It's all over by the time you even find out about it. You had been out all day and ended up in a bar, which eventually led to some random girl's bed by the time the day ended.
You're slipping out of the the girl's apartment the next morning when you finally bother to turn your phone back on. The several text messages, missed calls and voice mails don't concern you at first, Prancy and the Dwarf were probably just worried because you hadn't come home last night.
Scrolling through the texts as you exit the building you think your theory is correct as most of them are just asking you where you are and to call them immediately. You shook your head and pull up your missed calls and that made you pause finally. Several missed calls from Hummelberry, but also a few from your mother and finally one missed call from her.
What the hell had happened? That is the only thought that was going through your head as you had stepped off into an alley to listen to your voice mail as quickly as possible. As the messages played you found you were nearly rooted to the spot and your thoughts began to spiral out of control.
Shooting at McKinley
Gun
Trapped in the choir room
Hiding in the bathroom
Shooting
She's fine, mija
Your mother's words do nothing to calm you. Tears are falling and your hands are shaking as you pull up your missed calls again and see the time stamp on Brittany's. She had tried to call you a little after 11pm. The love of your life could have died and you were off fucking some girl.
The next few hours are a blur and somehow you ended up on a plane back to Ohio. You had to change planes twice and had a four hour lay over at one point. You stared at your phone and almost called her so many times and secretly hoped she'd try calling you again but she never did.
Your mother pics you up at the airport in Dayton and drives you back to Lima. She tries to get you to come home first but you need to see her as soon as you can. You need tangible proof that she's alive. So she drops you off in front of McKinley and you have to keep yourself from sprinting into the school.
School is nearly over so you head to where Brittany's locker is and wait somewhere nearby out of sight. Brittany finally shows up but she's not alone. Sam is by her side and now you're second guessing even coming here. You can't hear what Sam is saying but you can see Brittany is smiling at whatever it is.
You can't seem to tear your eyes away from them as Brittany kisses Sam on the cheek just before he walks off with a smile on his face. Brittany then jumps slightly and pulls her phone out of her pocket, but frowns when the notification clearly isn't one she wants to see. You watch her clench the phone in her hand as she sighs heavily and leans against her locker for a moment.
A fleeting thought occurs to you so you pull your phone out of the pocket of your jeans and send her a text message. It's a simple "Are you okay?".
You wait and watch. Moments later, her phone buzzes in her hand. She reads your text and her body seems to relax against the locker. She stares at the phone for a long moment before pocketing it again and retrieving her things from her locker. You continue to watch as she closes the locker door and takes a few steps to her left, pausing in front of your old locker.
Her hand reaches out and touches it briefly before pulling her phone back out and hitting some buttons on the screen. Your own phone buzzes in your hand and you read her reply to you. "Call me plz?" Hell you can do better then that and you shove your phone in your pocket and stride down the hallway towards her.
"Britt?" you say to her. She starts a little and turns around with her eyes wide.
"Santana?" she says to you. "W-What are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry Britt, I just needed to make sure you were okay." I needed to see you were alive, is what you don't say to her.
"I..I called you…" she trails off.
You nod, "I know. I'm sorry I missed it. I was… occupied." you finish lamely, unable to meet her eye. You shove your hands in the pockets of your jeans and carry on. "I guess this is ridiculous, I mean we aren't together anymore but you know I still love you and god, Brittany I just needed to see if you were ok." you repeat, near tears as a lot of the feelings you've suppressed the past weeks start coming up. You hadn't actually spoken to her at all since she sent you off to New York or really since you unofficially broke up with her.
"But Santana," she starts.
"No Britt, don't say anything." The last thing you want to hear is how happy she is with Sam and how he probably rescued her. "I'm not here to interfere with you and Sam again, I promise." You bite your lip before you continue. "I just got scared…"
Fuck this is starting to sound a lot like another conversation you had with Brittany during junior year and you've no doubt that you are going to leave this conversation just as broken as you did then. Brittany blinks at you as if waiting for you to continue.
"I was scared too." Brittany says after a few moments. "Yesterday was awful Santana. I was all alone in a bathroom and I just kept thinking of all the things I hadn't gotten to do yet or…or the people I love that I wouldn't have gotten to say goodbye to."
"Like Sam." you say before you can think better of it. You watch her eyes narrow and she frowns at you. "Sorry…" you mutter.
