Title: I'll be home for Christmas
Story type: One-shot, Song fic...
Summary: Yami has gone into the afterlife…but does he plan to stay there? Just a little Christmas wish for a teenager in domino and his beloved other half. Part song-fic, part one-shot, part-angst and part-fluff.
Warning: YamiXYugi -- Light
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I'm dreamin' tonight of a place I love
Even more then I usually do…
A transparent figure watched the scene before him sadly, a small bittersweet smile on his face. The glow of lights, hearts, human kindness, and childish joy had spread across the world, making this time of year the brightest and warmest, though it be the darkest and coldest.
And cold it was, certainly. A thick, broad blanket of the purest pristine white powder had wrapped the world its beautiful arms, settled in the still-green hair of every fur-tree and tickled the nose of every child. Christmas time was here again, at last.
'Aibou…you love this time of year, don't you?' He mused with a small sigh, and his breath would have been as visible as it could be, if it could have been warm. But not so, not for a spirit. He was painfully reminded of his existence or perhaps, lack thereof.
A single tear slid down his ghostly cheek, but it was ignored. After all, there was a reason he had come here, and it was far more important than one's own personal problems, was it not? Yes. It was much more important. He peered through the crowds, knowing that even in this huge mass, he would find exactly what…or really, who he was looking for.
'Found you…' He thought with a small smile on his face. He approached the all too familiar figure quietly, though he needn't have bothered to be cautious. Naturally his footsteps were inaudible, even to him.
A small bundled-up form stood looking in a window display, cheeks slightly red but only from the chilled, slapping winds, bangs slightly wet and limp from the new fallen snow, breath a cloud of white, and his bright violet eyes were unusually dark. 'Hello, aibou…'
And although I know it's a long
road back
I promise you…
Yugi sighed softly, though the massing crowd around him did not hear. He felt invisible and very much so, in the loud rejoicing crowd and the mass of friends and family who greeted, hugged, laughed, and loved. His heart ached dully as he looked in the window display.
Arrayed with beautiful lights and Christmas celebrating decorations lay jewelry glittering in the window, cheerily inviting anyone who still had to get a gift to hurry before time ran out, even if it was Christmas eve. The store would be shut soon, of course, but still...
His eyes lingered on two silver wedding bands, but the thoughts that were running through his mind were dismissed, just like the others…but everything around him remained a reminder of his heart's grief.
At a game shop he saw something his beloved had once wanted, but of course…it meant nothing now. There were even posters from the last tournament they'd been in. But the proud image wasn't of the violet eyed teen…no…it was of him.
Finally, Yugi looked away, no longer able to bear it. He turned to leave, but for a minute, the wind chilled even further as he stepped through…something. He did not know what, but somehow 'it' hurt, yet not in the physical sense.
In that brief amount of time, a strange pained longing went through him that he would have believed was not his own, if he had not been feeling the exact same thing.
Yugi walked along the sidewalks, eyes to the slush-covering ground, completely unaware of the companion which stood and walked by his side, only inches from him. 'Loneliness is often worst when one is anything but alone.' It was a quote he recalled though he was not sure where he heard it.
Yes, he felt alone. Millions of people crowding around him and the more of them he saw, the more loneliness he felt. Desperately he wished not to see anymore lovers or friends celebrating this beloved time of year. He wrapped his arms around his chilled body, even if it couldn't warm the cold, empty feeling of his heart. "Yami…"
I'll be home for Christmas…
You can count on me…
The spirit wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the boy and tell him that he was here. That his aibou didn't need to cry. That he didn't need to feel alone. Yami could only stare longingly—could only listen in sorrow as Yugi whispered his name. "I'm here, aibou. If only you could see…" He sigh and shook his head. 'But spirits weren't meant to be seen or heard.'
Yami wished his aibou knew how close they really were at this time of year. It was, after all, the season for miracles. His spirit was allowed to return from the world beyond due to the strong bond that still existed between him and Yugi…
But even though their bond was as strong as any bond could be, it was not enough for Yugi to even know he was there. He could not hear, or see, or feel…perhaps he could sense him, though. He could saw that Yugi just seemed to know…deep, deep down…that someone was watching over him.
