Motivation
By AllTheSnakes
Niles entered the shopping mall not really believing he was doing it.
People took advantage of his soft spots so easily it was kind of pathetic.
He surveyed the place, observing the absurd amount of people coming and going, and reminded himself one more time that Christmas season was hellish to buy anything, that every year he made sure to plan his activities beforehand to avoid the crowds and that he should have pondered better instead of accepting to involve himself in this endeavor so eagerly.
Well, erase that previous thought – people took advantage of his soft spots with alarming easiness, and it was truly pathetic.
Memories of how he had got in this mess assaulted him while he started fending off his way into the place.
ncncncncncnc
The butler had been sitting at the kitchen's small round table, studying some recipes for the upcoming Christmas celebrations, when Grace Sheffield entered the room.
'Niles, I need a favor'.
He didn't even raise his head to answer in a grouchy tone, 'If this is about the special chocolate cookies I promised you for this morning, I already said they were very real last night, last I saw them. I have no idea what happened'.
'Well, I have', Grace spoke matter-of-factly, 'Sylvia came to visit Fran after we all had retired for the night, and witnesses say she went home through the back door, while there was no one in the kitchen', the girl waved a hand, 'We can't be vigilant all the time'.
He threw her a glance and smiled, grateful she believed him enough to do some research.
At the same time, it amused him how her gestures and general attitude could be turning so similar to her Nanny's, and yet keep being so Sheffield,'I promise to rectify it as soon as I go for groceries'.
'Thank you', she smiled back, 'May I ask the favor, now?'
'My, my. Isn't it enough I compromised about cookies?', he lowered his eyes to the recipes again and added, sighing dramatically, 'You can't blame a person for trying'.
(It was not clear even to Niles if he meant Grace had her right to try to get a favor from him or if he had the right to try to avoid it.)
Not one for asking unnecessary explanations, the girl came to stand at the other side of the table, in front of him, supporting her hands on the back of a chair and going right to the point, 'I'm developing a psychological experiment, and I need some help to do it without any suspicions from the people involved. You know, if they find out they are being tested it will alter the results, and I want it as truthful as it can be'.
The butler frowned, putting aside a recipe that looked promising, 'Well, even if I believe you don't intend any harm, psychological experiments are a delicate topic, in the sense that they are, essentially, doing things to someone's head. There are a lot of ethical questions to be taken into consideration'.
'I'm aware of that, Niles, and that is why I was counting on you'.
He didn't need to look at her to know she had the pleading eyes that could melt his resistance.
(So, he didn't look.)
While shuffling through the sheets of paper in his hands, the butler answered calmly, 'I feel honored, Miss Grace, but exactly because you trust me is that I must tell you the downsides of such actions, and how unexpected and unpredictable results can come from them, even if followed closely by an adult'.
There were some moments of silence.
Niles risked a glance, and saw the girl had a pensive stance.
'It seemed such a good idea...', she finally spoke, 'But maybe I should just let it go'.
'You don't have to give up, just give it some more time', Niles hurried to say, in what he should have known was the first mistake that would lead to his downfall, 'It's Christmas, after all, and people are especially emotional this time of the year. It could alter the results, too'.
'You're right', Grace shrugged, 'But it's such a pity. I had it all planned'.
'I bet you had', he smirked, throwing a quick knowing look at her.
'I must think things over', the girl shook her head, 'I mean, how could I believe taking Miss Babcock by surprise would be a safe idea?'
The moment the businesswoman's name was said, the butler raised his head.
It was like his ears had perked, 'What did you say?'
'Forget it, Niles'.
'No way', he answered, emphatically, 'It's your project, and you can't give up without a fight. Is that what Miss Fine would do?'
'But you just said...'
'I know what I said. It applied to normal people, not to Babcock', he put the recipes aside, 'What is the experiment about? What do I have to do?'
'I couldn't ask you to…'
'Yes, you could. I mean, let me be the judge of it. I'm the adult, here', he smiled over-sweetly at her, 'And you trust me'.
'All right', the girl caved in and started speaking excitedly, 'The theme of my research is motivation. I want to evaluate reactions triggered by a specific positive action in a controlled environment'.
'I see', Niles said, joining his hands on the table and focusing solely on the girl, 'And what exactly you have in mind?'
Grace turned into the miniature professional she often was when therapy things were at stake, 'Knowing Miss Babcock's resistance to bonding with people, I intend on seizing the Christmas season to provide her some stimuli and see if it can change her attitude'.
