"Why are you marrying Lily Evans?"
"Potter, her last name is Potter. You said you were friends in Hogwarts, you should know that her name never was Lily Evans."
"No Mark, not always. Her name once was Lily Evans."
"But."
"There is something we haven't told you. You probably never would have found out if it wasn't for James. When he came along, everything fell apart again. Do you have any idea how hard this is for him?"
"What's hard for him? What fell apart? I still don't know what you're talking about. Lily is Lily Potter, not this Evans girl you're talking about."
"Don't tell me you're that naive Mark. Please don't. Didn't you see what happened?"
"What? Tell me."
"It's not that simple."
"What is there to tell? They were friends in Hogwarts. Big deal."
"What is there to tell? Plenty. You have no idea what they have been through. Which is what I am here to tell you. Let me tell you the story of Lily Evans and James Potter."
"They met on a pretty nice day in Diagon Alley. Lily Evans, innocent eleven year old muggle born. James Potter, richest, least innocent, most important, ten year old pure blood ever. See, he ran into her. She got pissed. His father invited her and May to have ice cream with us. (Me, James, and Remus.)"
"Wait. Who the hell is Remus? And what are you talking about? James isn't rich or important?"
"Wanna bet? Anyways. We were all sitting together, eating, well, we never really got to that, our ice cream. James decided to have a little fun. He dumped his bowl of vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce on Lily's head. Needless to say, this didn't go over well."
"Why would he do that?"
"Ever heard of the Marauders? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs?"
"Of course, who hasn't? We heard stories about them at Beaubaxtons."
"Thought so."
"Who were they? What were their real names? Do you know? And what does this have to do with anything?"
"Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James. Respectively."
"."
"That's just what we did. That's why James dumped his ice cream on her head. But that happened, and we made it to school without too much more trouble. Besides James falling of a five story building and jumping right back up, that is. When we were in the boats, James and I capsized our boat, and made friends with Punch (the giant squid, we named him ourselves). Then during the sorting, James cursed Snape some how. Not even I knew it was him until many years later, I think Dumbledore did though."
"How did he do that? And what does this have to do with Lily?"
"Just wait. A year or two later, we decided to have a little fun with Lily and May, along with their two roommates. By then, it was full blown hatred between Lily and James. They couldn't get within five miles of each other with out engaging in combat, both verbal and physical. We filled their bathroom with exploding cabbages and waited.
"Lily, as James had predicted, opened the door first. She wasn't too happy. As I recall, they got entangled in a fight where they were banished to opposite ends of the castle for a week to stop the screaming.
"Things really started to heat up in fifth year. The teachers were really tired of all the fighting. They locked Lily and James in a room together. They took away there wands, but forgot one thing. James blew the room to pieces.
"May and I had no idea this had happened, so we did the same thing, just a month later. Except we had a better reason. We wanted them to shut up, and get together. They didn't agree, and James cursed me through the door until we let them out.
"Then it got interesting."
"What do you mean?"
"The fifth years and up had to go on a camp. This was when we were in sixth year. A muggle camp. You had to share a cabin with the people in your house in your year. So, Me, Remus, Peter, May, Jane, Elizabeth, Lily, and James had to share a cabin.
"Lily and James got lost during a Death Eater attack. That was a tough one to explain to muggles. We drove the Death Eaters back, but they were in the woods, looking for James."
"Wait, they knew who he was?"
"Of course, he's the whole reason they attacked the camp. They had to kill him. Lily and James finally escaped, James killed five Death Eaters. We returned to Hogwarts and found out, in a most inconvenient way, that James and Lily were finally together."
"How did you find out? And why does this matter at all? You're wasting my time. So what, they went out for a while, broke up, and Lily POTTER is marrying me."
"You still don't get it do you? We found out when James was nearly killed again in a Quidditch match. I thought Lily was going to break Remus's arm. I was sidelined once again for getting in trouble, the funny thing was though, they never benched James, ever.
