AN: This is a post S1 AU. Clearly I'm rusty.

Late Night Cravings

Kate Beckett cursed as the heel of one of her favorite shoes fell into a muddy puddle in the streets of Manhattan. As if she wasn't having a lousy enough day to begin with. But she had no time to grump and groan over it, for she was in a rush. She was a woman on one of several missions of the day, hopefully this one being the last. Remy's was going to close any minute now. She hadn't even the time to call ahead. Unfortunately, such was the chaos at the twelfth precinct.

There was red tape, loads of paperwork, a bit of dumpster diving, and a little bit of frustrated waiting. But there were also suspects galore, dramatic relatives, irritating witnesses, shady characters and even a couple of red herrings. Castle would have – no. No Castle. No thoughts about him were to be entertained, unless they were disgruntled and irritated ones like the kind she allowed on occasion. Even those, Kate tried to block out.

He'd done the one thing she asked him not to do. It wasn't even as if he didn't know why. She explained to him! Explained to him that anything to do with her mother's case sent her spiraling down the rabbit hole. He pretended to care. He pretended to understand. And then he had the gall to be hurt when she told him it was over between them. Not that there was a "them". Or well, not that kind of "them", but the – the arrangement they had. Over.

She huffed as she rounded the corner, chastising herself mentally for thinking about him after all. Finally pausing outside her destination, she puffed out a breath of air, willing any thoughts of him to get out of her system as well, and with a long blink, finally opened the doors to get her late night snack. Close out the day on a positive note with a burger and a strawberry milkshake.

"Seriously? You have an order waiting right there."

"Ah, sorry detective. This is just waiting to be picked up. We closed the kitchen twenty minutes ago," Liz replied apologetically.

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose, counted to three, and then felt guilty about being snappy to Liz. "No, Liz, I'm sorry. I understand. Just not my day, I guess," she said, mustering up a small smile.

"It's alright. Hey, how about this, your next shake is on the house," Liz said, offering one of her favorite regulars a concession.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, but thanks!"

"It's no problem," she smiled, turning to the door behind Kate, which rang with a small ding. "Finally! Oh, I didn't realize this was for you," Liz said, her smile widening with the slightest tinge of pink appearing on her cheeks. "I'd just have given these to detective Beckett in the first place."

Kate was confused only for the fraction of a moment it took to turn around.

Castle.

Castle stood awkwardly in front of Beckett, staring at her a little bit gobsmacked, a lot bit sucker-punched.

Poor Liz was definitely blind to the elephant in the room. "Mr. Castle, it's been a while. Been even longer since I saw the two of you together!"

Kate heard what she said, but wasn't quite computing it. That and she also had the case of the statues.

"Uh. Your food's getting cold, and – I need to close up."

"What?" Castle's head snapped towards her, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks Liz," he said, putting some cash in the tip jar by the counter. "Kate," he breathed out, turning back to her as he grabbed the crinkling paper bag of their favorite take out.

A minute ago, it made her mouth water. Now she wasn't sure she could swallow for the dryness in her throat. She brushed past him without a word, finally able to look away, and began a quick stride to get away from there. To get away from him.

But just as usual, he was relentless in his pursuit of her. With practiced ease he caught up and grasped her elbow.

"Beckett, just stop, will you?"

She realized belatedly that he'd used her first name inside Remy's. It wasn't their norm, and yet, it sounded like he'd been saying it for a lifetime.

"Let go, Castle." Her voice was as neutral as she could manage.

Of course, the gritted teeth probably didn't help with that. Nor the closing fists by her side. Nor the fact that she didn't turn to look at him.

"I've got two."

His comment threw her enough to turn to him, brow furrowed.

"What?"

He held up the paper bag, shaking it a little in front of her. "I've got two burgers, two fries. Just the one milkshake, but it's strawberry. We could share?" He blabbered out.

She blinked at him, for lack of a more appropriate immediate response. Was he out of his gourd? Did he not realize how much she hated him? How much he'd hurt her, because she didn't hate him at all?

In a bid to entice her, he pulled out one of the burgers from his bag and waved it right in front of her face.