'Are we talking about positive enforcement? Like Pavlov's dog, you'll going to train her to answer well to Christmas things?', he smirked, 'I'm not sure I want to deal with a Babcock who salivates at the sight of mistletoe'.
(Niles spoke and flinched, wondering why he had associated that woman's mouth with mistletoe.)
In order to distract himself from any strange thoughts, he went on talking, 'If the tradition involves drinking, you don't have to make any experiment – she will accept it easily. Thinking better, with the right amount of booze I'm sure she would dig any tradition', his eyes shone, 'Is there any possibility my share in your plan is tying her down and force eggnog down her throat?'
(Tying Miss Babcock down was not a good choice of words, too, and his mind wandered again, this time to possibilities of himself being tied down by her – a fantasy that invaded his mind a lot more often than he wished it would.)
Luckily, the young girl was very focused on her goal, and chastised him, hands on her hips and all, 'No tying anyone, Niles!'
Grace soon had a smile in her face, once the butler raised his hands in surrender.
Pacified, she added, 'My idea is a lot more daring'.
'Really?', he got interested again.
'Yes, and it needs someone resourceful and perceptive for it to work out', she threw him an analytical glance, 'Do you think you fit the description?'
'Hey!', Niles straightened his back in offense, 'You're speaking to the man who has provided you chocolate cookies for a lifetime, Sylvia or not. Just tell me what you need and I can do it'.
'You're the best, Niles!', Grace circled the table and ran to throw her arms around his shoulders, 'I thank you in the name of Science!'
'Uhum', he jiggled his shoulders when she let go of him, embarrassed by the physical display of affection, 'It's nice to be appreciated, even if I know you're manipulating me'.
ncncncncncncnc
Well, he had been very well manipulated.
So much that here he was, to do his part of the deal.
The task was apparently very easy: he had to buy a Christmas gift for Miss Babcock, give it to her and pay attention to her immediate feedback in order to report it to Grace.
The idea should make him giddy, once it opened the door for millions of possibilities of pranks and zingers and smart references. Besides, he would have to report her probable overreaction to someone.
(It should be a win-win situation: messing with Babcock's head and spreading the news!)
However, the rules were very clear, and spoiled a good part of the game: the gift couldn't be offensive; it couldn't be a meaningless token, either. Whatever Niles picked should convey good intentions and serve as a positive symbol of their relationship.
Initially frustrated at the conditions, soon the idea of buying something for Babcock took root in his brain and he found himself happily making lists of possible gifts and what they meant.
He hadn't foreseen the difficulties of such a task.
There were the crowded shops, surely an annoyance, but they weren't his main problem – he could deal with it. Facing crowds for shopping was something he had plenty of experience with, being a butler.
His issues were more related to the inner debate he had to face in order to find out what was positive in their relationship.
More related to the fact that he tried not to think of Babcock in a positive way, daily, and now was having pleasure doing it.
More related to the realization that he was used to create zingers and pranks every time he needed to distract himself from the improper thoughts Babcock raised in him but, for this mission to be accomplished, he had to focus exactly on what fascinated him.
This was surely a new challenge.
Buying things for the children was relatively easy, once he knew them since they were very small and was constantly up to date on their routines – wanting it or not. Niles was very clever and observant, and every year he discovered something each one of them needed and would not make him bankrupt.
Buying anything for Mister Sheffield was ridiculously easy, once the man had never changing tastes. A new tie, for example, if similar to one that he was fond of and was getting old, always succeeded in making his boss happy.
Miss Fine would be overjoyed with anything that showed affection, had at least a hint of class and involved clothes and accessories.
Niles was good at buying gifts. He knew how to make them meaningful and not too expensive, because he made a living of paying attention to people and always knew what they needed and would make them happy.
That was what he had to do, now.
However, now it was about Miss Babcock, his sworn enemy, and it changed everything.
The last days since Miss Grace asking had been busy in the mansion, with all the extra work the butler had when Holidays and festivities in general approached, and still Niles noticed the search for the perfect gift for Babcock stayed with him all the time, as an unexpected pleasant company.
His list for possible gifts turned to be long and varied, what proved he spent a lot of his time paying attention to her, thinking of her and generally musing on the things she said and did. It was still never ending, even if he pondered over every item many times, constantly dismissing the ones that were too expensive (There's no way I can afford sapphires. What was I thinking?), the ones too dangerous (The only chance she won't shove a Jack Daniel's through my throat is if she doesn't have a spare one) and the ones too revealing (I think she looks great in red, but I can't risk her realizing I think she looks great in anything).