It was so far from enough, though. However, it was all he had. Only a wish, a prayer, and a glimpse into his partner's life…
So he walked, side-by-side with the boy he cared for more than his life…
At least…if only for now…he was home. 'Even I'm not here physically, my aibou, I am here. Even if I cannot even touch you, I am here. If only you knew that.'
As they walked home in silence, (even though Yami was really floating, rather than walking, though he really tried to keep his transparent feet on the ground,) each teen heaved a heavy sigh from a heavy heart.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree
As they reached the game shop, Yugi threw open the door and quickly shut it, blocking out the cold air. Yami, however, floated through it, almost grateful for intangibility. Yugi called to his grandfather, to tell him that he was home and then set to helping him put up the last of the decorations, as he'd promised earlier.
Yugi placed the last of the bright silver trimming and golden ornaments in the shops window, along with a few special Christmas Style DM and DMG plushies, complete with candy cane wands and Santa hats shaped like their original hood-ware.
The tiny teen managed a small, amused smile at his favorite monster looking so festive. But then, BEWD had reindeer antlers and a bell collar. Yugi imagined the look on Kaiba's face when he learned about that.
Mokuba would probably love it, though. And then the CEO would have to give in, as usual, to the loss of dignity…it was, after all, how the world worked. Yugi paused in decorating to wonder what Yami would have said to that and his smile faded. It didn't matter, now did it? Yami wasn't there to say anything.
Yugi shook himself and tried to push the thoughts from his mind and the tears from his eyes. They had to finish the decorations, after all. After an hour and a half or so, since he wasn't exactly sure—he finished putting up the wreathes and bows. The window display was perfect, there was a jar of free mints on the counter…
Now all that was left was a little scattering of tinsel, hanging up the stockings, decorating the tree, and…putting up the mistletoe. It wasn't a normal part of their traditions, but his grandfather had bought some, all the same.
When Yugi had asked him about it, his grandfather just smiled and said that it was just for fun…and then jokingly said that Yugi could attempt to try it out, if he was so very interested…
But…even though Yugi pretended to be indignant and embarrassed about the comment, it really only made him sad. As did the memory while he hung up the little sprigs.
When it came down to it, there was only one person who Yugi wanted to catch under the mistletoe…and that was his beautiful darkness, his Yami. But it was never to be. He did smile though, just a little, as he imagined Yami's puzzled expression upon hearing about the tradition of people being forced to kiss under a fungus. He chuckled softly, even though tears threatened to fall.
How his heart wrenched at the thought of Yami finally rolling his eyes, telling his aibou for the thousandth time that his time was very strange and then giving in.
As the fantasy turned to Yami leaning down to him and their lips pressing together, it shattered. 'No, that couldn't ever happen…' Yugi thought, smiling bitterly to himself. 'Head out of the clouds, Yugi. Or the gutter. Yami never cared about you that way.'
And as a very small afterthought, though Yugi knew it wasn't true, he added 'maybe if he did, he'd still be here with you.' But no, Yami needed to leave, regardless of whatever he felt.
It was merely another fantasy in his deepest dreams, that on the day when his darkness had been separated from him, his other would have turned away from that doorway, from his freedom and memories, and turned to him.
He dreamed that Yami would declare he could not leave because his heart belonged here with the one he loved. He would admit to all that he loved his aibou and needed nothing else but be with him. Without embarrassment or hesitation, they would embrace and kiss, then promise to each other eternity.
As ridiculous as it might have seemed, as far from reality as it was, Yugi couldn't stop his dreams—not that he really wanted to, as they were the closest thing he would ever have.
After all, wasn't everyone who celebrated this time of year now thinking of friends, family, and loved ones? It –was- a time for memories.
So, of course, Yugi could see his darkness in everything…
He could imagine Yami covered in icing or flour and wrinkling his nose, then telling him how he had forgotten to mention how 'dangerous it was' baking Christmas cookies. He'd laugh and his Yami would pout, then he'd help Yami get cleaned up and promise to help him this time. Yami might comment on how the gingerbread men did not attack Yugi and the tubes of frosting were suspiciously well behaved for his lighter half.
