Three-Way Cocktail
I am weary. It is uncomfortable, to know that something as simple as the return from an Away Mission with Commander Chakotay and the Captain could put us such close quarters, so to speak: a simple Transporter malfunction, much like the one that created Tuvik in many ways, yet still different, has thrown us together in a body where we must live as one until we can become individuals again, three people and personalitites in one body.
They call us Setaryn. We are tall and strong, but gentle at the same time, with Chakotay's tattoo and my Borg implants. Our hair is long and a black-streaked auburn-red colour, our eyes are a dark, crystal-ice white-blue.
I can hear Chakotay's thoughts, and he can hear mine, but the Captain hides from us. Her emotions are the deep undercurrent, buried, but there once you pull them from their grave beneath mine and Chakotay's. I feel weary, and confused. Chakotay is the peace, and love. The Captain . . . she is harder to read, but those on the surface are much like mine, with hurt, distress, fear, worry and betrayal buried deep beneath them.
We spend much of our time on the Holodeck in the Captain's Lake George program. She hides from us, so we try to keep her happy. We are among the few that know what happened last time she retreated from us and the rest of the crew, so we try to make her happy, but she only talks with us at night, when her dreams haunt ours, and she wakes us with a scream.
The Doctor works with Tuvok to find away to seperate us into individuals again. After a few days, they have a result. We are called to Transporter Room 1, and told to step onto the Transporter Pad, waiting as Tuvok taps at the console and energizes.
We stand on the planet where we became joined, individuals again. There is movement behind a rock ahead, and a small man with a primitive handgun slips into view. He points the handgun at me, but the Captain steps between us as he fires, and she falls with a piercing scream, her skin paling as blood pours from the wound in her stomach.
We cluster around her as the Transporter Beam takes hold of us and beams us back to Voyager as another primitive bullet barely misses my head. The Doctor almost jumps over the console as we materialise back in the Transporter Room, shocked by the blood pouring from the Captain's stomach and the pale colouring of her skin.
"Beam us to Sickbay!" he yells at Tuvok, and we disappear into the Transporter Beam again. As Sickbay materialises, Chakotay places the Captain on a biobed as the Doctor clatters around, scanning her and collecting instruments. I stand inside the Doctor's office with Chakotay, watching as the Doctor operates on the Captain.
After almost an hour of surgery, the Doctor puts down his surgical instruments and picks up a tricorder. He scans the Captain as we walk up behind him and connects her to the monitor in the wall above her head so he can monitor her form elsewhere.
"How is she, Doctor?" Chakotay asks. The hologram turns.
"She's weak, and she's lost a lot of blood, but she will be fine in a few days and home in her own quarters by the end of week, coffee and all," I have to smile, my heart lifting with relief, yet my head is still clouded with confusion. I should be the one on the biobed, the bullet was meant for me, yet the Captain saved my life.
I remember all the hurt and the pain that I felt from the Captain when we were Setaryn, and I start to understand why she had saved my life: she knew that I was dating the one that she loved, even if she feared and tried to deny those feelings. She had seen us try to be happy together, and seen it as reality, and by saving my life, she was giving us a chance to continue with the false pretence of happiness we had displayed to the crew. She had sacrificed herself to save a lie, and it was my fault, because in my exploration to become more human, Chakotay had offered to help me, and had hurt the one that he cared the most about.
It was all my fault.
I looked up at Chakotay. He's staring sorrowfully at her, trying not to weep. After five days inside his mind, I know that it's killing him to see her like this. The guilt starts to build up inside me. I slip back into the office and watch Chakotay through the windows. He sits on the edge of the biobed, the Captain's hand in his. She's barely conscious, and he's talking softly to her. She's struggling to breathe, and manages to say a few words to him when he pauses, close to tears.
I don't know what she says to him, I'm comforted just by the knowledge that she'll live to allow them their privacy to discuss their problems and have another chance at love together. After all, if anyone deserves another chance at love, it is Voyager's Command Team – they were a match made in heaven, many of the crew might say.