Authors Note: What happens when somebody eats two boxes of chocolate, goes on a sugar high, and listens to one song for 15 times? Well that someone starts to make delusional connections and writes a fic.
Summary: One Shot, Marauders era; It's sixth year and four certain Marauders are just about to leave for Christmas vocation, well they wont leave without a bang or at least a pre-Christmas prank.
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. Do I look like J.K. Rowling? If I do I should be very disturbed since I turned 13 this April.
Mr. Snape
It was December 23 and tomorrow all students were going home to spend time with their dear families.
Every student was excited that morning but four sixth year students were excited for a whole different reason. You see those four students like most were going home to their families, but unlike the other students those select four couldn't quite handle not being able to pull any pranks on one extremely hygienically challenged, and a few other select students.
So since the though of nobody being able to torment, prank, or in any way make fun of said students for at least two weeks they have decided to leave for Christmas vocation with a bang.
For that exact reason James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and llast and certainly least Peter Pettigrew other wise known as the Marauders, spent over five hours the previous night planning a prank that would do just that.
As it was breakfast time now and the great hall was almost completely filled the four Marauders began counting down for their prank.
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
Finally the Great Hall filled with loud music and suddenly Dumbledore leaped on the Head Table and started singing.
You're a mean one, Mr. Snape.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Snape.
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.
(The part in bold italic is being said by the same person who sang the fists part)
Just as suddenly Minerva McGonagall leaped on the table and continued where the headmaster (who was still remaining on the table by the way) left of.
You're a monster, Mr. Snape.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Snape.
I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole
As she finished the part Filius Flitwick jumped on the table and continues the song in a deathly squeaky voice.
You're a vile one, Mr. Snape.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Snape.
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.
All the while the song was being sung the students were slowly realizing what was going on and finally bursed out laughing.
The Marauders however knew what was going on the entire time having set up the prank, where laughing so their faces had all turned different shades of red and had tears from laughing. Sirius and James were even rolling on the floor laughing, Peter soon joining them moment later. Remus having the most self-control out of the four was still in his seat though anyone could see he was having trouble with it, but had still refused to join his friends on the floor, preferring to keep some of his dignity.
Professor Spout was now singing,
You're a foul one, Mr. Snape.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Snape.
The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
Slughorn was the next to jump on the table and is he did the table gave a bit of a dangerous squeak though nothing happened to it.
You're a rotter, Mr. Snape. Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Snape.
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.
The final stage of the prank was now coming so the entire hall could suddenly see Severus Snape turning bright green and growing fur, his Hogwarts robe meanwhile was turning into a Santa suit.
In the meantime Remus couldn't take his laughter anymore and began banging his head hard on the Gryffindor table.
While that was happening all the teachers and the headmaster were all signing at the same time.
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch. You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.
Finally the song ended and Severus Snape pulling his Santa hat over his still green face rushed out of the Great Hall.
Authors Note 2: Please Review! I need feedback for future stories and besides I was planning on writing another chapter just to answer the reviews. Please! -Author makes puppy eyes- Anything?
Oh and by the way I just want to state for the record that I have absolutely nothing against Severus Snape, he's actually one of my favorite characters.
XOXO