Well, I hereby stand before thee, guilty of ever writing such.
I got bored one day and had a bad case of writer's block, and then this plot bunny came out of nowhere, and then this happened. I apologize for any grammatical mistakes in advance.
Gravity Falls and Legend Of Zelda ain't mine.
They're both 19, Genderbent!Pacifica's name is Atlas, that's all scroll along~
Atlas sighed, nuzzling lazily in his expensive sofa, his finger's racked his game controller as he relentlessly shot hoards of Zombie Hipsters on his TV screen, his left hand absentmindedly reached the bowl of popcorns on his side and popped a few in his mouth to chew.
Friday mornings are solitary fun times for him. With his parents out on their usual weekly mini-golf sessions, and his dweeb in her Science thingy down in her Grunkle's basement, this is the only day in the week where he could enjoy full three hours of uninterrupted fun on his personal living room playing video-games.
Not that he doesn't enjoy her company, but even a guy like him could use a little alone time sometimes.
"Sup!"
Maybe not today.
Atlas whistled with a grin and turned his head around to see her, arms crossed while leaning against the nearby doorway with an amused smile on her face.
"You're early." He chirped, eyes landing briefly on the grandfather clock on his left.
Strange, she usually never visits the Manor around half past nine. Its either her brother ate her pudding in the fridge, or Experiment #A113 refused to show any progress, again. The long white lab-coat she wore over her blue vest tells him its the latter.
Dipper shrugged. "Got bored."
Approaching him from behind, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a quick, giddy peck on the cheek.
"Not happy to see me?" She smiled at him.
"Just surprised that's all." Atlas said and nuzzled against the crook of her neck, relishing her warmth.
She grinned and playfully ruffled his hair, eliciting an annoyed groan from the blond. She vaulted herself over the sofa and plopped herself beside him.
"That game again?" Dipper said, leaning against his shoulder and munched some popcorns.
"Well it's a classic, I'm a sucker for classics."
"Still doesn't excuse it from being cheesy though." She snickered. With all the sublime messages and extreme anti Hippy propaganda this game had, it was banned on 72 countries, including the US of A. How Atlas got his hands on something illegal as that she would never know.
"Speaking of classics," Reaching in her lab-coat, she pulled out a huge, black present and hands it to him. "I've got something for you."
Atlas whistled. "Another one." He stared at the box in curiosity. Knowing Dipper, its probably something Sci-fi with a dash of magic, or another one of her basement experiments, is usually became a pattern of the things she would occasionally gave him.
"Nope."
Then he opened it, and what he saw is nothing he'd expected. A full white tunic shirt, a custom tailored green vest, a ridiculously long green night cap, red belt, and a long white leggings with boots. Hey wait a minute!
"A Link cosplay?" Atlas identified. If the obvious resemblance wan't a giveaway already, its the cheesy sword and shield placed beneath the layers of clothing. He gave her a curious look.
"You like it?" Dipper excitedly asked with a wide grin.
"Um, yeah," He said eagerly with a tinge of confusion. Its pretty cool, Link is one of his childhood heroes. For his girlfriend to go all the way to give him a complete cosplay package was really nice of her, but..
"Not that I don't like it or anything, but this kinda' came out of nowhere."
"Um, yeah, hehe, you see."
Suddenly she looked bashful, and shyly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, laughing nervously as she tapped her fingers.
"You know what day it is tomorrow?"
"Hmm, lets see." Atlas wondered, rubbing his chin.
Come to think of it, he still haven't asked Jeeves about his full Saturday schedule. He had a few things in mind; Play tennis, basketball sparring, swimming, cricket, oh, and there's his all-time favourite-
"I'll-curbstomp-your-brother-on-mini-golf-again Day?"
Dipper rolled her eyes. "No silly, its the 2016 Matsunoki Con, you know, the one annually held at 412 Gopher Road every spring?"
He blinked. "Oh, right, that one."
Then it all adds up.
"Nope, not gonna' happen~" Atlas said in a singsong voice.
"Aw c'mon!"
"I'm not gonna' go on some dweeb convention, let alone cosplay for it!"
"But you're perfect! You're hair's on the right length, though a tad lighter." Her hands fiddled along his blond hair, then a cheeky smile graced the lanky brunette's pale features.
"Plus you're a little short, just like him." She giggled.
Atlas rolled his eyes. "Oh haha, very funny. Really convincing right there." He grumbled sarcastically.
