It's silent on the train. Around you, men sit in silence as though they were still waiting to go over the trench. The war is won, yet no one was celebrating. But in the air. You can feel a tired excitement – the boys are going home.
You had been a nurse in France for all of it. You had seen so many die that you weren't sure how you were ever supposed to live a normal life again. You had nothing to be happy about unlike the soldiers surrounding you – there was no one waiting for you at home. You hope that Tommy had survived. You had left for war after him but had never received one letter. You didn't even know if he had known where you were – it had never crossed your mind to think if Polly had written to him about it. All you had had of him was a small picture stolen from Polly and the memories of your happy life together before the war. You had tried not to think about the tears as you had waved goodbye to him – Tommy believing you would be safe at home. He had jokingly ordered you to stay safe but you had already signed up to be a nurse – you hadn't known if you had been accepted yet. The lie you had told him had kept you awake most nights over the last 4 years.
As the train pulls into the station, the horn makes you jump as the train slows. Out of the window, you see people peeking in, nervous smiles on their faces. For a moment, all the passengers have a realisation – they are home. Suddenly the men rush to the exits to they see their families. You see Danny run to his wife and sons. You smile sadly at John making out with Martha as his children pull on his trousers – desperate to be hugged. You see the joyful smiles as men find their families. Something that you weren't expecting to have. But you felt at peace, those men could finally be happy again.
You sit there, pulling your thick coat tighter around your slightly shrunken frame. You just want to watch the happiness before you come crashing back to reality. Your parents had died a few years before the war, leaving you to look out for yourself but you could feel their presence today, urging you to stand up. Taking a shaky breath, you begin to make your way to the door. It was time to go home.
The cold winter morning hits you first as you open the carriage door. You gingerly step onto the platform as a wave of noise hits you. People shouting to each other, people crying – it's all too much. You can't focus on anything as you dodge people. It feels like being back in the field hospitals, moving past other nurses to tend to your own patients when the wounded had been brought in. You manage to make it to the middle before you hear a small voice. Turning, you see a small boy looking at you quizzically – Finn with a huge smile spreading across his face.
"Finn? My goodness you've grown!" You smile as he runs for a hug.
You hold him tight, you had looked after Finn numerous times before the war but you are still surprised he remembers you – 4 years was a long time for a boy.
As you let go he runs back through the thinning crowds. You watch as he makes his way towards a large group of people – the Shelbys. You see them all hugging and laughing with each other but your heart sinks slightly when you can't see Tommy. Your mind starts thinking the worst so you concentrate on Finn, distracting yourself like you had done so many times before. Confused, you see him reach a familiar looking woman, who was hugging Arthur. It only takes you a moment to realise it is Polly. You watch as she turns quickly to search for something – only to see it is you she is looking for. When her eyes land on you, she gasps before running over.
"My dear child! You're alive!" She cries as she pulls you in for a hug, hearing her pray into your hair.
Shock momentarily takes hold of you as you come to realise the situation – this isn't a dream. She had been so angry when you had told her you were leaving. But now, she holds you tightly on the foggy platform. You hadn't exchanged letters but she was like your second mother. She had looked after you after being left alone in the world. You suddenly feel safe as you close your eyes – savouring the hug.
But as she loosens her grip, you open your eyes to see a solider looking at you. Tommy. Suddenly, it's like time has stood still. He looks so different yet you can still see the man you fell in love with beneath the military uniform. He looks tired and aged, but still how you remembered him. Your eyes lock as you begin to make your way to each other. Your heart races as you scramble towards him.
As you reach each other, he pulls you in tight into a crushing hug which lifts you into the air. A small laugh escapes your lips. He was alive. He was alive! Your mind races as you run your fingers through his hair, which has grown out slightly in the back, and clench his jacket in your fist. Burying your face into his neck, you take in his smell – the smell of home. You never want to let him go again. You pull back only minutely to kiss him lightly, afraid that he would disappear like he did in your dreams so many times. You can feel his wet cheeks against you own as your tears mix together.
His cold hand holds your face as his thumb tries to dry your tears.
"Where – where have you been?" he asks, a look of terror on his face. It was then when you realise that he had been trying to find you. "I thought – I thought-"
"Never" you promise as you put your forehead to his. "I love you too much to let you go Tommy Shelby."
You quickly decide that you can't lie to him again, it would hurt you both so much if you weren't honest now.
"I've been in France Tom." Tommy's face turns to shock so you continue before he can ruin this moment. "But I'm okay. It's going to be okay."
Taking a moment, Tommy looks you up and down – as if you ensure himself that you are fine before a small smile creeps up his lips.
"You couldn't follow one simple order, could you?" he jokes as he kisses your forehead.
"You wouldn't have fallen in love with me if I always listened to you." You smile.
You move your hand to wipe a tear from his cheek. His hand raises to join your own and holds it tight between your chests. You look into his piercing blue eyes as a smile breaks across your face.
"I will always love you [Y/N]" he promises before he kisses you deeper this time.
You hear the cheers of his family behind as they watch on. But it feels as if you are in your own little world, away from danger.
"Let's go home, eh?" Tommy says with a smile, pulling you towards the rest of the Shelbys.
You don't know what will happen now, all you know was that you are back with the man you loved. You are happy again for the first time in 4 years.