"Damn it Santana, you just don't get it do you?" she spits out, suddenly madder than you've ever heard her. "Yes I thought about Sam because I do love him, but he'll never be you." Brittany grips the straps on her backpack so tight her knuckles are turning white. "I know you still love me but what is it gonna take for you to believe that I love you more than anyone else in the world?"
"Then why did you pick him?" you nearly yell.
"Because of you!" she says and that throws you. "Because I was stuck here and you needed to go off and become the person you are meant to be in a place big enough for that to happen. Sam's great and he makes missing you hurt less, but it still hurts. And I've been scared since I found out I wasn't graduating. Last year was so awesome and messed up all at the same time. We finally had each other but then I screwed it up."
"Britt…" You hate that you missed the fact she was struggling last year. That is something you've been feeling guilty about for months.
She looks down at the ground and kicks her cheerios trainers. You know she does this when she is nervous.
"I am happy to see you though, San. I had a lot of things I wanted to talk to you about last night when I called."
You reach out and grab her hands, "I'm sorry I didn't answer."
"I got my S.A.T results back." she says, squeezing your hands. "I got um, a 2340."
"Jesus Britt, that's amazing." you breath out in awe of her. "I fucking told you, you were a genius."
"Well M.I.T thinks so too and they want me to visit them and see if I wanna go to school there." she says and your jaw drops. You release her hands and throw your arms around her neck and hug her like you've wanted to since you heard about the shooting. "I just found out a few days ago and I was wondering if you'd go with me when I visit?"
You pull back from her and tilt your head to the side, "Sure I will Britt, but why?"
"Because I am sick of waiting and settling for things and allowing myself to be left behind." she says. "And mostly because I want you to be a part of this, you are the only person who has ever understood me. Everyone else thinks I am crazy or stupid, but you have always gotten me. Now I have a chance to go somewhere and finally do something with all of the things running around in my head."
"So you want your best friend along check the place out." you say as you try put some space between the two of you, but Brittany holds you firm around the waist and shakes her head at you.
"I want you back in my life Santana. I want you and I to leave Lima behind like we were always gonna do."
"Britt, Boston's not that far from New York, I am sure we can fit some visits in when you are at school next year." A small kernel of hope is starting to build in your heart and you know you should ignore it, but you can't help but wonder if by then you and Brittany could figure things out and be together again.
"That's the thing, Santana. If I do this, they want me to start right away."
That catches you off guard. "Wait how soon are we talking here?"
"Just after Regionals. I can finish out the credits I need for graduating while I am there."
"That really is soon, wouldn't they already be in the middle of a semester or something?"
"Yeah I think so, but I guess some of the people there wanna spend sometime with me going over some numbers with me. A couple professors from there visited me last week and I answered questions for them and wrote some stuff down. They seemed super excited."
"That's great Britt. What's Trouty have to say about all this?"
"I haven't told him anything. He was really shocked by my S.A.T. score and that kinda pissed me off."
"Fucking idiot." you mutter. "He's still your boyfriend though, Brittany. I doubt he'll like the idea of you taking off for Boston with me, even if we're only friends now."
Brittany moves her hands from your waist and cups your face, brushing her thumbs over your cheeks. She stares in your eyes for a moment and leans down and kisses you gently. She still tastes as sweet as you remember. The kiss only lasts a moment before she is pulling away but she doesn't release you. "What if I told you I want to change that?"
"You wanna be with me again?" you ask hesitantly.
"I haven't stopped wanting that since I was fourteen, Santana." She gives you a little grin. "I want to go to M.I.T. and be awesome and I want you to be awesome in New York and then someday we can start our lives together completely."
You want to agree to this so badly, but memories of last time are holding you back. "I want all that too, but how is this going to be any different than when I was in Kentucky and you were here?"
"Because this time we're chasing our dreams together. Besides, we don't have to make anything official yet. We'll go slow and figure things out, but I am not planning on being with anyone else and I hope you won't either. Just give us another chance. Please?"
The look she's giving you is so hopeful, you can't stop yourself from surging forward to kiss her. "Ok, Britt-Britt. Let's do it," you say once you pull away.
"Yeah?"
You nod to her and grin. "Yeah, Britt. I certainly can't argue with a genius."
"Awesome." She says and she takes your hand. "First things first. I am gonna talk with Sam and then we are going to Breadstix. And eventually in the future I'll buy you some shrimp and you can tell me we're dating this time."