"This was now seventh year. This was when things started to go wrong. People were angry. They kept trying to break them up, but it didn't work. It took a team of Death Eaters to do that. They kidnapped James, but Lily didn't believe him. Everyone was scared and frightened, we knew it was only a matter of time before Hogwarts was attacked. Unfortunately, it was them who knuckled under the pressure. They say love can never be corrupted, but fear corrupts all.
"After the big break up, as it was called, that rattled windows and doors with the screaming, it was just like the first five years all over again, Lily went to the Astronomy Tower to be alone. Remus also went to the same place without knowing it, to think. One thing lead to another, and suddenly, Lily and Remus were going out. James wouldn't speak to Remus for so long. We were afraid, along with everyone else, that this was to be the end of the Marauders.
"But luckily we are made of tougher stuff than that. Only a few weeks later, the teachers' were tired of the constant silence, so they pranked us. Of course, we had to get them back, and for a little while, it was like the old times. But it didn't last, we got them good, and it went back to the way it was. Then Lily confronted James, when they broke up, he said he didn't love her anymore. She wanted to know if it was true.
"James freaked. He told her the truth. That he had never stopped loving her, and she lost it. In a moment of craziness, James kissed her. Of course, Remus found out, and made the only right decision, he broke up with her. But Lily and James still didn't get back together.
"May, Remus, Peter, and I tried everything. In the end, we had a prank war. It did nothing, except start the deep hate again. It took a war to get them together again. Death Eaters attacked Hogwarts, just like we all had known. James was really the only hope, but they couldn't risk him for a school of kids. He was whisked away by the Ministry."
"Why did he let them take him?"
"He fought, and he fought hard. But Dumbledore insisted. So he went, but not for long. Only long enough to devise an escape. When he returned, many of the students and teachers had been killed. Lily was being held hostage so that James would return. And he did. He threw heaven and hell into chaos to save her.
"When it all ended, almost half the school was dead. James realized that he may not live to much longer, and did the unthinkable. He and Lily were married that summer. Lily Evans became Lily Potter."
"What? I don't think I heard you right."
"Believe it Mark."
"But. No I don't."
"Fine. Ask Lily, ask James, ask May, ask Remus. Ask anyone. They'll tell you."
"IF it's true, and I'm not saying I believe it, what happened?"
"You heard about the eight year right?"
"Ya, it was in the newspapers."
"Well, that was because of the war. They couldn't let us go just yet, we hadn't graduated, so we had to stay another year. Which wasn't a problem. But then some things got ugly.
"We had a school wide game of Sardines. Snape told the Slytherin Head, who made us stop and gave us detentions (Peter, Remus, James, and I that is). We pranked the whole Slytherin House, real bad, the next day, before a big Quidditch match. This was at the end of the year. I was sidelined again for cursing a Slytherin who snuck up on James to attack him.
"The Slytherins were still sore from the prank that morning, so they beat on James in the match. He fell over 100 feet from his broomstick. I swear Lily broke both my arms. He was in a coma for a week. When he finally woke up, I went to visit him. Lily was on her way in, but she was still outside."
"Well what happened? I still don't believe a word though."
"I, er. That is, I kissed James, Lily walked in, screamed, yelled, threw a few things, and once again I had messed everything up."
"You are making this less and less believable with every word."
"It's the fucking truth Mark. You wanted to know, so I'm telling you. They got divorced that summer, much to James's dismay. And now you have fucked it up again. Lily told him to stay out of her life, but he cant do that. Do you want to know why? Because you bloody well fucked it up! And now, he is falling apart. He's in hiding because he is wanted dead, and now, the only girl, only person, he ever loved, is marrying someone who cant even believe their history. You fucked it up real bad Mark. And that is not something to be proud of. Now you run home and get married to Lily, but don't expect me or James to be at your wedding, or even congratulate you,
"because you fucked it up Mark, you fucked it up."
