"Let me help you with that Gogo." Tadashi reaches for the enormous box I'm carrying, but I pull it away.
"I'm fully capable of carrying this box by myself Hamada." I rush towards the door before he can open it for me.
"Gogo, I'm supposed to get the door for y-" he protests but I stop him with a look he knows means "shut up".
We've had this conversation before, and because he's chuckling and shaking his head, I'm pretty sure he remembers.
He had insisted that men always had to open doors for women but I said that was unfair. So what, women couldn't be chivalrous?
In the end he agreed to my method that, between the two of us, whoever gets to the door first gets to open it. Needless to say, he has resorted to power walking his way to a door before a girl has to open it herself.
"Leave it on the desk." I say, returning to my bike.
"More parts?" He asks, and I notice that he takes care to move any papers before setting the box down, and then continues to adjust the things on my desk to make everything symmetrical. Freaking Hamada...
I pop a bubble to buy me some time and then say "Yeah."
I'm positive he doesn't suspect anything.
His birthday is a week away and as much as I wanted to build his present at my dorm, I didn't have the right equipment
"Don't you think you should be heading home by now?" he asks, and I pop another bubble.
"I could say the same thing to you." I quip.
"Fair enough, but you shouldn't overwork yourself, its unhealthy." I roll my eyes at his concern. I'm not made of glass.
"Says the guy who stayed here till three in the morning yesterday." I counter, and he rubs the back of his neck.
"Can I at least get you coffee? I was planning on grabbing a cup before coming back." I pause at this. A guy buying a girl coffee... Typical cliche guy flirting gesture...
But it's Tadashi and he's bought coffee for everyone before, Honey Lemon included, and we're not like that, and he knows that we're not like that.
And it's weird and stupid for me to even be thinking about cliches and Tadashi.
It's Tadashi for crying out loud. Ugh.
"Black. Tons of sugar." I know he'll refuse any money I try to give him, so I wait till he goes for his keys in his lab and slip a five into his jacket pocket before I turn back to my bike.
"Don't burn the down the building."
" Try not to run over anyone in that moped of yours." I retort. He chuckles and heads for the door.
As soon as the door shuts I release a breath I didn't know I was holding.
Everything about Tadashi just felt... weird lately. Something was off and I didn't like it. Maybe Honey Lemon would know...
When Tadashi comes back he thankfully doesn't mention the money. He hands me my coffee and I throw away my gum.
"Hamada." I say, not exactly a thank you, but as close to gratitude as he's gonna get this late at night without any caffeine in my system.
"Tomago." He replies more gently and my response is to take a long swig from the cup, burning my tongue in the process.
"Not enough sugar." I say, putting it down as I reach for a wrench.
"I thought as much." He pulls out a few packets of sugar from his pocket. I turn back to my bike, shrugging off the twinge in my chest I felt about him getting me extra sugar.
I let him add sugar to my coffee while I put some supplies away. I was probably just more tired than I wanted to admit.
"You calling it quits?" He passes me the now sufficiently sweet cup and picks up his own.
"Yeah, we have that meeting with the Board tomorrow anyway." I say, picking up my bag and giving him a two finger salute.
"Goodnight Go." He says, and I almost visibly stiffen at this name, a nickname to my nickname, but shrug it off again.
I'm just tired. It's just Tadashi.
My face feels hot but I decide it's because of the coffee
How naive of me. I blame it on my lack of sleep.
When I get home and reach for my dorm key, I find the five dollar bill I put in Tadashi's pocket sticking out of my bag. Attached is a sticky note that says "Goodnight Gogo :)"
Before I fall asleep I take the sticky note and press it to my dresser mirror.
"Good morning Gogo!" Honey's cheerful voice matches the brightness seeping through my curtains.
My roommate only gets to make me breakfast when I sleep in too long, which is rare but today just happens to be one of those days.
"Morning Honey." I reply, rubbing my eyes and stretching as the smell of pancakes and bacon reaches my nose.
This gets me up and ready in record time.
When I look in the mirror I see the sticky note and suddenly I'm upset with myself.