Yugi'd be giggling the whole time and then they'd decorate their cookies, and Yugi knew that he'd have to make at least one "Yami cookie" (with lots of black icing for leather, of course,) and Yami might make a "Yugi cookie." (Lots of purple icing for that one…) Then Yami would probably complain about Yugi 'biting his head off,' and Yugi would roll his eyes, but eventually, they'd settle on the couch with their arms around each other and watch the lights on their beautiful tree sparkle.
Christmas Eve will find me,
Where the love light
beams…
As for Yugi, even though he was watching the lights, it wasn't them he saw…not in his mind or in his heart. 'Yami…if only you could hear me…if only you knew how I felt about you.' He sighed, eyes leaving the tree and he cuddled further into the blanket.
Then he felt something change.
For a moment, the warmth of his heart that had always been there when Yami was with him had returned. And, if only in that moment, he almost felt his other's strong arms around him—and in his mind, he was leaning into the embrace. A tear trailed down his pale cheek. He didn't know why or how, but he blessed whatever powers allowed him to feel like his darkness was really there…even though they were worlds apart.
Yami couldn't really resist, seeing his aibou cuddling up on the couch. He had always been drawn to this soul of light, the one who completed him, gave him back his life and a reason for living.He had wrapped his ghostly around Yugi, just praying for his little one to feel it…even if that should have been impossible.
…Whether minutes or hours passed, the world was their own, just for that embrace…
Of course, the evil clock on the fireplace mantel cruelly shattered their peace, informing Yugi that it was time to go to bed. His grandfather would insist come to, as usual. He sighed and unwittingly broke the intangible hug, then trudged his way up the stairs.
Yami faithfully followed, smiling sadly. 'Soon, aibou. You may not even know it, but I'll have to leave you, yet again…and it's better that you don't suffer another goodbye, my dear one.'
A few minutes later, Yugi was dressed, ready for bed, had said goodnight to his grandfather and his mother…but he couldn't help lingering in the world of consciousness.
He stood by his desk, gently stroking a box of gold, covered in symbols of an ancient tongue. The box that had brought Yami to him. The box that once held the pieces of the puzzle and now held only the pieces of his broken heart. It was the only thing he had left of Yami besides his memories.
Yugi's fingers brushed over the ornate eye and another precious tear fell from his eyes. He smiled whimsically. "Good night, Yami. Merry Christmas." He murmured, before turning out the light and slipping into bed. 'At least…at least in my heart, you are here.'
I'll be home for Christmas,
If only in my dreams…
Yami watched his aibou and mirrored his precious one's smile. "Merry Christmas, my beloved." He replied softly and gently placing a transparent hand on Yugi's cheek. "Sweet dreams."
He hesitated a bit, hovering just above his sleeping hikari. His dark gaze was filled with tenderness and affection…his unbeating heart clenched in his lifeless chest. 'Oh, aibou. How beautiful you are.'
It was so tempting…to lean down…to press his lips to…he shook himself. No. Why torture himself? The touch of a spirit meant nothing. Someday he and Yugi would be together, but that day was not today.
He withdrew from the sleeping form and placed a hand on Yugi's window frame. He was being called back…back to the realm of the dead, where he belonged. But even so, in his eyes was a firm resolve. "One day, aibou. One day I will find a way back to you. I don't know how, but I promise you…I'll come back to stay."
With those words, Yami's spirit body slid through the window and into the sky, as he hovered above Yugi's house for a lingering last look…"Come, spirit…your time has passed…"
And Yami obeyed…
…But in his heart, he repeated his promised. 'I'll come back to you.'
If only in…my dreams…
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Note: …Okay, already. I got sappy. So sue me. It's CHRISTMAS! The time for sappy and cliché!
…Don't flame me. It was the best I could do, being sick and during the holidays.
–Whimper-
Please review and say nice things? Not mean?