before turning around to face Lily.
She was slumped forward in the rocking chair, auburn hair spilling around her face as she held her head in her hands. Severus could hear her soft weeping and noticed small circles on her jeans where the tears had fallen. He moved to kneel in front of her as he gently pried her hands away to hold them in his own. Lily met his stare with puffy eyes and a tear stained face but Severus thought she had never looked more beautiful. He held her shaking hands on her knees and squeezed a few times to grab her attention. Her eyes kept straying to James' body just behind Severus and she would groan in sadness each time her gaze found her dead husband.
"Lily. Look at me." Severus said slowly. "Just, look at me."
This time her gaze was blank and Severus felt his heart drop at Lily's grief. He brushed a lonesome lock of flames off her cheek before reaching around to grip the back of her neck. His thumb rubbed circles in the soft spot just behind her ear and Lily closed her eyes as Severus slowly massaged her aching neck.
"Lily, we have to leave. Someone is sure to show up soon. We can't be found yet; I know plenty of Death Eaters that will be more than willing to hunt and kill for their decrepit master. We must leave."
Too many thoughts swam in Lily's head, she felt like she was going to explode from the recent horrific events that were threatening to break her, spirit and soul. Even Severus' touch on her neck did not register as her head spiraled away from reality. Sighing heavily Lily forced her eyes apart, Severus forcing her face to look at him.
"Lily. We have to leave."
She continued to stare ahead, not completely seeing as Severus jostled her neck, pulling her forward off the cushioned seat. Her legs splayed awkwardly and Lily seemed to regain her senses when her knees hit the ground on either side of Severus' folded legs.
"Severus?" Lily said slowly with surprised recognition. He was apparently the last person she thought would come to the rescue in her time of need.
He held her arms together, her wrists held in one hand as Severus' right arm snaked around her back to hold Lily upright. Severus pulled her forward further to press against his chest, her face held against his black robes as he released her arms to stroke her hair. Lily let him hold her as Severus shushed her when she attempted to squirm free. Sobs tore through her once more and Severus held Lily tighter as she gripped at the front of his cloak.
"Come on Lily. We have to get out of here."
Lily pulled back from Severus' hold and met his black eyes with curiosity. "Why? Who are you afraid is going to show up to my destroyed house?"
Severus sighed with heavy regret. There was only so much he could tell her without putting her in jeopardy.
"I don't know." Severus admitted. "That's why we must go. I do not wish to lose any more of you tonight."
Mystery being the best opponent, Lily relented and leaned back to unfurl her legs to stand up. Severus hurriedly moved his awkwardly long legs to stand, stopping when he was bent at the waist to offer a hand of assistance to Lily. She placed her smaller, freckled hand in his and let his strength pull her to her full height. Lily looked away and blushed when Severus did not release her hand but squeezed twice to reassure her of his presence.
A sobering chill trickled across her spine when a forgotten foot came into view and Lily dropped Severus' hand to turn away from the sight of James' body lying on the floor. Harry was still sound asleep in his crib and Lily smiled naturally as she approached his sleeping figure, curled on his stomach with a thumb in his mouth. She stood watching him, Severus waiting behind her forgotten as she looked upon Harry.
"We weren't happy. James and I." Lily said after a moment. Severus thought she was talking more to herself than to him but he did not mind listening when she was finally ready to talk. "He had not changed a day since we left Hogwarts. And all I kept thinking all these years, every time I saw James look at me with a sickeningly goofy smile and every time I felt Harry kick in my stomach, I thought, what would have happened if Severus and I had been together at Hogwarts. Would it all be different now?" Lily sighed, remorseful longing licking at her words. "But now James is dead and all I have is Harry. I can't say I loved him . . . properly, but he was my husband and I owe him that respect."
Severus was surprised that Lily had forgiven him for his past indiscretions, he never would have guessed so from her outward appearance. She too wondered what might have happened. Severus felt the strangest emotion well up and try to suffocate him. It gripped at his nerves and sent an anxious chill up his body.
Hope.
It may not be now, it may not be tomorrow, but Severus was going to get Lily back. He would win her heart once and for all and no other man would be able to stake a claim on his flame haired witch.
Lily turned her head to look at Severus, her hands holding fast to the bars of the crib causing her knuckles to turn white. She met his gaze with reassurance and it took all he had to not run to her and hug her fiercely.
Instead Severus took a step forward, clasping his hands behind his back then thought better of it and placed one hand on her shoulder.
"Oh Lily." Severus breathed. "My sweet Lily."
She refused to look away and silently turned in the close space to face the raven haired man. His hands remained grasping her shoulder and Lily took one hand up to hold his fingers. Severus did not know what to do: Lily was offering herself to him after all these years but he knew it would be regrettable because she was doing it out of grief. He did not smile, he did not make any facial movement as he turned his hand palm up to lace their fingers, moving their hands between their bodies.