"Have you noticed anything weird lately about Tadashi?" I blurt, trying not to sound as phased as I really am. There has to be something different about him, I certainly haven't changed.
"Hmmm?" comes Honey's reply from the kitchen.
"Tadashi. Something's off." I peel the note off my mirror. I never put anyone on my mirror, no pictures of family or friends or even notes that Honey wrote for me.
"Stupid." I mutter and almost hurl it at the trash can.
"No, has he been acting weird?" she asks, flipping a pancake gracefully. She brings both our plates to the table as I pour us some juice.
"Its not so much that he's been acting weird, I've just been getting this really weird vibe when I'm around him." Honey's fork pauses in midair and she gets this look on her face that only comes up when she's talking about her ships and her OTPs. I'm almost ashamed that I know what both of those things are. What have I done?
"What kind of a vibe?" she continues.
I drink some more juice, and stop to think about this, I don't want to make it sound like something it's not. It isn't really like a negative vibe, like he's hide something that's bothering him. It's just... different.
And different isn't always bad. And if it's not bad then it doesn't matter.
"Its nothing. Nevermind."
Honey is a born matchmaker and as much as I doubt she'd believe I of all people was crushing on someone, especially Tadashi, I don't want her getting ideas.
I look over and I can practically see the gears turning in her mind.
"Is it a nice feeling? Kind of warm and happy?"
"No." I say with conviction, because it's true and further proves that it's not that kind of feeling in my book. The disappointment on her face is evident, but it is what it is.
"It's uncomfortable, and annoying, but I'm sure it's just because I've been tired lately."
We're silent for awhile, and I'm about to ask her how studying was yesterday but she doesn't let me.
"Have you ever... considered being with Tadashi like that?" she asks, and she knows my answer is no because I haven't considered being with someone since... ever really. My pointed look tells her this much and she sighs.
"I'm positive there's someone out there who could make you happy Gogo." she smiles and I roll my eyes.
"I don't want my happiness to depend on someone saying I'm pretty or wanting to hold hands," I practically shudder at the thought, "I make myself happy. You guys make me happy. Work makes me happy. That's enough, right?"
I surprise myself with that last part because even I noticed that it came out as a question, like I wasn't sure it was enough.
"Right." I answer myself, but Honey is quick and she now knows that even though my head is convinced, my heart isn't.
I tell my heart to shut up like I usually do.
"Wrong. You'll see." she says with a brilliant smile, and I want to ask what she means, but it looks Iike she's dropped the subject and I'm not about to keep it up.
I get through my general classes and I'm walking to my lab when I see this girl rushing, more like scurrying, towards the Nerd Lab.
That's weird... I thought they weren't accepting anymore students in the Robotics program...
I notice a pen lying on the ground in her path and speed up so when she trips I catch the box she's been carrying.
"Shoot!" She's on the ground looking up at me apologetically, surrounded by what used to be a stack of papers that had been perched on the box I'm carrying.
"Oh my gosh, are you alright?" I stiffen at the sound of his voice. Tadashi to the rescue, of course. I suppress on eye roll.
The girl turns, her eyes widen, her pupils dilate, her shoulders stiffen, and her cheeks start turning the slightest shade of pink.
Typical.
"I-I'm fine." Shes still staring at him, and it's getting annoying. I decide to give her some help, so I pop a rather loud bubble.
She snaps out of it, looks down bashfully, and gets on her knees to pick up the papers; naturally Tadashi stoops down to help the poor helpless damsel in distress.
Have I mentioned that I absolutely hate cliches? If they reach for the same paper at the same time and their hands touch and they look up at each other I'm going to gag.
They do, and the gag never comes, but I'm almost angry.
What's wrong with me?
"Thank you." She says, clearly meant for Tadashi despite the fact that I caught her box.
"Both of you." she adds hastily, before I can give her a "your welcome" with attitude. My gum pops again.
"You must be the new Robotics student. Tadashi Hamada, nice to meet you." He smiles, hands her her papers and she's gaping again, so I blow another bubble.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Angelica." She tucks a strand of long blonde hair behind her ear, still obviously dazed by the guy standing in front of her.