Her 6 feet glory, the fact that she could grow that much height throughout their 6 years of dating, still remained an absolute mystery to him. On one hand, he could flat out rub it on everyone's faces that he, Atlas Northwest, is dating the tallest girl here on Gravity Falls (yes, that is something to be proud of). On one hand, she pretty much beat him by a foot.
That is pretty frustrating on his part. With the tables turned and him being the now short one on this relationship.
And the nicknames, God help him with the nicknames. 'Shrimp' got old when they've reached 16, when 'growth spurt' finally got a little too carried away. And 'Runt' just go 180 on him.
"It's lame."
"No it's not! It's gonna' be really cool I promise! I get to play Zelda-"
Atlas snorted.
-and you get to play Link! This is the first time we could go to a cosplay convention together!"
"Just go find another Link."
"Who? Pfft, Gideon?"
The thought of that fatter than ever child psychic, going cosplay waving around a sword and shield, Atlas lost it. He threw his head back and laughed hard.
"Oh man, that's priceless." He chuckled, wiping a tear.
She rolled her eyes. "Well duh, laugh all you want, why do you think he wants to play Link in the first place?"
"So he could play the illusion that he's big boned and not the delusional fat psycho he is?"
"Well... You're right there, for another question. He likes to be my partner." Dipper shivered.
"Well then why the heck would you like to dress as Zelda in the first place huh? You never, even, ever wore a skirt in your life." He retorted.
Dipper blushed and looked away with a pout. "Because I really, really, really love to have you with me this time around. You always bring on you're snooty Yacht parties, boring family reunions, and don't get me started with those cheesy birthday parties of you're cousins. Name one time you visited any of my Science fairs when we're dating."
Atlas winced, she got him good there. Suddenly he felt a little guilty.
"...Please~"
Oh crap, she used that voice again. Oh crap, its that look again. The way she would give those puppy dog eyes and that irresistible pout, the way she used just the right kind of squeaky tone just to say the magic word.
Atlas, feeling his resistance wane, simply pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Fine." He finally relented.
Dipper squealed. Loud. Even Jeeves chopping onions on the kitchen downstairs heard it and winced. Which sounded a lot like a hissing kitty using a megaphone as far as Atlas is concerned. She happily wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck and promptly showered him with kisses all over his face. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She said midst between pecks. Despite himself, even Atlas couldn't help but grin at the adorable display of affection.
"Yeah, yeah whatever your dork, but you owe me on this one."
Well there goes his Saturday, going cosplay with his girl it is then. But if Atlas would suck it up to spend one day on a dweeb gathering like that, Dipper would sure wouldn't mind a little something in return.
He remembered that one time, on last year's convention, the Pines Twins went on for a more sci-fi theme. And Star Wars was an obvious choice, her twin brother got to play as Luke, and Dipper of course, as princess Leia. He smiled fondly at how she looked pretty in that get up. But then it was replaced with a frown when he remembered what happened afterwards.
That moment when he asked her, why not the other Princess Leia costume.
Dipper looked confused, and she tilted her head, and then realised and shrieked, calling him a pervert. And then Dipper... His hand instinctively caressed his left cheek, inwardly wincing at how much it hurt that day.
That was the one time he'd regret ever encouraging her on taking Stan's boxing lessons, who new she could get so good at it? And the one time he'd swore never to crack a sexist joke like that again on her expense.
It was fun seeing her beating the snot out of Gideon whenever that obnoxious fraud gets a little too far... until it was his turn.
"Oh, don't worry about that though." She chuckled... Low and... Sensual?
Atlas stiffed in his seat, eyes widening.. That doesn't sounds Dipper. Dipper's voice was boyish and naive, whereas this one... Is deep and persuasive.
"When this is over," He could feel her warm breath on his neck as she whispered into his ear. He couldn't help but shiver in delight. Wait, did her fingers just caressed his jaw all the way down his chest? Is this girl beside him even Dipper at all?
"I'll show you how grateful.. Dipper Pines can really get~"
She giggled and gave him one final kiss on the lips before standing up.
"Meet me at the Shack tomorrow, eight in the morning, full costume." She hollered with her back turned, waving her hand.
With that, she left. Leaving Atlas, his game controller still in his now trembling hands, mouth agape, face as red as a tomato and his eyes as wide as saucers. Such decomposured look in his face would be something the young Northwest would shook his head about later on.
But if you just so happen to have a tomboy of a girlfriend do something like... that... You're bound to have your brain to short circuit for a few minutes. In which in Atlas' case, five.
"Who's the pervert now?" He grumbled, recovering from his initial shock.