"Potter, her last name is Potter. You said you were friends in Hogwarts, you should know that her name never was Lily Evans."
"No Mark, not always. Her name once was Lily Evans."
"But."
"There is something we haven't told you. You probably never would have found out if it wasn't for James. When he came along, everything fell apart again. Do you have any idea how hard this is for him?"
"What's hard for him? What fell apart? I still don't know what you're talking about. Lily is Lily Potter, not this Evans girl you're talking about."
"Don't tell me you're that naive Mark. Please don't. Didn't you see what happened?"
"What? Tell me."
"It's not that simple."
"What is there to tell? They were friends in Hogwarts. Big deal."
"What is there to tell? Plenty. You have no idea what they have been through. Which is what I am here to tell you. Let me tell you the story of Lily Evans and James Potter."
"They met on a pretty nice day in Diagon Alley. Lily Evans, innocent eleven year old muggle born. James Potter, richest, least innocent, most important, ten year old pure blood ever. See, he ran into her. She got pissed. His father invited her and May to have ice cream with us. (Me, James, and Remus.)"
"Wait. Who the hell is Remus? And what are you talking about? James isn't rich or important?"
"Wanna bet? Anyways. We were all sitting together, eating, well, we never really got to that, our ice cream. James decided to have a little fun. He dumped his bowl of vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce on Lily's head. Needless to say, this didn't go over well."
"Why would he do that?"
"Ever heard of the Marauders? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs?"
"Of course, who hasn't? We heard stories about them at Beaubaxtons."
"Thought so."
"Who were they? What were their real names? Do you know? And what does this have to do with anything?"
"Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James. Respectively."
"."
"That's just what we did. That's why James dumped his ice cream on her head. But that happened, and we made it to school without too much more trouble. Besides James falling of a five story building and jumping right back up, that is. When we were in the boats, James and I capsized our boat, and made friends with Punch (the giant squid, we named him ourselves). Then during the sorting, James cursed Snape some how. Not even I knew it was him until many years later, I think Dumbledore did though."
"How did he do that? And what does this have to do with Lily?"
"Just wait. A year or two later, we decided to have a little fun with Lily and May, along with their two roommates. By then, it was full blown hatred between Lily and James. They couldn't get within five miles of each other with out engaging in combat, both verbal and physical. We filled their bathroom with exploding cabbages and waited.
"Lily, as James had predicted, opened the door first. She wasn't too happy. As I recall, they got entangled in a fight where they were banished to opposite ends of the castle for a week to stop the screaming.
"Things really started to heat up in fifth year. The teachers were really tired of all the fighting. They locked Lily and James in a room together. They took away there wands, but forgot one thing. James blew the room to pieces.
"May and I had no idea this had happened, so we did the same thing, just a month later. Except we had a better reason. We wanted them to shut up, and get together. They didn't agree, and James cursed me through the door until we let them out.
"Then it got interesting."
"What do you mean?"
"The fifth years and up had to go on a camp. This was when we were in sixth year. A muggle camp. You had to share a cabin with the people in your house in your year. So, Me, Remus, Peter, May, Jane, Elizabeth, Lily, and James had to share a cabin.
"Lily and James got lost during a Death Eater attack. That was a tough one to explain to muggles. We drove the Death Eaters back, but they were in the woods, looking for James."
"Wait, they knew who he was?"
"Of course, he's the whole reason they attacked the camp. They had to kill him. Lily and James finally escaped, James killed five Death Eaters. We returned to Hogwarts and found out, in a most inconvenient way, that James and Lily were finally together."
"How did you find out? And why does this matter at all? You're wasting my time. So what, they went out for a while, broke up, and Lily POTTER is marrying me."
"You still don't get it do you? We found out when James was nearly killed again in a Quidditch match. I thought Lily was going to break Remus's arm. I was sidelined once again for getting in trouble, the funny thing was though, they never benched James, ever.