Heavenly as the smell was, she quickly nabbed his wrist and proceeded to glare at him. "Why would I want to –"

Castle, seizing the window of opportunity, interrupted her. "Because it's late. Other decent places are probably closed. I have enough to share."

Kate opened her mouth to respond, but he wouldn't let her.

"Because your glove is torn, one of your shoes is drenched in questionable goop, there's a bruise on your left cheek, your hand drifts to your side like it's hurt and you can't help it –"

Kate self-consciously straightened up at that, and only then remembered to release his wrist she still had a hold of. Damn his stupidly observant self.

"Because it's been two months, two very long months, and I miss you, and I'm sorry," he blurted out in a single breath.

She tried to appear unaffected, yet she couldn't help but meet his eyes. Couldn't help that she was Looking for - what? The truth? Trust she'd lost? Hope, maybe.

Castle drew a deep breath and sighed softly before continuing. "I'm sorry. What I did was wrong. I violated your trust. I opened old wounds and I did not respect your wishes. And if we're not going to see each other again, then you deserve to know, I'm very, very sorry.

He took the following silence for defeat, and drew the food back, close to his body as he turned away from her and found a bench to sit on. He really was sorry. There was a weight on his chest ever since he'd confessed to her two months ago. It didn't feel any lighter for apologizing to her now, but he supposed that at least he'd tried. All he wanted to do was help her. Take care of her. She could take care of herself. But he wanted to be there for her anyway. Then and now. He wondered absently if she'd still be in this state if he'd been around. He'd at least have stepped in front of the punch that gave her the bruise. Surely.

Silently shaking his head at his useless thoughts, he reached back into the bag and brought out a burger. Just as he was about to undo the wrapping, a different fragrance wafted up to his nose. He turned his head, and sure enough, she was lowering herself down next to him on the bench.

Castle held every muscle in his body as still as he could. He especially tried to leash in any sense of hope that was itching to burst through his chest. But then she went and put out her hand in front of him. He tried not to smile. He really did, just as he tried not to stare. He failed at both. Quietly handing her the burger, watching as her fingers closed around it. She still hadn't said a word, and he wasn't going to break the silence. For once he felt like he'd said enough. He put the bag in between them, and watched as she reached out for the strawberry milkshake.

They ate together in silence. Reaching out for the fries, with no awkward hand clashing, knowing just when to share the shake even without looking. When they were finally done, and crumpling up the waste to gather into the paper bag, she finally spoke, her voice quiet, just like the night. Quietly puzzled, just like his feelings. "You got strawberry."

"I did."

"You always order chocolate."

Castle couldn't help but be heartwarmed. That she noticed then, or that she noticed now. The corners of his lips twitched as he shrugged. "I missed stealing from you."

Neither the blooming darkness nor the curtain of hair brought down by the subtle tilt of her head could hide the blush alighting her cheeks.

He couldn't look a way. Couldn't stand to miss another minute of it.

She stood up wordlessly with the bag in her hand, walked three feet to the bin to toss it away, and then turned in the direction he knew she'd walk the rest of her way home.

He stood too, the glow and sunshiny feelings quickly dissipating along with their moment. It took all the effort not to reach out for her. Not to walk those few steps, stand behind her, and draw her into his embrace. Not to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness until she caved. To breathe against what felt like the weight of the world, of lost hope, crush his heart. He stood looking at the sky, asking for help from a divine being, or guidance from a cruel universe, until he heard her voice float to him. His head snapped towards her.

She turned to him, looking for all the world like she hadn't just held his heart in her hands. "Castle? I'll see you tomorrow." Kate turned around again – not before he caught the shy little smile - and walked with her hands in her coat pocket, without awaiting an answer.

For the first time in a long time, he felt light. He thanked his little craving for burgers and a milkshake – it had to be strawberry. Breathing in biting cool Manhattan air, Rick Castle stuffed his hands in his pockets, and walked home, whistling to himself.

It hadn't been a question. He knew he'd be at the precinct the next day, just as she did. There would be a tomorrow for them.