The list changed every day, never leaving him out of options and still not presenting him with any option suitable enough.
Niles fought a sad feeling over the fact that he spent years saying he despised CC Babcock, and now had to admit he may be doing it because, when you really think of it, he could not offer her anything worth her time.
Not finding the perfect gift to someone is always a troubling experience, and while Niles walked through the mall, annoying the hurrying people with his slower and contemplative pace, he asked himself why he had believed the notion that coming here would solve everything.
He stopped and looked around, feeling lost.
Maybe he should give up. Maybe he shouldn't have agreed to help in a project that involved Babcock. Maybe he should have known better…
His eyes settled on something, and he knew he had found it.
Ncncncncncnc
Really, there was no limit for his ridiculousness.
Niles got out of the lift and saw Miss Babcock already at the door of the penthouse, waiting for him with arms crossed and a suspicious frown on her face.
(Miss Grace had told him the gift must be given with no chance of Miss Babcock thinking it was a prank. That was why he decided it could not be in the mansion, where second guessing and interferences were possible.)
The blonde's eyes looked at him from head to toe when he stopped in front of her, snow melting from his heavy coat, 'Did I hear it right? The doorman said you were here to give me something'.
Niles felt self-conscious.
He had crossed the city in a freezing night just to give her a gift.
And it was so small it fit in an inner pocket.
Suddenly, a familiar sense of inadequacy came over him.
To hide it he squared his shoulders and lashed out, 'Aren't we lucky the lift brought me here so quickly you didn't forget all the man had told you?'
She passed her tongue on her front teeth, 'I permitted you to come over even if your explanation to be here was just to give me something. As far as I know, it could be anything, from a stack of contracts to add to my pile of extra work until a bomb', she raised her brows, 'Do you really think you're in any position to be so sassy?'
Niles clenched his fists on the pockets of his coat, preparing for the backlash, 'I've brought a Christmas gift for you'.
She stayed looking attentively to his face.
For a moment, he hoped she would ask What for?, what would provide him the perfect opportunity to say the things he had rehearsed.
However, what came was, 'Why did Maxwell send it through you? I'm still going to the mansion, tomorrow'.
It felt like a punch in the face.
Niles felt kind of dizzy, his heart constricted, and all he could think of was What am I doing here?!
He suppressed the urge to say something hurtful enough to be sent away – he was not thinking clear and would probably be too rough even for their standards –, gulped down and clarified, 'It's from me'.
She tilted her head.
He waited.
She went aside, 'Come in'.
Niles obeyed, walking just enough for her to close the door behind him.
'If you are able to take off your own coat, as a good butler, you can have a seat', she said, passing by him.
She reached her sofa and crossed her legs, waiting for him.
Niles didn't move.
He was looking at her in what was probably the most suspicious expression she had ever seen.
'What?', she asked, 'I don't want you to wet my apartment'.
He gulped down, 'I don't intend staying time enough in your lair for it to happen'.
'Relax, Niles. I won't do any harm to you'.
He scoffed, 'Why should I believe it?'
'I may seem a cold person, but you must know I appreciate you', she put a hand over her heart, 'If you intend on getting a part time job as a Santa mall in order to add another ridiculous income to your already ridiculous one and came to me for training on giving presents without your boss knowing, I'm going to help you'.
Niles felt his hands hurt at how fiercely he was clenching them.
She had managed to call him poor, old and fat in one breath.
There was a zinger ready on his head that compared her to a dragon that crushed souls through fiery breathing, but he couldn't bring himself to deliver it.
For some reason, now that he had dedicated time to be honest with himself and admit her opinion on him mattered, everything she said hurt him.
Niles felt cursed: he had told Miss Grace that psychological experiments were meant to mess with people's heads, not realizing it included him, not just the person being analyzed.
(The truth was he never thought his head had such a strong link to his heart, and that the fact he permitted himself to think of his relationship with Miss Babcock as something good would make him vulnerable to the blows she threw at him and he was usually able to dodge and pretend they didn't matter.)
She spoke in his silence, 'Are you pouting because you couldn't ring my bell and hide, adding another meaning to your title of bell boy?'
Her laughing echoed in the apartment, and Niles spoke before he could stop himself, 'You must be used to things that just ring a bell, having the memory issues of old age'.
'It's the second lame retort calling me senile', she rolled her eyes, 'I hope you have something better planned, or I'll take the baseball bat I intended on using in case the ringing bell thing happened'.