"This was now seventh year. This was when things started to go wrong. People were angry. They kept trying to break them up, but it didn't work. It took a team of Death Eaters to do that. They kidnapped James, but Lily didn't believe him. Everyone was scared and frightened, we knew it was only a matter of time before Hogwarts was attacked. Unfortunately, it was them who knuckled under the pressure. They say love can never be corrupted, but fear corrupts all.
"After the big break up, as it was called, that rattled windows and doors with the screaming, it was just like the first five years all over again, Lily went to the Astronomy Tower to be alone. Remus also went to the same place without knowing it, to think. One thing lead to another, and suddenly, Lily and Remus were going out. James wouldn't speak to Remus for so long. We were afraid, along with everyone else, that this was to be the end of the Marauders.
"But luckily we are made of tougher stuff than that. Only a few weeks later, the teachers' were tired of the constant silence, so they pranked us. Of course, we had to get them back, and for a little while, it was like the old times. But it didn't last, we got them good, and it went back to the way it was. Then Lily confronted James, when they broke up, he said he didn't love her anymore. She wanted to know if it was true.
"James freaked. He told her the truth. That he had never stopped loving her, and she lost it. In a moment of craziness, James kissed her. Of course, Remus found out, and made the only right decision, he broke up with her. But Lily and James still didn't get back together.
"May, Remus, Peter, and I tried everything. In the end, we had a prank war. It did nothing, except start the deep hate again. It took a war to get them together again. Death Eaters attacked Hogwarts, just like we all had known. James was really the only hope, but they couldn't risk him for a school of kids. He was whisked away by the Ministry."
"Why did he let them take him?"
"He fought, and he fought hard. But Dumbledore insisted. So he went, but not for long. Only long enough to devise an escape. When he returned, many of the students and teachers had been killed. Lily was being held hostage so that James would return. And he did. He threw heaven and hell into chaos to save her.
"When it all ended, almost half the school was dead. James realized that he may not live to much longer, and did the unthinkable. He and Lily were married that summer. Lily Evans became Lily Potter."
"What? I don't think I heard you right."
"Believe it Mark."
"But. No I don't."
"Fine. Ask Lily, ask James, ask May, ask Remus. Ask anyone. They'll tell you."
"IF it's true, and I'm not saying I believe it, what happened?"
"You heard about the eight year right?"
"Ya, it was in the newspapers."
"Well, that was because of the war. They couldn't let us go just yet, we hadn't graduated, so we had to stay another year. Which wasn't a problem. But then some things got ugly.
"We had a school wide game of Sardines. Snape told the Slytherin Head, who made us stop and gave us detentions (Peter, Remus, James, and I that is). We pranked the whole Slytherin House, real bad, the next day, before a big Quidditch match. This was at the end of the year. I was sidelined again for cursing a Slytherin who snuck up on James to attack him.
"The Slytherins were still sore from the prank that morning, so they beat on James in the match. He fell over 100 feet from his broomstick. I swear Lily broke both my arms. He was in a coma for a week. When he finally woke up, I went to visit him. Lily was on her way in, but she was still outside."
"Well what happened? I still don't believe a word though."
"I, er. That is, I kissed James, Lily walked in, screamed, yelled, threw a few things, and once again I had messed everything up."
"You are making this less and less believable with every word."
"It's the fucking truth Mark. You wanted to know, so I'm telling you. They got divorced that summer, much to James's dismay. And now you have fucked it up again. Lily told him to stay out of her life, but he cant do that. Do you want to know why? Because you bloody well fucked it up! And now, he is falling apart. He's in hiding because he is wanted dead, and now, the only girl, only person, he ever loved, is marrying someone who cant even believe their history. You fucked it up real bad Mark. And that is not something to be proud of. Now you run home and get married to Lily, but don't expect me or James to be at your wedding, or even congratulate you,
"because you fucked it up Mark, you fucked it up."