Freaking Hamada...
"This is Gogo." Tadashi says, gesturing towards me. I give her a two finger salute and pop another bubble before turning and carrying her stuff into our work place.
"Come on, we'll help you set up." I hear Tadashi coming up beside me to open the door, but I beat him to it.
I set the box on her desk, almost adjacent to mine, and walk back to my station because Tadashi is chatting up a storm, and they don't need me.
I guess I could call Tadashi the best of all welcoming committees because he's got Angelica smiling and laughing... come to think of it, it's more like giggling, and when I look over, she briefly touches his arm, looks down almost shyly, and starts fiddling with a lock of her hair. I've always been pretty good at reading body language, but this girl wasn't a book, she was a walking billboard. She was crushing hard. And she'd only just met him.
Tadashi is doing too good of a job. And I don't like it...
I don't like it.
My helmet falls out of my hand and falls to the ground with a loud thunk.
Everyone stops what they're doing and looks over, shock registered on all their faces except for Angelica's.
Shoot.
I shrug, pop my gum, and pick up my helmet before grabbing my jacket and my bike and heading outside.
I want to punch something.
This is stupid. This is ridiculous. Ugh. This is stupid.
I'm speeding to the park where I can go as fast as I want.
I can't believe myself. After all this freaking time taking care not to let any guy get too close I make one mistake... Aghhh!
I'm pushing my bike to its limit but the speed is elping me clear my head
Breathe Gogo, it's no big deal. It's not like I'm in love. I scowl at the thought.
Love, like, dating, it's all out of the question.
After a while I slow down and head back to to school.
I wasted precious time on that ride, but I needed to clear my head.
So what? I'm jealous? Fine. I'll admit it, but there's no point. This ends here, and this ends now.
Honey Lemon finds me before I can compose my face into neutrality.
"Gogo, is everything ok?" she asks, putting a hand on my arm... like Angelica did to Tadashi.
I'm not one to beat around the bush.
"Angelica is making me jealous. Which is stupid and I am so over it. I need to get back to the lab." The look on Honey's face goes from delight to disagreement to understanding.
"It's ok to be jealous you know? It's ok to li-" I hold up a hand to stop her.
"This isn't ok, not with me, you know that." Honey Lemon nods grudgingly and follows me back to the lab.
I've already set ground rules for myself before we get to the building.
1. No getting in the way of him and another girl 2. No cliches 3. No flirting 4. No dating Tadashi Hamada
I take deep breaths and walk back inside, where the first person I see is Angelica who looks up and smiles at me before going back to work.
I try smiling back, but it doesn't work out.
I haven't been working on my bike for ten minutes when I hear Tadashi behind me.
Freaking Hamada.
"Gogo, what's wrong?" he asks quietly, concern on every inch on his face, and as resolved as I want to be, I feel myself slipping.
"Nothing, I'm tired and I needed to test my bike." I say, which isn't really lying because I am tired and I did need to test my bike's limit.
Tadashi doesn't buy it.
"I'm always here if you need to talk Go'." I get a little frustrated, more with myself than with him, but I can't really focus right now.
"There's no need to get dramatic Hamada, I've seen you in worse condition, I'll get over it." When Tadashi finally recognizes that I won't be looking at him anytime soon, and that he's not getting anywhere with my mood, he sighs and walks off.
For once I couldn't really look him in the eye. I was afraid of what he might find there.
I contemplate avoiding him, but then he'd notice that I was acting weird...
Just don't think about it.
Just don't think about it.
"Please, just talk to me about it."
"There's nothing to talk about, Honey Lemon." I taste my coffee and find it lacking sugar, which only reminds me of the sugar Tadashi brought me, which brings me back to the matter at hand...
"Ugh. It's just really distracting and the more I think about it, the more I get annoyed with myself."
"Something bothering you Gogo?" Speak of the devil... I shouldn't be surprised, really. It IS his aunt's cafe.