'I confess you deluded me', the butler moved his shoulders, uncomfortable, 'I thought you had waited at the door out of a clever strategy to capture me, not with such gore in mind'.
'That's one advantage of not caring about Christmas', she shrugged, 'I'm not affected to the cheesiness and can keep my usual levels of harm'.
Niles stared at her figure.
CC Babcock was sitting on her expensive sofa, at easy while mocking him mercilessly in her professionally designed penthouse.
He lowered his eyes and felt his shoulders fall, asking himself again how in blazes he thought he had any chance to make a good impression and why he still cared.
In order to hurry things, he took his hands off his pockets and joined them in front of him, his fingertips touching in a gesture of nervousness.
(He was consoled by the thought that she didn't pay the attention required to understand his body language.)
He started speaking without looking at the woman in the sofa, 'I know you make sure to announce, every chance you have, how much you despise Christmas and how little you care for it, but it's the one time of the year when normal human beings have the chance to give something to express positive feelings for the people who have meaningful roles in their lives. That is why I decided to do something different regarding you, this year, Miss Babcock, and I chose a gift', he raised his eyes to her for a moment, 'And, before you ask – a real gift'.
She had a very serious air, and he knew she was waiting for the punch line.
Gulping down the sadness over how suspicious she was of him all the time, and how impossible it was to change it, he looked at his hands, 'I went searching for something that could represent our way to relate to each other, and that you could look at with fondness. I wished it to be special, once it's already a miracle that I felt like doing it, and it's probably a once in a life experiment'.
He licked his lips, realizing he was getting closer to the truth than he should, mentioning an experiment she wasn't supposed to know about.
(He was just good at keeping secrets until he met another person, after all.)
The butler resumed, 'I pondered on a fancy drink, but I couldn't bring myself to give you something it's part of a bad habit I often criticize; I pondered on some book and movie titles but, as much as I know your tastes and that they are very similar to mine, I didn't want to risk giving you something you already had; I pondered on a scarf or a beret, once you're so fond of such accessories, but I found out I couldn't afford any brands you are used to', he shook his head slightly, 'And that was when I realized two very important things'.
There was a moment of silence.
Niles licked his lips and summoned a lot of courage to go ahead, 'The first was that I couldn't afford the kind of things you wear daily. Even if I chose something beautiful, even if I got the color right, it would never reach the standards you're used to, what proved you were right every time you reminded me of how important class differences are'.
He breathed deeply. He hadn't planned on admitting she was right in anything. In fact, he was saying a lot more than he originally intended.
'The second thing was that, whatever I picked for you would not be worth your care. I could choose with the best of intentions, but in the best of the worlds you would find it amusing and then forget it in some drawer'.
He frowned. He never thought it would be so difficult to say it.
It was better to shift to the rehearsed part of his speech.
Niles opened his coat and took the small package from the inner pocket, keeping it in his hand, 'I bought something that was not expensive, but seemed perfect to express what I think of you. You must know it was intended to be a sincere token; it speaks of your charms, undeniable strength and abilities'.
He walked some steps and, to his surprise, the blonde got up from the sofa to meet him halfway.
They stood in front of the other, eyes locked.
CC was very still very serious.
Niles felt almost afraid she would slap him.
As if he had an idiocy button that got activated under pressure, he resumed speaking, 'Once I said you were my hobby', he reddened, 'Even if it was put as a zinger, it was the truth: I'm involved with it because I enjoy it, it demands my time, my skills and my dedication, and I am grateful to have such a qualified challenge in my life, making me aware and focused on bettering myself'.
She blinked at him, surprise dawning in her.
Before she could say anything that would surely break the moment and destroy Niles' sense of accomplishment for at least being able to say those things on her face, he stretched his arm abruptly at her, 'Happy Christmas, Miss Babcock'.
She grabbed the box out of shock and Nile seized the moment to turn away and walk to the door, exiting the penthouse.
ncncncncncnc
Niles spent that night without sleeping, feeling ridiculous for fleeing like a schoolboy.
Next morning he still felt ridiculous while he prepared breakfast and told Miss Grace a summarized version of the facts, reporting his visit to Babcock as a failure: even if he managed to buy what he considered a meaningful gift and had the guts to give it to her, he didn't wait to see her reaction, as asked; he had feared for his life and ran away, instead of facing the monster until the end.
To his surprise, Grace didn't ask what he bought, nor seemed disappointed at his decision of not staying. She explained to him he had done the essentials, and that she could perfectly observe the blonde by herself, thanking him effusively for his help in her project.