"Lily we must leave." Severus said, wishing instead that he could profess his undying love for her and sweep her off her feet to her crumbling bedroom.
Her green eyes searched his for any trace of emotion but all she saw was hardness behind Severus' black eyes. She nodded slowly and dropped his hand, both their palms draftily cold as their combined warmth dissolved. Lily took a step to the side and turned to face Harry's crib once more. She did not hear Severus move to stand by the door and watch her as she bent down to pick up the sleeping baby. His dark head fell to her collar bone and a small arm wrapped around her shoulder as Harry lightly grasped Lily's neck. She smoothed down his wrinkled clothes and threw a small blanket over his body to keep him warm.
Lily moved to the corner of the room where several pre-packed bags were piled. With shaking hands she lifted a large diaper bag from the lot and placed it over one shoulder. She reached down to grab another suitcase and nearly dropped Harry in her unbalance. Severus rushed over and placed a steadying hand on her arm, bending to grab the troublesome bag and shrink it with a flourish of his wand. He motioned for Lily to turn and he pulled the diaper bag from her opposite arm and shrunk it as well. Both tiny bags in his palm, Severus lifted them for Lily to see before opening an outer pocket of her robe and dropping them inside.
The pair nodded and smiled grimly to each other before Severus turned and walked towards the door, Lily falling in line behind him as she readjusted Harry on her hip. He lead her through the house and down the stairs, stepping over debris and magically moving aside the larger pieces for Lily to pass. They walked outside onto the front lawn and with one fluid motion both Lily and Severus turned back to look at the house. Lily sighed, a saddened groan escaping as the reality of their departure set in. Severus glanced to the red headed witch beside him and sighed in longing for what he hoped, could now be.
There was no use trying to repair any of the damage that was already done but Lily raised her wand anyways to levitate the door back together then attached to the frame. With a final nod, Lily stowed her wand within her robes and turned to face the gates, Severus moving with her as they walked off the property. He had turned back to swing the metal gate shut when they a heard the soft pop of Apparation. Lily jerked her head to look at Severus, her eyes wide with sudden panic.
Severus drew his lips thin and motioned for silence. He placed an arm in front of Lily and pushed her behind him as they pressed into the large hedges surrounding the lawn. Severus thought fast and with his wand still in his robes, he whispered the incantation to conceal their presence. Lily felt a slight tingle as the invisible shield morphed around them but said nothing as a shadowy figure was approaching to their left.
The bright robes of Albus Dumbledore became visible and Lily jumped forward to greet the wizard but Severus held her back and furiously shook his head. Her eyebrows furrowed together and Lily gave Severus a questioning look but he just shook his head and mouthed 'no'. Lily pursed her lips but complied, remaining still as Dumbledore stopped in front of the nearby gates and gazed at the destroyed house with his hands behind his back. She snorted with indignation and the wizened old man turned his head to peer at their vicinity with interest. His blue eyes twinkled and the corners of lips twitched before Dumbledore moved to push open the wrought iron gates and walk towards the house.
Severus removed his arms and stepped forward as he peered at their surroundings closer. It was only a moment before he reached back to grab Lily's arm and turned to face her as he readied to Apparate. Lily looked up and Severus saw slight fear in her sparkling green eyes. Severus' lips formed a sad smile as his free hand came up to stroke her cheek affectionately. He held her head in his hand, his fingers working into her silken red strands, and met her gaze with determination.
"I promise, Lily, that you'll be safe now. No matter what it takes, nothing will happen to you." Severus stroked the soft skin of neck before lowering himself to touch his forehead against Lily's. Harry jostled between their bodies but Lily gently rubbed the baby's back as she intimately looked into Severus' black eyes.
Tears came to her eyes as Lily nodded her head in agreement. She smiled nervously and dropped her gaze as Severus nodded too and placed a soft kiss to her forehead. Severus moved his arm to wrap around Lily's waist, squeezing her hip as she gripped Harry. Severus removed his wand and mentally stated the charm to Apparate them away. With a small twirl and a barely audible pop, the leaves whirled on the pavement and the pair was gone.
Gazing out a second floor window, Albus Dumbledore grinned to himself as Severus and Lily disappeared into the night. It had been a long time coming but the young witch and wizard would finally get their chance at the love of a lifetime. Nodding in confirmation to himself, Albus turned and grimly stared at the body of James Potter. He would not be the last casualty of the Dark Lord but with the proper upbringing and training, James Potter's death would be the most significant. Harry Potter would grow to one day destroy Voldemort, should he magically return. And with the loving parents of Severus and Lily, the wizarding world was sure to be just fine.
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A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! This was written somewhat fast but I still feel it properly conveys the thoughts and ideas I wanted to portray for the recognition of Severus and Lily's love. Please review, those damn things make me so happy and every author knows how uplifting a good review can be for anyone's bad day.