Honey giggles as he takes the seat beside mine and pulls out, of all things, chocolate covered strawberries.
He knows these are my favorite.
I feel Honey's eyes on me the entire time as I take one, and it bugs me how I start feeling all fidgety when he's around and I try shaking it off.
"So Hiro started getting into bot fighting." he says. I relax because Hiro is a topic I'm used to, even though I've never met him. When you ask the right questions, you can keep Tadashi talking.
"Is he any good at mechanics?" I ask, reaching for another chocolate-covered strawberry.
Tadashi laughs and says,
"He's good... for a knucklehead." I stop mid-chew because he has this ridiculous look on his face that's two parts pride and one part love, and he almost... looks... cute.
Suddenly I'm a little irked.
He does NOT control my emotions, I do.
"Gogo, you've got a little bit of chocolate right there." he says.
And suddenly he's reaching for my face with a napkin and I'm thinking this is way too much cliche for me, so I grab the napkin from him and wipe my face myself.
Now I'm irritated.
Unfortunately my irritation causes me to swallow my strawberry hard, grab my coffee cup, and take an enormous slurp... which leaves me choking, uncontrollably.
Honey rushed to get napkins for the coffee I spilled, leaving Tadashi patting my back trying to help.
"Gogo, are you okay?" he asks.
But he's touching me and looking at me with concern and It only makes me cough harder and now I'm furious at him for making me cough more.
I mean, what the hell?
I shove his arm away from me and drink water from the glass that Honey brought me.
"You okay Gogo?" Honey asks. It's pretty much the same question HE asked me, and I refuse to look at him.
"I'm fine now." I say, standing up.
"Where are you going?" Tadashi asks, standing up and handing me my backpack before I can reach it, but I'm still not looking at him.
"I'm. Late." I say through clenched teeth. I take my bag and book it before they can ask me "late for what?"
But as I reach the door, Angelica beats me to it.
"Hey Gogo!" she smiles, and I'm pretty sure my face is drawn into a scowl but I don't care because all I can think about is that he invited her.
I grunt a reply and brush past her.
What the hell is wrong with me.
"Hey guys." I say, relieved to find Fred and Wasabi alone in the lab.
"Gogo!" Fred cheers, picking up a box of pizza.
"You want some pizza?" Wasabi asks mid-chew.
I shake my head.
"I just needed to clear my head." I say, reaching for my helmet. I could really use a ride right about now. I'm taking my bike down when I hear Fred say in a very loud whisper:
"Maybe you could ask HER, SHE's a girl."
"Ask me what?" I suspend my bike and turn around. Wasabi is blushing.
"It's nothing really." he says, taking another enormous bite out of his pizza, purposely not looking at me.
I let out an enormous sigh.
Here we go.
"Whose the girl?"
"Wow, Gogo, you're good." Fred's looks at me with a mix of surprise and admiration.
"Whose the girl?" I repeat when Wasabi finally swallows his sorry excuse for stalling.
"She's... well. She's..."
"Spit it out Wasabi."
"She's ... new." He looks up at me apologetically, and I can see why. It's Angelica.
I turn back to my bike, giving the wheels a few spins. Angelica hasn't done anything to me, I just need to chill out, Wasabi needs me and as much as I hate romance, who am I to deny him advice?
"What do you want to know?"
Fred nods encouragingly for Wasabi to continue.
"Well, how do you get a girl to like you?"
I let out an enormous sigh. You can't give advice when you have no idea what you're talking about. Except I like Tadashi, so I should know a thing or two about what attracts a girl...
"You should probably ask Honey Lemon."
"But she went to the cafe with you, and then Tadashi left a little while after he invited Angel."
"Angel?"
"That's the nickname I gave Angelica, you know, because she's always wearing white and she looks kind of Angelic. Perfect right?" Fred asks, dousing his third slice of pizza in hot sauce.
I shrug.
"Just woman up and tell her how you feel."
Ugh, it sounds exactly like those romance novels Honey likes so much.
I try my best not to cringe, and fail.
I'm such a hypocrite.
I myself need to woman up... and get over whatever this is.