Relieved by the girl's attitude but confused she didn't share his disappointment, Niles went on with breakfast preparations, trying not to think that much about what had happened.
Yes, he had bought Miss Babcock something that showed he admired her.
And he really did admire her.
She was fierce, energetic and hardworking.
She was witty and clever when she was not following social misconceptions.
When at her best, she had an imposing presence and a strength that made him stop everything he was doing just to look at her in fascination.
At her worst, she was fragile and got easily troubled by the most stupid things, what made him throw zingers to keep at bay the urge to reach out for her.
If they had met in different circumstances, he surely would...
No, Old Man. Don't go there. This path won't take you anywhere.
He had just sighed in exasperation at the sadness that came over him at those thoughts when the swinging door opened and the blonde herself entered.
'There you are', she said, 'I thought I would find you in the kitchen'.
He busied himself even more, hoping she was there to make sure things were back to normal, 'Nice to know you are able to navigate the house by yourself, instead of haunting the corridors'.
'Very funny, coming from the man who ran away as if he had seen a ghost, last night'.
Oh, dear. 'Miss Babcock…'
'No, no, no', she raised a hand, 'You left so quickly for a moment I pondered if you had really given me a bomb'.
He rolled his eyes.
'I have questions, and you owe me answers'.
He rested his hands on the island tiredly, giving up, 'It was Miss Grace's idea. She said she was making an experiment, and…'
'I know it. She had told me she wanted to test if she was able to motivate you enough to do something out of ordinary', the blonde smirked, 'I gave her some hints, but the girl is really good'.
Niles had his mouth hanging open.
When he managed to close it, was to stutter, 'W-what…'
CC cut him off, 'Would you limit yourself to answer what I ask of you, instead of saying nonsense or old news?'
He blinked some times, then nodded.
Maybe it was for the better.
The blonde put her purse on the counter, opened it and took the little box he had given her the previous night, opening it and revealing his gift.
She took it in her hand, 'You gave me a necklace with a golden seven pointed star pendant', she moved it in her hand, admiring the carefully crafted details of it, quite similarly to the way he had done when he picked it, 'It's an ancient symbol related to witches, isn't it?'
Niles nodded.
'I researched it. It is supposed to represent magical energy and protection against evil'.
He nodded again.
'Stars have different meanings, related to the number of points. Five pointed ones are for five important things in life, as the senses; eight pointed ones are for being reborn. Seven pointed, as this one, are for perfection', she squinted at him, 'Did you know that?'
He nodded again.
'Does it mean you picked a pagan symbol that symbolizes perfection as a Christmas gift for me?'
Niles moved his shoulders shyly, 'I thought it would be nice to respect your culture'.
CC stayed looking at him for long moments, her hand in the air, the pendant swinging lightly in its delicate chain.
Suddenly, she spoke with emphasis, 'Do you realize that this is probably the most well thought and considerate gift I have ever received?'
The butler couldn't contain a foolish happy grin, 'Really?'
'Of course!', she answered, annoyed, 'You could have picked anything related to being a witch – I'm sure you have seen broom and cauldron pendants – and still chose something that turned one of the nicknames you gave me into a praise', she approached him, 'Come on. Put it on me'.
Niles had been shocked that she liked his gift, and could barely believe when she stopped with her back to him, pulling her hair to the side and exposing her neck, while extending the necklace over her shoulder.
He gulped down, 'Miss Babcock… You don't have to wear it. I acted on the self-centered notion that it would make any difference if I showed you how much I appreciate our way to interact with each other, but you don't have to…'
'No, I don't have to', she interrupted him, 'I want to'.
Silence.
Waiting.
Finally, Niles sighed, took the pendant from her hand (fingertips touching slightly), brushed aside some errand hair from her neck (fingertips caressing slightly) and proceeded to clasp the necklace.
He did it taking a lot more time than it was really necessary, then traced the golden lines against her skin without a good excuse, and she simply let him do it, without questions, just closing her eyes and relaxing her shoulders under his touch.
'It's done', he whispered when the urge to plant a kiss on her creamy skin was getting too much.
CC opened her eyes and turned to him with a broad smile, 'No, it's just beginning'.
Before he could ask what she meant, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.
When they parted, she licked her lips, 'You unleashed some wild forces, Niles. Now it's time to face the consequences of empowering me this much'.
She spoke, winked at him and left the kitchen.
When he was able to think straight, Niles closed his eyes, said a little prayer that included being grateful for small and big miracles and a promise of providing as many chocolate cookies as a certain clever girl asked him to.
The end